Chapter 10 – Push
Still trembling, I slowly made my way back downstairs to where Charlie was on the couch watching tv.
"Daddy?" I pleaded. I felt like an infant, but I couldn't stop the hot tears that leaked from my eyes. James made me feel so vulnerable and helpless… so out of control.
Immediately shutting off the television, Charlie came and put his arms around me awkwardly. "What's wrong, Bella?" he asked. "Whatever it is, maybe I can help."
Determined to be strong, I quieted my sobs and cleared my throat so I could speak. "Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, James, the one from Phoenix?"
"Yeah, you may have mentioned him a couple of times. Did you two break up or something?" Charlie asked, clearly uncomfortable.
"I broke up with him before I left Phoenix. That's actually when the trouble started…" I hesitated, knowing that my dad would be upset that Renee and I hadn't told him about this earlier.
"What kind of trouble, exactly?" he asked gruffly, in the tone he usually reserved for police-related business.
"You should probably sit down, Dad," I began. We sat down on the couch and he looked at me suspiciously. We both knew he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear. "After the breakup, James started harassing me. He couldn't deal with the rejection, and he resorted to threatening me. He followed me around at school, but when he showed up at the house one night, it was the last straw. I got a restraining order against him, and he's not supposed to come near me or contact me for any reason."
Charlie's face turned red and he let out a long hiss of air. "Why the hell didn't you and your mother tell me about this?" he grumbled. "I'd have driven down there with the shotgun and taken care of the problem myself."
"That's exactly why we decided not to tell you, Dad. I knew you'd overreact, and I just didn't want you to worry. The restraining order seemed to keep him away, and I was moving here soon. I thought for sure I'd never have to worry about James again…" I couldn't keep the panic from creeping into my voice.
"But, what?" he asked gruffly.
"But," I answered, sighing, "it's happening again." Charlie's face went from red to purple, but he was silent. "James knows I'm in Forks, and he's threatening to come after me. I think he means it, and I'm scared," I admitted.
Charlie scratched his chin, thinking. He stood, immediately transitioning into Chief Swan mode. "Don't you worry about him, Bells, your old man will take care of this. We'll go down to the station first thing in the morning to file the necessary paperwork. It sounds like James is in violation of the restraining order, but I'll need to take a look at it so we can decide how to proceed."
"Thanks, Dad," I sighed, feeling a little better. At least he didn't bring up the idea of getting me a police escort!
"I also think we should have an on-duty officer with you at all times," he added. Perfect. My humiliation will be complete.
"Chaaaarlie," I whined childishly, "Do you really think that's necessary?"
"I'm not willing to take any chances, Bell," he responded with a note of finality.
I decided to switch tactics. "The Forks PD only has four deputies besides you, Dad. It would be a real waste of city resources to have 20% of your police force following me back and forth from school," I said reasonably.
"Hhmph," he grunted in response. "I'm the Chief and I decide what is or isn't a waste of resources."
"Fine," I said, "but this discussion is not over. And thanks, Dad. I really do feel better now."
"Sure thing, Bell," he replied, awkwardly patting the top of my head. "We're leaving for the station at 7 am tomorrow, so make sure you're ready to go."
"Okay," I sighed, heading back up the stairs to my bedroom.
I couldn't help but worry about what Edward would think when I told him about James. I was pretty certain that he'd have lots of questions, and I didn't really feel comfortable talking about it yet, not even with him. There was a possibility that he could decide that my problems were too much to deal with and start avoiding me altogether and I honestly couldn't blame him if he did. I would just have to be totally honest with him and hope that wouldn't be the case.
***
Sunglasses on, travel coffee mug in hand, and sour expression on my face, I looked every bit the petulant teenager that I strived not to be as we pulled up to the police station in Charlie's cruiser. I couldn't help my bad mood, though. Not only did I have to get up at the asscrack of dawn (which I hated), but I had to ride shotgun in the police cruiser (which I also hated). Plus, I had to miss school. Normally I wouldn't mind, but now that it meant I'd be missing a few hours of sideways glances and knowing smiles from the sexiest man in the known universe, I was pissed. I'll never get that lost time back! I wonder if he's noticed that I'm not at school yet…
I spent the next few hours answering questions for the police report and describing in detail my recent interactions with James. Charlie was angry that I didn't tell him about the phone calls sooner, but I explained that I had been sure James was bluffing. I was free to go at lunchtime, so Deputy Mark drove me home to my car then followed me to school. This whole police escort thing is going to get old fast.
