Author's note: The original had pictures and dank memes but the format changes when I post it on here :/ Oh well.
Kyle didn't even want to think about what Bebe had just sent him. His mind was still reeling as he picked up his phone. He then noticed a text from Kenny.
Kenny: Hey babe. Are you doing okay?
Kyle took a breath through his nose before texting back: Fuck you. Don't text me again.
He felt so stupid for giving Kenny the benefit of the doubt. He even ruined his friendship with Stan over some horny idiot that was only looking for another hole to fuck. Well Kyle was not going to be his next victim and he was not going to let Kenny think he was easy. He begrudgingly decided to read Stan's texts and listen to the voicemail he left barely even 30 minutes ago.
Stan: Ur a piece of shit! A low donw peice of shit. U dertyoed owr frienship over getting laid! U cud hv just fucked me!
Stan: I HATE U
Stan: R U leavin for gud?
Stan: Whore! Hw mani ohter dudes hac u been fuckin!
Stan: Answer me!
Stan: I bet u r wiht him rite now huh?
Stan: Kyle! Pleese cum bakc
Stan: I haet u u pece of shit!
Stan: I love you Kyle.
Kyle took a deep breath and laid back on his bed. He listened to the voicemail, Stan's speech was slurred and he sounded as if he was crying: Kyle...Kyle come back. I'm sorry. I should have never acted that way. I just...it hurts so bad. You mean so fuckin much to me. I can't stand to see you with him. I can't fuckin take Kyle. I FUCKING HATE IT! Kyle don't do this. We can still be friends Kyle. We can still work this out...I bet you're not answerin because you're busy fuckin him again...What's so good about him? I mean he hardly ever fuckin talks! I never have seen you hang out with him outside of school and now this!? This feels like a sick and twisted dream. Fuck.
Kyle let out a sigh before deleting the message. He'd deal with Stan's bullshit later. He was startled by a call coming in from Kenny. He rejected the call and turned over to calm his mind. His phone rung again but now it was Craig. Kyle answered it resentfully,''Hello.''
''What the fuck is going on now!?''
''Ask Kenny.''
''Kenny just got through talking to me. He's pissed at the post Bebe made and just wants to talk to you. He says it was all a lie Kyle. Do you honestly think Kenny could cheat on you?''
Kyle sighed and said softly,''I don't know what to believe anymore.''
''Just get some rest, I'll tell Kenny to give you space.''
Kyle heard his facebook dinging like crqazy and decided to see what was going on. Kenny and Bebe had got into a long facebook war about a status she posted about fucking him and Red was backing her up. Of coarse Cartman was fanning the flames. Kyle sighed and realised it was on his relationship status change that Kenny had made 5 hours ago.
Kyle Brofvoski and Kenny McCormick are in a relationship.
Comments
Butters Stotch: Congrats! :D
Tweak Tweek: Cute!
Craig Tucker: I ship it.
Stan Marsh: ¬_¬
Wendy Testaburger: Congrats
Eric Cartman: EW GROSS! FUCKIN FAGS!
Wendy Testaburger: Shut up and let them be happy fatass!
Butters: Yeah!
Bebe Stevens: Soooo Kenny you just gonna ignore the fact that you've been fucking me for 3 years? ¬_¬
Cartman: OH SHIT!
Stan Marsh: I don't doubt it. Probably been fucking Red and random sewer rats as well ¬_¬
Craig: Stan you are such a petty and bitter ass sore loser. Get over it! You lost your chance.
Stan: ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮
Craig: Really fuckin mature Marsh.
Red: Kenny you have a lot of nerve for posting this shit. I don't know when you started this but you just seem like a confused and compulsive liar to me.
Stan: Tru
Kenny: Bebe. We haven't fucked in a year...and Red you only gave me head once. STFU. This drama is unnessary and mostly made up.
Cartman: Yeah. Sure it is.
Ike Broflovski: Wot in tarnation!?
Craig: Kenny just ignore them man. Also Stan how are you seeing this post? You blocked him...
Stan: -_-
Kenny: Oh. So you unblocked me to send me passive agressive emojis...
Cartman: XD
Bebe: I'm exposing you for the lying piece of shit that you are! Good luck dating that ugly ass Jewish fuck
Stan: Excuse you bitch. Now that's something we definately disagree on. You come at Kyle, you come at me!
Kenny: Except when Kyle chooses to fuck someone that's not you.
Stan Marsh: You don't deserve him.
Kenny Mccormick: Why don't you just go, get drunk, and have a pity party like always.
Stan Marsh: Already am bitch.
Kenny Mccormick: Then why are you typing so well.
Stan Marsh: Spellcheck. Kyle, leave him. You belong with me.
Kenny Mccormick: Seriously fuck off Stan Marsh! First you blow up my phone and send me a bunch of jumbled up texts and now you're stalking me on facebook. Just give up! And why doesn't your dumbass have spell check on your phone!?
Stan Marsh: Me and Kyel were ment to be. Fuckin spell check sucks.
*Kyle
*Meant
Kenny Mccormick: Well I keep him very satisied if you know what I mean. Something that I doubt you could do.
Butters Stotch: Oh gee...What does that mean?
Kyle Broflovski: KILL ME!
Kyle Broflovski: Delete this.
Ike Brovfloski: I have to clean my eyes out with bleach now
Kyle: Go to bed Ike.
Ike Broflovski: ._. I need bleach for my eyes!
Butters Stotch: So it's a sex thing?
Gerald Broflovski: What the hell is this!?
Randy Marsh: ¬_¬ I blame your fag son
Gerald Marsh: Says the man that jacked me off in a jaccuzzi once.
Cartman: I AM FUCKING DEAD! I CAN NOT BREATHE! THIS IS THE BEST POST ON ALL OF FACEBOOK 10/10 Can't get any better than this!
Stan: Ew dad gross!
Randy: Says the boy that wants to guzzle Kyle's nut juice.
Cartman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I AM FUCKING DECEASED! SOMEBODY COME AND RESESTITATE ME!
Sharon Marsh: Randal! That is no way to talk to your son! Get off of facebook now! You're supposed to be out shopping with me today!
Sheila Brovfloski: WHAT IN GOD'S NAME! GERALD!
Craig Tucker: Okay...so Stan and Kyle's dad are fucking eachother...I could have lived a very long life without that image in my head...
Gerald Broflovski: Fucking is an exaggeration. Just experimented like once...that was years ago. You guys were like in kindergarten or first grade.
Ike Brovfloski: OH DAMN!
Randy Marsh: No! That's not true! I am not gay!
Kenny: This post...was a mistake...
And like that the post was gone but the relationship status stayed the same. Kyle took a deep breath as he heard Sheila screaming to the top of her lungs and Ike laughing in the other room. It didn't take long before they heard the door bell ring. Kyle hoped beyond hope that it wasn't Stan. He opened the door to reveal a very drunk Stan, to his dismay, Stan fell into his arms and was speaking gibberish''Damn it Stan!''
A/N: I am so sorry that this chapter is such a jumbled up mess now :/