Hello, everyone!

Well... at least this chapter doesn't end in a complete cliffhanger...

Enjoy Chapter 10!

In the banquet hall, the evening was progressing wonderfully. The initial excitement was starting to settle down, the volume of the din was lessening as people tired and went off to do other things. Everyone was satiated and happy.

Aang's new friends left early with their families, so he joined his father who was still speaking with Gyatso. They were mostly talking about boring stuff: politics, the status of the post-war world, etc. Aang slowly nibbled on what food was left, out of boredom more than anything else. He supposed he could go back to their room and see if Zuko was still awake. Then again, if he really was getting sick, Aang didn't want to bother him.

There were only about twenty people left in the hall when another airbender, wearing Earth Kingdom clothes, came running in. He immediately ran to Gyatso, glancing at his leader worriedly.

Gyatso immediately frowned. "Why are you not at your post? Did something happen?"

The airbender quickly bowed. "I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. One of the newcomers, Lee, just ran out of the enclave."

Aang immediately sat up.

"What?" Anil said. "What do you mean 'just ran out of the enclave'!?"

"H-he didn't seem to be in his right mind…" the airbender said. "We tried to talk to him, but he didn't even seem to even see us..."

"Anil!"

Zenji was running up to them, her expression anxious. "Someone just told me that our room was on fire. Apparently, everything's been burned."

Anil's stomach sank. "Apparently Zuko just fled the enclave..."

Zenji gripped her staff tightly. "Fled...? As in, ran away?"

Anil nodded, feeling numb. "We have to find him."

"It's the middle of the night, and he looked as though a dark spirit was after him," the guard airbender said. "There's no way you'll be able to find him until morning."

"You underestimate my skill," Zenji snapped.

"Anil…" Gyatso said.

Anil turned to the old man. "Something must be wrong," he said quickly. "Zuko wouldn't do something like this..."

"Anil…"

"We have to find him as soon as possible! If he's not in his right mind, he might hurt himself…"

"Anil!"

Anil stopped, realizing Gyatso had a very severe expression. Once the old man was sure he had Anil's attention, he said with purpose, "Who is Zuko?"

Anil's jaw opened to respond, but then he snapped it back closed. He hadn't realize that he had let Zuko's real name slip. Now, on top of Zuko having gone missing, they had to deal with the repercussions of having lied about his identity.

"I think you owe us an explanation," Gyatso said.

"Okay…" Anil said. "But we need to find Zuko first. I have no idea what state of mind he's in, but if it's as bad as I fear it is…"

Zenji stepped forward. "I'll find him. You stay here and do damage control."

"But - !"

"I'm the better tracker, and you're the better diplomat." Zenji placed a hand on his shoulder. "I promise, Anil... I'll find him and bring him back."

Anil clenched his fists before nodding. He watched as Zenji quickly ran out of the hall, feeling helpless. It had been such a nice evening. How had it all fallen apart?

No. This had been a long time coming. He had seen the signs, known that something had been building up inside Zuko: something bad. This was Anil's fault. He should have done more to make sure the Zuko was okay. After Aang got bitten, he had practically ignored Zuko, too preoccupied with Aang's well being. Even after they knew that Aang was going to be okay.

Anil let out a small sigh. He may feel like Zuko's father, but he was doing a poor job of showing it.

"I imagine you will want to speak in private."

Anil turned towards Gyatso and nodded. He was cautiously hopeful about the lack of hostility in the man's tone, but it was overshadowed by the despondent dread of what had happened to Zuko.

Please be okay.

There was one advantage to have spent years in near or total darkness; Zuko had excellent night vision. While most people would have been stumbling and tripping over the forest foliage and large tree roots, Zuko could see them all as clear as day and easily avoided them.

Which was good, because the last thing he needed was to have to blindly navigate these woods while Fong continued to sneer in his ear.

At the moment, Fong was laughing at him. "You can't seriously think that running away is going to change anything, can you? Running away isn't going to change the fact that you're a mons-"

"Look, I get it!" Zuko said. He was still trembling violently, his arms crossed across his chest protectively. "I'm a monster. I'm monster that needs to be controlled. I get it. I really do." Tears started to run down his face. Again. "Can't you just… leave me alone… Please?"