I saw that I'd missed a couple of texts while I was at the station, but I figured I'd just look at them later, because I really wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone. When I made my way into the school, I was just in time to catch the tail end of Spanish class. I walked in to take my usual seat behind Jessica, and her head was turned to talk to some girl whose name I couldn't remember.
"Yeah, she's been out the whole morning," I heard Jess say. "I think she had to go to the doctor to get an STD screen or something," Jessica commented, giggling.
I coughed loudly, taking my seat.
"Oh, Bella!" she exclaimed when she saw me. "How's it going?"
"I'm clean," I replied, loudly enough that the other girl could hear me. "But the doc asked me to tell you that you should definitely come in and get some cream for that rash. It sounds serious."
Jessica blanched and the girl beside her snickered. There goes your social life, bitch.
I stomped to lunch, wishing that I'd convinced Charlie to let me stay home for the rest of the afternoon. Suddenly I was not in the mood to deal with high school, and I feared for the life of the next bitch who tried to cross me.
I entered the cafeteria, grumpy and fed-up. And then I saw Edward. He was staring directly at me, with his concerned green eyes and messy bronze hair and pouty mouth. I looked at him and everything else disappeared – James and his threats, my morning in the police station, my gossipy classmates – it was only he and I. My heart gave a little tug and it was then that I knew… I was absolutely crazy for this boy.
Without thinking, I walked right over to him, grabbed a generous handful of his beautiful hair, and pressed my lips eagerly to his. Sighing at the contact, I traced my tongue lightly along his lips. Nnngh, Edward. I needed him so badly—I needed to feel the wet warmth of his tongue on mine. Lightly holding his strong jaw with one hand, I tilted his head to the side and when his full lips parted slightly, I licked inside his open mouth. His soft little moan was nearly my undoing.
A low whistle from somewhere behind me startled me out of my trance. I dropped down in the empty chair beside Edward, mortified. I intently studied the table, my cheeks burning. The burning sensation between my legs was measurably worse.
Of course, Emmett started in on me immediately. "Damn, Bella!" he chortled admiringly. "That was the dirtiest thing I've ever seen anyone do with their clothes on! Good thing the administrators didn't see that."
I gasped then looked around frantically, trying to ascertain whether any of the teachers in the cafeteria had seen my little display. There was only one faculty member in the cafeteria and her back was turned to our table. She was talking to someone – Alice!
"Thank God for Alice," I muttered, still looking down at the table.
"Yes, she has a knack for being in the right place at the right time," Edward chuckled. "Maybe she really is psychic."
"Maybe," I agreed.
"Bella?" Edward said softly, tilting my chin up so I was forced to look at him. "What's the matter? I was worried about you when you didn't show up for class this morning. I thought perhaps you were sick, and then when you came into the cafeteria, you looked so upset." He blushed slightly. "And then this… unusual greeting. Not that I'm complaining, of course," he said, flashing me a lopsided smile.
"I had a bit of a rough morning," I admitted vaguely. "Then I saw you, and it was like it all just went away. I felt a strange little tugging sensation in my heart, pulling me towards you. I needed to touch your skin, to taste your mouth… I couldn't even control myself," I said, dropping my head back down to the table. What the fuck? Did someone shoot me up with truth serum while my head was turned?
"It seems to me that your heart isn't the only organ that's interested in Eddie," Emmett interjected suggestively.
I couldn't help but laugh, because he was absolutely right, though not in the way he intended. My heart, mind, and body (yes, including my girly parts) were all drawn to Edward in ways I couldn't even begin to understand.
The sardonic, jaded little voice in my head reminded me that all I could do was enjoy it while it lasted. Our happiness was a fragile bubble—I couldn't shake the feeling that it could pop at any moment and he'd go back to being the cold, hard person who I'd met on that first day. I just prayed he wouldn't break my heart.
I reached under the table tentatively and found Edward's large, smooth hand. I wrapped my fingers around it then looked up at him, searching his eyes for permission. His gaze was warm and reassuring and he turned his palm over, taking my hand in his and squeezing it lightly. I let out a little sigh of relief, and the inexplicable energy that flowed from his skin to mine soothed me. I closed my eyes. I was in heaven and Edward was my angel. Any amount of heartache down the road would be worth it, just for this one perfect moment.
