A/N: This is a little late but I hope the length makes it worthwhile. It took me forever to write and it was kind of an emotional roller coaster. I can split it into two chapters later if that's easier for y'all to read, but I'm in a hurry at the moment. Just let me know. This is a REALLY BIG chapter that determines the rest of the story. There will probably be two or three chapters left. Anyway, please please review because I just spent like eight hours writing this and reviews make me so happy.
"What's your favorite memory?" Emily asked.
It wasn't the question Alison expected to hear after agreeing to try to open up, but it was better, safer. Nothing about it made her feel like her throat was closing up or gave her the urge to lie. She could be honest without being afraid.
"Definitely the party the district threw for my brother, after he won. Were you there for that?" she asked the brunette. Emily told her during training that she moved to district two when she was twelve. It would've been the same year.
Emily shook her head. "No, that must have been a few months before my dad was relocated. Tell me more about it. I want to know what made it such a good day."
"My family had just moved into our house in Victor's Village. Early that morning, a styling crew from the Capitol knocked on our door. They gave me dresses and did my hair and makeup. It was, like, a twelve-year-old's dream. And then, that night, I got to make an entrance walking down this big staircase in the Justice Building."
"Everyone was looking at me. They all clapped for me," Ali continued. She smiled fondly at the memory. "I'd never experienced anything like that before. I was suddenly important, you know? Everyone wanted to be my friend. They would do anything just to be seen talking to me."
"That's how it was when I moved there," Emily said, studying her intently. "You always had a crowd of people around you."
"Yeah," Ali nodded, but there was a twinge of sadness in her chest. Having admirers didn't amount to much when she was reaped. They didn't care enough to say goodbye and she doubted anyone from home would've lost any sleep if Noel had killed her.
She bit her lip, wondering if she should voice those feelings to Emily. Those were the kinds of thoughts she desperately needed to get off her chest, even if they were embarrassing.
"Everything okay?" Emily asked in a soft voice. Of course she would notice something was off. She always did.
A lifetime of shoving feelings away made Ali inclined to deny that there was anything bothering her. She could easily change the subject, but what good would that do? Killing the conversation would leave their thoughts open to the arena. Emily would have no distraction from thinking about Noel and Nate.
She looked at the blood stains on Emily's clothes and at the deep purple bruise surrounding her eye. Nothing Alison could say could put either of them through more pain than they'd already endured.
"Not really," Alison answered finally, her voice close to cracking. She leaned back until she was lying on her back against the tall, scratchy grass. Looking at the tops of trees was easier than looking the other girl in the eye. "Let's just say my family and friends aren't like yours, Em."
"I don't know what you mean by that," Emily said, her voice slow and cautious. "But I know they love you, Ali. There's no way-"
"If they cared, they would've said goodbye," Ali interrupted. The sudden weight on her chest ached more than her actual wounds.
"What?" Emily asked. Ali didn't have to look over to her to picture her expression.
"They couldn't be bothered to show up after the reaping," Alison explained. The words were flowing fast now. "So I guess my mom and dad each decided separately that they had better things to do than say goodbye to their daughter, because they sure as hell can't be within ten feet of each other long enough to make a decision together. And I guess I never had friends, either. Just a group of fake bitches who wanted to have sleepovers in a mansion."
Emily seemed to be at a complete loss for what to say. She wouldn't have had a chance to get a word in, anyway, because once Ali started ranting, she couldn't stop, not even to catch her breath.
"The thing is, I don't even miss any of them. We were never close. Not really. It just pisses me off that I was waiting there alone, expecting hordes of people to show up, and the one person who did was Spencer Hastings. Spencer freaking Hastings, who I completely shut out for the past five years showed up to give me a bracelet I left at her house when I was twelve. She came and my parents didn't! How am I supposed to believe they care about me?"
Her shoulders slumped after the last words were out. Saying it out loud had taken all her energy. She was angry with her parents; she could feel heat in her face and her hands were clenched, but now she felt something else. Sadness, maybe resignation. Exhaustion.
