Disclaimer: Yup, still don't own a scratch of Sonny with a Chance. Or Coca-Cola (Don't you love the glass bottles, though? I think they're so much cooler than cans. But anyway…)
A/N: Hey guys, sorry this is late. Sorority elections (shameless plug for Greek life) took forEVER. Tough stuff. Anyway, this is the Second to Last Installment! Whoo! Thanks for sticking with me :D
Phase Eight: Because Sometimes You Just Have to Spin a Bottle to Get Your Point Across (Kissing Games)
So as totally thrilled as I am that Chad and Sonny are back to normal and Operation: THIS IS LUV: End the Denial is all the way back on track, I can't help but admit this back-to-friendship isn't enough.
We need lip action.
(Yes, I know I've already said that. And I know it didn't work out so well. But this time it will. Because I am brilliant.)
This time, instead of locking them outside in the rain and hoping they'll figure out the kissing thing on their own, we're going back to the basics, back to the beginning, back to the freakin' ABCs of amusing ourselves by making people kiss.
And by people I mean Chad and Sonny.
Phase Eight? We're playing Spin the Bottle.
"Zora?" I throw a container of Sonny's lip gloss to knock on the air vent, and it slides open to reveal Zora's inquisitive, evil little face. I give her my sweetest smile possible. "Can you do me a favor?"
She wrinkles her nose. "I don't do favors," she says, "but I'll do exchanges. What do you need?"
I show her the glass Coke bottle I'm holding. "I need this fixed."
Zora pushes herself up on her elbows, interested. "For what?"
I'm not sure how much I can trust this little monster, so I shrug secretively. "Something."
Her elfin face twitches into a little smirk. Seriously, creepy. "Cool," she says with an affirmative nod, and reaches for the bottle.
Before I hand it over, though, I realize I have to tell her what exactly needs fixed, or else she might fix it wrong. And that would be bad. "But you have to fix it so that whenever Sonny spins the bottle it lands on Chad."
Zora's smirk disappears and she gives me a disdain-y look. "You're making them play Spin the Bottle?" she says in a tone that matches her face.
I'm a little offended. Because it's a genius idea. "Yeah," I say, pouting a tiny bit. "They won't kiss on their own and so they're never going to if I don't do something about it?"
She rolls her eyes and I think the thing is going to give me a lecture, but thankfully she refrains and just shakes her head. "Yeah, okay, I'll do it," she says, and grabs the bottle.
"Yay!" I say, clapping. Now we're talking!
Zora slams the vent shut, and that's when I remember she wants an exchange. So I throw the lip gloss at the vent again.
She whips it open so fast it's scary. "What?" she asks me testily.
I back up a teensy bit. "Um, you said you don't do favors, but you'll do exchanges?" I remind her.
An evil little smile covers her face like a rash. "No worries," she assures me with a little wave of her hand. "I'll do this one for free."
And before I can say anything else, she slams the vent shut again.
Well, that was weird. Whatever. Time to round up the troops.
"Okay, um, Tawni, what are we doing?" Sonny asks me warily. We're all in the Prop House: me, Sonny, Nico and Grady, Chad, and Portlyn. I don't know where Zora is, and I don't care where anybody else is.
The plan is this: Sonny goes first. The bottle lands on Chad. They kiss. Hopefully the fireworks go off or whatever and they make out as the rest of us quietly leave.
If not that time, Chad's next, and it lands on Sonny. They kiss again, and with any luck they'll get their act together the second time around.
Foolproof.
"I think it's pretty obvious," I say, like she's some kind of moron (because let's face it, she kind of is).
But everyone's looking at me like I'm the moron. "Spin the Bottle?" Nico says, his lip curled a little. "Dude, what if when I spin it it lands on you or Grady or Sonny or Chad?" He shudders.
Portlyn looks disgusted. "Ew!" she shrieks, moving to stand up.
But Chad grabs her hand and yanks her back down. "Aw, c'mon, Portlyn, don't be such a baby," he says with that dumb signature smirk. "Playing stupid games makes the Randoms feel better about themselves," he adds condescendingly.
We stick our tongues out at him, but he just rolls his eyes. "Whatever," I say, like I don't care what Chad thinks. Because, frankly, I don't. I just want him to admit he's in love with Sonny. "Sonny, you go first." I hand her the doctored bottle and hide my smile.