Edward was still holding my hand as we walked down the hallway to Biology. Our open display of affection hadn't gone unnoticed, and we were the subject of hushed conversations and open stares. I guess our relationship has gone public. Does this mean we're dating?
As we entered the Biology classroom and took our seats, I realized that I had a goofy grin plastered on my face. Even though I knew I probably looked like the Village Idiot, I couldn't seem stop. I glanced over at Edward, noting that he wore a similar expression. But his carefree smile was crooked and dazzling, and I found it difficult to look away.
The lecture started, and Edward and I didn't talk much because Banner was obviously in a bad mood about something. Halfway through the class, a piece of notebook paper landed on top of my lecture notes. It contained a single sentence written in Edward's flawless script.
Are you ever going to talk to me about what's going on with you, Bella?
I knew I was going to have to face this soon but I needed to get my thoughts together first. Sighing, I scrawled a note back to him in my own loopy hand.
I'll tell you everything soon… I just need a little more time. How about we talk about it on Friday night? I'm not so sure I'll be able to take you to the party anymore, though.
He just nodded to me, seemingly satisfied with my answer. Our conversation reminded me – I needed to tell Jacob that I probably wouldn't be able to make it to the party. I couldn't imagine Charlie letting me go out there, what with my police escort and everything. I got out my phone to send a covert text to Jake.
more trouble with james. charlie knows. he prob won't let me come to ur party - sorry :(
My phone buzzed right away with his response.
that sucks. u ok? call me later
I called Jake that afternoon and told him about everything that had happened. After we talked, he somehow convinced Charlie to let me come out to La Push on Friday night. He made a good point, saying that even if James showed up in person, he'd be no match for a handful of overgrown Quileute boys. Charlie trusted Jacob, and he had to agree that I'd be just as safe on the reservation with Jake and his friends as with the overweight yet well-intentioned Deputy Mark.
I was distracted all week. To make matters worse, the police car following me to and from school didn't escape anyone's notice. The rumors about me ranged from a raging heroin addiction to grand theft auto. Some creative soul even invented a story about my gang involvement back in Phoenix. To my surprise, the outlandish rumors didn't make people try to avoid me—if anything, I became more popular. Great.
Friday arrived before I knew it and I was still really worried about my impending discussion with Edward. I had a feeling that he wouldn't take it well, but I had no idea what to expect. I decided to just tell him and let the cards fall where they may.
The evening was unseasonably warm, so I dressed for the party in a tiny pair of white cotton shorts, a slim-fitting black hoodie, and black sandals. I left my hair down in soft waves because I knew the salty breeze would eventually make it a windblown mess anyway. As I drove out to Edward's house to pick him up, I felt an uncomfortable mixture of nervous excitement and outright panic. I really hoped that he and Jake would get along, and it made me a little nervous to know that I'd be introducing them soon. I'd also told Edward that we would 'talk' tonight but I was dreading telling him about James.
Edward was on the porch waiting for me, looking downright edible in a slim grey hoodie, jeans, and a pair of sandals. I had to smirk at the way we always tended to match. When he pulled open the passenger door and slid into the seat, my nervousness evaporated. I had my favorite person (Edward) with me in my favorite place (the Audi) and for however fleeting a moment, my perfect little world was complete. He smiled and it occurred to me that I'd do just about anything to see that lopsided grin. Quit looking at him and drive, already!
As much as I wanted to spend the evening gawking at him wordlessly, I decided to make conversation. "So I take it this will be your first time going out to the La Push reservation?" I asked.
"Yes, I haven't had cause to venture out there until tonight," he responded.
"I think you'll like it," I said with a smile. "I used to spend a lot of time there as a kid when I was visiting Charlie. He would always drag me out to First Beach to go fishing… that is, until I got old enough to put my foot down."
Edward chuckled lightly. "So who is this 'old friend' you mentioned?" he asked.
"His name is Jacob Black. Jake and I—we kind of grew up together," I added, glancing over at Edward. He looked… pensive. "Billy Black, Jake's dad, has been Charlie's best friend for years. They're practically like family to us."