"I'm sorry they weren't there for you when you needed them," Emily said. "That's incredibly selfish of them. If your parents are having problems, maybe they were trying to avoid seeing each other. If that's the case, it's their problem, not yours."
"I can't believe they would be that immature," she added, sounding disgusted.
"Maybe you're right," Alison said doubtfully. The words were more for Emily's benefit than her own. "Everyone thinks my family is so perfect. My mom's pretty good at keeping up appearances to hide the fact that we're the dictionary definition of dysfunction junction."
"Has it always been like that?" Emily asked. She still sounded upset. It never failed to surprise Ali how worked up the brunette could get about her personal problems. She shouldn't care, but she did.
"It has been for about five years. I think you can do the math."
For a minute, it was completely quiet. "You're not alone, though, Ali," Emily said. "I'm not just talking about me being here. You said Spencer visited you. Is this the bracelet she gave you?" Emily asked, motioning to her wrist.
"Yeah. It's yours now," Ali answered.
"What I'm saying is, if Spencer kept that all those years, she still cares about you. She wouldn't have come if she didn't. And you have your brother. You two seemed to be getting along before the interviews."
Alison considered her words. She sat up to face Emily. The motion caused a sting in her neck, underneath the bandages Emily had wrapped her wounds in. She held a hand over the spot as she responded to the girl.
"Yeah, Jason's alright, I guess. He changed a lot after his Games. I held that against him for a long time, but I think I understand him now."
"He's looking out for you," Emily said, eyeing Alison's bandages. "He came through just in time. I was so scared you were going to bleed out," she added quietly. Her expression became clouded over.
It was the same haunted look she wore when Ali woke up on her lap. She was here physically, but she was mentally far away, reliving what happened. Once her lip started trembling, Alison leaned over and interlocked their fingers.
She rubbed her thumb along the top of Emily's hand. "Hey, it's okay. We're here now. So, what about that story you promised me? Have I fulfilled my end of the deal?"
Emily's eyes flickered to hers. "I'd say you're off the hook for the rest of the night."
"Ugh, does that mean I have to answer more questions tomorrow?" Ali asked in mock disappointment. "Like I said before, I'm only agreeing to this if you tell me your story. I wanna know just how long you've cared about me," she continued, her mouth twitching up into a small smile as she repeated Emily's words from earlier.
"I, um, a long time," Emily said, stumbling over words she'd already said. Ali nudged her side. "Okay, fine," she said. "It's kind of corny so promise you won't laugh."
"I won't," Ali assured her.
Emily let out a deep sigh. "I guess…I kind of started paying attention to you after the first time I saw you. I'd only moved a few weeks before, so everyone was unfamiliar to me, but you stood out. You were special. It was the way you carried yourself. You were confident and brave and beautiful and wherever you went, you captivated everyone. I was the shy, quiet girl sitting in the corner of the room and you were everything I would never be."
Ali's heart skipped a beat at the description. Emily looked down, letting out a nervous chuckle. Em could be shy at times, but the blonde found it strange that she didn't think the words confident, brave, and beautiful could apply to her as well.
"I didn't realize I had feelings for you at the time. My mom was always asking me about boys, so I thought eventually I would like one," Emily said, "But I never did. And looking back, I have no idea how it took so long for me to realize my feelings because it was beyond obvious. I'm actually embarrassed by how obvious it was."
"How so?" Ali asked. She gave Em's hand a squeeze.
"I always used to ride my bike in Victor's Village. I told my parents it was because the roads were paved there, but obviously that wasn't the real reason. I remember one time I got home and my mom said she needed to talk to me. I almost had a heart attack because I thought she knew. Turns out she just wanted me to do the dishes. That's not even the most embarrassing example, either."
"Tell me." Alison moved so Emily was forced to face her. The story was actually adorable, and was making the mess of unpleasant emotions inside of her ebb away, leaving a warm, fuzzy feeling in its place.
"Don't laugh," Emily warned her.
"I'm not."
