Exhaustion. The kind that made every part of his body seem heavy. The kind that made him wonder "When did I get this old?" He might not be able to get up from the steps he was sitting on. He might not be able to lift his arms tomorrow. Or get out of bed. Ever.
Walt needed this break. Away from the commotion going on inside. But there was still a spark inside him. Keeping him going. And it brought a smile to his face. A smile, despite his exhaustion. Or maybe because of his exhaustion. A smile that he wouldn't let Henry see.
The screen door suddenly swung open, causing Walt to look up.
"Oh…Walt. Hi. I…I was just…taking off."
"Hi Ferg…sure…not a problem. You've gone above and beyond today."
"Oh…it was nothing…I was happy to help."
"Well I'm glad Cady was able to convince you to join us."
"Cady…yes. She's very…convincing," Ferg said with a smile.
Walt continued to look at Ferg, his eyes squinting. There was something in Ferg's expression. In his eyes. Something that Walt's tired brain couldn't quite piece together. Walt thought he'd have to get to the bottom of whatever that was. That was if his body was going to recover and allow him to go back to work tomorrow, where he could assess the situation further. But not now.
"Well…goodbye Walt," Ferg said looking down at him, and then moving down the steps and towards his car.
Walt looked out at Ferg. He knew what he needed to do but he didn't know if his legs would cooperate.
"Uh…Ferg…wait," Walt called out, forcing himself up, and down the steps. He caught up to Ferg, his deputy, who stood outside his car, a look of confusion on his face.
"Uh…before you leave…umm…I just wanted to…I just wanted to…uh…apologize."
Ferg remained silent, his confusion growing.
"Umm…it's been…we've all had a rough…you've had to put up with a lot this year. From all of us. From me especially. I took things out on you. That you did not deserve. Like the situation with the desk. That was uncalled for. And I apologize. I should have apologized earlier, but I was wrapped up in things. For which I also apologize."
Ferg looked a little uncomfortable, but he let Walt continue.
"You were quite instrumental in solving some of our critical cases recently. I was also impressed, that despite everything we were putting you through or not involving you in, you were brave enough to stand up for yourself. I didn't give you the credit you deserved…and I…uh…I want you to know that you are a valued member of the team…and things are going to be…different…going forward."
He could tell Ferg was a bit shocked by his admission. Walt stuck his hand out.
"Will you accept my apology, Ferg?" he asked.
Ferg hesitated a moment, and then grabbed Walt's hand and shook it, a smile appearing on his face. Walt clapped Ferg on the shoulder with his left hand.
"Thanks, again. You didn't need to help me out today, after all I have put you through. But you did. And I greatly appreciate it," Walt said sincerely.
"You're welcome. I'll…uh…I'll see you at work tomorrow," Ferg said, and then stepped into his car. Walt closed the door for him, tapped the top of the car, and then waved goodbye. He watched Ferg's car drive off down the road.
Walt turned, heading back. As he convinced his legs to take him back up the steps, he raised his eyes and saw Cady standing just inside the door.
"Hey Punk. How long have you been standing there?"
"Sorry. Didn't mean to spy on you. I didn't realize you were out here with Ferg."
Cady stepped out of the cabin, two cups of coffee in her hands. She handed one to him, and then took a seat at the top of the steps. He slowly sat down beside her.
"How are you doing Dad?"
Walt looked over at Cady, taking her in. He smiled. "It's been a good day. Tiring, but good. I'll be the first to admit that I am surprised by this."
"The fact that you are admitting it definitely says something. We ambushed you, and you have taken it very well," she said with a laugh.
"I'll deny it if you repeat any of this to Henry," he said, smiling back.
Cady raised her coffee cup to her lips, looking at him over the rim.
"Something is different about you Dad. Like a huge weight has been lifted. You seem more open…to life. I think it's great."
"I'm guessing you know about Henry's plan for the two of us."
"I do. And I've got to tell you that I'm impressed with the progress you've made already. In every category."
Walt looked at Cady without speaking for a moment. He reached out his hand and grabbed hers.
"Cady, there is so much I want to say to you. You have done so much for me. Not just this home improvement stuff today, but everything. You gave up your career, and moved back to Durant to help me after your mother's death…even though I pushed you away. Kept you at arms-length. Kept secrets from you. Unable to let you help me the way you wanted to. The way I needed you to."
Walt's eyes began to water, and Cady's quickly did the same.
