dEfEcTiVe?

"Miserable. All of them. And nothing more!" The teacher hissed as she slammed down the book, causing the class to jump in their seats. Half terrified, half waking up from the fright.

Zim blinked up at the woman, furrowing his brow slightly. He wasn't even on the right page, really. He didn't catch the number, so he just opened to a random place at the start of class - landing on some story about human bodily systems that he couldn't care less about.

Once deeming his surroundings safe, his gaze fell back onto the tablet he held beneath the desk, typing away. His native language flew over the screen, the alien's fingers pressing in several places. A look of disturbance twisted his face.

If he was being honest, he wasn't doing so well. His base was in absolute shambles - his computer was malfunctioning, his power core kept shutting down, his experiments were all escaped or dead, his parental units were busted - err, more than usual - and the TV was beyond repair, so Gir had nothing to keep him out of trouble. In other words… his base was a hot mess… but he couldn't miss anymore days of skool! The human filthies around him would start to get suspicious! And Dib! Dib…

He turned his head, lavender lenses settling on the human to his far left. The child wasn't paying much attention himself, rather, he was doodling… no doubt something related to Zim's end. He did not realize how long he was staring until -

"ZIM!" Miss Bitters snapped over him.

The alien shrieked, his tablet flying and hitting a child in the head. He grimaced, looking back to seek where it had disappeared to, but their frightening teacher was lurking, and he reluctantly looked up at her with a questioning gaze, remaining in his seat. "Eh?!" he shouted in return.

"You're not on the right page! This isn't even our English book!" she hissed. "Where is your book?!"

The alien's eyes widened, briefly peeking at the textbook cover to verify that, indeed, it was a book on Health, pictures of who knows what organs all over the spread. He blinked hard, realization hitting him. "Ehn… Zim simply left it in his… eh.. locker!" he claimed with a point. "Yes! Oh, woe is Zim, and his poor reading skills!" he dramatically pressed the back of his hand to his forehead.

"Pretty strange for someone in the fifth grade," Dib just had to chime in a few desks down.

The statement brought a fire to the Irken's eyes, and so the usual showdown began - a bolt connecting their gazes. "Plenty of normal human smeet worms still struggle to read at this age, Dib-dolt!" he launched.

"Yeah, maybe if they're alien morons who don't actually speak English as their first language," the child fired right back, raising an eyebrow in smug challenge.

The alien growled, kicking his legs beneath the desk in frustration. "SILENCE, EARTH-PIG!" he cried. "YOU HAVE NO PROOF! NONE!" he pointed viciously.

At this point, their teacher had backed off, simply watching, along with the rest of the class - as if this was their form of entertainment.

"You wanna bet?!" Dib pointed right back. "I analyzed that weird jelly liquid you used to bathe in my bathroom the other week!"

To this, the class questioned in unison.

Dib ignored them, grinning at his Irken nemesis. "It has alien written ALL over it! When the test results get out, you'll never find a place to hide, space scum!"

The Irken's brow furrowed, drooping slightly. "Eh? I thought you drained it! Err - I mean - YOU LIE!" he screeched.

"Oh, really?!" Dib spat. "Tell that to the camera footage I have of of you using that same stuff in your shower!" he leered.

The statement made the class go dead silent, and the alien only stared, confusion taking over. He looked around in wonder before his squinting eyes landed back on his rival, mouth hanging open slightly.

Finally realizing what he had just blurted out into the open, Dib stiffened, attention falling on his fellow students. His face heated in shame from the many eyes, glancing back to his rival before he cast his gaze down.

Sitting there for an awkward moment longer, he simply packed his things up, standing as he slung his backpack over a shoulder, and hanging his head. "I know. Counselor's office," he quickly spoke, strides wide and rushed. The door was quick to shut behind him.

This left the classroom in a tense silence, students giving each other looks of bewilderment… some girls giggling in Zim's direction.

The Irken scowled slightly from the sounds, eyes averting.

He hummed before hissing his frustrations, knocking his gloved fist against his temple. He was trying to reassemble his computer's coding, but that filthy power core kept glitching, and making him lose his progress! Grrr!

He waved the recurring tickle away, scowling up at a butterfly, of all things, that would not leave him alone. He battled it with a death glare, though the thing just fluttered its way back to his head, landing once again. He clenched his zipper teeth, eye twitching. He dropped the tablet to claw furiously, screeching at the airborne worm.

Dib stared at the scene from across the courtyard, lifting a brow. Zim's been more agitated than usual. Obviously from his base still being a wreck, and their recent… partnership. He could leave the alien alone, to cool down… Key word, 'could'.

The child let out a devilish giggle, making his way through running children. He had to duck from a basketball, and jump over a child that had fallen asleep in the middle of hockey, but he carried on, target in sight.

The alien, tired out from the one-sided battle, threatened the bug with a last hiss before returning to his tablet. Filthy, little - !

"That was sad," a familiar voice scoffed.

Zim pressed his lips together, eye twitching from the figure of his nemesis approaching. He gave the child a look, a tickle making itself known once again. Still, the Irken suddenly smirked. "Not as sad as the state of your misshapen face," he jabbed, lifting his chin up. He turned his body away, bringing his tablet with him as his shoulder pressed into the bark of the towering tree.

And, predictably, the child crossed his arms with a huff. "Well, my sister wasn't exactly happy about us touching her clothes!" he pointed. "You should have taken the beating! I wasn't the one who wore them, anyway!"

"Yes, yes, that's nice," the alien waved him away. "Go sulk elsewhere, swollen meat-sac," he had to prod, a cattish grin tugging his lips.

The alien gasped as his tablet was ripped right out from his grasp, eyes following where it was thrown - over the electric fence, into the street… and a car just so happened to run over it!

Zim's jaw dropped, blinking hard as he stood in bewilderment. His lid twitched, and he turned back to the child to let out a horrifying screech.

Dib waited, a simple smirk taking over. After the Irken was left panting, he opened his mouth, "Are you done?"

The alien recovered his vocal cords, growling, chest expanding and falling. He pointed menacingly in the child's face, taking dangerous steps towards him. "Zim will have your HEAD - on a STAKE - and FORCE YOU TO EAT IT THROUGH YOUR SPINE!" he screamed, clawing at his green face and eyes.

Dib blinked, scratching at the back of his head. "Uhm… Okay," he looked away momentarily. "You do that. Until then…" he grew a tantalizing leer. "How's your base holding up, space boy?"

The alien seethed to himself, lips pursing in an ugly scowl. "Zim is not in the mood for your filthy brain meats today," he made clear, ditching his spot by the tree, butterfly hitching a ride once again.

Watching the alien move, Dib was quick to follow, sneering as he caught up on Zim's right. "Uh huh. And, what was that about a translator, Zim?" He switched to the left. "Do all Irkens use them? What does Irken sound like? Is Zim your English name? How do you say your name in Irken? How old is your language? Do Irkens speak different languages on your home planet? Can you say my name in Irken?"

"Slave," the alien simply responded, which awarded him a small shove. He stumbled a bit, though could not contain the grin. He fixed his wig, marching alongside the fence, hands behind his back. "I do not care how many questions you ask, fleshy Dib-thing, you will not get an answer from Zim~" he sang, smirking his way.

"I don't have to ask much," Dib pointed out. "You tell me eventually, anyway."

Zim made a face from that. "I do not!"

"Do, too!"

"Do not!"

"Do, too!"

"Uhm - hi?"

Their heads snapped in the fence's direction, creature in cloak just on the other side. Dib scowled a bit, the Irken hiding slightly behind him.

"Do you want this back?" Zephyr held up the broken tablet. "A car just - "

"STEALING, AGAIN?!" the Irken hissed.

Dib covered his right ear, clenching his teeth. "Geez, Zim!"

The notion made the alien stare, and he gave a smug smile, gently covering the child's damaged ear and hand before he roared past the fence again, "ZIM COMMANDS THAT YOU RETURN IT! THROW IT OVER!"

"I'm right here," Zephyr furrowed his brow, cringing from the shout.

"NOW, SLUDGE-BAG!"

"Okay, okay!" the creature of night tossed the machinery. "You could thank me, you know!"