The humor left Fong's face, leaving behind a scowl. Zuko shrunk away in instinct. "Are you giving me orders?"

Zuko quickly shook his head, avoiding eye contact. He honestly had no idea what was real anymore. If Fong was just a hallucination, then he should have nothing to fear from it. But the horrific pain he had just experienced back at the enclave… what if that was a glimpse into the real world? What if Zuko had just created this world for himself, and now it was falling apart for some inexplicable reason?

He dully wondered how he managed to survive the torture after all these years. Of course, he had vague memories of Fong consulting some experts on the human body. Fong had intended to use him for as long as humanly possible.

He shivered. He recalled the times when they shoved his head into a bucket of water. They would monitor his heartbeatto make sure he didn't actually drown.

Aw… does the little ash maker not like it when he's doused in water?

He kept walking, barely conscious of what direction he was heading or what obstacles may lay in his path.

Fong suddenly appeared in front of him, stopping him. Zuko looked up just a moment before Fong wrapped a hand around his throat. "You've been spending too much time with airbenders. Running away is not going to solve your problems." He casually tossed Zuko back against a large tree.

Zuko fell to the ground between two large roots and immediately curled up and raised his arms above his head. "I-I'm sorry…!" he whimpered out desperately. "I j-just don't know w-w-what to do…"

He expected Fong to respond with some sort of biting retort. But it wasn't Fong who responded.

"You need to learn to restrain your destructive abilities."

Zuko's throat constricted at the sound of the voice. He slowly looked up, wrapping his arms around himself again. Fong was gone, and he had been replaced.

By Anil.

"You burnt my son, but I was willing to forgive it. You were relatively young, after all. There weren't any other incidents, so we tolerated your presence." He shook his head. "But this? You just destroyed all of our belongings. You've betrayed our trust and the trust of the enclave."

Zuko slowly shook his head and tried to respond, but found himself barely able to breathe, let alone make a sound. For some unfathomable reason, he suddenly wanted Fong back. He leaned forward and hesitantly reached a hand out towards the man who he had come to think of as his father. "A-Anil…"

Anil shrank back from his hand. "Don't touch me! You think I would want to be anywhere near you after what you've done?"

Zuko jerked his hand back as though it had been burned, looking up at the man with pleading eyes. "Anil, p-please… I-I've… tried so hard…!"

"Well that wasn't good enough. All you had to do was keep your firebending under control, and you failed."

Zuko's vision seemed permanently blurred by the uncontrollable tears. "Anil…" he begged, voice barely above a whimper.

Anil's lip curled as he looked down at him in disgust before beginning to walk away. "Stay away from me and my family."

Crack!

Zuko's head snapped to the side and saw Fong once again, holding a long single tailed whip that had a sharp piece of metal tied to the end.

With a small cry of fear, he turned back to Anil. "Please!" He reached out a hand towards Anil's back as he disappeared into the distance. "I-I'll do anything…!"

But Anil didn't come to his aid. He didn't even turn around. He just disappeared into the night. And all Zuko could do was stare at was his outreached hand.

My hands...

Zuko brought his hand back and stared at it. These hands… these hands are dangerous.

Fong flicked the whip through the air before thrashing Zuko across his back.

Zuko cried out, feeling his back being ripped open as the metal tip tore through his flesh. Fong continued to flog him and Zuko could only lay low on the ground, his breathing labored from the absolute agony and grief. He stared at his hands, his brain only able to form a single conscious thought through the blinding torture.

These dangerous hands have to be dealt with.

The beating stopped. Fong vanished. The agony in his back was gone. And Zuko smiled.

"I know how to fix this."

Aang had wanted to go with Zenji at first, but knew he would only hold her back. Aang was a terrible tracker and his night vision was rubbish.

When his father went to speak with Gyatso privately, Aang excused himself. He said he was going to check on their room and see what damage had been done.

When he got there, he found that someone had put up wooden barriers to keep people out. Aang simply pushed them aside. There were scorch marks on the edges of the doorway, but since the basic structure of the enclave was all stone, the flames hadn't spread to any of the other rooms.

