Chapter 10: Do You Remember…
It was the light pitter-patter of the rain on my bedroom window that woke me up. I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to let go of that wonderful dream I'd been having. Had it been a dream? I couldn't be certain. Yes, it had to have been. Edward would never formally propose. Would he?
And then I felt his arms around me. I let the smile creep onto my face as I felt his cool fingers brush the hair from my eyes. Then it was a gentle, velvet-smooth voice that called me out of unconsciousness. "Good morning."
The side of my head was still resting against his bare chest, just as it had been when I'd fallen asleep. I'd fallen asleep. I moaned irritably, despite the unyielding smile that betrayed my features as I finally opened my eyes and tilted my head back enough to blink up into his perfect face. "You let me fall asleep." I accused in a weak voice, although still smiling broadly.
He smiled brilliantly down at me, making my heart flutter as his lips touched my forehead, affection evident in his actions. "I'm sorry." He whispered after he'd freed his lips, but I knew he could never mean that. His radiant smile betrayed him.
Purely out of curiosity, the thumb on my left hand reached across its palm to the base of my ring finger, feeling for a band of any sort. To my surprise, it found one. I glanced down, reluctantly pulling my eyes away from Edward's gorgeous face, and it was all I could do to keep from gasping at the beauty of it. So it was really true. Edward had proposed. That hadn't been a dream. A wonderful, unbelievable, impossible dream. It had indeed, been reality. "It's so beautiful." I whispered more to myself than anyone, astonishment evident in my tone as I studied the ring.
Edward kissed my hair again. "You're beautiful." He corrected me in a voice barely above a whisper. I said nothing in reply. It seemed he'd taken to telling me this quite often lately. I didn't mind, of course, but it was hard to listen to from someone so perfectly god-like. His fingers entwined in mine on the left hand I was holding up already and his lips went to my ear. "I still can't believe you said yes." He murmured softly.
Now I tilted my head again so I could meet his tender gaze. "You sound surprised." I remarked, perplexed, but he only chuckled softly and shook his head, clearly still in sock. "Alice wasn't sure." He explained quietly. Now he had my full attention. I felt my eyes widen before I asked them to do so and I slid away from him a mere matter of inches on the mattress, just enough to look at him squarely now. "Alice knows?" I demanded, mortified.
Edward shrugged helplessly, still smiling. "How could she not?" He reminded me. "She knew I was going to ask you to marry me, but she was unable to see the outcome of it due to the fact that you hadn't made up your mind yet. So she couldn't tell me what you were going to say. You didn't even know about it until it happened."
I knit my eyebrows together skeptically. "Does she know now?" I wondered aloud.
Edward shrugged a second time. "I couldn't say for certain." He replied, his tone as curious as mine. "It depends on the exact moment you made up your mind. If it was at exactly the same time that you told me, then no, she probably doesn't know. She can only see the future. Not the present. But if you decided before you gave me the word, then she probably saw it coming."
I thought hard when I heard this. I couldn't remember the exact moment. I couldn't remember deciding to say yes…I remembered weighing my options, thinking about how wonderful Edward was and also thinking that I was only eighteen, but it seemed, I was unable to define the exact moment I'd known for certain. It could have been before I supposed…
"What about the rest of your family?" I inquired, still curious.
Edward shook his head. "Unless Alice told them, no." He assured me. "I didn't want to get their hopes up until it was official."
Now I was more confused than ever. "Did you think I was going to say no?" I questioned, desperate for answers now.
Edward looked at me seriously. "Well, you did the last time." He reminded me, his voice still gentle despite his expression.
I rolled my eyes irritably. "Technically, I didn't say no." I reminded him in return. "But I didn't say yes either. I didn't say it because I was still just a young, stupid, human girl with parents to deal with."
Now he looked confused. "So, what's changed then?" He wondered, only thinly veiling the insult that was the undertone in his question. I chose to ignore it and simply answer him, storing the information away in the back of my mind to use against him later. "Well," I sighed smartly, "I will be soon, for one thing. And then I'll probably never see either of my parents again, not to mention any of my friends from school." I caught the guilty expression that tainted his perfect features for just a moment and quickly revised. "But I don't care about any of that stuff, Edward." I assured him gently. "When I'm with you none of it matters. I love Renee and Charlie, but they'll never truly understand who I am. You do. They can never give me my greatest dream. You can. I know they love me, but I love you. Who you are. And I could never give you up for anything in the world."
Edward touched my face just lightly enough to send shivers raining down my spine. Even after all this time, he still made my heart go wild. "Can I ask you a question?" He whispered tenderly in my ear.
I smiled and let my eyes close again. "Anything."
"Why do you love me?"
My eyes snapped open. "What?" I couldn't believe my ears. Was he seriously asking me this question? "Are you kidding?" I demanded, my voice loud now, urgent.