The Irken snatched the cracked tablet from the air, looking it over suspiciously. Wig shifting, he glared back at the vampire. "Thank you? THANK you?!" he hissed. "ZIM'S BASE IS IN RUINS BECAUSE OF YOU!" he shouted at the top of his spooch, but was quick to cover after peeking at the children within their vicinity, "Eh! I mean, PERFECTLY NORMAL HOUSE! Yes."

Dib crossed his arms, cheeks puffing as he gave the vampire a scrutinizing glance. "Yeah, and you have some nerve showing up after what you put me through! I had to babysit Zim's horrible robots, and Gir vomits a lot! Am I not stressing that enough?! A LOT. I've never SEEN so much vomit in my adolescent life!"

"Well, Zim had to breathe in sickening DIB-stench for days on end!"

"I had to bleach my eyes from seeing Zim in my sister's clothes!"

"ZIM was confined to a dark, spooky dungeon - with a messy floor!"

"I almost died trying to save this alien jerk!"

"Zim was traumatized by the Dib's browser history!"

"I had to sleep with a - !" The child did a double take. "Huh?!" Dib snapped, face turning all kinds of red.

Zephyr furrowed his brow at the two, frown deeply implanted as he raised a finger. "Uhm - Actually, when you were trying to kill me, your robot was the one who - "

"You went through my computer?!" Dib attacked.

"You go through mine!" Zim cried.

"That's totally different!" the child hissed.

"Is not!"

"Is, too!"

"Is not!"

"Is, TOO!"

Zephyr stood there as they went at it back and forth, lifting a brow. Eventually, he walked away from the debate, sighing heavily. He didn't really get to add his defense in there, but, oh well. If the two were in the same breathing space, it was impossible to reason with them, let alone talk to them.

Maybe it was best to approach them one-on-one… but, Zim was so defensive, and Dib was too… Dibbish! How in the world was he supposed to get through to either of them?

Zephyr tapped at his cracked lip, biting his knuckle. Somehow, he felt he had a better chance of just leaving Dib out of it. The child was all kinds of messed up, and he usually seemed to be the dictator, ironically, when Zim was involved. Even though the Irken yelled and half of his input didn't make much sense, it was easier, in some way, to talk to him. But, maybe that was because he was an alien, and aliens were kind of…

He furrowed his brow, scratching at his head. He didn't quite know how he was going to finish that sentence. Naïve, maybe?

Regardless, it seemed in his best interest to go after the source, rather than to step around it and watch from the sidelines. Things were about to get… a little out of his comfort zone.

He waited from afar, peeking through the bushes - the Irken was walking with his nemesis again, along with Dib's sister. The girl seemed a lot more content after they had visited this pizza pig restaurant place for a while. They were there for hours, it seemed, long enough for the sun to have set behind the clouds.

Again, if Zim despised humans as much as he said he did, what was he doing hanging around them?

Zephyr blinked as he narrowed his eyes through the twigs and leaves. Gaz had gone inside the house, however, the two enemies were idling in the doorway. What could they be talking about?

He tried to listen, but a few cars were all it took to drown them out, tires splashing through puddles as it gently rained. He peeked again, and Dib was handing over his ghost pattern umbrella - the alien studying it for a long time with a face full of confusion.

The child was just about closing the door with a nonchalant wave, but then he stopped as the alien spoke again to him.

Just as he thought they were saying their goodbyes, Zephyr almost felt his hair bristle as Dib suddenly joined the alien again, reclaiming the umbrella. Ugh! No! He was going to walk Zim home!

Zephyr groaned, eyes rolling in dismay. Did they ever have time away from each other?

The alien was careful to walk around puddles, his nemesis following with the umbrella. Surprisingly, no words were exchanged. They were just… walking through the rain, peace between them… if only temporary.

The vampire stalked after them once they were far enough, dipping behind streetlights and garbage cans, sometimes using moving cars to conceal his splashes.

No matter how many times he debated with himself, he still couldn't quite pinpoint their relationship. It was like they were friends, almost, that could never see eye-to-eye. But, they were fighting over the Earth, all the same - as Dib said, some big, bad alien race is supposed to wipe out this planet, someday. He hoped that it would be the answer to his whole 'defying death' problem. Or, maybe he needed to head to a farmer's market and start downing their garlic. Maybe the lore was wrong. Maybe vampires needed to eat garlic to die… How did someone even come up with the whole garlic weakness thing, anyway? Why not a watermelon, or something?

He shook his head of the thoughts, refocusing on his target - but they were nowhere in sight! He ran ahead in the direction he knew the enemies to go in to get to Zim's house - however, when he glanced down the road, he did not catch a glance of them anywhere.

His brow scrunched, eyes darting around. They always went this way. Where could they have…?

Dib glanced back, victorious smirk on his lips. He walked with the Irken beside him, holding the umbrella close. He briefly eyed the alien before looking away again. "So, uh, how long do you think it'll take you to fix up your base?"

The Invader gave him a glance over, judging for mockery. Not finding any, he pulled his eyes away. "Shorter than you think, miserable human," he adopted a wicked gleam.

"Good luck with that," Dib gave him a sneer. "I know where your power core is, now. Should be simple enough to just waltz in past your gnomes and sabotage whatever you fix," he leaned with a smugness to him.

Zim furrowed his brow before he grew a nasty smile. "Unlikely. Chances are, you have no clear recollection of where you were going through that horrid mess, stink-meat."

"Well, I know your base well enough to find it again, at least," Dib shot back. "I'm sure your robot wouldn't have a problem with letting me in," he grew a false smile.

Despite the threat, the alien could not help but bite his lip with a mischievous glance, giddy with adrenaline. "I don't think so, Dib-worm."

"Oh, I know so, space boy~" he went shoulder-to-shoulder with him, unable to contain his evil snickers. "All you do is give him food, or… something like food, and he's your best friend," he finished on a high note, rubbing it in, quite literally as he dug his shoulder into the Irken's, growling almost playfully.

Zim immediately gripped at the arm to calm it. "I don't like you," he simply put. Despite this, the alien's arm slowly hooked around the human's, and he clutched at the umbrella with his other hand, aiding to guide it. "You grow more and more grotesque every day. Zim cannot remember the last time I looked at you and did not wish to vomit his brain meats through his eyes," the alien's gaze shifted towards the high beams that flew past them - water splashing. He flinched away from the road, gripping at the black sleeve tighter.

Dib stumbled a bit from the tug, regaining their balance. "That's nice," he mumbled, guiding them around a deep puddle. His eyes took in the wet sidewalk - the rippled reflection of him staring back. His focus went to the gloved hand at his upper arm, then to the alien who owned it.

To think that the Irken was just begging for his life a few days ago. The alien bounced back at a tremendous rate. From his death bed to scouring for danger, looking everywhere but at him.

The human chewed on his lip, trying to focus ahead. He blinked hard behind his glasses. He took a deep breath, nerves attempting to calm. "Were you actually dead?" he blurted.

The alien gave his nemesis an incredulous glance, eyes narrowing and physically seeking information. "Ehn? Err, of course not!" he stood tall, though his posture collapsed as he nearly stumbled into a puddle, hissing from the rough tug to dodge his demise. He growled, releasing the umbrella to fix his wig, shooting the child a glare. "And I will certainly not speak of it, worm-beast. Zim is not stupid," he sneered.

Dib looked him over before making sure to focus on his task. "Well, you kinda are." He led them around another deep puddle, boots making small splashes. He looked back up to the Irken, eyes travelling over the wig and skin.

He finally got to touch those weird alien feelers of his. He's tried to multiple times in the past, but the Irken always seemed to dodge and push him away. He gave him this look of scrutiny, and offense, almost. Well, that was kind of expected. The Irken was a germaphobe.

He wanted to learn more about them, though. Well, he wanted to learn everything he could about the alien. Call it psychotic, obsession, whatever. But how many people can say that they know a living, breathing alien? Only one!

Dib quickly searched their surroundings through the downpour, seeking vampires and gingers on their trail. "Uhm… Has Zephyr ever... tried anything before?"

"Who?"

The child nearly face palmed. "Seriously, Zim? How hard is it to remember someone's name?!"

"Oh, very difficult, if they are unimportant. Are they unimportant?"

"Well, he caused us to nearly DIE," Dib punched the word, giving the alien a look of intense scrutiny. "You know, cloak? Pointy hair?"

