Chapter X – Mega Flare

When those conceited meet and clash…

Tempers flare and turn to ash…

All because of one contact.

After speaking with the train conductor and apologizing profusely, Quistis watched as the unscathed train went on its way. The impact was so great that everything had blasted out of the train's path, so no cleanup was required at the scene for the train to continue its journey. The conductor assured her that someone would come by and tidy up the mess the following morning. It sounded unbelievable, but Quistis would rather believe it. Unfortunately, they did not have train tickets, thus the conductor could not give them a ride.

Seifer, who had been pretty silent throughout most of the ordeal, was more than amused. This small delay in their return trip could possibly mean more adventures and more time with his favorite Instructor. He didn't mind that at all. He heard Quistis mutter something under her breath. "What's that, Trepe? I can't hear you."

Quistis threw her hands up in the air. "'What do we need fuel for', you said! I think someone's judgment needs a significant upgrade! If you had listened to me in the first place, this would not have happened."

"Relax, Instructor. It's not like we're going to die out here," Seifer stated as he walked beside her.

"I certainly wouldn't mind if one of us does. That way, I wouldn't have to put up with you and your antics any longer."

Seifer continued teasing her. "Come now, Instructor. You don't mean that, do you? You can't tell me you've never laughed at any of my 'antics'."

She ignored him. "You know, Seifer, I've been quite tired lately, both mentally and physically, many thanks to you and Talman. I don't know what to do with you two. And to think I believed I could give myself a good night's rest tonight. It's highly doubtful we'll be even be back tonight if we have to walk this far."

"You don't have to walk." He stepped closer to her when she suddenly stopped and stood still.

"All right, I don't have to. So how will I get back to Garden? If I don't walk, then what happens?"

She was clearly trying to prove a point. Seifer smirked. He wouldn't let her. Her protests were cut short as Seifer literally swept her off her feet and began, once again, trotting across Lanker Plains toward the dimly lit town of Timber. One of his arms was under her knees and the other supported her back. He would enjoy it so much more if she would stop squirming and fuming.

"Seifer Almasy, what do you think you're doing? Put me down at once!"

"What does it look like? I'm doing your walking for you. My dear Instructor, you work too hard. Maybe you should let others take care of things once in a while." Something he said must have gotten through to her. She stayed quiet for some time as he kept walking.

Quistis crossed her arms. "Seifer, where are we going?" she finally asked.

"We're going to Timber to catch the next train back to Balamb so we don't have to walk the whole way. I'm surprised you didn't think of that sooner yourself, Instructor."

"I did think of it, but I neglected to bring travel expenses. I brought some, but not enough to cover a train ticket, so—"

"My treat."

The Instructor looked at him. "Do you always carry that much Gil around?"

"Habit. Besides, too much Gil is never a problem in an emergency."

"I'm impressed, Seifer. You were actually planning ahead?"

"Of course," he replied smugly. Little did she know that it was really just habit and nothing else, but since the Instructor was impressed for once, he didn't want to ruin it for himself. He didn't know why making an impression on her was such a big deal. He adjusted her weight and kept walking. "Hyne, Trepe, it'd be pretty nice if you lost a few pounds right about now."

She replied in an uninterested monotone. "Am I too heavy for you? I am so sorry." Seifer rolled his eyes at her sarcasm. "You can always put me down."

"No," he answered defiantly. "I like having a woman in my arms." Looking down on her form, he winked.

"Whatever you say, Irvine."

Great. Now he reminded her of that flirtatious cowboy. "I'm not Irvine. Great Hyne, Instructor." He bent his head down closer to hers and looked into her eyes. "We haven't even spent the night together and you've already forgotten my name? How rude." He shook his head as if he was ashamed of her behavior. Seifer thought he saw her blush, but it was dark and the only thing that provided any light at all was the waning crescent in the sky.

"Seifer, please move your eyes back to where they're supposed to be, because if you trip on something and I die, it will be your fault."

The retorts stopped momentarily when they reached Timber, where Quistis practically jumped out of his arms and into the train station. They walked up to the ticket booth. Quistis stood a little behind Seifer, wordlessly allowing him to take care of the costs.

"Good evening, sir," the uniformed teenager at the small booth greeted them. Peering behind the tall blond to see if there was anyone else with him, he spotted Quistis. Seifer didn't like the Trepie look in the boy's eyes. "And good evening to you, Miss." Quistis only smiled weakly and nodded. Her smile faded when Seifer snaked his arm around her waist, a possessive gesture for which Quistis wanted to give him detention. Seifer paid for two tickets and led Quistis toward the platform where the train to Balamb Town was ready and waiting, but not before shooting the young man a look that plainly said, "She's out of your league."