Sonny eyes the bottle and looks slightly sick to her stomach. "Do I have to?" she pleads, turning her big ol' doe eyes at me.
I make a big show of rolling my eyes. "Don't be a baby, Sonny," I sigh. "Will you just spin?"
She gives the bottle an up-and-down, like she's afraid it's going to bite her. Then slowly—ridiculously slowly, might I add—she lays it down in the middle of the circle and taps the lip of the thing with her finger to make it spin.
She taps it left, and Chad's on her right, and even though I know Zora fixed the bottle to land on Chad, I'm not sure how such a light flick is going to get the mouth of the bottle all the way around the circle.
But before I can worry too much, the bottle zings around like lightning and like a magnet it lands on Chad.
No, I don't mean points at Chad. I mean lands on. Somehow, the bottle wings up and whacks him in the chest and sticks there. "Uh!" Chad says in surprise and maybe a little bit of pain. I mean, that thing flew.
Nico and Grady burst out laughing. Portlyn isn't even paying attention. Sonny's face turns bright red and I think I could get a tan from her blush-heat.
Meanwhile, Chad is trying to pry the bottle off his chest. And it's not coming. He manages to pull it, like, an inch away, but immediately it flies back at him.
I pretend like this isn't maybe a tiny bit strange, and so I laugh. "I think the bottle's pretty clear."
Sonny, meanwhile, is blushing even harder, if that's possible. She's trying to help Chad get the bottle off his chest, but—oh, this would be perfect if it wasn't so weird—the other half of the bottle decides to be magnetically attracted to Sonny's shirt, and she's pulled into Chad, the bottle the only thing separating their torsos.
Nico and Grady can't stop laughing at this ridiculousness, and to be totally honest, I have no idea how this is going to turn out.
I mean, picture it: Sonny and Chad are attached at the chest by a soda bottle, struggling like no other. I mean, literally, they're on their knees in front of each other. Well, actually, because of the bottle thing, their legs are sort of…intertwined. You know, one of Chad's knees is between Sonny's legs, and vice versa.
The funny part, as well as the frustrating part, is that they're determined not to look at each other—since they're attached so closely, if they did they'd pretty much be kissing.
Which is what I want. But whatever, nobody seems to care what I want.
So Chad and Sonny continue to struggle against the magnetic force pulling them together (analogy and physics! Take that, Ms. Bitterman!) and I just want to know how this is going to end. None of us are doing anything to help them; we want to see how this turns out.
Finally Sonny makes a hmmm face and sticks her hand up Chad's shirt. He looks shocked and lets out a "What—?", and I can't blame him.
Of course, he doesn't pull away, either. Ha!
What is she doing? Her hand is moving around inside Chad's shirt, and finally she lets out an "Aha!" and pulls out this magnet thing. Immediately the magnet yanks to the bottle, and Chad is free. "This magnet was stuck in your shirt," she explains (umm. Duh?). "And the bottle was magnetic." She looks confused. "Somehow."
The bottle's still stuck to her, obviously, and Chad smirks at her. "Want me to get the magnet out of your shirt for you?"
Sonny blushes again and shoots him a glare. "I got it, Chad, thanks," she manages to say scathingly, and Chad shrugs in a you're missing out, but okay kind of way.
Trying (and failing) to maintain her dignity, Sonny reaches up inside her own shirt and finds the hidden magnet, pulling it out and releasing her from the magnetic grip. Setting the bottle on the ground in front of me, she stands, straightening herself. She says, "Spin the Bottle, Tawni? Really? This is so stupid," and marches out.
Chad follows her—well, he tries to make it look nonchalant and like he just happens to be leaving right after Sonny, but it's so obvious he's following her. Except that he goes in the opposite direction. But whatever.
Seeing the game is apparently over, Portlyn stalks out with a flip of her (ugly) hair without a word or glance at anyone. Normally I'd be annoyed by that, but let's face it; she's totally jealous of my hair. Who wouldn't be, though, right?
Nico and Grady kind of wander off too, so I'm by myself in the Prop House. I stare at the bottle in front of me, not really sure how to classify Phase Eight.
I hear a giggle, and I know Zora's hidden somewhere in the room. Because she's a creeper like that.
"I didn't mean literally!" I tell the empty room, and the giggling turns into full-out laughter.