Zim seemed to process for an extended minute, face twitching before a fire raged in his lenses. "He will not have pointy hair for very long! Once Zim is through with him, he will have nothing left on his dead, germy head! NOTHIIING!"

Dib cringed from the volume, keeping his head low behind the collar. "You think maybe we should.. y'know, work together again? I mean, you hate him… I hate him…" The child tried to smoothly reason to his alien nemesis, eyes lifting again.

He was met with a ticked glower. "Zim does not care for your little, amateur team proposal," he sneered. "I wish to get Zephler out of the way, but I refuse to do so working with you! Every single time we work together, we end up more miserable than before!" he hissed.

Dib rubbed at the back of his head. "I guess. But, when's the last time we actually teamed up? Keef?"

A visible shudder passed through the alien. "Yes, and I still despise you for it!"

"Hey! It was your head-popping stuff or whatever! Like always, your inventions never work!"

"Oh, surely the least of Zim's worries! I hope to never have to go through such a tragedy ever again! Being friendly," his face morphed in revulsion. "Despicable pleasantries."

"Come on, working together isn't that bad."

"Oh, it is. So much so, in fact, that I'd rather falsely claim your head be of normal size standards before I would even think about working with you again," he sneered, seeking opposition.

"We work together in biology every class! You even cheated off of my test that one time!"

"Ah, yes, but do not forget that the test result was horrendous!"

"That's because the teacher failed you for cheating, you moron! You went to detention for it!"

Zim squinted through the rain, the green glow of his base coming into view as they turned into the cul de sac. "Hmnn… No, I am pretty certain that I was given detention that day because of setting our table on fire," he tapped at his lip. "Or was it a child?"

"No, Zim," Dib deadpanned. "That had nothing to do with what I just said. And yeah, it was a kid. More specifically, their hair. The skool board almost suspended you."

"Suspended...?" the Irken tried on his tongue, eyes cast away momentarily. Suddenly, they snapped back. "A public death?"

"Uh, no," Dib gave him a look as they approached the fence, stopping at the mailbox. "Just forget it."

"Do not tell Zim what to do!" he snapped, swinging open the small door. "I'll forget it on my own." The alien paused to stare inside the metal box, blinking wide.

Dib furrowed his brow, head pushing at Zim's to peer inside. He then burst out laughing, a frightening clap of thunder coming from somewhere above. "Does he ever leave you alone?!"

The alien growled as he swiped the gift box out, slamming the door behind it. "You do not understand, Dib-worm! The child never stops! NEVER!" he cried, just as the box was snatched. "Hey!"

"What? You want Keef's gift?" Dib narrowed his eyes. "It's probably just more candy, or something stupid like that."

The Irken pouted, puffing out his cheeks as his rival took to opening his mail. "Certainly something like that," he marched with the human through his yard, gnomes' gazes following them.

Dib's mouth twisted in mockery as he removed Keef's gift - a pig plush! "Is this a stuffed animal? Pfft!" he laughed it off. "Why does he even bother with this stuff?!"

The Irken's eyes fell over the plush, and they lit up - but only for a second, because its head was torn from its body by his nemesis's hands. The alien twitched, scowling a bit to himself, then shook his head. "Yes, how… disgusting!" he raised his volume. "And - I demand that you take it away and burn it!" he stepped up, now having inches on the human. He turned around, waving a hand in dismissal. "And go home, Dib-beast. Before Gir uses your legs for a rolling pin."

Dib lifted a brow, but decided against questioning. "Well, okay. But just this once!"

"Welcome h-h-home, s-son!" the parental units twitched and spluttered.

Zim sneered as the human pointed at him menacingly, the child backing up with caution.

"But when you least expect it, I'll be back! You can count on it, lizard!"

"Stink-meat!"

"Space bug!"

"Dib-human!"

"Zim-Irken!" the child mocked.

This just made the alien smirk with dark amusement. He watched, crossing his arms as he leaned in the doorway, rain separating them.

Zephyr stared from the bushes, furrowing his brow. His eyes went to the alien, then to the human, then back. Were they… having some sort of mental conversation, or something? Why in the world were they just… standing there?

The vampire's gaze dropped to the gift box in Dib's hand, eyes squinting. They had retrieved it from Zim's mailbox… so, why had Dib taken it, then?

And why on Earth did they walk each other home?! Zephyr fumed from the questions he sent out into the void, forever burning at the back of his mind. Well, as soon as Dib was gone, he would try to talk to the alien, himself.

So, he waited - and the showdown between the two rivals lasted for a painfully extended minute. Though, Dib finally made a move, sending a smug smile as he took his leave, ghost-pattern umbrella protecting him.

When the vampire looked back towards the men's door, he found the alien still watching - posture slackened a bit, and eyes distant as they followed their rival out of the cul de sac.

And even as the child disappeared, the Irken remained still. He seemed to just.. look out into the rain with an almost haunting stare. His sparking, robotic parents wheeled around in the background, going about their madness, limbs popping off and combusting.

And suddenly, the Irken glanced towards him.

Zephyr gasped, ducking back into the bushes. He sat there in his crouch, eyes wide. How did the alien even notice him? It's not like he was making noise, or anything! He was so freaky, sometimes.

When he thought it safe enough to move from his spot, the vampire peered back up over the bush to glance towards the alien's door - yet it was shut, now. The Irken must have turned in for the night. Good. However, he would have to reawaken the alien's presence when he -

An irregular pulse - something… foreign was behind him. He could hear the faint mechanical beeps from deep within a metallic shell - small clicks of a throat, the burning of an intense stare on the back of his neck.

He swallowed hard, daring to turn. A wicked crackle of sound and light pierced the sky above them. The Irken's dark gaze struck a nerve deep inside him, feeling his deteriorated heart sink.

"You dare show yourself again so soon?" he hissed, wig draped over his forehead from the rain. Droplets streaked and dripped from his chin, sleeves and gloves spotted with wet.

Zephyr's jaw dropped like he had something to say, but the very presence of the alien had him frozen solid. He stood there, much like an animal pretending to be dead to escape predators, only… standing, and… not looking very dead at all.

This lack of reaction made the alien fume. "ZIM GRANTS YOU SPEECH, EARTH-PIG!" he shrieked.

The burst of sound caused the vampire's body to nearly be thrown off balance. "Uhm, I, uh - !"

The Irken gave him a petrifying scowl, tapping his foot on the wet sidewalk, arms crossed as he not-so-patiently waited for an explanation.

The spotlight only made the vampire's insides leap and twist and flutter, and his throat was shutting, and his face lit on fire - he was an incoherent, babbling buffoon in a matter of seconds under the Irken's scrutiny, unable to get his rehearsed speeches out of his face hole, twitching and on the verge of a panic attack. "Uhm, I, well, it's - "

Zim raised a brow through his frustrations to understand the creature, eyes absorbing here and there for information. Suddenly, he growled. "Zim does not understand your vampire talk!" he snapped. "English, Earth-monster, English!" he struggled to convey.

Zephyr looked a bit taken back from the response. "I'm trying! I just - don't know how to say it!" he defended. "It's hard, you know, when the person that you're trying to talk to is an alien with a language barrier, and hates you on top of it! Like, what did I do that was so wrong?!"

The alien's gaze vaguely flicked around them as Zephyr spoke. He pouted from the question, narrowing his eyes. "Are you so clueless, Earth-monkey? Do you not understand the meaning of despise? You set me far back in my plans for world conquest, and yet you still question what you did?" he sneered. "Pointy, revolting cow-beast!"

"I don't know what my hair has to do with a cow to you, but that's what I've been trying to - !"

"NONSENSE!" Zim screeched. "You do not fool Zim! Whatever operations you work under, you will not infiltrate Zim's base! None of you will! None of you filthy, pig-smellies with your 'I love you, Zim, let me help you take over the world, Zim, let me live in your base with you, Zim'!" he mocked. "Zim does not care HOW many of you filthy creatures try to breach my defenses! NONE OF YOU SHALL! NONE!"

Zephyr stared at him, jaw loose. He blinked hard, trying to process. Wha…? He never saw anyone trying to do any of that. Was the alien more psychotic than he thought? Or maybe it was just a language barrier thing, again.