After the train departed from the station, Quistis and Seifer sat quietly in the SeeD cabin, each thinking about their own problems, occasionally talking to each other when they felt like it.

"Seifer, don't you have homework you should be doing?"

"What homework?"

She sighed, agitated. "Hyne, don't tell me you weren't listening, Seifer."

"Fine, I won't tell you." There was a pause until Quistis crossed her arms and stared at him, seemingly impatient. "…What?"

"I'm waiting." The indignant tone she used was both pleasing and displeasing to him.

"Waiting for what, Instructor?" he asked, his voice full of pseudo-innocence.

"Waiting for you to ask me about the assignment you didn't hear about, so that you can complete it over the weekend and have it on my desk by Monday!" she exclaimed, her voice steadily increasing in pitch as the sentence went on. She had hoped to finally knock some sense into him but all he did was chuckle. "I fail to see the humor, Seifer. This is your last chance to become a SeeD, you know that."

All hilarity disappeared from his eyes and they glazed over with an odd emotion Quistis had never seen before. He turned away from her and whispered, "I know."

"If you know, then why do you act like you don't care? Honestly, Seifer…" She sighed. "I worry about you."

"I don't need anyone to worry about me, Trepe. Maybe you should learn how to take care of yourself first."

"How do you expect me to focus on myself when the people around me need my help?"

"And who said they needed your help?" He looked at her now, angry.

Quistis tried to remain calm. "Seifer…it's not like everyone can get by on their own, you know?" Her own words sounded too familiar in her ears.

Scoffing, he added bitterly, "In a world like this, all anyone can depend on are themselves. They may as well learn now while they still can."

She gave up and there was silence again. There was no way she could get through that thick skull of his. Not now, in her particularly exhausted state. Her uncontrollable yawning caught Seifer's attention.

"Tired, Instructor?" His question was cold, much like the temperature of the cabin. Or maybe Quistis was imagining it. Not wanting to spare the energy to speak, she admitted defeat with a nod and drooping eyelids. "Go to sleep. It'll be a good hour before we get to our stop." The train ran over a wobbly part of the tracks and Seifer suddenly felt a light weight on his arm.

Quistis had taken up his suggestion and was already sleeping soundly, using his arm as a pillow. This is just great, he told himself. Now you can't move because you'll wake her up, and if you wake her up, she'll be furious.

If he was going to be sitting like this for the rest of the trip, then he wanted to make himself more comfortable. Lady Luck was on his side, because the train was evidently going over a bumpy part of the journey. If Quistis woke up while he was adjusting his posture, he could always blame it on the train. Sighing, he shifted himself carefully into a more comfortable position. Seifer thought he had everything under control, but when the train jolted severely without warning, Lady Luck disappeared and Quistis's motionless form bounced, slipping off the seat. Swearing, Seifer quickly coiled an arm around her waist and propped her back up beside him. He dared himself to look at her and was relieved to find that she was still asleep.

Hmm, she must be beyond tired, he concluded with his arm still around her, holding the Instructor in place. Basic training should've kicked in and woken her up by now.

Taking a deep breath, Seifer relaxed and looked around the SeeD cabin, trying to find something that will keep himself entertained. There was nothing. The only thing he found was that he couldn't keep his mind off of the woman next to him. Alone and lonely, Seifer let his guard down for the moment as he watched her sleep. She wouldn't be this tired if it weren't for me. He felt slightly guilty. Maybe I shouldn't have come with her. Maybe I shouldn't have come back at all. Tearing his eyes away from her, he thought about what she said.

"I fail to see the humor, Seifer. This is your last chance to become a SeeD, you know that."

Quistis was right. There was nothing funny about any of this. He knew it was his last chance, knew it better than anyone. She knew that he knew. The written exam was not an issue, but the field exam…every time he failed was because he refused to do what he was told, and when he led teams, he made brash decisions.

He understood now, what he did wrong, but never figured out why he did those things. Must be his personality, he supposed. Even as a young child, he possessed a healthy supply of hubris, but what good did that ever do? Sure, it gave him more than enough aspiration to fulfill a childhood dream, but in the end, it was all a lie. But he hadn't done it willingly – not completely, anyway. He was cozened into the whole ordeal by a simple insult.

That appalling Sorceress had called him a boy.

