The Curse Chapter Ten: It's Not Me

Mitchell could hear the words Jack had spoken just yesterday echoing around in his head. "Sure, why not, I don't have to be back until the day after tomorrow. There's not a soul on the planet. What could possibly go wrong?"

The spray of bullets kicked up dirt at Mitchell's feet and he took a dive into the nearest bush, immediately realizing it was a thorny berry bush. As he ripped through the thorns and hit the ground hard, his sidearm discharged and took a hunk of flesh from his thigh.

Vala's P-90 jammed, her hand gun would not clear her holster and the Zat she carried fizzled out at the first attempt to blast the ugly creatures. She yelled for help, unfortunately right as a loud shot boomed in front of her. Hitting the ground she rolled behind a boulder and fell through the earth.

Grinning happily, the big automatic weapon steadily oscillating in his firm grip, Jack emptied the G-35 against the remainder of the first wave of their attackers. Thankfully he had time to reload before the second wave cleared the hilltop. He reached for the honking big clip astonished to find that he didn't have a reload. The grin slid off his face like melting ice cream and he looked at the ground, checked every pocked and looked up at the multitude of assailants screaming as they cleared the hill top. He hightailed it for the tree line, and was knocked out cold when he didn't see the low branch.

Sam was trying to dial the Gate as Teal'c stood guard behind her. "SamanthaCarter, is there a problem?"

"I can't get the last symbol to engage, it's as if the address changed in the last four hours." She kept manipulating the DHD. "I think I'm going to have to hookup the laptop to it."

"I do not see the others yet and I cannot raise them on my radio."

Frowning, Sam tried her radio and got nothing. "There's not even static, something's up. You go; I'll keep trying the DHD."

With a quick nod Teal'c took off towards the meadow.

Pulling the front panel from the DHD she picked up the laptop from the ground and began to sort out wires to hook the two together. The first thing she got was a hefty shock that sent her back flat on the ground, then the DHD began to light up symbols all over the dial, the laptop made a sad little whine, and the screen went wavy, and flat-lined.

Teal'c had just reached the end of the forest where the meadow opened when he heard a twig snap behind him, turning, he aimed the P-90 but found only a child of nine or ten years standing there smiling, hands behind his back. Teal'c smiled and lowered the rifle. The child's arm shot forward and before Teal'c could react the stone hit him dead center of the golden tattoo and he toppled like a felled oak. Thump! He was out.

Artifact in hand, Daniel wandered back the way he'd come. Stopping suddenly, he looked ahead down the flame lit passageway disoriented. Turning he looked behind him. What was behind him was what was just a minute ago in front of him. Again, he looked ahead. What was ahead of him was what was just a minute ago behind him. "Now that's odd." He said aloud. Turning sideways he studied the corridor, head moving side to side, his finger pointing one direction, "that should be out," and then the finger pointing in the other direction, "that should be in." He studied the artifact in his hand. "Oookaayy." He placed the object on the ground, held up his hands and spoke to the wall, "I wasn't going to take it, I was just going to study it … outside in the daylight." Nothing happened.

Moving would be a good idea, just in case some huge stone ball started rolling down the passageway towards him. He picked the relic up and assuming back was front he carried it forward and found himself once again in the room where he'd taken it. Placing the stone on the pedestal he stepped back. And back and back until he cleared the room. Coming around he found himself at the mouth of the cave, Vala unconscious on the ground in front of him.

Hurrying to her side he wetted his bandana from his canteen and wiped her face with the cool water. Vala's eyes opened, darting around fearfully until they came to rest on Daniel.

"What happened" They both said at once.

"I don't know." They replied in unison.

Daniel helped her up. "Come on, we need to get out of here. You won't believe what just happened."

"Ha! You have no idea. You know that probe that said there was no life on this planet? Well it missed the count by about a few thousand weird, slimy monster people who were shooting and…." The rumble of stone stopped her and they both took off at a run.

Stopping at a safe distance, they turned to watch the cave crumple in a hailstorm of stone and dust.

"Holy…" Daniel started.

"…weird planet!" Vala finished.

"Right. What were you saying about shooting?"

"We were attacked, we scattered. I fell in a hole and here I am. Does your gun work?"

"Why?"

"Well, because none of mine did, I saw Mitchell throw his P-90 down in disgust. Jack seemed to be doing quite well, thought."

Daniel checked his ammo, gave Vala his sidearm and hand out, indicated for her to show the way.