"I see. And Jake is hosting this party?"
"Yep, Jake and the rest of the Quileute boys. There is a handful of guys on the reservation around Jake's age, and I've known them all for years. It's funny, though… when I moved back, I didn't even recognize any of them! I'd say not one of those boys is under six feet tall. They say it's just the old Quileute warrior genes, but I'm thinking someone's been spiking the drinking water with human growth hormone," I said with a laugh.
"So, they're all as big as Jacob?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah—wait, when did you see Jake?" I questioned, puzzled.
"I, uh, saw him when he dropped you off for school the one day," Edward mumbled, looking down.
We didn't say anything else as I pulled the car into the little parking area facing First Beach. The sun was setting over the water and blue flames from the driftwood bonfire licked at the sky. Just as I gasped at the beauty of it, Edward reached over and took my hand. Smiling, I turned to gauge his reaction to the breathtaking scene before us, but I don't think he even saw it. He was gazing at me.
Wow. Just, wow.
We got out of the car and I slipped my hand in his as we walked over to the beach. The party was already in full swing, with a mixture of kids from Forks and La Push talking and laughing in little groups. Some people held red plastic cups of what I figured was Warrior Punch, a noxious mixture of cherry kool-aid, everclear, and God knows what else mixed together in an appetizing 20-gallon trash can.
"Drinks are in the trashcan, if you're interested," I said, playfully nudging Edward with my elbow.
"Uh, no thanks. Drinks from a bathtub are where I draw the line. You go ahead, though," he teased.
I shrugged. "Nah. Underage drinking is not really my thing. It probably has something to do with being the Police Chief's daughter and all." Edward cocked one perfect eyebrow in my direction. For once, I knew what he was thinking. "Yeah, yeah, I realize that I'm breaking the law every time I speed. I figure I can at least make an effort to obey the others."
Edward laughed at my explanation and I smiled at the beautiful sound. A looming shadow appeared out of nowhere and before I even had a chance to blink, my hand was pulled from Edward's as I flew up into the air. Seconds later, I realized what was happening.
"Jacob Black, I swear, if you don't put me down right now you'll regret it!" I threatened as he swung me around over his shoulder.
"Ooh," Jake teased, "I'm so scared. What are you gonna do about it, twerp?"
"I'll give you a 'This is Sparta' kick to the nuts! And you know I'm the perfect height for it…" I warned.
Jake considered that one for about three seconds then sat me upright on the sand. I glanced to Edward, who was still standing nearby. His eyes were narrowed and he was clearly not amused. We're already off to a great start!
"So, Jake, I'd like you to meet my, uh… Edward Cullen," I stuttered. My Edward Cullen? My idiocy knows no bounds. "Edward, this is Jacob Black."
Stepping forward, Edward reached out and Jake shook his hand firmly. They both winced slightly and I could only roll my eyes. Stupid man-politics.
"I hear you and Bella are old friends?" Edward asked politely.
"Yep. We used to make mud pies together," Jake said, laughing and turning to wink at me. "I've heard a lot about you as well," Jake added, shooting Edward a pointed glance. Awk-ward.
Sick of the weird showdown that was going on between the two of them, I broke it up. "I see some friends of ours over there, so we're going to go say hi. I'll catch up with you a little later, though, Jake," I said, hoping he would understand.
Jacob seemed to get it, and he smiled. "Well, nice to meet you, Edward. Bells—I'll be around," he said then turned to greet a bunch of kids who were coming up the beach.
Trying to ignore the uncomfortable start, I practically pulled Edward over to a group of barely-tolerable people. Mike stood with his arm around Jessica, trying to look down her shirt while she was busy angling herself to give him the best possible view. As I approached with Edward in tow, Mike dropped his arm from her shoulder instantly. "Bella, you made it!" he said, stepping forward to hug me as I stiffened in horror. Fortunately, Edward stepped in front of me and gave Mike a withering glare, halting him in his tracks.
"Hey, Mike," I said, doing a poor job of faking enthusiasm. "Hi Jess," I added, noticing that she was regarding me with a dirty look. Maybe this party was a really, really bad idea.
Before I was forced to make small talk with them, a huge brown hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me away from the group. Again, I dragged Edward along with me. The owner of the hand was Quil, one of Jake's friends from school. He wasn't quite as tall as Jake (only a measly 6'0" or so) but he was thicker, with bulky muscles banding his upper body.
