Chapter 10

I don't know how long I spent in that forest. Time seemed to work differently for vampires. One moment, I was lost in my heartbreak – the next I was aware of my surroundings, but still displeased.

I wondered what woke me up.

Aah. A rustling in the undergrowth due west of my nest by the tree. Due west... coming from the direction of the castle?

I didn't want to be found. I needed a little longer to collect myself. A little more time to process that the last kiss I had with Aro was the last one we'd ever share. I didn't want to discuss my overreaction with the goddamn peanut gallery.

Just a little more time. I'd be okay again... I just needed some time. Yeah.

I willed myself to be as silent and still as the tree I rested against.

I tried to stretch my senses, while taking a deep quiet breath in – shit. It was Jane.

I wasn't sure I could avoid her or that I should even try. I kinda needed to cuss her out for not telling me about Aro's motherfucking wife.

Maybe she could have worked that in before dispensing her very sage "be confident" advice. Bitch.

Yeah. She deserved a piece of my mind.

I stood fluidly. I leaned against the tree, and stopped trying to conceal myself, taking deep noisy breaths, and shuffling my feet a little to clue her into my location.

As expected, her course never deviated, but her pace increased. Suddenly she was standing right in front of me. I glared at her with my darkest look. I could rip her apart for not forewarning me.

She seemed to sense how angry I was... and didn't come within striking distance. Not that it mattered with my speed, but I wanted answers more than I wanted to kill her.

"Why?" I screamed out, "I thought we were fucking friends. Why the fuck would you let me get blindsided like that? What kind of sadistic bitch are you?" There was so much venom in my voice, Jane winced.

She held her hands palms up, like she was telling me to hold on – and I became aware that I was crouched and growling at her. When did that happen?

I heard someone else coming, probably hearing my outburst. I didn't think. I grabbed Jane's arm and ran pulling her in the opposite direction.

I willed myself to be silent. And faster than whoever was chasing us. I needed to have this talk with her. My whole future with the Volturi depended on this.

As much as I wanted to pretend I would be all right with some time – my humiliation wasn't going to disappear tomorrow. Time to me now meant something very different. I couldn't go back there and smile at Aro's wife while I felt like this. And I had all the time in the world...

I would eventually be the bigger person. But that day was not today, or any time in the foreseeable future.

Finally, I felt we'd gone far enough. We were probably in another country by now. Surely this was sufficient to lose a single tracker.

I let go of Jane's arm and gave her the look. You know which one. The spit-it-out-and-hope-it-keeps-me-from-killing-you look.

She backed up a little and gave a deep sigh. She seemed to realize how important her next words were.

"Bella. I didn't do this to you on purpose. I swear. Aro forbid me from telling you about Sulpicia. He said there was a good reason, and I didn't question him. I knew he liked you. I know your attraction is mutual. I thought he was going to get a divorce. And, maybe not tell you until it was final, or something. Fuck. I'm not sure what the damn plan was – but it definitely was not what happened. I KNOW you saw his face when he told you. He didn't want it to happen that way, either."

She gave me a pleading look – like her "I blindly follow orders like a good little soldier" routine meant shit to me.

"What way could that have gone that wouldn't have hurt my feelings? You think if I found out later – when I had time to fall in love with him, it would have been better? My fucking heart is breaking now. What the hell would have been accomplished by stringing this out?" I ranted.

"Bella, they're not mates. They're companions. Companions break up all the time. In fact, they're marriage has lasted longer than any other companionship I've ever heard of."

"Am I supposed to be comforted by that? The longest relationship in motherfucking history – means they love each other. Who the fuck am I to get in the way of that?" I yelled.

"Shit. I don't fucking know. I mean, in the 400 years I've been with the Volturi I've never seen Aro show an interest in any woman. That includes Sulpicia. Even if he only desires you, it's still more interest than anyone else has received. That's why I told you to pursue it. Vampires are sexual creatures, Bella. We all fuck someone. Why shouldn't you fuck Aro, if he's the one you want?" She looked totally serious. Is that cold hearted shit true? We all fuck someone.

"Well. You go ahead and fuck a married man, if that's what you want. I'm holding out for someone that wants me more than that." I sniffled, thinking how little he must want me to stay married and order it kept quiet so he could roll around the sheets with me until I found out. Why would I want the adulterous bastard?

Aren't I better than that? Am I not worth more than that?

"Didn't he know I would eventually find out? There are only 17 people that live in that castle. Didn't he assume I would hear it from someone else? Or run into Sulpicia in the hallways? Or did he think me such a whore I would sleep with him before any of that could ruin it for him?"

I sat down at that thought – really, at this point I was only hurting myself with my musings. I rubbed my hands over my face, and tried to shake off the image of losing my virginity to a married man, who was hiding his wife in the same fucking house I lived in.

A shudder ripped through me.

Then, I thought of all the times Aro looked confused and hesitant. Did he even really want me? Did I push this on him?

The first time he kissed me – he walked away. The second time, I kissed him. And he attempted to stop things before they got too heated. Was that his loyalty to his wife? Or his hesitance about me?

The puzzled look he gave our clasped hands. Like I was a science experiment he couldn't figure out.

