A/N:

WARNING: Happiness! ;p In addition to all the major angst of course…

Chapter 10

Kotetsu awoke petulant, his heart still ached but was lighter and his body still trembled but now with anticipation in addition to pain. His body stiffened as a familiar glow seemed to radiate towards him. He struggled to sit up and turned his head blinking hard twice staring at the shadow cast by the setting sun. It approached his bed falteringly slightly and he couldn't mistake it. He swiped at his eyes to make sure he wasn't still dreaming, as the all too familiar arms stretched out from the shadow and pulled him into its warmth. "Zumo?" he asked questioningly, his breath caught in his chest and his heart missing a beat. He recognised the warmth, the feel and the smell of his lover but he couldn't be sure he wasn't dreaming.

"I'm sorry I'm late love, I'm so sorry".

"Zu-mo" Kotetsu said again, he spilled his soul into the two syllables as his living nightmare was finally, finally over and he felt at home wrapped up in the same arms that scolded him, made love to him and eased his pain so tenderly. "Oh god, Zumo" he sobbed breathlessly into a worn out Izumo's chest as they held onto each other desperately, trying to touch and clasp onto every inch of life they contained all at once.

"It's OK baby. I'm here, I'm here" Izumo murmured comfortingly, letting out all the emotion he had held onto the last few days as he was separated from his lover. "I got you baby" he wept into the black hair which had lost its life as Kotetsu had come so close to doing so too. "I got you" Izumo couldn't fathom the fact Kotetsu had nearly gone, all because of him. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he had succeeded and was more than thankful to Sakura and to Shikamaru. "God, I got you Tetsu" he cried again as he covered Kotetsu in soft gentle kisses breathing in his lover desperately.

When Kotetsu's sobbing had quietened and Izumo got a hold of his emotions; the hurt the anger and the pain that he had nearly driven Kotetsu to take such severe measures eased slightly. He looked into the coal black eyes of his distraught lover "Tetsu, promise me, promise me now, that you'll never try it again. That no matter what happens, you won't try it again" Izumo's voice broke and his breathing faltered once more as the emotional pain he saw in his lovers eyes was too much. He rested his forehead against Kotetsu's and kissed him repeatedly tentatively. "Promise me Tetsu, please" he pleaded brokenly as Kotetsu remained silent "I can't have you doing that, thinking like that. Your precious baby, so promise me". Kotetsu knew what Izumo was referring to, he would've been annoyed he'd found out, but he was breathing in the sight of his lover.

"Don't make me live without you Zumo" Kotetsu begged clutching to Izumo for dear life. "Don't leave me alone" he pleaded. Izumo gathered Kotetsu into his arms and rocked his broken lover soothingly laying him back down onto the bed as he caressed his cheek gazing into the windows of Kotetsu's soul who bared his all for Izumo to see, to take, to hold. "I love you Izumo" Kotetsu whispered into his chest placing soft gentle kisses over Izumo's heart "I love you" he repeated.

Izumo couldn't answer as all his emotion swelled again and got caught in his throat. He just held onto Kotetsu and rocked them both into a deep slumber drained by emotion, but they were both whole again in each other's arms.

-oOo-

A few days later a limping Aoba stopped and waved as he walked past the two Chunins hospital room. "Hey, Izumo your back" he smiled "gave us all quiet the scare there you two did" he said taking a seat at Kotetsu's bedside giving his arm a gentle squeeze as the Chunins smiled at him. "Rai was so worried, I've never seen him hesitate on a mission before" he sighed "how is he doing? I've been cooped up here recovering from chakra exhaustion that I haven't been able to check on him" Aoba griped.

"Raidou's back?" Kotetsu asked eyes wide with surprise. "I…" he paused and looked at Izumo with pain filled eyes. Raidou still hated him, but he thought he would come and see Izumo who he loved and favoured, but it seemed he hated Kotetsu enough to avoid him completely.