"I've hurt you, and I am sorry for this. I thought I was protecting you, but I think I was trying to protect myself. Protect my heart. My damaged heart that I thought couldn't take any more and was beyond repair."
"Dad, you were right. Knowing the truth...about how Mom died…was devastating. It tore me up. It's torn all of us up. But I think we are also stronger, because it brought us together. To share the burden…and find justice for her and Henry."
He ran his thumb along her cheek as a tear escaped.
"I want to be a better father. I want us to move forward, together."
"Me too Dad."
She put her mug down, reached over, and put her arms around him. He returned the hug, kissing the top of her head. They sat like that for a while.
Cady finally pulled back, wiped her eyes and smiled.
"How's the bedroom coming along?" he asked.
"We finished…and it looks great. Ferg helped me get some of your old furniture out of your shed. And Dave helped me complete the walls and ceiling in the closets, and put in the shelving installations. It looks great, if I must say so."
"Of course it does. Thanks for all you've done today. For convincing me to do this."
"You should go and take a look. I also…in the spirit of the "Be more open" goal in your plan, I want you to keep an open mind. I put some things up on your walls. Which I hope you will like. And I…I put some new items in your closet…some new clothes," she said.
"I don't need…" he began to say.
"I understand if you don't want to wear them. I'm not saying you have to. But I wanted you to have them. Just in case. Just in case an occasion arose. As you work on your plan, there may be a special occasion where you wished you had something to go along with the new you…something special…to wear. So they can sit at the back of your closet. But they'll be there…if you need them."
Walt looked down at his hands.
"Ok. Thanks."
"And Dad…" Cady paused, waiting for him to look up. "I know that you don't need my permission or my approval…but I think that you think that you do. So I give it to you. In regards to Vic."
"Vic?" he asked.
"She told me about her pending divorce. That she and Sean have been separated for a while. I've sensed something between the two of you. I did tell you to find someone like Vic, but I now want to amend that and say that that person should be Vic."
Walt neither responded nor objected.
"I believe that she is partly responsible for why you've made so much progress these past few months," Cady added.
He looked over at her. Silence engulfed them, but it was not the silence that used to settle between them. Heavy. A barrier. This silence was hopeful. Encouraging. Freeing.
"She is," he finally said. "And you're right. She means something to me. I'm not trying to keep things from you. I'm still trying to figure it all out."
"You don't have to tell me everything. Believe me, I don't want to know everything," she said with a smile. "But I'm here if you want to talk more about it. About her. About the two of you."
Walt put his arm around her and pulled her to him. "Thanks Punk."
After a moment Cady stood up.
"Alright, I'm going to bring some of these boxes into the kitchen and start unpacking. I peaked in earlier. You, Ferg and John did a fantastic job."
Cady picked up one of the boxes from the pile. As she held the door open, she looked over at him and smiled, and then disappeared inside.
Walt looked out before him. He thought about Cady. And Ferg. And the burden that had begun to lift with just two short conversations. He thought about Vic. About conversations not yet held. A sound interrupted his train of thought. He heard Henry before he saw him.
"I will bring it in," Henry called out over his shoulder as he walked out on to the porch. He moved to look through a few boxes before selecting one and picking it up. It wasn't until he turned back towards the door that he saw Walt.
He smiled down at Walt. "Have we worn you out?" Henry asked.
"Yes."
"Have you given up?"
Walt paused. "No. Just resting."
"Good. You made huge progress today, getting your house in order. It took a little manipulation on Cady's and my part, but you own this success."
"I'm glad you are admitting that you did a little manipulation. Somehow that seemed to slip your mind this morning when I called you out on it," Walt said. "What do I owe the three men you brought with you to help us out?"
"You needed their help with the plumbing, electrical wiring, and all the work we needed to do," Henry began to defend his decision.
"I'm not disagreeing that they were needed. They were. I'm just asking how much their contribution will set me back," Walt said, standing up.
"I told them to send you an invoice. They did great work, but their price will be fair."
"I don't doubt it," Walt agreed. He paused, looking Henry directly in the eyes. "Thanks Henry."
Henry shifted the box to one arm and then pulled Walt in for a quick hug and thump on the back.
Pulling back and re-adjusting the box, he smiled at his friend. "You deserve all of this. No need to thank me."
Henry turned to head back in, but then looked back at Walt. "You should go check out what Vic, Richard and I accomplished in the bathroom. You should be proud of your woman…she knows her way around a tool belt."
"She's not my woman."
"Yet," Henry said with a smile, letting the screen door close behind him.