Edward seemed to regroup when he caught the alarm in my tone. "What I mean is," he rephrased quickly, "why me? I don't get it. Of all the boys that asked you out in your first couple of weeks at school here, why did you pick me?" Was I really hearing this?
"You never technically asked me out." I reminded him pointedly.
"No." He agreed. "I didn't."
"Maybe that's why." I mused aloud, remembering that awful week before the school dance, when I'd been asked to it several times over by several boys, one right after the other. "At home no one ever looked at me like I was somebody, you know?" I continued, my expression thoughtful. "And then suddenly, when I came here, it was like I was a supermodel or something, and I didn't care for all the attention." I looked at him. "And then you were there." I pressed on, my tone lightening with some, more happy memory. "You fascinated me. You stayed clear of me when you could, which was enough to catch my attention in itself. None of the boys here seemed to have the same intentions you did. You were only there when I needed you the most. And then I needed you more often…and you were there more often. You were smart and strong and confident. You weren't like anyone I had ever met before. I think I knew I loved you right from the start…even though you could really push my buttons in the beginning."
I laughed heartily and Edward joined in, recalling all those times we'd ended up arguing over some stupid little competition matter long before we were ever an item. My smile faded slowly as I looked at him again. "So why did you choose me?" I asked, genuinely curious now. After all, mine seemed like a much more legitimate question. I never had been able to understand why Edward Cullen, the smartest, best-looking and most desirable boy in school had chosen to go out with me. It had never quite added up. Maybe now was my time to finally get some answers.
Edward looked at me just the same way I had him only moments ago when he'd asked the same question, like he didn't understand how I could even ask such a thing. But I didn't buy it. I needed to hear his reply.
"Well," he shrugged as though it should have been ridiculously obvious, "when I look at you…" he paused, struggling for words, "I mean, look at you."
I blushed a deep shade of crimson but didn't give in that easily. "Come on," I laughed, embarrassed, "why?"
He rolled his eyes and sighed, as though wondering how I could seriously not get this. "I was genuinely intrigued the first time I saw you. Fascinated. Just the fact that I could hear everyone else's superficial, trivial thoughts made me wonder why I couldn't hear the same things going through your head. It made me think that maybe I couldn't hear your thoughts was because you didn't think like that. You were different. You ran deeper than everyone else and that…that amazed me to no end. The more I got to know you the more fascinated I was. You're amazing, Bella. I suppose that's why I chose you. You're beautiful and wonderful and sweet. I don't know what I would do without you." He paused, thoughtful. "Hell, I can't even get the image of you out my head that first day."
I wasn't entirely certain I was buying this. I had to test him, just to be sure he was sincere, although I was fairly certain he was. "Do you…remember what I was wearing?" I questioned, a sly smile working its way onto my features.
Edward laughed. "A white, sleeveless shirt and blue jeans."
I thought my eyebrows might shoot off the top of my head. "Wow." I breathed, more than impressed. "Do you remember the first thing I ever said to you?" I decided to pry the matter until I was satisfied.
Edward laughed again, that chiming, enchanting laugh that I loved so much. "Yeah." He chuckled in reply. "I believe it was a stunning combination of verbal diarrhea and brain freezes."
Now I knew I was blushing furiously. I felt my cheeks grow hot. Oh, crap. I thought, mortified. He remembered. I opened my mouth to say something…anything, but, it seemed, I'd reverted to that first day and was repeating the motions I had gone through during our first ever conversation. But now Edward was roaring with laughter, unconcerned with the volume of his voice in the empty house around us. Then he softened, taking my face in his hands and looking me squarely in the eyes. "And that was the moment I fell in love with you." He whispered.
I felt my heart warm in my ribcage. This made up for everything and more. Just hearing him say those words was worth it all, and because of this, if I could go back and change that first day, I probably wouldn't bother for fear of it changing the events that followed.
I lay my head on his chest again, enjoying the feeling of his cold skin beneath my cheek. I was suddenly and gleefully reminded of the fact that we still had all day together. He didn't have to leave right away the moment I woke up as he normally did. Charlie would be gone until tonight. We could lay here for hours if we wanted to…
I sighed dreamily. "Can we just stay here forever?" I murmured in a voice so low that I had to wonder if he understood me, but, it seemed, he had no trouble doing so. I felt the coolness of his cheek on the top of my head. "That was the plan." He replied softly. And then his attention turned to other matters. "I was thinking, though that later we could tell Carlisle and Esme and everyone about the engagement." He suggested, his voice amused. "They're probably sitting at home staring at the clock, waiting to get to me the moment I walk through the door." Placing one, cool hand on the side of my face again, he lifted my chin so I was looking at him. "Are you up for it?" He asked me.