Aang stood in the doorway, feeling numb as he stared at what had been their room. The walls and ceiling were charred black from the smoke and flames. The beds, the furniture, the furnishings… all reduced to nothing but ashes.

Zuko… did this? He had never seen Zuko firebend before: not since the day Zuko accidentally burned him. In fact, Aang had hardly ever seen any firebending. When he had, it had been at a distance and nothing particularly impressive. The fact that Zuko was able to completely obliterate the room was… formidable, to say the least.

Zuko had always told Aang that it was too dangerous for him to firebend. While that notion had seemed ridiculous at the time, looking at their room, Aang could understand where Zuko's fear was coming from.

Slowly, Aang walked through the room. The ash effortlessly jumped into the air, dancing around the airbender's legs. Once he got to the center of the room, he stopped and looked down at the swirling ash. He watched as it slowly twisted back down onto the ground, graying his shoes. Once it had completely settled, a small droplet fell from above and landed, darkening the ash in a perfect circle. It was soon followed by another. And then another.

Aang closed his eyes, both in an attempt to stop the tears and to cease staring at remains of their room. He knew Zuko had been hiding something, had been acting a bit off. But he had no idea that Zuko had been suffering so terribly that he felt the need to do… this. Zuko, who valued his self-control above all else…

He had been suffering like this all on his own.

Unable to hold back the sobs, Aang fell to his knees, once again disturbing the the ash. It made him cough a couple times, which only made him sob harder. Why hadn't Zuko said anything? Why did he feel the need to hide this from them? Why would he let himself get to the point where he would completely lose control?

Why, why, why…

Because he's afraid.

And in the end, that was always the answer. Zuko was still afraid, still hiding from his past. Aang had spent enough nights curled in bed with the firebender during his night terrors to know that Zuko was afraid of losing his family. He was afraid that his problems and mistakes would eventually drive them all away. This fear is undoubtedly what led to his decision to not to tell them anything. In the past, Aang had tried to get Zuko to talk more, but it always resulted in Zuko just pushing him away, so he stopped.

Now he wished he had tried harder to get Zuko to open up.

Aang slammed his fist to the ground. He would give anything to be able to share the burden of Zuko's plagued past. If it were possible, Aang would take on all his horrible memories and his present suffering. It would be less painful than watching helplessly from the sidelines.

He looked at his hands which were now gray from having been on the ground. In fact, his entire body had a thin layer of the powdery residue. I'll need to wash up. In fact, I should leave. It's probably not good for me to be breathing this all in.

But he didn't leave. He didn't even get up.

He just remained kneeling in the center of the room. And the ash continued to darken from fallen teardrops.

It wasn't a hard trail to follow. Zenji lowered her torch to the ground a few times to make sure she was seeing it right, but it was clear that Zuko hadn't taken any measures to cover his tracks. The other watch guard had said that he had been pale and sweaty and looked as though he wasn't really aware of what was going on around him. If this was accurate, that probably meant Zuko wouldn't be moving quickly or efficiently. Which was both good and bad.

Of course, the sooner she could Zuko, the better. That way she could knock some sense into his thick skull before he did something stupid. However, finding him quickly would also be very telling about his current mental state. And that was bad.

But you know what's even worse?

Suddenly hearing him scream from not too far away.

"ZUKO!" Zenji sprinted in the direction of the scream. The screaming quickly diminished to silence, and her stomach dropped. "Zuko, whatever you're doing, stop it right now!"

She was running with such urgency that she nearly ran straight past him. He was curled in the nook between two large tree roots. However, Zuko let out a startled gasp when Zenji burst into his view, alerting her to his location.

Now that she found him, Zenji didn't immediately approach him. There was something in the air, something that stank. Zuko was pressed tightly against the tree, cradling his left arm to his chest and his eyes wide and slightly unseeing. While he was clearly aware of her presence, Zenji doubted that he was actually seeing her.

It reminded her of when he had found the drawing of her grandmother's rapist.

"It's just me… Zenji." Zuko didn't respond save for a small frown. "I don't know what happened…" she continued, "... but I promise you're safe now."