The vampire's frown deepened. "I don't really know what you're - "

"LIES!" the Irken spat, on his tiptoes as he leaned into the vampire's space for intimidation. "YOU do not scare ME, blood-candy beast! Zim knows your filthy ways of noodles and chopsticks! NEVER AGAIN! And your wretched, spiky hair! And - " His eyes fell to the purple pants, fumbling for an insult. "HEAD!" he pointed viciously.

Zephyr was pressed into the bushes at this point, gloved finger at his nose. He breathed in, then out, puffing his chest and standing tall, cloak squirming. "Listen here, alien! Just shut up for one moment and let me talk!" he snapped back, pointing all the same.

The Irken blinked wide from the opposition, surprisingly complying.

Absorbing this quickly, the vampire kept the brutish act up. "First of all, I did NOT ruin your base! YOU brought me there," he shoved the Irken, "YOU tried to kill me," another shove, "And your ROBOT thing was the one who messed up your plans to shoot me into space! I didn't do a thing, other than open my big mouth about my stupid problems!" His palms connected with the Irken one last time, sending the alien splashing into a deep puddle.

The Irken sat there in the watery depths that drenched his uniform to the core, disguised eyes taking in the creature above him. He remained in a disturbing silence, seeking further information. It was almost scary how submissive he was being, compared to the familiar screaming and rambunctious alien that he was known to be.

Zephyr's hostility slowly evaporated from the foreign behaviour. After moments of just staring with his guilt on a harsh incline, he reached down to take the hand of the Irken's wet glove.

But the alien just moved it away quickly, eyes scanning over the offered help with a suspicious glance. He looked back up to the vampire, expression making it clear just how lost the alien truly was, and apparently always seemed to be. How did the Irken even make it from day-to-day like this? He, himself, would have gone mad a long time ago.

He decided to back off a bit, giving the alien some breathing room. "Sorry," he tried.

But the Irken seemed far from responding in any way, shape, or form. He just watched, as if waiting for something - but Zephyr had absolutely no clue as to what the alien was expecting him to say elsewise. It was unnerving, and the vampire shifted in his stance to treat the rising anxiety. "Uhm…"

Trying to think of something further to say, the vampire searched the collecting water beneath them… and just like that, he ran.

Zim furrowed his brow in the direction that the vampire had disappeared in, eventually picking himself up, squeezing out the bottom of his uniform. However, it just plopped back against his skin, sticking to the paste layer. He pouted, returning to his lawn and doorstep, opening the door. "Gir, a shower!" he barked.

"Yeah, he's fixing it up, but I won't leave him alone for too long," a devilish grin spread Dib's lips. "I was actually thinking of breaking in tomorrow tonight and trying to cut his power."

"You remember where it is?" the shadow figure lifted a brow.

"Not really. I was kinda just following his moose minion thing through the dark, so, uh… yeah. But, I know I can find it again! And he's near-to-defenseless right now, so it shouldn't be too difficult to break in, you know?"

"Uh huh. Well, I'm just wondering about the whole media thing. Like, did Zim even tell you how he drove everyone away? Did he say something?"

"Uhm… I guess he did. He didn't really explain much, but I guess I can catch the news, if they might have said anything about it."

"It just sounds weird. Are the people in your area, like… small-town, reserved, or something?"

"Huh? No… We're right outside the city, and my dad's lab is a huge tourist area."

"Just wondering," the figure defended afterwards. "I mean, I know people can be stupid, but how stupid?"

"Exactly!" Dib typed away at his keyboard. His eyes vaguely went to the static screens that littered his wall above. All of those cameras… all of that surveillance… ruined! Dib held up his chin, deadpanning. "Man, this sucks! I have to reinstall every single bug in Zim's base! And who knows how his security will change?"

"If we're being honest here, I don't think Zim's changing his security measures anytime soon. He would probably just aim for the quickest route to fix things up, right? Things he's already familiar with?"

"That's a good point, I guess, but he's unpredictable, y'know? You think one thing, and he does the complete - "

Suddenly, a mysterious tune carried through the room. Dib's cell phone buzzed and moved across the nightstand.

The child perked up from the music, though his brow furrowed after. What does his dad want at this hour? He never calls.

Dib wheeled his chair back to the phone, grabbing it up to confirm his dad's contact info, however, his eyes snapped open.

His heart suddenly hammered, and he looked like he was almost going to be sick.

"Uh… are you going to answer that?" Drayne pointed.

"Talk to you after," Dib agreed, ending the video call and holding the ringing cell in his grasp. Staring down at it for what seemed like an eternity, the child finally accepted the call, bringing the phone to his ear. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What do you want, Zim?"

"Why did it take you so long to answer?!" were the first words from the Irken's mouth. "What were you doing? Not investigating Bigfeets, were you?"

"No," Dib made a face. "I was in, uh, a very important call! A top secret SEN meeting, obviously!"

"Is it secret, human? Is it? Because Zim knows of it, now, but that is beside the point!" Dib almost saw the shake of Zim's head. "My computer is not quite ready to retrieve information for me, so, ehm, I demand that you do so, instead! Tell Zim about vampires!" he snapped.

"Huh?" Dib blinked hard. "You're seriously asking me, your worst enemy, to teach you about the paranormal?" He squinted. "Why do you - " Dib's eyes averted, then came back as he turned his chair around. "Is this about Zephyr? He didn't bite you, did he? Are you turning?!"

The Irken made small sounds of attempting comprehension. "Zim's direction does not relate at all, Earth-monkey! And, eh, no?" Zim paused for a little while. "Enough questions, Dib-worm! Feed me your vampire data! Now!"

"You're stupid if you think that I'll give you an advantage in any way!"

The Irken growled over the phone, sound radiating through Dib's ear. "You wished to work together! You said so yourself, dirt-worm!"

"Well, maybe I changed my mind, you rotten alien!"

A long silence. Dib started to shift in his seat.

"Why?"

"Uhm, duh? Because that would be stupid to team up with the alien who's trying to conquer my planet," he emphasized slowly. "Like you said earlier, it never ends well, anyway." He turned his chair away from the blaring computer screen, sliding from his seat. He went for the door, exiting into the hall. "But I still kinda want to know what you plan on doing."

"Well, that's too bad! You shall never know!"

"Not even if I do tell you about vampires?" the child lifted a brow, taking the stairs down. He passed his sister on the sofa, going for the kitchen.

She opened an eye back towards him, game pausing.

"It's a yes or no question, Zim."

That's all she needed, the child getting back to her game. Stupid Zim. Stupid Dib. Why did they have to call each other? Why does anyone have to call each other? She grumbled to herself, shifting on the cushion.

"No," her brother rose his voice a little. "Don't test me, Zim! I know about the paranormal better than any - !"

Gaz could vaguely hear the alien's voice challenging her brother within the phone's speaker.

"Oh, yeah?! Well, take this! The garlic thing is just a legend! Sunlight is, too! Vampires don't have to ask to come in first, they don't have to count each grain of salt - well, unless they have OCD, or something, I don't know - and they don't actually turn into bats!" he seethed. "Those are all just stories because people will believe anything!"

Eventually, Gaz moved to join her brother in the kitchen, stepping past his acclaimed seat at the table.

As if she had always been there, Dib suddenly gave her a look. "Can you believe this?!" he barked.

She didn't respond, however, and continued to play, little beeps and noises coming from the device. Zim's voice leaked through the phone.

"NO!" Dib exploded. "You're such a moron! Vampires don't eat human food! ...No, they don't bathe either… Well, I guess, if they wanted to.." Dib suddenly deadpanned. "No, Zim, they're not experts on copier machines."

Gaz almost laughed, her lips cracking an amused smile. She didn't know how her brother put up with the idiot. Well, that is to say, an idiot, usually. At the moment, her brother was the one who looked like the true idiot here. It was so obvious that Zim was taking advantage of Dib's know-it-all attitude. Just when she thought the Irken was an utter moron, he surprised her with how manipulative he could truly get.

"Listen!" Dib snapped. "I don't know what fishing has to do with any of this, but you're wrong! If you want to know the truth about vampires, then just.. Just - come over and I'll teach you! Believe me, I've collected all the lore out there," he smugly ended.

Suddenly, he spluttered. "I just - you know, wasn't actually trying, obviously! Duh! Why would I actually kill him when he causes you trouble? Of course I know how! Seriously, Zim?

"Okay, yeah. Fine. Midnight is fine. But it can't go on for too long, we have skool tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure that Miss Bitters asked us to write an essay on what not to do in case of swallowing a snail."