"Okay…" Emily began reluctantly. "Well, I was trying to get your attention during class one time, so I thought it would be a great idea to drop a pencil by your desk. Except my desk was way in the corner of the classroom and yours was in the middle, so I kind of had to toss it. It, um, it hit a kid. People definitely noticed I threw it."
Unexpected laughter bubbled up in her throat. Before she knew it, she was doubled over, trying to muffle giggles as Emily glared at her. Something about the mental image of younger Emily throwing a pencil across the room in hopes of getting her attention was too much for Alison to handle.
"You said you wouldn't laugh!" Emily complained.
"Sorry," Alison managed to say. She only started laughing more once she saw the brunette's sour expression. "You're so freaking cute."
"It's n-not cute," Emily blushed. It was amazing how she could even turn visibly pink considering her tan complexion.
"Yes it is. And so are you, especially when you get all flustered," Ali teased.
Emily stumbled over a few more words before burying her face in her hands with another loud sigh.
The blonde smiled, pleased with herself for getting this reaction out of her. Emily may have been embarrassed, but at least she wasn't stressing about what happened with Noel and Nate. She was effectively distracted, and Ali was enjoying it as well.
Emily said something that sounded like a question, but her voice was way too muffled and soft to make out the words. Alison smoothed back her dark hair and leaned closer in. "What was that?"
"Can I ask you one more question?" she asked, her voice barely louder than last time.
Ali nodded and waited.
"When did you start having feelings- I mean…" she trailed off.
"When did I start having feelings for you? Is that what you're asking?"
"Yeah," Emily confirmed. "I was just wondering because I never thought you were into girls. But then you kissed me."
Alison paused to think. She felt no pressure or nervousness when she was teasing Em, but now she was all too conscious of the thudding in her chest.
"You kind of took me by surprise. I'm not sure when it started…maybe the first day of training, when we were in the hallway after lunch," Alison answered, leaving out the part about sneaking into the ballroom on the mystery floor. "It really didn't hit me until we were on the rooftop the night of the interviews."
Emily smiled, probably remembering just what happened that night. Ali stood up, stretching, and extended a hand to the other girl. "It's late. You must be exhausted."
"I could use some rest," Emily said as she took Ali's hand. Once they were both standing up, they looked at each other for a long, quiet moment before Emily leaned in and pressed a kiss to Ali's lips.
Alison let herself smile into the kiss as she placed her hands on Emily's waist. "Oh and Em?" she whispered after they parted. "You're a lot more than shy and quiet. You were brave enough to risk your life for me."
Em drew in a shaky breath and her smile didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks, but that wasn't being brave. That was fear. I wish I could forget it ever happened."
"Sweetie, bravery and fear are sometimes the same thing. Do you want to talk about it?" Ali asked, even though she wasn't sure if she was capable of comforting her if she did accept the offer.
Emily shook her head. Her eyes were trained to the ground as she pulled herself away from Alison. "I'm actually really tired. I just want to sleep."
"Okay."
The two of them ended up in a different spot than the one they'd used previously. The forest was so overgrown that they could sleep anywhere and be protected by plants and darkness.
Ali's eyes were open and her mind was awake well into the night. Emily was shaking in her sleep beside her, no doubt being haunted by nightmares. Twice Alison woke her up to save her from the monsters that stalked her dreams.
Maybe it was wrong to call two dead boys monsters. The dead are supposed to be innocent victims and killers are supposed to be monsters, but the girl whimpering in her sleep, wracked by guilt, was far from monstrous.
The boy Alison killed in the bloodbath was slowly slipping from her memory. It was a familiar process, and for once she was grateful for it. First it all becomes fuzzy. She couldn't remember exactly how his eyes looked or the color of his hair. But she remembered it hurt to watch him die.
Ali hoped neither of them would have to kill again. She hoped both of them could somehow get away from this place. Both of those scenarios were pipe dreams. What was it Spencer used to say? Hope breeds eternal misery.
She also used to say there was a solution to any problem once you find the right angle to work from.
It was an impossible task, but Alison had to do something. She would think of a plan or she would die trying.