Zuko suddenly smiled. This only exacerbated Zenji's fears. Even in the best of moods, Zuko rarely smiled. He might cock his head with a small smirk or grin, but never this full-toothed expression.

"He's gone," Zuko said, his voice hoarse.

It was Zenji's turn to frown. "Who's gone?"

Zuko let out a soft laugh. "He's gone. A-and he hasn't come back…! Yet, anyway…" His expression sobered, his eyes filling with tears. "But I was a coward. I-I c-couldn't d-d-do the o-other one…"

With increasing horror, Zenji looked down at the arm Zuko was cradling to his chest. She couldn't see very well in the dull torch light, but with that thick smell in the air, the thick smell of burnt flesh…

"Zuko," she breathed. "What've you done?"

Zuko pulled his shaking arm out and looked at it. His hand was red and wet-looking, dead skin already starting to peel back from the burn. "I did what I had to do…"

For a moment, Zenji only stared at his hand, her mind refusing to accept what he was saying. He wouldn't have... He couldn't be that stupid. He couldn't be that desperate.

Don't just stand there like an idiot. Do something!

In the blink of an eye, she was kneeling in front of Zuko and examining his hand. Thankfully, he didn't shy away, but he was giving her a strange look.

All his fingers and his entire palm were completely burned. The burn extended to the back of his hand, but didn't completely consume it. Between the poor lighting and the fact that Zenji wasn't a healer, she hoped that it wasn't as bad as she thought it was. "We need to get you to a healer."

Zuko didn't respond. He was still staring at Zenji as though she might vanish at any moment. Zenji was concerned for Zuko's mental state, but knew that his burn was a more immediate threat. They needed to get it treated before infection set in. She put the torch out and tossed it aside. They weren't far from the enclave, and it was nearly a full moon. She'd be able to get back without it, and she had a feeling she would need both arms to help Zuko walk.

"C'mon, let's get moving." She grabbed him from under his armpits and hauled him to his feet. He was surprisingly light, considering he was taller than her. "Have you been eating at all lately?"

Zuko just shrugged, leaning against her.

Just get him back. They'll patch him up, and then we'll address everything else. She pulled his uninjured arm over her shoulders and started guiding Zuko back to the enclave. "Don't worry, we're going to figure this all out. Just remember that you're safe now. The past is in the past." She continued rambling nonsense, both for Zuko's and her own benefit. "... the healers at the enclave will patch you up and…"

"What?" Zuko tore himself away from Zenji, staring at her with wide eyes. It was the most alert Zenji had seen him since she found him. "I-I can't go back… I'm out of c-c-control… I… I… our room…"

"Don't worry about our room," Zenji said sharply. "Everything there is replaceable. You are not."

Zuko shook his head, slowly stepping backwards away from Zenji. "I-I'm just g-g-going to hurt… everyone." Then he looked back up at Zenji with a realization. "Fong was right. I-I need to be controlled! He kept me locked away, beat me to submission in order to protect everyone else!"

"NO!" Zenji grabbed his shoulders and roughly shook him. "Fong was not right! Fong kidnapped a child and then tortured that child for absolutely no good reason once that child's bastard father left him for dead! And then he fucking brainwashed that child into believing that he deserves everything that's been done to him! He's the monster here, not you!"

But Zuko just kept shaking his head. "N-no… you have to lock me up… you have to keep me away…!" He looked at Zenji pleadingly, his eyes welling with tears. "I-I don't want to be in the dark… I d-don't want to be alone with the demons and the cold... B-but I-I have to. I'm a m-monster that needs to be controlled… You have to lock me away!"

Zenji wrapped her arms around Zuko, holding him as tightly as she could. "No one is locking you away. You are not a monster." You're just a terrified child who never really escaped Fong's ship. Zenji hated herself for only having this realization now. Zuko had seemed to be getting better. It seemed like he was slowly learning to leave the past behind him. But in reality, he had just buried it deep inside and didn't address it until it became too much for him to handle.

She and Anil should have seen this coming. They should have done more to make sure Zuko wasn't just bottling everything up. But they didn't. They had just assumed that he was alright, that he was dealing with everything in a healthy way. And now they were dealing with the consequences.

