Once he was back in Darius' palace Hephaestion locked himself in his rooms, eating and drinking just enough to keep the babe healthy.
"Meghr, it is me," Lutfi voice rang out.
Hephaestion got up and shuffled to the door, wiping tears away as he unlocked it. Upon seeing his charge in such a state, Lutfi rushed to set down the tray he had brought and then turned to inspect Hephaestion.
"What do you need?" he kept his voice low.
"A huge pomegranate and Alexander's stupid head on a stupid stake!" his voice filled with need and his eyes flashing with unspeakable anger.
Lutfi smiled gently, "Well, I can get you the pomegranate now and after I come back we can figure out what to do with Alexander's stupid head, all right?" Hephaestion nodded, "Go lay down, all of this emotion can't be good for the child."
Hephaestion shook his head, needing to walk off his anger and ease the knot in his lower back where the babe seemed to be resting. When Lutfi came back, he saw Hephaestion's pained expression and offered his services. Hephaestion accepted and stood with his head hung as Lutfi tried to give him some relief.
After thirty minutes with no change, Hephaestion began to cry yet again. Lutfi saw this and walked away, quickly preparing the bed so that Hephaestion could lay on his side as he did the massage. But Hephaestion shook his head at the offer.
"It's no use, Lutfi... Only one person can take my pain away, and since I pushed him away, I deserve this pain..."
"You deserve nothing of the sort. You did nothing wrong. Alexander just can't see that yet. He will though, trust me."
"How do you know? You do not know Alexander," Hephaestion looked up, and then walked to the window in the room that faced west, gazing out over the hot desert sand, toward Alexander.
"No, I do not. I know for a fact that feeling sorry when you have done something wrong is the way of humans. He will come around."
"I hope to the Gods you're right, Lutfi..." Hephaestion rested his head against the glass of the window, sighing.