Gaz continued to move her fingers, looking quite absorbed in her game, but was far from it.

"Uhm, I'm pretty sure by accident… No, you're not copying off of mine!" Dib suddenly got up, going for the fridge. "How do you not remember what a snail is?!

"Well, that isn't my problem! If anything, that would just be more proof! …Team project?!

"Whatever, Zim! Just be here at midnight. Yeah. Mhm. Hate you, too. Bye."

Gaz watched from the corner of her eye as her brother put down the phone to eat… but only for a second, because his fingers started to fly over the touchscreen keys. He sneered as he wrote, clearly working on a message to the alien. Why or how they decided to exchange contact info, she would never know. They were so obvious, it hurt.

"He's just playing you, you know," she scoffed over her game.

Dib looked up and did a double-take as if he had completely forgotten of her existence. "Playing me? Pfft. Gaz, please. I think I'd know when the paranormal is playing the investigator."

"Sure."

Dib paused in munching on his pizza slice, narrowing an eye. "Playing me how, Gaz? Sure, he tricks people into believing he's normal for some stupid reason, but me? Really?" Dib's sarcasm was enough to make Gaz's eyes open in his direction.

"Yes, Dib, really," she spat. "You claim to be the smartest investigator in the world, yet even an idiot like Zim can get under your skin by just pretending to be stupid. Which makes you really stupid."

"That doesn't make any sense, Gaz!" he snapped with his mouth half-full. "Zim's an egotistical jerk! He doesn't do stuff like that! You just don't understand him like I do!" he tore away another piece with his teeth.

"Whatever," Gaz rolled her eyes. Sometimes people weren't ready to realize the truth. Needless to say, her brother wasn't an idiot, but he wasn't the smartest, either. He didn't know the first thing about people, for one. He didn't know how to talk to them, how to interact with them, or be a part of society in general. The people he claimed to defend, he couldn't stand. And for what? Some childish game of cat and mouse?

No. It's more complicated than that. Her brother has always been a little out there. Both she and their dad have known that much. But, Membrane wasn't around much to see what she saw.

Dib's obsession was dangerous. He was so fixated on the alien that it even frightened her, at times. She's had multiple encounters with her brother's strange behaviour - having breakdowns over the Irken's absences, just when the planet might seem safe again - catching her brother watching video feed of Zim bathing - but, of course, he noticed her, and he refused to speak to her for nearly two weeks.

She's heard him mumble in his sleep, sometimes about unicorns, or faeries - but primarily, and not surprisingly, about Zim. It was spooky how deeply imbedded the Irken was in her brother's brain. Almost like a hypnotic suggestion, or by some freaky alien powers, her brother was so irreversibly invested in this space comer that he couldn't break out. He's tried several times before, seeking a life on the more normal scale, but every single time he strayed, it would bite him back hard. He would feel empty. His grades would drop. He would sleep all day, and forget to eat. Violent breakdowns at four in the morning.

She wouldn't forget the night of hearing her brother wail down the hall. She had been under her covers in a cold sweat, eyes wide through the darkness, as she listened to his meltdown - the next day, she had paid Zim a visit. To threaten him into feeding back into Dib's obsession, of course. And, now that she thought about it, Zim had looked a bit under the weather, too. He was quiet, his house a mess, and she remembered hearing some soap opera playing on the television.

What a bunch of morons. But, very sad morons. Why did they even do that to themselves?! Why do they do this? If Dib wanted to run away with Zim into space or whatever and never see anyone ever again, then he should just do it already! Everyone would be happier that way, anyway…

Gaz frowned to herself, watching her dead character wilt in a pile of blood pigs. And where exactly would that leave her? Finding another brother? Actually making friends? What about when she got older? What if people remembered him, at some point? 'Oh, yeah, I had a brother, but he ran away with an alien into space.' How did that even sound remotely sane? The girl whose brother disappeared. Taking after their mother.

"Gaz?"

She abruptly lifted her head, shaken out of her thoughts.

"I think you lost," he pointed out. "Are you okay?"

She made a face from the question, dropping her head again. "Are you okay?" she fired back, jumping down from the chair. "Tell Zim I said not to touch my things, or he'll be missing his torso the next time he checks for it."

"Hey, he got you pizza, okay? I'm sure that was some sort of apology, or something."

"He's not off the hook," Gaz huffed, stepping out of the kitchen.

Dib's eyes followed her, listening to her climb the stairs. Suddenly, his screen was blowing up with earth and fire emojis, and his nose crinkled in battle, grabbing up the chaotic phone.

She lingered in the hall, halfway out her doorway as she peered down towards her brother's dark dwelling. She could hear them, even with her headphones in, team members talking in her ear. She could hear them down the hall… being them.

Gaz slowly stalked down the hall, treading carefully. Approaching the door, her hand briefly went to the knob, turning gently.

Just as she suspected. Locked. Gaz pressed her ear to the door, listening beyond the wood.

Whispers. She could hear them whispering now. They seemed to throw some hushed insults back and forth before silencing.

Gaz's eyes shot open as she heard the door unlock, and she scrambled up, putting distance between her and the opening door.

"Gaz?" Her brother furrowed his brow. "Are you eavesdropping on us?" he smirked in amusement.

She gave him a look, glancing back towards the alien on his bed behind him. Zim's magenta gaze focused right back at her, curious, but coy. Careful.

"No," she went to push him aside, but her brother stood strong, blocking her. "Move, idiot."

"Gaz, we're a little busy right now, what do you need?" he tried to shut the door a bit to somehow bring down the volume of their conversation.

"Sure you are," she opened her eyes to glare. "Don't ask me stupid questions." She pushed her way through, taking a seat right next to the alien on the bed. "Keep your robot away from me," she threatened.

Gir stared at her from beneath the covers, slowly reaching out to poke her.

The Irken made a face, then immediately slapped at the limb, returning his focus to the child accompanying him. "Dib-sister, this discussion will bore you. Your filthy human sibling speaks of paranormality madness."

Dib dropped his head, hand smacking over his face. "Paranormal things, Gaz. You wouldn't like it. Did you die in a game or something?"

"No," Gaz gave him a look.

"Are you taking a break?"

"Can't I just join you without being interrogated?" she hissed.

Dib flinched away a bit, then rubbed at his arm. "Uhm.. Oookay…" He immediately pointed back towards his floating presentation. "So, that's why a vampire can't play golf and hockey at the same time. Any questions?"

The Irken laid there, chin in his hand. He lifted a brow, face showing off unimaginable boredom. "You lost Zim at, 'this is a vampire'."

The human's jaw dropped, one emotion after another contorting his face until he finally settled with one of rage. "Are you serious?! I was talking for over an hour and it's nearly one in the morning!"

"Eh, what can I say? English is not my first language," he mocked, imitating glasses with his fingers.

Dib sent him a glare, huffing as he pinched at his brow.

The younger sibling watched them interact, eyes darting from her brother to his nemesis.

"I hate you."

Zim processed for a moment before his lips twisted in a smirk. "I hate you, too," he purred, then snapped back to a more serious manner. "Maybe if you were to use puppets, I would pay more attention. The only visuals I was given were diagrams of a golf ball, a sun with protective eyewear, and that old picture of your meaningless childhood holidays!"

"I told you to forget about that one!" Dib snapped. "It wasn't supposed to be there! You always fixate on the stupidest things!"

"Yes, it was very stupid. But, you were just so small and squishable!" the Irken jabbed further, stirring to pull the sheets over his legs, robots cuddling up on either side of him.

Gaz observed this, eyeing her brother for reaction. And as foreseen, nothing. Her teeth grinded slightly in discomfort as she sat beside her brother's nemesis, idle.

"Whatever," Dib huffed. "Just listen, and stop me if you don't get it so I can dumb it down for aliens like you," the child revealed a smug smirk.

The Irken gave the child a nasty sneer to combat him, a slight snap of his teeth together following.

Dib narrowed his eyes, looking the Irken over, then proceeded to click back to the start of his presentation with a bite of his lip.

"Why are you teaching Zim about vampires?" Gaz finally spoke up.

"It's nothing, Gaz."

"Is this about that kid you invited over?"

"Forget it."

"Why can't I know?" Gaz sneered, crossing her arms. "And don't say it's because I'm younger and wouldn't understand."