"Yeah, we got back a day ago. He hasn't been in to see you yet?" Aoba asked surprised as both the Chunins shook their head in unison. It wasn't like Raidou not to visit the Chunins but he had seen the guilt in Kotetsu's face. Had they had a fight? "Don't worry about him, he probably doesn't know Izumo's back and he was feeling a little sick" he laughed nervously "his probably just passed out from chakra exhaustion, he hates hospitals so would just crash at his place. But we all suffer from it no matter how strong we think we are" he chuckled easing their mind as he left making a note to himself to check Raidou's apartment on the way home.

-oOo-

Kotetsu lay in Izumo's arms contemplating what Aoba had said. It really wasn't like Raidou to hesitate on a mission and to be sick too. "Izumo, he still hates me" Kotetsu murmured into Izumo's shoulders. "Go to him Zu, his still your friend". Izumo sighed into the black mop of hair and pulled away lifting Kotetsu's chin so he could look him in the eyes.

"Ko, you know Raidou's not one to hold a grudge. You know what his like when his tired after a mission, he sleeps nonstop. Like Aoba said, he'll be over soon when his feeling better".

Kotetsu shook his head, "he won't come" he looked at Izumo "go to him, tell him I'm sorry but he shouldn't punish you for my mistakes". A tear slipped Kotetsu's eye, that's all he seemed to be doing recently. "Please Zu, go to him".

Izumo sighed, "what aren't you telling me Tetsu?"

Kotetsu shook his head again "just go to him, I know how much his friendship means to you" he mumbled.

"I will, tomorrow OK" Izumo followed the tear trail on Kotetsu's cheek with his thumb and kissed it away. "Wish you would hurry and get better so I could take you home… and take all of you" he smiled suggestively. For the first time in 5 days Kotetsu's eyes shone as he smiled and an impish expression graced his beautiful pale face. "So stop causing trouble for the medical Nins and do as your told" Izumo reprimanded him.

Kotetsu groaned "it's stupid that they won't let me move".

Izumo hit him lightly "you're stupid" Kotetsu rubbed his head frowning at his lover. Izumo pulled apart the hospital kimono to show him "had you done as you were told, you wouldn't have opened the wound again. And…" Izumo ran his hands beneath the Kimono and let his thumb circle a tanned nipple to attention causing Kotetsu to take in a sharp breath. "…I wouldn't have had to wait this long to taste you again". Kotetsu smiled and gasped out a questioning yeah? which was swallowed by Izumo's mouth, who just couldn't resist the smile and nibbled at the cracked red lips whilst continuing to run his hand under Kotetsu's hospital Kimono tracing his lover's scars, old and new. "I need you baby" Izumo said trailing kisses down Kotetsu's throat to his collar bone. Kotetsu sighed into the kisses and relaxed under his lovers caress running his hands down Izumo's back to his ass and squeezing it. Izumo smiled into the kiss and gazed into Kotetsu's deep orbs trying to show his lover how much he loved him, needed him, and wanted him. There allure was broken as they heard the tell-tale sign of a jutsu and Aoba teleported into their room clearing his throat with a flush.

"Erm really sorry guys, but Raidou, have you seen him yet?"

Izumo sat up removing his hand from Kotetsu and shook his head. "No, he still hasn't come to visit".

Aoba looked worried "It's just that he didn't hand in the mission report or come to the hospital to get screened for infections. And well he didn't answer the door when I went to his house this morning" he looked at the Chunins as they too exchanged a worried glance "it's not like Rai to go off the map. No one's seen him since we returned". Izumo was up and out of bed putting on his sandals.