Giving Edward a suspicious look, Quil leaned in to me and spoke in a low tone. "Don't you worry about a thing, Bells. As long as you're here, you're safe. Me and the boys have got this."
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Edward looked pissed. "Thanks, Quil. Hopefully that's not necessary, but I appreciate it," I said quietly. Quil just nodded and went to rejoin the party.
I didn't know what Edward's deal was, but I couldn't take it anymore. If the problem was jealousy, he should be informed that that shit did not fly with me. "What the fuck is with the attitude, Edward?" I asked sharply, dropping his hand.
He glared at me. "If one more of your… acquaintances puts their fucking hands on you, I swear to God I'm going to lose it," he spoke in a growl.
Jake must have noticed our heated discussion, because he came marching over. "Is there a problem, here, Bella?" he asked protectively.
"No, Jake—" I began, but I was cut off by the ringing of my cell phone in my pocket. I looked at the phone and all of the blood drained from my face. The screen identified the incoming call as unknown, but I knew exactly who was calling. My hand started to tremble as I moved to silence the call.
"It's him, isn't it?" Jake practically yelled. "Give it to me! I'll talk to that motherfucker." He reached for my phone, but I pulled it away, panicking. I just wanted to ignore James in hopes that he'd give up.
Making the decision for me, Jake pinned my body to his with one long arm, easily reaching my phone with his other hand and pulling it forcibly from my grasp. Releasing me, he moved to answer my phone, but it suddenly disappeared from his hand. Edward stuffed my cell phone into his pocket and regarded Jake with a look of disgust and fury. This is so not good.
So fast that his movement barely registered in my vision, Edward threw a right hook. His fist collided solidly with Jacob's jaw, sending Jake's huge frame toppling backwards into the sand. I heard someone scream—maybe it was me. Jake sat up, rubbing his angular jaw and cursing under his breath. I winced as he spat a mouthful of dark blood onto the sand. He took barely a moment to collect himself then returned to his feet, his dark eyes filled with rage.
I looked back and forth between him and Edward, horrified. I could tell by Jacob's face that he had every intention of retaliating, but I had no idea how far it would go. He stepped up suddenly, sticking his chest out and coming practically chin-to-nose with Edward. Desperate to stop this, I stepped between them, separating them with a hand on each of their hard-muscled chests. Jake seemed to react to my touch immediately, his breath slowing. After all these years, I knew how to deal with Jake when he was angry—I knew just what to say and do to make him calm down.
Edward, on the other hand, was a wildcard. His moods and reactions were always so unpredictable. Glaring at Jake through cold green eyes, Edward looked dangerous. I realized in that moment how little I actually knew him and the very thought twisted my stomach into a tight little knot of despair.
Making a snap decision, I turned to Jacob, pushing him backwards with all my strength. He yielded to me, stepping back in the sand, but he continued to glare angrily over my head, his fists clenched at his sides. Hoping frantically that I could get through to him, I placed my small hands on either side of Jake's face, tilting it down so he was forced to meet my eyes.
"Jake," I pleaded, "don't do this. I need you to stop." His black eyes were still alight with rage, his nostrils flared, but he didn't break my gaze. I spoke slowly, still holding his face. "I know he started it, but you can finish it. Just walk away, Jake, please. For me." By some miracle, Jacob nodded. Without glancing at Edward, he turned and walked away, and I've never been prouder of him than I was at that moment.
Turning to Edward, I saw that the cold fury had drained from his eyes. His expression looked… defeated. "Edward," I said, pulling him close to me without even meaning to. I was angry and hurt that he had lashed out like that and still frightened by the murderous look I'd seen in his eyes, but those feelings were overtaken by the magnetic pull of my body to his. He let me hold him but didn't wrap his arms around me. Pulling back, I looked to him questioningly and gasped at what I saw in his eyes. Sadness. Anger. Longing. Betrayal. I was shocked by the intensity of the emotions conveyed so brutally by his gaze. I didn't understand.
"Edward?" I asked brokenly, "What are you thinking right now?"
He didn't say a word. Instead, he simply turned his back on me and walked away. Again. Left in his wake, I dropped to my knees in the sand and began to fall apart.