Dib huffed, glaring slightly at her. "I don't tell you because you and Dad always ridicule me and what I'm into! Excuse me for not wanting to hear it anymore! So, if you don't mind, I'd rather you just leave Zim and I alone and go back to your games, or whatever!"

Gaz opened her eyes in a squint. She sat there in a silence, briefly eyeing the alien next to her, then jumped down to the floor, making her way out. The door slammed behind her.

"Ooo," Gir vaguely peeped from behind his Master. "Mary mean," he whined.

"Nyeh," Minimoose squeaked sadly.

Zim looked to them, then the human, trying to comprehend. "Mean, how?"

"I wasn't being mean," Dib countered the minions' point. "Gaz doesn't like this stuff. I don't even know why she came in here. Probably just to poke fun at it and bother us, or whatever."

"She was not bothering Zim," the Irken defended.

"I like dat Mary-family," Gir quietly agreed. "She nice."

"Nyah."

"Drop it, okay?" Dib snapped. "I don't get along with my family like you alien people seem to do!"

"Eh?" the Invader made a face. "Zim gets along with no one!"

"Oh, please! My dad asks about you during dinner! You just took my sister for pizza to make up for her clothes!" he whined. "You're more of their family than I am!" he sighed, shoulders dropping. "Look, you asked me to teach you about vampires, so let's just focus on that." He pointed to the floating screen with his pointing stick. "So, again, this is a vampire. Got that?"

"Yes," Zim blinked hard, antennae twitching slightly.

"Vampires have fangs, like this, to bite deep enough to draw blood. Understand that?"

"Mhm," Zim's face twisted a bit.

"Blood is what keeps them powered, like food with - okay, what is your problem?! What don't you get now?!"

"Nnh, nothing," Zim reassured. "Zim just hears your Gus-sister making sounds."

Dib narrowed his gaze, then stopped to listen.

"Nyeh," Minimoose sighed sadly.

"Just ignore it," the child scoffed. He didn't hear anything from here. At least that tells him a bit about the alien's auditory range. Though, he really didn't want to think about what Gaz was doing after their little fight. "Just pay attention," he snapped his fingers a few times to reinforce it. "Blood is an energy source for them. Legend has it that if they don't feed regularly, they fall into a psychotic episode that will render them animalistic."

Zim chewed on his lip, nodding his head once. Any blank staring or lack of reaction would make the human give him this look. Kind of insulting, really, as if Dib thought he understood nothing whatsoever. "What of noodles?"

"Noodles?" The corner of Dib's mouth pulled in confusion. "What do noodles have to - Oh," Dib rolled his eyes. "No, Zim. I really don't know what kind of vampire that was. That… you were, but I have a hunch it was some dastardly scheme to sell more Chinese food," he rubbed at his chin. "Anyway, we're focusing on blood-drinking vampires here. Forget the noodle one. That one doesn't matter." Dib pointed again. "They say that the blood is to animate a dead body, to keep it moving, but I know that they drink blood because it's a curse!" he burst. "Simply put. It's not scientifically possible for a vampire to replenish the oxygen in their muscles to move because of the blood they drink, because that is not how a body works, dead or alive."

The Irken raised his hand.

"Zim," Dib lowered the stick, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, when is recess?" he smirked wickedly.

Dib gave him a look, mouth a thin line. "I hate you."

This was so strange. Why was he doing this? Why was he in his rival's home, in his room, on his bed? Watching him sleep? How did he possibly earn the human's trust to allow his guard to fall so low?

"No, Gaz, I'm not staying," his nemesis sighed in his sleep.

The Irken looked at him again, observing how his eyes moved under his lids. He glanced away again, settling back into the human's warmth and covers. It was so calm, the Earth at this hour, the crickets gently chirping outside, sometimes a few cars would swish by on the road - at times like this… the Irken could feel himself on the brink of madness.

It gave him time to think, and all of those little, festering problems at the back of his mind raced forth. His Tallests were laughing behind his back. Tak, mentioning he wasn't an Invader. Sizzlor, showing he was still coded as a Food Drone. His Pak, driving the Control Brains crazy when they tried to deactivate him. Dib, getting so close to him. These alien feelings, this planet… When he hears the word home, his first thoughts are grass, water, Earthly things - not an Irken city, nor his people. Earth. Earth was unmistakably his acclaimed home. Dib, his acclaimed… something. Something he never thought to have needed until he had it.

The way Dib looked at him when he was dying in the human's arms… it was so strange, and nothing like what Zim had pictured. The child was evil, and wanted nothing but his squeedly spooch all over a table. Never once did he picture Dib expressing despair over a loss like that. Humans were such complicated things.

And what was he going to do once Dib found out about his status? His intentions? Would the human push him aside? Focus on more important things? Would he send him off to the FBI, now that the spark of danger would vanish? Would they ever cross that bridge?

Perhaps Zim could string the human along. He could continue to make self-destructive plans, keep playing this repetitive game, keep faking naïvety to his Tallest… keep living a lie.

Eventually, Dib will see him as useless. He must already think something akin to it, as he's been preaching world domination for a little over a year now, and yet, nothing's come to light. Why does Dib even deal with him? Is the human so stupid as to not understand that Zim allows him to win?

He could have conquered this dirt ball the moment he set foot on it. Well, that's what he tells himself. Perhaps if Dib had not been in the way, he might as well have. He could have ruled it, could have moved on to another planet, have never met the human, nor his sister, nor grew an attachment to this disgusting world. He could have avoided all of it.

But it was too late for him, now.

"Zim," Dib breathed.

His thoughts were taken from him as he looked over, expecting the human to be awake… however, he was very much still sleeping. At least, he thought, anyway. "Dib," he tested.

"Don't leave me."

Zim shot the human a look, throat tensing up. He felt his spooch start to twist and hammer, heat rising. Something about that request sent a chill up his spine, and his lekku jerked and fluttered in thought.

It was an attachment, he knew. Dib was attached to him, enemy, or however he thought of him. He had an attachment - and Zim's gut twisted from the idea of reciprocation. He knew he felt the same. That month of not being chased, when he thought Dib to have moved on, his whole meaning just seemed to crash. Not loyalty to his Tallest, not for his mission. Just for this human before him, he felt, is what meaning revolved around. His purpose had shifted long ago, somehow, to refocus on a primitive creature on a lone, far away planet. Living in simplicity and ignorance.

Zim watched the way his rival's chest would rise and fall, so peaceful, so defenseless against a quick stab to the heart.

The alien swallowed as the human turned over to face him. His antennae flicked, and his eyes glided over his enemy's resting face, his gaze searching.

He couldn't keep doing this.

Dib hummed as he rolled over in the warmth, smiling into his pillow. He settled back into comfort, body slowly losing tension.

Until his eyes shot open.

He jerked out of bed, looking about his dark dungeon. "Zim?" he called. Eyeing his posters, then screens, he searched for movement. But alas, no alien, nor his absurd robots.

The child rubbed at his eyes momentarily, then peeked up at the corners of his room, then towards the windowpane, then under his bed.

No Irken.

He reached over to his nightstand, snatching his glasses and phone. Slipping them on, he scrolled through his messages, biting at his lip.

Some people would say that it's kind of sad that the only conversation he had on his phone was with the alien. Well, him, and his sister, who never bothers to text him back, ever.

However, the Irken hadn't sent him any messages in his absence. The last text he got was something he knew to be in Irken, because the message was all corrupted.

Dib read back through some older messages, furrowing his brow slightly in amusement. Zim wrote even worse than he spoke, if that was even possible. Well, he wrote fast, but his grammar and spelling could be compared to that of a 3 year old... And he was being generous.

He set his phone aside again, letting out a slow exhale. He still had a few minutes left before his alarm, but he knew his mind would be racing up until it went off. So, he dragged himself out from under the heat, embracing the chilly space of his room as he went for his closet.

"Morning."

A small growl.

Dib grabbed for the box of waffles from their freezer, popping two into the toaster. After standing there for a while, puffing his cheeks and awkwardly drumming a beat on the counter, he snatched his toasted breakfast, stepping past his sister.

Gaz kept her eyes down towards her lap, the light from the screen giving her skin a whiter hue.

The investigator sat there, kicking his legs under the table as he sat back, munching in the silence between them, quiet crunches and clinks of his fork to the plate interrupting it. He vaguely looked over to his sister's leftover pizza, and his gears started to turn. "Did you see Zim leave this morning?"