It was odd how time moved in the arena. Every day seemed to drag on with no sense of hours or minutes. Time moved slowly, but eventually total darkness would fall and rain would follow. Nights shifted into days and then back into nights.
Emily had a hard time keeping track of it all. Trying to place everything that had happened in a timeline was like squeezing an eternity into a few short days. The time marker she always went back to was the day Noel and Nate died.
It had been five days. In that time, more tributes had fallen. She and Ali calculated that there were only five left, including the two of them. Every cannon brought more tension to the air. They had to split up before the final fight. There was no question about that, but they hadn't even discussed it. Both of them were afraid to bring it up.
They stuck together even now as they trekked to another part of the forest. The general area they claimed before was now completely uninhabitable. The final straw was the sudden appearance of dripping sap earlier this morning.
Another drop hit Emily's arm and she winced, trying to ignore the burning sting. It wasn't ordinary sap; that was for sure. Blisters lined her arms already from where the sap touched her skin. Beside her, Alison was using the blood-stained, tattered remains of her jacket as a makeshift umbrella.
"It got you again?" the blonde asked.
"It was just a small drop that time, but we need to move faster," Emily responded. The tiny drop was enough to turn her skin red.
Not enough time had passed to know the long-term effects of the burning sap. They could only hope it didn't contain poison or cause some incurable infection. The two girls looked at each other and quickened their pace.
"We should go to the Cornucopia," Alison announced. The words were unexpected and caused Emily to stop in her tracks.
"What? Why?"
"Because we need food," Alison explained. "I'm not taking any chances hunting these weird animals that have been popping up everywhere. I'm pretty sure they're mutts. Those eyes were not natural."
Emily couldn't deny that the animals they'd seen lately were strange. The birds watching them yesterday were almost eerily calm. They reminded Emily of bombs that could be set off with the slightest touch.
But that didn't justify running out into the open.
"Isn't Mona still there? If she's not, someone else is by now. It's not safe," Emily reasoned.
"I'm not saying we should camp out there or anything. Just go steal a few things. Mona wouldn't stay there alone knowing she's outnumbered."
Emily was unconvinced. "Maybe we should just wait for another parachute. We've gotten a lot already."
"The money has to run out eventually," Ali said, suddenly sounding impatient.
Another cannon blast echoed from far in the distance. One less tribute. This was the final four. From what they'd seen on TV, they both knew it was nothing to celebrate. The finale could come at any hour now.
Usually, it was the last three remaining tributes who battled it out, but there were several occasions where the final fight involved four people.
She met Alison's eyes and saw they were filled with distress. Emily was sure her own expression mirrored the emotion. "What do we do?" Emily asked, her voice low with fear.
"We…" Alison tried to say. She stopped and Emily could see her swallow hard before she spun around, facing the endless stretch of woods once again. "We keep walking. Come on."
Her voice was strong and her movements were precise, confident, but Emily didn't believe tor a second that she wasn't shaken on the inside.
Alison was stomping ahead of her. Her movements straddled the thin line between composure and desperation.
"I see sunlight coming through ahead," Ali said, still not looking back at Emily, who had no choice but to follow.
It wasn't long before Emily could see the sunlight, too. It peeked out in rays that shone between branches, soaking trees in a gorgeous golden color. The streams of light led them to a small clearing overflowing with white flowers that grew in bundles.
Emily stared in awe at the quaint scene. She could only assume Alison was doing the same.
"It's beautiful," Emily said, stepping forward until Alison blocked her by throwing an arm in front of her.
"Stop! Don't touch anything," she said. She was still staring out at the flowers, her eyebrows knit in concentration. "That looks like war hemlock."
The name was unfamiliar to Emily, but she took a step back regardless. The word "war" carried bad connotations. "War hemlock?" she echoed.
"It was used in the rebellion. All you need to know is that it's poisonous," Alison explain. Her voice sounded oddly detached.
"Does it grow in district two?" the brunette asked as she retreated further away.