"Please…" Zuko said desperately. "I d-don't want to hurt anyone…"

"Shh… You're not going to hurt anyone…"

There was a long pause. "I burnt Aang."

Zenji squeezed him. "It was an accident. You haven't done anything wrong."

Zuko shook his head again, but before Zenji could respond, he fell limp in her arms. He had fallen unconscious.

Zenji fell to her knees from the sudden dead weight, but didn't let go of him. She knew she had to get him back to the enclave. She knew she needed to get him to healers.

But for that moment, all she could do was hold him and softly cry for the boy she thought of as her son.

Anil stood in Gyatso's office, hands behind his back, his lungs starting to hurt from the pure anxiety.

Not only did they not know where Zuko was or what had happened, but Anil had just told Gyatso everything. The man seemed reasonable enough, but they hadn't known each other long. The old man still might have deep-set prejudices that would result in the four of them back on their own in the chaos of the outside world.

Which would be fine. They had lived five years like that. One week in the enclave wouldn't have softened them that much. But Anil was surprised to find that the prospect made him a little sad. It had been... nice to be around friendly faces again. Friendly faces that didn't go sour when they saw Zenji or Zuko. And Anil had honestly never seen Aang so content than when he was surrounded by the Air Nomad culture.

However, whatever Gyatso decided, they would make do.

The monk in question was deep in thought, considering everything Anil had just told him. After several minutes of agonizing silence, Gyatso spoke. "It's no secret that true evil exists in the world. I've known this since I was a young man... since the day I watched the Fire Nation soldiers slaughter a room full of children just because they were airbenders." Gyatso made eye contact with Anil. "In a way… I suppose those children were lucky. Luckier than your young Zuko, it would seem, who was dehumanized for the exact same reason."

Hope surged in Anil. "He hasn't firebent in years," he said. "I don't think he's even purposefully firebent since before he was kidnapped. I'm certain he's afraid that he'll be forced back to his old life if he does. This incident… with our room… Spirits, he's probably terrified right now…"

Gyatso nodded. "Bending is part of who a person is. Its power comes directly from our flow of chi, which is affected by our mental well being. They are all inexorably linked. By disallowing himself to bend for so long, his mind created a levee to protect itself. And now, after all these years, that levee has broken under all the pressure of the built up trauma and negative energy." Gyatso crossed his arms, looking at the space in front of him in consideration. "These are very unique circumstances. I can only imagine the turmoil that boy is facing now."

Anil could hardly believe his ears. "So… you'll allow us to stay? Even though Zuko's a firebender?"

"Of course," Gyatso said with a sad smile. "There's no reason to turn away people in need."

While Anil didn't want Gyatso to change his mind, he had to be sure the man was genuine. "Even though he's the son of Firelord Ozai? Even though he's the direct descendant of the man responsible for decimating our people?"

Gyatso waved his hand in dismissal. "We are not defined by our parents or their actions. We are only responsible for our own."

Anil let out a huge sigh of relief, his body visible relaxing. "You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say those words."

Gyatso nodded. "I'm glad. However… I do have a condition."

Anil frowned slightly. "Yes?"

"The four of you are allowed to stay... so long as Zuko makes an honest effort to learn to control his abilities."

On the surface, this didn't seem unreasonable. It was for everyone's best interest, including Zuko's, that he learn to firebend properly. However, after all the fights Anil has had with Zuko in the past about his bending, he knew that this wasn't just a simple task of teaching him katas. In Zuko's mind, his nationality and his bending was the justification for all of his suffering. To him, he was a firebender and therefore Fire Nation... and therefore everyone else had a right to treat him like a worthless animal.

Zuko wouldn't be able to control his bending until he was able to confront and cope with his past and his psychosis.

And from the look on Gyatso's face, that was exactly his intention.

Anil nodded. "As soon as I'm sure that Zuko is back and safe, I will talk to him about his bending." He bowed deeply. "Thank you, Gyatso."

Gyatso shook his head. "Don't thank me just yet. I fear I have just put you and your family upon a harrowing and arduous path. Hopefully... you will all come out much stronger in the end."

Okay... so not a bad note to end the chapter on, right?

So what do you think? Review and let me know!