Then, I remembered the sorrow in his voice when he thought something was wrong with my change. The way he held me for two days.

What the fuck did that indicate?

I was so confused.

I let out a deep sigh. And decided to ask the ultimate question.

"All that aside fucking is one thing – but Jane, this is so much more than just physical desire. I really like him. Despite the fact that I've been pushed away more often then not by him. And, this – this fiasco today. This was the ultimate shove in another direction. Is the possibility of his interest really worth the constant blows to my self esteem? Do you really think he's worth it?"

I'm not sure if I was asking her whether or not I should forgive Aro. Or if whatever we have would ever even be classed a relationship. Maybe I was just thinking out loud. But her response shocked me.

"I can never answer that for you – if you decide to give him a chance, love is always a risk. You can never be 100% sure. Ask yourself this instead... can you imagine being with anyone else?"

The answer was still on the tip of my tongue when I smelled him. Fucking Christmas.

Jane and I sat in silence, just waiting for him to find us. The footfalls of at least four people were moving rapidly closer to our location.

We looked into each others eyes – she seemed to be asking me a question. And suddenly, I knew what it was. Aro would want to read her thoughts before we spoke. It was his way of always being a step ahead. Did I want her to allow it?

Yeah – fuck it – I did. He should know the depth of the hurt I was feeling. Let him ponder that before trying to blunder his way through an apology.

I nodded my head – and she set off to meet them.

I heard the murmur of conversation, but it was faint, even to me – and I couldn't make out precisely what they were saying. It only lasted a minute, and suddenly there was silence. Aro must be reading her. A growl rang out. And I figured Aro got to the part about my being such a whore it wouldn't matter that he was married.

More silence. Then a murmur and I could hear only one set of feet coming this way.

Aro appeared in my line of sight – looking one part apologetic and one part agonized. I had no idea what to say. I just looked at him. He was so pretty – and I wanted him so much, but I had put myself out there enough. Aro never gave me any indication he wanted me, too – beyond a couple of lusty looks. I was suddenly despairing. It was obvious to me that I'd already lost him.

He wasn't going to let go of a centuries long relationship for the possibility of me. And he shouldn't have to.

I would make this easy for him. And we would go back to our lowly guardsman and untouchable master relationship. It wasn't as if we'd ever made it too terribly far past that.

"Isabella - "

"Aro -" we both started to speak at the same time.

I held up my hand for him to let me go first. I could only imagine the polite let down he had planned for me – I just wasn't capable of listening to it right now.

"Aro – while I don't completely understand why you would hide your marriage from me, I understand that you are married. Which is enough." I looked away from him before I said the next part – a lump rose in my throat – but I swallowed it back viciously, I had to give him an out. "I will discontinue my inappropriate overtures and we can go back to things as they should be."

I didn't look at him. Fuck that was hard to get out. But he had to know I would. While, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else – that didn't mean I was going to make things uncomfortable for him if he wanted to stay with her.

Aro stepped closer, and I crushed my body back against the tree I was standing in front of. He grabbed my hand, and I could feel the now familiar tingles. I closed my eyes tightly. I didn't want to imagine that this was the last time I would feel them.

"Isabella. I didn't keep the knowledge of my wife from you maliciously. I just didn't understand the bond, the attraction I have to you – and I wanted some time before I had to make a decision. I know Jane told you Sulpicia and I have been together for many years – but what she could not have known, is that for most of those years – we were simply companions, in the true sense of the world. There has been nothing romantic between us for several centuries. I have kept her as my wife, because of the position it affords her. A concession, if you will – because I found myself unable to be with her, after only a short time married. I don't believe that will be the case with you. After your rather spectacular exit – Marcus showed me our bond. Well, as it was. He said it turned black when you found out about Sulpicia. He thinks we are mates. But something you must know about mates is that they still have to make the choice to be together. If we never fully bond, we will not be plagued by all the downfalls of mating, but a lingering pain will be present whenever we are in each other's presence. Such a thing would be intolerable. If you choose not to be with me, I will have to send you to another coven to live out your newborn year."

I opened my eyes wide at that, and stared at him incredulously.

"Are you trying to say you want to be with me? Are you offering me the chance to be your mate?"

Aro looked contemplative. "I would like to try, Isabella. I would like the chance to get to know you enough to make that choice, the right way. I would rather not give you an unequivocal yes or no, right now. If I divorce Sulpicia will you stay with me until we have the chance to figure it out?"

I knew I would later regret not giving him hell for the last few hours of anguish and guilt he'd knowingly set me up for – but at the moment I was too overcome with happiness to do much more than throw myself into his arms, and greedily inhale his Christmas scent while nodding crazily.

His arms locked around me, and I felt him doing the same thing I was, breathing deeply of my scent. Both of our bodies relaxed and as I pressed my face into his neck, all I could think was – I was right. All of my skin that was touching him tingled. Hell yeah.

A/N: So... there have been a lot of questions about Bella's powers, and - well, one person - asked for more action. So I promise the next chapter will explain everything, and maybe I'll have her kick someone ass, too. Just for you - anonymous guest who finds my story tame. Anyway, thanks for reading. I'll probably won't get the next chapter out until late tomorrow night. Please review in the mean time! A