"Not much of it. A little grew by my old house and there was an outbreak one year in the working field…" Ali trailed off. She looked like she wanted to say something else and changed her mind just as her mouth was opening. "It's deadly," she said instead.
There was something very off about the way Alison was acting. Over the past few days, she'd managed to open up, but now it felt like she was taking steps backwards. It was everything: her body language, the way her eyes shifted around nervously, how her words were like icebergs, with all the important details hidden under the surface. Almost like she woke up and decided she couldn't trust Emily anymore.
After all they'd been through, did she really think Emily would turn on her now?
Alison was still staring at the hemlock. Emily could almost see the gears spinning in her head, but she had no idea what the girl was thinking.
"Alison, what's going on?" Emily asked, crossing her arms.
"What are you talking about?" Ali asked. She raised an eyebrow at Emily as if she honestly had no idea how much tension there was between them.
"You're acting weird," Emily said.
Alison stared at her in response. "How am I supposed to be acting in this situation, Emily? I didn't even do anything."
"No, but I feel like you're about to do something drastic. You're being distant."
"I should be a lot more distant," Alison argued. The words weren't completely unexpected, but that didn't stop the sting. "We're in the final four. What are you going to do when it's just the two of us? Are you going to protect yourself?"
Emily didn't know how to answer her question. If it came down to the two of them, Emily wouldn't hurt Alison. She loved her. She couldn't do it.
"I didn't think so," Alison said when Emily didn't respond. "One of us has to die. That's why this," she said, motioning between the two of them, "can't last any longer. You need to leave, Emily."
In that moment, it felt like the wind was knocked out of her. There was a physical pain in her chest and her legs were weak. What Alison said was true. It made sense, and Emily knew she was probably being completely irrational for having this reaction, but it hurt. It hurt and she couldn't quell the pain.
She realized this was it. This was having the only thing left she cared about pulled out from under her, and she didn't how to face the rest alone.
"Ali," she said, nearly choking on the name. There had to be something she could say. Some word had to be able to change her mind, even if it couldn't change the situation.
"I don't want to hurt you, either," Alison said. "That's why you need to leave, now."
Emily's legs quivered just like they did when her name was called at the reaping. She had another decision to make: stay frozen in her spot, terrified and heartbroken, or suck it up and walk away.
She'd come too far since that day to stand still. As far as goodbyes went, this one couldn't be much worse. With one final look at the girl standing across from her, Emily took a deep breath and turned away. She forced herself not to glance back as she left.
If she looked back, she might change her mind. There was no winning either way.
Alison pressed her palms to her temple as she paced around trees. She kept reaching mental roadblocks in her plans. Now she was alone, panicked and overwhelmed.
The image of Emily walking away burned in her brain. She never meant to cause the girl any pain, but she had. It was written across her face.
Alison reminded herself it was necessary. She couldn't share her thoughts with Emily right now. Not with the cameras letting all of Panem listen in. She needed to be alone to think of how she was going to pull this off.
It had been a few hours since the brunette left, and the plan was still as rudimentary as it was before.
Alison walked back to the patches of war hemlock. She'd told Emily it was deadly, which was true, at least in most cases. But not always. She and Spencer overheard a peculiar story about the plant when they were young. It was what fueled their fascination with the plants that grew in between their houses.
There was a man in district two who came in contact with the flower one summer. The story was he and his daughter picked the flowers to make a bouquet for his wife's birthday. They both dropped dead before they could even get home.
Then something strange happened. Nearly an hour later, as they were being dragged to the district morgue, the man came back to life. Spencer insisted he was never really dead; the poison was simply a paralytic in small doses.
Regardless of what really happened, the story spread like wildfire through the mouths of district two children. They whispered about zombies and played a game called "dead man rising".
It turned out the story was true. Spencer did some investigating which led to her and Alison spying on a middle-aged man in a wheelchair. He was never quite the same after the incident, they learned. His heart had been damaged and his movements were sluggish, but he was alive. His heart and breathing had stopped and he was still alive.
All because of the war hemlock.