As they reached the meadow all was quiet. Not a bird or breath of wind, much less gun fire could be heard. Cautiously they approached. Mitchell was on the ground with Sam tending his bleeding leg. Jack scanned the opposite side of the field towards the hillside and Teal'c looked back towards the direction of the Stargate.

With a questioning scowl, Daniel turned to Vala. "I swear Daniel; there were bodies everywhere, slimy monster bodies." She put fingers to her mouth and let out a piercing whistle. Jack and the remainder of SG-1 peered in their direction. Mitchell waved an arm in the air and Daniel and Vala strolled towards them.

"You'll never guess what happened to me." Daniel slammed his hands in his pockets, dropped his head with a disgusted shake and opened his mouth to continue when they all started talking at once.

"YOU! Why I had…

thousands of them, thousands.

and then they were…

The DHD lighting up and ….

The child threw the …

I like ta have knocked my head off…

Thorns were rippin' my skin and the damned gun …

It shocked me, the laptop fizzled….

Knocked unconscious by the velocity of …

Slimy monsters just kept…"

"Wait-wait-wait." Daniel's hands shot out of his pockets and went out like a crossing guard, "One at a time."

Sam pulled Mitchell up and he hopped around wincing in pain. "We came over the rise lookin' for you and about a million mini Godzilla's with guns blastin' appeared, my weapon jammed and I took a nose dive ending up in a tangled hell of thorns and if that wasn't bad enough my sidearm discharged and like to have taken my leg off." Mitchell pointed to said leg.

Everyone nodded in understanding except for Daniel who looked like he'd just swallowed a bug.

"Darling, my P-90 also jammed, I couldn't get my hand gun out of the holster and the Zat did a little pop and plop so I rolled behind a bolder and fell, that's all I remember."

Heads turned to Vala all bobbing in pity with the exception of Daniel who closed his eyes with a groan.

"That honkin' big gun was mowing them down there for a minute but then my ammo ran out. How'd that happen? I had six clips, used one. Explain that to me." Jack slammed his hands on his hips and glared around the group looking for sympathy which he quickly got from all but one.

Teal'c rubbed at his forehead, hesitating. "It is apparent that I was misled by a mere child who threw a stone rendering me unconscious."

"Ya don't say?" Jack gawked at the big guy in amazement.

"Damn! One shot. How the hell he do that, buddy?" Mitchell patted Teal'c on the shoulder.

"Wow." Was all Sam could muster, dumbfounded. "The DHD wouldn't engage the last symbol. I tried to hook up the laptop, but the wires shocked me and the dialing device lit up like the wheel of fortune and the laptop blew out. Strangest thing I ever saw."

Daniel crooked his mouth sideways then opened it to speak and closed it again without a word. The others were commiserating with Sam.

"Something's not right here." Daniel finally offered in explanation.

"Ya don't say, Professor!"

"Jack, I'm serious. When I was in the cave I picked up an artifact and headed out. Then the out became the in and the in the out, then I put it down, nothing happened. Then I went towards the out that was the in and I put it back and turned to head out...in and just like that," he snapped his fingers, "I was out and Vala was there unconscious at the mouth of the cave. I think this planet is cursed."

"Cursed!" Both Mitchell and Jack bellowed in unison.

"Holy Hannah, I'm outta here, I'm going to work on the DHD." Sam took off without another word.

"I will accompany you ColonelCarter." Teal'c hurried after her.

Jack stretched his arm out, finger pointing close to Daniel's face. "It's you, Daniel," he jabbed the finger closer, "It's you, you're cursed! It's the ascended thing, it all started when you went all white light and multi-armed."

"That's it! I'm going back to flyin'." Mitchell walked off trailing Teal'c and Sam.

Daniel's gaze went from Jack's finger to Vala. She gave a nervous little half smile and shrugged. "You didn't…I mean you're sure you didn't… somehow keep the necklace?" Her mouth dropped wide open. She started gesturing with her hands, waving them around, and then holding them stiff and back to waving. Finally she gave up, threw her arms up in defeat and stomped off towards the Stargate.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean it." All he got in response was a flip of her hair. "Vala, come back here. I'll tell you what Madame Dabo offered. You'll like it!" Jack was walking off when he turned around. "It's obviously a protected planet Jack, it's not really a curse, I used the wrong word."

"You?! You used the wrong word? I think not!" Jack's radio crackled, "Yeah?"

"The DHD is fine, I'm dialing, come on." Sam's voice came across a little snippy and Jack stared at the radio a minute before scowling back at Daniel. "Daniel, let's go."

"I am not cursed!" Daniel yelled after him. "It's not me! Jack? Jack!!"

END