Walt looked at the remaining items still on his porch, and then opened the door to step inside, nearly colliding with Vic.
"Walt!" she exclaimed. "Just the person I was looking for. Are you ready to see your brand new bathroom?"
"Sure."
"Close your eyes."
He did as instructed, and then Vic guided him through his bedroom and into the bathroom.
"Ok." When he opened his eyes, her face was beaming. He was barely listening as she verbally walked him through the work they had done. He watched her as she described the new fixtures. Watched her face. Her eyes. Her mouth. Her hands as she waved them around in her excitement. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and he found he matched her smile for smile. He registered that the walls looked the way walls should actually look. Solid. Complete. But everything else was a blur. Only she was in focus. Their eyes connected as she finished talking.
"What do you think?" she asked.
"Beautiful," he responded.
Vic blushed. "I didn't do it alone. It was a group effort," she explained.
"The bathroom looks great too," he said.
Vic blushed further, her eyes shining brightly. He breathed in. And out. He was sure Vic could hear his heart beating. The pace quickening. He took a step toward her.
"So what do you think? Did we do you proud?" Henry's questions cut through the silence from the other room.
Walt shifted his weight back toward his heals. Vic dropped her eyes, and then pulled the door fully open.
"He hates it, and wants us to put it back to how it was before," she called out to Henry, stepping out of the bathroom.
"That is not an option," Henry responded with a laugh.
Walt took a breath, settling his nerves. She looked back through the doorway at him and gave a shy smile.
"Should we check out what Cady did with your bedroom?"
He nodded, unsure whether his voice would betray him.
She pulled him into the bedroom, and then stopped in her tracks. Walt stepped beside her to see what she was looking at. A bookshelf loaded with his books. The crates next to his bed gone, two bed end tables in their place. His old reading chair, sitting there like it had been there all along. And a new quilt. Exuding comfort. Warmth. His room felt like a bedroom, not just a room with a bed.
But the furniture was not what had captured Vic's attention. It was the wall in front of the closets. Cady had covered it with pictures, in frames of various sizes. They both walked up to take a closer look. Walt. Cady. Henry. Vic. Ferg. Ruby. Lucian. The town. Even Martha. Smiling back at them. Moments captured.
Vic looked up at him to gauge his reaction. He smiled down at her, and she smiled in return.
He continued to inspect the pictures as she opened up the first closet door.
"Major improvement," she said, standing just outside looking in. "Your closets were pretty sketchy before, I'll have to admit. They look amazing now."
She stepped in, with Walt just behind her. He felt her warmth through his clothes, her right side lined up just inside his left. He might have imagined it, but she seemed to take a step back when he joined her side. Stepping into him. Deepening the contact. They both glanced around the space, saying nothing. He could smell her shampoo. His left hand tentatively reached out to touch her shoulder. But he paused, his hand mid-air.
"Alright you two. We need your help in here. Henry and I have decided to do some reorganization. There's still more stuff to bring in. And then we can call it a day," Cady's voice invaded the stillness between them.
He withdrew his hand, once again stepping back. They smiled at each other, and then returned to the bedroom. Vic led the way to the porch to retrieve the last boxes with Walt a few steps behind.
Out on the porch, she surveyed the remaining items. She made a move to pick up one of the boxes, but he grabbed her arm. In one swift motion he turned a surprised Vic around and engulfed her in his embrace.
"Thank you," he whispered, one hand in her hair, the other at her back. "For your help today...for…everything."
She squeezed back. Her arms encircling him. Her cheek near his chin. "You're welcome."
He lifted his head to look at her, and she looked back up at him.
"I've been giving out a lot of hugs today. More than my usual quota," he said.
"I haven't seen you give out many hugs before."
"Exactly."
"Even Ferg got a hug today? Now I don't feel special."
"Well...Ferg got a hearty handshake. So you should still consider yourself special," he said, his arms still around her.
"I don't know, your hugs for Cady and Henry kind of diminish how exceptional you think this hug is" she said with a laugh.
Walt smiled down at her.
Cady called out, but Walt couldn't make out the words. He wasn't listening. This time he ignored the interruption, and leaned down and brushed his lips against Vic's. She smiled into the kiss, and then kissed him in return. She pulled back, their faces still close.
"Are you giving out an extra quota of kisses today as well? How did that kiss rate compared to the one you got from Henry?" she asked, pulling back further, her eyes glowing.
"Hmm. Difficult to tell. May need to test it out again to know for sure," he said with a smile.