But faking her own death didn't make for a good plan. There were too many loose ends. She might not wake up. Even if she did, she might be physically impaired. She might be thrown back into the arena for someone to finish her off. Emily might not survive fighting against Mona and the boy from seven.
Ali hadn't even considered that. Killing Noel and Nate all but destroyed Emily. Even if she didn't talk about it, Alison could tell. She shouldn't have to fight Mona, who was violent and sneaky and killed someone in the bloodbath by slamming their head against the Cornucopia.
Alison's blood ran cold. She couldn't let Emily fend for herself against Mona.
New plan. She needed a new plan. Defend Emily. And then what?
She looked again at the seemingly delicate white flowers.
Cries of birds pierced through the air, and then there were one, two, ten, fifty of them flying past trees, not far above Alison's head. There was a weird sound in the distance, deeper in the woods.
If the birds were running, she should too.
The sky darkened almost instantly, and that's when Ali realized the finale was starting. No time left for plans.
A cannon went off and Alison started shaking. There were only three options for whose death it signaled. She looked around helplessly. She had to run. She had to go now and kill Mona if she wasn't already dead.
The flowers were the only plan she'd half-formulated. In one motion, Alison uprooted a small handful of war hemlock and stuffed it into her boot against the fabric of her sock.
She followed the birds as quickly as she could manage, running over thick forest growth. They were headed to the meadow. Halfway there, she started feeling dizzy.
Her breathing and eyelids felt heavy, like she was falling asleep, but her heart was racing faster than it ever had.
But she was almost there; the clearing was just ahead. With a final push, she propelled herself forward only to lose her footing and fall over a tangle of roots. The flowers slipped out of her boot.
The whole word was pushing down on her frantic heart. She was being pushed down- dragged under. Pulled into darkness. Soon she couldn't remember what she'd been doing. Then all of her senses faded out until there was nothing.
First there were birds. More birds than Emily thought the forest could hold swooped past her, a few hitting her shoulders.
Next there was the startling fast sunset. One moment, Emily could see ahead perfectly fine. The next, shadows covered her surroundings and the familiar chill of night pricked her skin.
Then there was a cannon. Somehow that scared Emily the most.
She could barely breathe as she ran along with the distressed birds. They guided her to the meadow, which was dark and uninviting compared to how it had looked on the first day of the Games. The lake wasn't far away. Against the darkness, it looked like a black hole.
There was movement to her left. Someone running. "Alison?" Emily called out. Her voice was high and desperate.
As the figure grew closer, she saw it wasn't Alison. She was too short and her hair was dark.
Mona.
Another cannon.
Emily couldn't run. She couldn't even move. It wasn't until Mona tackled her that she realized they were the only two left in the Hunger Games. She didn't want to kill her final opponent. She didn't want to even exist anymore, but her body wasn't in tune with her thoughts.
Instincts and adrenaline put her on autopilot. She was struggling against the smaller girl without even being aware of what was happening. Her only weapon was a skinny knife her nearly-empty backpack, but she couldn't reach to retrieve it.
Emily could barely feel it when Mona's blade dug into her side. The scream was there, and so was the blood, but she was completely detached. Mona was talking to her between heavy breaths. She couldn't hear any of it.
With a push, she shoved the small girl off of her for just long enough to take off running. She wasn't sure where she was going until she was diving through water.
Being in the lake wasn't the kind of swimming she was used to. It wasn't calm or peaceful. She was flailing underwater. Her lungs burned and the gash in her side throbbed. Her backpack restricted her movement.
When she broke through the surface of the water and took in a sharp breath of air, water came along with it. There was a splash behind her.
Emily willed herself to remember how to be a swimmer. For a long time, she considered it to be the only thing she was good at. Emily Fields would not die drowning.
Stretching her arms out in front of her, Emily moved herself in position for a front crawl stroke. She wasn't in perfect form, but she was able to kick her legs and keep herself afloat.
