Author's Note: I'm back! This has by far been my longest break, and I'm so sorry. You take the time to read an amateur's story and I don't even update. I could not have asked for a better outcome, and on my first story (ever) no less! I have just finished scrolling through all the comments and my eyes teared up. Even though I will hopefully write other stories, I will always have this one first in my thoughts, it will always be the most special to me. You are truly amazing (not to mention you are a THG fan) and I hope you enjoy the conclusion. If you have any ideas please comment! Love you all! Also: I just got a twitter! the_observer810 for my lovely comments on Hunger Games. Never Stop Reading, Everlarklullaby
Worry. Panic. Fear. The same jumble revives itself in my deteriorating spirit as I lull Ariya to sleep. Yes, I have chosen that name. Completely irrelevant to anything I know. A new start, that is what I had hoped for until we were stung. But the worst part? Nevermind the pain or taking care of Ariya. It's not knowing. Right now, a curtain lies in front of my heart. A vast black sea of unknowing. Peeta's fate is my fate. If he dies, he will take my heart with him. Ariya will have an indifferent person to raise her. Veiled by the past. Shrouded by loss. Eternally mourning what used to be. I will be indifferent to her pain and suffering. Where have I heard this all before? Suddenly, what is left of my heart shatters into pieces. My mother. I am becoming what I said I would never become, even if the day came that all the citizens of District 12 were well-fed. How could I do that to her? Ariya has done nothing to deserve it, and I will not punish her in that way. I remember seeing Prim's cheeks sink closer to her bones everyday. Her death comes swinging back. Death. Loss. It devoured my past like...a ball of fire swirling its tongues around everything that is good. But not my future. I will not stand for this, this fire that consumed my life so barbarically. I stand up with a sudden determination and walk to Dr. Aurelius.
"Dr. Aurelius: I want to see Peeta." He is conversing with official-looking doctors, many looks at once on his face. But they all portray one feeling: anxiety. "Ah, Mrs. Everdeen: just whom I was looking for. We were just about to do that ourselves, please: do come with us." Johanna is lurking nearby. "I'm coming." She walks briskly with us, and Haymitch tags along as well, as if it were a trip to the candy store. What a nice little trip this is: all of us skipping around to see which of the infinite reactions my husband will choose. We walk into a pristine room with a bed encased in some sort of glass case (idiots, they might as well armed Peeta too). It resembles one that I heard in a story my father told me long ago, of the prettiest girl in all the land. A witch queen was terribly envious of her and poisoned her with an apple, and it was not until her true love kissed her that she woke up again. As if a "true love's kiss" could save him now. That was a fairytale, and this is no such thing anymore.
Peeta looks peaceful, something I rarely see and is a beautiful sight amidst all this pain and suffering. Guards enter, armed with tranquillizers. We are escorted into the viewing room where medical students usually watch surgeries, but I cannot bear this fence, this barrier. Whatever happens: I want to be there. I leave the baby with Johanna and walk out. The doctors immediately rush to my side and try to negotiate with me, Dr. Aurelius must have told them I'm no easy task. "Mrs.-Mrs. Everdeen, you must go back inside, especially you." Starts one of them. "When Mr. Mellark was first poisoned he was filled with negative images of you, and it is probable he will seek you, the window that separates you is virtually indestructible, please go back for your own safety." I open my mouth to retort, but I remember my weakness: disobedience. I oblige and go back without a word. The team of doctors prepare their supplies. You'd think they were launching a hovercraft, not waking a man from deep sleep. I stand with my nose almost pressed to the window: like a little girl waiting for the shop to open. But unlike giddy girls who burst through the door, I am silent and solemn, prepared for the worst. Dr. Aurelius' voice comes soothingly through the walls. "Please, keep absolute quiet whatever happens. The door is behind you. Should anything happen: please leave immediately. Especially Mrs. Everdeen and her child." They tried to prevent me from bringing Ariya, but I've neglected her far too long. I know what they were trying to prevent, they didn't want her to see her father kill her mother. "Also, please keep all hands and legs inside the vehicle and enjoy the ride." Says a rough female voice. "Johanna, please." Says Haymitch. The air in the room feels like the highest and tension-ridden note in a song. So high to the breaking point. They unwrap a cuff from his head that seems to be the source of his sleep. The clock says three minutes, yet it feels like an eternity without his pale eyelids fluttering open. The line on his heart monitor is flat.