A secret of my own

First I want to say thank you for 500 views! Actually we aren't that far from 600 xD All of those single views means a lot to me just as well as the reviews. No… That would be an understatement – the reviews mean so incredible much to me and make me seriously happy! :D

I have my first exam tomorrow :( It is a 5 hours long exam in Danish… Not the worst but I really wish I didn't have to do it anyways.

. . .

Chapter 10 – Midnight meeting

The sunset was just around the corner and I couldn't help feeling anxious. I still hadn't talked with Shane since our argument yesterday. I waked up early and went to school right away. His words from the day before still hurt a lot. I knew he was drunk and he may not have meant to say those exact words but I knew they were true. You may talk shit when you're drunk but it's always the truth – the truth you're too scared to tell when your body isn't affected my alcohol.

After school I went to Myrnin's place. I told myself it was to help out Myrnin and be useful, but everybody knew the real reason; I was avoiding Shane.

When I walked home I couldn't help but almost walk in slow motion. The thought about looking Shane in his eyes, seeing the anger and disappointment in them again made tears show in my eyes. The thought that our relationship had reached it end hurt so bad. I knew I was probably overreacting but I just couldn't help it.

As I reached the glasshouse the sun was more than less gone and only the evening's darkness was showing. Shane may didn't care about me anymore but I still wouldn't get away with being this late, because of Eve and Michael.

"Claire? Is that you?" It sounded from the living room as I walked through the doors.

"Yeah it's me."

"Where the hell has you been all day? You could have texted us you know?" Eve attacked me right away as expected.

"I know. Sorry about that."

"You okay?" She continued.

"Fine."

Stupid Claire. Stupid choice of word. Every single person in this universe knew that the word 'fine' mean the absolute opposite.

"Where's uhmm…" I started.

"His room. You should probably talk to him Claire." Michael answered.

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I should go talk to him? Shane was the one who pushed me away by saying what he apparently really thought of me.

"No thanks Michael. I'm good." And with that I lifted my backpack up from the floor again and walked up the stairs.

Just before I reached the top step Michael said: "He asked for you Claire… Not just once."

I didn't answer, just continued my walk to my bedroom, passing Shane's door as was it nothing.

. . .

From the minute I'd walked through me bedrooms door the time had passed in slow motion, with the anxious feeling raised in me for each minute. There was still one hour to midnight and I wasn't able to figure out anymore I could do any longer. I'd been reading, writing, making homework twice, tried to sleep and the list went on. If I had just been able to sleep then maybe the time would have went a little faster, but no I was way too anxious for that. If Eve or Michael knew what I was planning to do tonight they would kill me themselves. Maybe even Shane?

Let me be honest; the most of the waiting time I was actually waiting for the usual knocking melody on my door. He never came though.

When the clock finally reached eleven thirty I rose from my bed and prepared. I emptied my backpack from books and filled it with weapons instead. I took all from knifes to silver spears. He had the ability to communicate to me through my mind but that didn't necessarily make him a vampire. Who knew what he could be and how many of his kind there may were?

Not long ago I only thought vampires and creatures like that was fantasy but Morganville quickly learned me otherwise. And soon after the vampires the draugs came to existents as well. I still didn't really get what they were, the draugs. Water yeah but how? I hated not having all the answers; I guess that's kind of the package when you're a nerd. Because that was what I was and would always be, a nerd - always quicker in my head than on my feed. That was why I had Shane. He protected me, he fired the necessary shots, swung the spears and knifes while I were coming up with a clever plan. We were a great couple in so many ways and I would always love him no matter what. Even though he said some shit yesterday I still couldn't help being nervous about, if he was going to hate me even more after this.

. . .

The voice in my head had said two streets from the coffee shop. I was now three. The regret started to fill my mind and I was so close to turn around again and again, but each time my legs stopped my mind yelled at them for keep moving. Not the mystic man's voice but my own. I needed this to stop; I needed all of this to reach an end. And also I couldn't help my curiosity - who was this man with this ability? Why did only I hear the voice? Why did he want my blood? Why now?

As I reached the second closest street at the coffee shop I turned to the dark alley on my left, just as I was told. I couldn't see a thing so I kept close to the wall.

"Stop."

I did. I don't know why, but of some reason I had expected the voice to come from an actual person at this moment and not still in my head.

"There's a bucket on the ground."

And?

"Use it."

I guess that was one advantage by this kind of communication. I didn't have to think and then talk, I could settle by just thinking; let my brain do the work. This time though I didn't know what to think because I simple didn't understood. Use it? What?

"Don't tell me you didn't bring weapons. I'm not stupid you know dear Claire I'm actually quite clever."

Which one of them?

"The knife."

"So you're not a vampire?" I couldn't help but asked out loud.

"It's not for me."

So he is a vampire?

"I didn't get you to come here dear Claire to give you answers, but to stop you from getting more questions. Now take out the knife."

Slowly but surely I did. I still couldn't see a thing so I cut myself while finding it in my backpack.

"Cut."

What did he mean now? Cut what?

"You."

For the first time since I arrived here I froze. I knew he wanted me to give him my blood but cutting myself. No.

"A favour for a favour dear Claire. You know the rules as well as I."

I did. I knew what I was getting into long before that moment but the fear of actually having to do it, to cut myself, overcame the old fear of having a voice inside my head. I had already gotten used to it somehow but I knew what I had to do anyways. If I didn't make this stop I would go crazy sooner or later. I would lose my parents, Eve, Michael … and Shane. I couldn't lose him.

So I did it. I took the knife towards my left wrist and cut. The second the blade touched my thin skin the pain started. It hurt like hell. The tears quickly followed. I didn't understood how I was able to continue the cut from one side of my wrist to the other, but I did it all the way. The blood poured out of me and there was nothing I could do about it. The bottom of the bucket was only just covered and I already felt as I was about to pass out. This was a mistake, a huge mistake.

. . .

You're damn right it was Claire! And probably the most stupid mistake you could ever make. Just don't die okay? Oh wait, that's my decision to make xD

And Shane… What the heck is going on with Shane? Pull yourself together man!

Can't wait to write next chapter, I'm so excited :-) It want be until after my Danish exam though. I hope I'll be able to post it this weekend but I won't make any promises.

See you soon