She was choking up water by the time she got to the edge of the lake. With trembling hands, she clung to the sides and scanned the lake for Mona. The water was very deep here. If she couldn't swim, this might be over. Emily could barely register half of what was even going on. All she knew was she wanted it to end.
Just when she thought Mona wouldn't resurface, bubbles rose to the surface and she came up, gasping for air. The second she saw Emily, she was paddling in her direction.
Emily scraped at the sides of solid ground. There was no ladder to climb out with. No place to steady her feet except against the dirt wall. Her hand hit something hard and metallic. She ran her palm over it, feeling the hexagonal shape that extruded from the edge of the lake, just inches below the surface of water.
She'd felt that same shape before.
It wasn't easy to shrug her soaked backpack off her shoulders, but it was worth it once she found exactly what she was looking for. In her hand, she held a tiny metal square with a hexagonal indentation. A key, just as she'd suspected.
Mona was gaining on her. Emily slammed the square into place and watched as the whole shape started to glow blue. Along with it came a ticking noise. Emily didn't know what it meant, but she knew she needed to get out of the water.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Emily hoisted herself onto solid ground, groaning when she rolled over on her open wound.
TickTickTickTick.
The sounds were closer together now. It ended without warning, and the whole lake flashed an electric blue color. Emily curled onto the ground, ducking her face into the grass and covering her ears. She didn't want to hear the screams that were coming from the lake. Didn't want to see the electricity shock Mona or watch as she drowned.
It didn't take long for the cannon to come. Emily ignored it. She cried into the ground, thinking only that this wasn't what she wanted. Mona was gone and Alison was gone and she was still here. Why was she still here?
She hardly paid attention as a loud voice came over a speaker.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the victor of this year's Hunger Games: Emily Fields from district four!"
This had to be death. It was fine at first, when everything was dark and numb and there was nothing to feel.
But now things were different. Alison was trapped.
She could feel her body. Her fingers and toes were heavy weights she wasn't strong enough to move. It was unclear how much time had passed. There was no beginning or ending to any of it, and eventually, Alison became so frustrated that she was convinced this was hell.
If this was hell, though, would she be breathing? Her chest ached as it heaved and there wasn't enough oxygen to fill her lungs, but it was still moving. Inhale, Exhale. A painful rhythm.
Sight didn't come back until after, once she'd accepted that, no, this wasn't death. Death would be better. There were two bodies next to her and she was staring up a plain white ceiling. They were dead. They were the lucky ones.
Some part of Alison's brain knew she had been hoping for this to happen. Whatever ungodly reason that was hadn't come back to her yet. She was still too groggy to remember the specifics.
A few things were coming back to her. This must be a hovercraft. She was in the Hunger Games. There was an arena. There was a girl. A girl with dark hair and tan skin. A girl she cared about.
She remembered crying, running away from a screaming mother. The girl was there, too, but she was younger than she was in the memories of the arena. Her face was a little more round, a little more childlike.
Alison, I just want to make sure you're okay, she'd said.
Alison closed her eyes again, focusing to allow more details back. That memory was separate from the Hunger Games, she was sure. From the Games, she remembered screaming during the bloodbath. A boy striking her in the jaw. Flowers and birds. Bandages and blood and bow and arrows. A bracelet.
She remembered being curled up in a tiny space with the girl's arm around her. Emily. That was her name. Emily holding her and kissing her and all the emotions that came along with it. Emily saving her life. Emily walking away from her, pain on her face.
Flowers. The flowers were behind them. War hemlock.
The name triggered something in her mind. Alison understood why she was here.
A/N: I'm going to try to avoid spoiling anything because I know some people read the bottom author's note first. Anyway, I wasn't sure when I started this story what exactly would be the outcome of the arena. With all the pain Emison shippers have been through since July, I'm inclined to give them happiness. I tried to look for a way to resolve the arena plot without it being too contrived. There are hints this would happen as far back as chapter five. Everything is not okay at the moment. Clearly this is a strange situation and a lot needs to be resolved! So stick around and keep reading if you like it :) If not, sorry, but I'm trying my best to craft a good plot.