"I'll help you look for him" Izumo said pulling on his flak jacket hurriedly including his radio. Raidou's team had been back for nearly 60 hours now and Izumo was concerned about his friend's strange behaviour and wellbeing. He knew what Raidou was like with mission reports and was never over the 48 hour limit to hand them in. Kotetsu rose too and struggled to his feet his wound still not healed properly. Izumo turned and shook his head "KO, what did we just discuss?" Izumo said sternly helping him back into bed "I need you to stay here babe, in case he comes to visit". Kotetsu was about to protest but the worried look in Izumo's face stopped him. "I can't worry about your health as well as Rai's Tetsu. I'll send word as soon as I find him" Izumo said brushing the black locks our of Kotetsu's face and kissing him softly before following Aoba out the room.

Where could he be? Izumo thought as he run through the roof tops. Raidou was injured; Aoba had assured him that the enemies weapons weren't poisoned but Raidou still needed the wounds to be treated. He had seen how tired Raidou had been lately but that had never stopped him handing in reports, taking moderate care of himself or just dropping by to say hello to them. Maybe Kotetsu was right, Raidou was angry and still hurt, why haven't you come to see us Rai, does our love mean so little to you? Izumo froze and shook his head in realisation; he did love and this was really the first time he had admitted it to himself. He was pretty sure Kotetsu felt the same way about Raidou, but of course Raidou didn't know that, and that was the problem. They'd never told Raidou that they loved him, cared about him and what he meant to them. Izumo let out a heavy sigh, Raidou had told them more than once that he couldn't be loved and was just a dispensable village tool. God, how wrong he was and how little he knew, Rai where are you? Izumo cried out loud into setting sun.

-oOo-

Raidou didn't want to go home so he went wondering mindlessly into the night after parting ways with his team. When he couldn't think anymore and his body grew weary he went looking for Genma. Genma could be trusted to take him out drinking, to forget what he had seen, what he had done. "Gen" he thumped on the door "Gen open up". There was no answer; what time was it anyway. Genma's door was always open for him no matter the time so he must have been called away on a mission Raidou concluded. Raidou sighed and slumped back against Genma's door, there was nothing for it but to head to his apartment.

As he entered his house, the faint ethereal smell of lemon fresh reached his nostrils and Raidou was hit with a gush of anguish. "Oh god Izumo" he cried and fell to his knees crawling towards his bedroom. In his moment of self-pity he had forgotten momentarily of why he felt so terrible. It couldn't be, it couldn't be! But no one had told him otherwise since he had returned. Izumo, his loving friend Izumo was gone and Kotetsu? Kotetsu who was currently so vulnerable, was probably still in hospital broken beyond repair. He knew he should visit him but Kotetsu hated him, hated him for being right. Raidou's body went numb as his vision went murky. His chest felt tight and his heart beat was heavy against it as all the blood seemed to drain out of him suddenly. He hadn't been there to save them. He'd failed Izumo and more importantly, had probably killed Kotetsu with his words. Ko I didn't mean it, I didn't want to be right, to take Izumo from you. Ko…please Ko.

Kotetsu's broken cry echoed in his mind's eye as the black haired Chunin beat at Raidou's chest. The heart breaking sobs of Kotetsu's then changed to the screams of the targets lover. "Kill me too" Raidou trembled and clutched at his head stop please stop, his vision went blank again and Raidou had to throw up as the targets serene smile flashed across his face and his lovers wild eyes screamed at him. He'd failed. He had ruined not one love story but two and probably many others he just didn't know about. It didn't matter how strong people thought he was, how strong he tried to be. It was all a lie. Raidou couldn't breathe; the screaming in his head continued and he collapsed onto the floor in a violent coughing fit causing his wounds to break afresh. He couldn't do it anymore, the tears that had built up over the last two decades spilled from his eyes as he gasped for breath. I am strong he thought I have to be strong it was the only thing he could hold onto.

But today, today Raidou tried, tried his damned hardest but he failed. 35 years of being nothing, nothing but strong and it all came crumbling down around him. What did he do now? What was he now? Raidou lay alone on the cold hard wooden floor covered in drying mud and coagulating blood. He curled himself into a tight ball on his side and covered his face as his body trembled and he gave into the pretence of being strong.