Dib watched her, seeking response, but his sibling failed to even acknowledge his question, and he began to tap his plate with the fork. "Gaz."

The child paused her game, opened her glare towards Dib's fork, then up at him. "What?"

"Did you see Zim leave?"

"No." Immediately, she returned to her game, moving her fingers.

"Well, he usually wakes me up to insult me one last time. I was just wondering if you heard him leave at any - "

She stopped her game again, scowling. "No, Dib, I didn't hear your stupid boyfriend leave, now stop bugging me."

Dib narrowed his eyes, scoffing quietly and retreating to his phone to refocus his attention. Zim hadn't answered his text.

Well, whatever. Maybe he could catch him before skool and taunt him a little about Keef, or how he thought that snails were related to the common sea-monkey. He snorted.

"Stop smiling."

Dib's smirk immediately faded, and he looked elsewhere, fist over his mouth.

He waited, beginning to lean against the bent stop sign. He had told Gaz to go on without him, who had no complaints in walking to skool on her own. He said he would wait for Zim, but, the Irken seemed to be running late. Or, maybe he left earlier to avoid him, again.

He stood on the empty street corner, eyes mindlessly watching a worm struggle to make its way back to dirt. He eventually pulled out his phone, checking the time - then his messages, watching for any incoming green splotches in his peripheral vision. He lifted his eyes to the clouds, scanning for ships, then pinched himself, just in case Zim had pulled some virtual reality crap on him again.

Nope. He was awake. And starting to shiver. Their class was in fifteen minutes. He was going to be late if he didn't get going.

Dib slipped his phone away, starting to make his way through sleet. A few cars drove by, effectively splashing the stuff and sending a cold wind his way. He readjusted his trenchcoat, trudging on.

Stupid alien. If he got any more detentions, Miss Bitters would be after his parents, and he knew the Irken's robots to be broken down right now. Zim would be dooming himself if he got into trouble.

So, why on Earth would he risk it? That moron.

Dib crossed his arms and puffed his cheeks. Unless… unless Zim's base had collapsed on him? He could be in the deep depths of his lab, buried in rubble, unable to get himself out, desperately clawing for air.

Dib only made it halfway down the street before his worries got the best of him, flipping his course. He ran full force back to the stop sign, briefly checking for cars and skidding across sleet to the other side of the road. He panted, legs carrying him on an all-too-familiar path. He rushed across a few more walkways, taking some shortcuts through backyards and hopping fences, some dogs barking after him.

Dib swallowed, lungs ice as he entered the cul de sac, disheveled green dwelling in his sights.

"Bloaty's Pizza Hog! Bloaty's Pizza Hog!"

"Remember, kids, grease is good for your gut," the man in costume covered his mouth momentarily, then knocked back a slice of pizza. The actor seemed to struggle, choking and trying his best not to vomit before trying to smile.

"We love you, Bloaty!"

"Nyeh."

"Dat's a biiiiig piggy," Gir giggled. Minimoose squeaked as it bounced up and down beside him, the two minions laughing together.

Suddenly, there came a furious knocking. "Zim? Zim, get out here! And fix your gnomes, they look like trash!"

Gir squealed in excitement. "DA MILK MAN!" he screamed, standing on the couch and pounding his robotic chest. Minimoose stayed behind, watching from the sofa with caution. "Nya…"

Gir zipped up his costume, squeaking his way to the door.

The child furrowed his brow, mid-knock as the door was pried open, expecting an irritated Irken. Instead, he got a green head with ears slamming into his torso, arms crushing him tightly. "Nyah!" he clutched at Gir's shoulders, making a face of disgust. "Gir! Where's Zim? Is he in there? He's late for skool."

"D'awww! Mary sad?"

"Uh… sure. Is Zim home? Is he in his base?"

"Nawww, Mastah left for da skool to see you!" he cried, spittle flying.

Dib blinked, wiping his face. "Fine. But, if he told you to lie, then tell him I said that I'll be around to stop him from cleaning up his base!" he leered, then smiled. "See ya!"

"Bye-bye, big head!" Gir waved to the retreating child, earning a ticked off glance. He smiled anyway, tongue sticking out. "He's so nice."

"Nyah," Minimoose shook its head, the door shutting.

The Irken looked out across the partially frozen body of water, taking in how the light would ripple on the surface of beauty he could not touch. His fake pupils trailed down to an ant on its hind legs, sniffing at the air from a blade of grass. His fingers fidgeted with the green stuff beside him, examining its texture and resilience.

These were all Earthen things. Things he should find disgusting and not worth his time, and yet, it was so innocent.. and primitive…

It was raw nature, the creator of an entire planet and the unique species that inhabit it… he couldn't think to blow it away, like he used to, once upon a time. Any society that wasn't his, he wouldn't hesitate to bring it to its knees. And now, he…

The alien looked back up towards the vast surface that danced to taunt him, where insects with wings could simply touch down, relax and bathe in a burning sun, and then go on their way, unharmed, unfazed. These creatures were equipped to handle the elements of this planet. He simply wasn't.

Every single breath in, it would rub his spooch the wrong way, a gentle burn - the oxygen around him laced with toxins from human invention. If it weren't for his processor, he would've been dead the moment he emerged from his ship.

Yet, despite his vicious circumstances, something about this planet was… charming, in a way. He couldn't quite place why the Earth had grown on him, or when, but every moment was a new adventure. There was always something new, something he's never seen before, and it was truly captivating to constantly be introduced to new stimuli. New insects, new animals, the seasons, the clothing, the foods, the accents - there was so much to absorb and learn that it made his mental walls cave in, sometimes, when he thought about all of those worlds, with history and culture just like on this one, having been blown away without a second thought for a fast food establishment.

It wasn't fair.

"Zim?"

The Irken looked back towards the voice, and he immediately soured, facing the lake again. "Zim is not in the mood for your blood swine wants."

Zephyr lifted a brow momentarily, then shook it off. "Well, uhm.."

The alien looked down to where the vampire's shadow washed over him, and then he glanced up, fake irises taking in black abysses. Zim studied for an extended minute, the two beings staring at each other without an uttered word.

Finally, the vampire sat down beside him, using his cloak as a barrier between him and the grass. They simultaneously looked out over the lake, side by side.

After a moment of silence, Zephyr looked over, studying the alien in all of his solemn air. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly thought against it, simply turning back to enjoy the scenery. Young children and their parents were playing on the swings across the body of water. The vampire watched them, then the cars passing by on the street.

Zim's jaw gently shifted as his teeth moved against each other in contemplation. That cold spot beside him was distracting him from his thoughts. Which might have been a guilty pleasure of his, to distract himself from the real issues, but the source of said distraction was something unpleasant. Eyeing the creature from the corner of his eye, Zim slowly narrowed his gaze. He looked down to where the vampire had left bunched up cloak between them, processing.

Finally, the Irken rose slightly, but only to grip the cloak and stretch it beneath him. He wrapped it over his lap, covering his legs, and resettled into silence.

The vampire sat there, frozen as he kept eyeing the alien for further movement. He looked out towards the lake, attention at his peripheral vision.

"I'll destroy you one day, y'know," the alien suddenly spoke.

Zephyr vaguely turned his head, brow clenching. "Thanks?" He scratched at his head, fingers playing with each other as he built up the courage to conjure his inner monologue. "I, uhm… didn't mean to make you fall into a puddle like that," he attempted.

After getting nothing from the alien for a few beats, he started to fidget again. Looking over, but avoiding eye contact, he swallowed. "Well, I mean, I meant to push you, but not into a puddle. Did it, uhm.. hurt? Because you seem to sizzle when water touches you, but the rain didn't seem to be doing anything -"

The alien's eyes landed upon him again, gaze stopping him mid-sentence.

Zephyr stared back awkwardly, forcing himself to keep going, "- and, uhm… you weren't… sizzling," he slowly ended.

The Irken watched him, and the vampire could swear that he saw a storm of emotion brewing behind those fake pupils.

Zephyr looked away again, desperately trying to latch onto the missing pieces that explained the Irken's behaviour.

"I don't like you," the Irken simply put.

"You've made that quite clear," Zephyr blew at his bangs with a sigh. Why did he ever think that he would get a serious conversation out of the alien?