Ultimecia had been right. Back then, he had been a boy. The way he retorted her criticisms had been immature, he admitted. Thinking back on it now, he couldn't believe himself. If he hadn't taken those comments so personally, he may not have followed her. He would have stayed…would have stayed with Quistis, when she told him not to leave…

.

..

...

"Such a confused little boy," her words mocked him, striking a note of ridicule into his head. "Are you going to step forward? Retreat? You have to decide."

Seifer's grip on Hyperion tightened. The bizarre woman stood before him, she alone looking more important than the president he still held hostage. But familiar as the woman was, she had no right to talk to him like this. "Stay back!" he barked. He was about to continue, but—

"Seifer!"

Sensing Quistis's presence in the small room, he paused. He knew it was her; there was no need to turn around. He couldn't possibly—

With a sly smile, the woman snapped a finger and cast a strong Shell on the unaided Instructor, confining her within an invisible box, nearly immobile. Inside the spell, Quistis's words were barely audible: "Stay where you are, Seifer! Don't listen to her!"

Quistis's words rushed to his ears, no more than a whisper. The other woman began again.

"The boy in you is telling you to come. The adult in you is telling you to back off." She laughed at him. "You can't make up your mind. You don't know the right answer. You want help, don't you? You want to be saved from this predicament."

"Shut up!" he shouted, grinding his teeth. How was it possible? It was like she read his mind. But—

"Don't be ashamed to ask for help. Besides, you're only a little boy."

"I'm not…stop calling me a boy." He had had enough. She was as haughty as he. Not only was she marring his pride, but she was also humiliating him in front of President Deling and Quistis. He was no boy. He was manlier than anyone he knew. He wasn't a little boy anymore…not anymore…

"You don't want to be a boy anymore?" she spoke, fake sympathy lining the question to which she already knew the answer.

"I am not a BOY!" The mind games…he wanted her to stop. A Sorceress…this woman must be a Sorceress.

The lady nodded gravely with narrowed eyes. Her voice seemed to pull at his body. "Come with me to a place of no return. Bid farewell to your childhood." Their eyes made contact and Seifer's anger gave way to fear for a fraction of a second. Her cold, greenish-gold eyes beckoned him. Seifer, frustrated, released the president, who scampered away like a scared puppy.

No. He won't run away. He'd prove he wasn't a child. To become a Knight…wasn't that his romantic dream?

Romantic dream…

He fought the incredible urge to look back upon his Instructor. Shuffling towards the woman, he saw her smile wickedly. With every step he took, his head ached. So badly that he wanted to turn back.

No, he couldn't. He was a man. Not a little boy. How dare she call him a little boy?

Seifer heard footsteps. Squall, Selphie, and Zell had joined them in the small room. Hearing yet another snap, he assumed she had cast a spell on them also. Looking at each of them one by one, his gaze finally landed on Quistis. He could see her trying to shake her head. As their eyes made contact, Seifer found it difficult to break away.

His eyes said farewell, then hardened, while hers continued to look upon him with a helplessness Seifer had never seen in her. She uttered words so quiet, that he thought it was only his imagination.

"…Seifer…no…come back…"

He couldn't stand it. Hiding his emotions behind a cruel mask as he willed himself to wave to everyone, he turned and followed the Sorceress through the black hole that had appeared beside them. The last thing he heard was a muffled cry. A woman, screaming.

"Seifer!"

...

..

.

His eyes shot open and he felt sweat on his forehead. No…don't think about that anymore. He found himself a little short of breath and became aware of how tightly he had been holding on to Quistis during his reminiscing. Thanking Hyne he hadn't awakened her, he calmed down and relaxed his grip. Slowly, he placed his eyes on her.

She tried…she tried to stop me…

He knew now (too late), that he was her favorite student. He was ashamed. If only he had listened to her, none of this would have happened. And all those years where he had been with her in Garden, studying with her, and studying under her…

He thought she never cared.

Overwhelmed by this discovery, he felt something surge through him. Seifer reached out to her with a trembling hand and swept away a strand of her hair obstructing his view of her fair face. He wished he could take back everything he had said and done to her, but what's done cannot be undone, that much he knew. This same guilt always lingered in his mind.

Seifer breathed a sigh. He was kidding himself, surely. She might have cared for him then, but now… He had tried to hurt her, after all. There was no reason for her to be any less cold to him than she was. Hyne, if he had tried to kill himself, he'd hate himself, too. But then he realized…he already did.

Do you mean you already hate yourself? Or that you've already killed yourself?

It was hard to distinguish between the two as he craned his neck to rest his head on hers.