He sulked, giving up on English for the moment. His cloak gently wrapped and pulsed as his insides shivered with anxiety. He remembered why he hid himself away from the world in the first place. People. They made him nervous. And yet, an alien made him less so. Did it make sense? He wasn't too sure.

"Zim was just thinking about…" the Irken suddenly spoke and trailed off, then came back, and he seemed to have second thoughts, judging by the frustrated frown. "This planet, and the horrible things that inhabit it."

The vampire blinked back at him, just amazed that the alien had spoken to him first, and not out of insult!

"Including you."

He spoke too soon. Zephyr deadpanned momentarily, but curiosity took hold again. "Don't you go to skool on weekdays?"

"Yes."

"Well, aren't you late, then?"

"No," the alien corrected. Despite this, Zephyr's eyes went from the Irken to the skool bus passing by, full of children. It splashed through the remnants of the storm, disappearing around the corner.

"O…kay.." the vampire furrowed his brow, deciding to let that argument go. "So, what are you doing here, exactly?"

"Understand this, vampire," the Irken narrowed his gaze. "Zim does not venture into public looking to be interrogated."

Zephyr held the alien's eyes before shying away again. He understood the alien's point, from a common sense perspective… but the Irken solely seeked danger from his nemesis on a day-to-day basis, and interrogating was all the paranormal fanatic did.

The vampire kept his rotating thoughts to himself, simply joining the alien in looking back out over the lake.

They sat in silence together, the sun rising high in the sky.

He waited on the staircase, eyes lifting every time the door opened. As another human passed by him, he deflated again into his knees, arms wrapped around.

Gaz left without him again. But, it was going on 5 o'clock, and the alien still hasn't emerged. He wasn't just late this morning, he didn't even show.

Dib picked himself up from the stair, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He began to walk, keeping his face low behind the collar as he made his way down his usual path towards Hurt Park.

The last time they talked, he was teaching Zim about how to handle vampires…

Dib slowed to a stop, thoughts circulating. His eyes suddenly popped open, and he made a beeline for the cul de sac.

He panted as he raced into the cul de sac, almost tripping over himself and twisting an ankle. It was very much a replay of this morning, and he wasn't happy about it. Here he was, running to his enemy's base, not because of a plan to expose him, but of a plan to save him, if he even did need saving. It sounded more and more ridiculous the longer he turned it over in his mentally exhausted headspace.

As soon as he got to the Men's door, he barged in. "Wel- c- c- come home, s- s-"

Dib shoved the sputtering robots out of his way, eyeing the empty living room. He departed into the kitchen, the toilet his target.

However, when he stepped inside the unusual entry way to Zim's base, he paused to stare at the robots who sat at the table.

Gir and Minimoose were covered in brown sludge, some of it dripping off of them. The kitchen looked like an absolute wreck; the fridge left wide open, eggs cracked and leaking all over the floor, flour coating the table in impressive mountains.

The three stared at each other awkwardly. "Uhm," Dib spoke first, "is Zim down there?"

"N'aww, big head boy, Mastah went to da sky to jump over da moon!" Gir cried. "Without me!" he literally cried, robot hands covering his eyes. "Mastah have ALL da fun!"

"Nyeh," the purple moose squeaked, batter dripping from its chin.

From this, Dib ditched them in the kitchen, heading back to the living room. He looked around for any hidden entryways in the general vicinity of where he knew Zim to ascend to his roof, but there seemed to be no sign of a switch or anything anywhere. How in the world did he get up there?

He started to stomp impatiently, jumping around on the tiles - and lo and behold, one of them began to lift. He cringed, diving for it and holding on desperately as it zipped up towards the ceiling of wires.

The wires separated like a living monster house that was about to digest him - but the tile lifted him straight up into the roof, trapping him in a dark, small area.

Oh, right. He remembered Zim taking him up here after experimenting on him, trying to launch him into an explosion, or whatever. It was kind of going a little too fast for him to fully comprehend just what happened that day.

Still, the human jumped up before the floor shut, and he searched the attic - minimal light leaking in from the window.

"You, again?" came an annoyed, British accent.

"Hey! I was wondering where Zim hid you!" Dib smiled wide from the ship that came to life.

"I don't know what happened, but it was probably stupid. My readings say that his power core is under distress."

"Yeah, I figured that." Dib approached, going to jump in, but he was suddenly smacked away. "Hey! What gives?!"

"What do you think you are doing?!" Tak's voice hissed. "I am not taking you anywhere! You left me behind, and left me in the hands of an even bigger idiot!"

"I'm sorry, okay? But none of that is my fault! Look, Zim's out there somewhere, plotting - something! And I need to stop him! So - just let me in and hate me later, okay?!"

"Hmn…. No."

"C'mon, please?"

"No."

"I'll let you slap Zim around once we find him," he offered.

"Fine."

Dib celebrated his small victory before jumping inside, roof opening up. He swallowed in excitement from the full view of the night sky above. He didn't think he would ever get over that initial feeling of leaving his planet's atmosphere.

And just like that, the ship was shooting like a rocket, and Dib felt his body compress against the seat. His insides shook with anxiety as sky turned to stars, Earth slowly drifting away. The ship knew exactly where to go, twinkling out of the galaxy.

Huh. He recognized this route. Dib looked out the shield as the ship led them, watching several spiraling galaxies pass them in the distance. "You're sure Zim went this way?" he seeked comfort.

"Of course I'm sure, you meat-sac," the ship snapped.

Dib made a face. "You could be a little nicer."

"No, thanks."

Suddenly, the ship came to a halt that threw Dib off of his seat, causing him to slam into the shield with a bang. "UGH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"We're here, you moron."

Dib looked out, staring straight at Zim's ship that contained no pilot. His eyes trailed down the cord attached to the ship, and at the end of it, what seemed like an unconscious Zim was just floating around the mini solar system. "Zim?" he freaked out.

Quickly pulling on his suit, fitting the bubble over his head, but just enough space for his hair, he left the safety of his ship, pushing himself off.

Grabbing at the alien, he began to shake him, clenching his teeth. "What are you doing, you little, green monster?!" he snapped. Dib knew exactly why Zim was here, though. The Irken had once told him that he came to this specific place to think. Or to just have fun punching an entire world's face. But he was pretty sure it wasn't the latter, judging by the Irken's state.

From the contact, Zim opened his eyes, colour filling them as his Pak shuddered to life. "Eh?! What?! DIB?!" he screamed, clearly lost. He panicked, kicking the child straight in the gut.

"Ugh!" the human went flying from the force, smacking into the side of Zim's ship.

The Irken made a face, absorbing Tak's ship not too far off, and the human's space uniform. "What are you doing here, Dib-slug?!" he demanded.

"I should be asking you the same question! In fact, I will! What are you doing here, you Irken menace?!"

"Zim has no obligation to tell you where I go and why!" his brow twitched, antennae unable to stay still.

"Well - well, now you do, because I didn't come all the way here for nothing!" Dib stressed. "What are you doing floating out here?! Did it ever occur to you that you could be, I don't know, abducted, or hit with a meteor shower, or something, while you're out like that?!"

Zim's mouth shook as his nemesis yelled at him, hostile glare upon him. "That is none of your concern, Earth-monkey. Go home!"

"I'm not going home until you tell me what you're doing out here!" Dib held on to the ship, clutching at its inactive engine.

To this, Zim crossed his arms, turning around and puffing his cheeks like a brat.

The human seethed from the response, eyes falling back down to the cord. He was quick to grab at it, using it to reel the alien back in. "Just tell me!"

The alien screeched as his confined ankle, what was once his safety net, turned into his demise, and as soon as Dib grabbed at him, he was quick to punch him straight in the nose - however, the hit caused the human to be sent off in the void of space, and Zim's spiderlegs shot out at lightning speed, snatching the human back.

Dib covered his bloody nose, staring at the alien as he panted from post-fear.

The Irken panted with him, hardly having fought, but he was breathless. There was a sting at the back of his eyes, and then there were tears, and Zim was suddenly breaking down against the human's chest, spiderlegs and arms holding him from floating off again.

The child flinched from the action, eyes perplexed as his alien nemesis cried and shook against him.

Their previous battles have not, in any way, prepared him for this.

Dear Die-ary,

I'm not okay.

Gaz