Memories

Chaper ten

When they arrived at her apartment building, Felicity had a hard time getting out of the car. She had always loved it, and was reminded of this as she made the short drive home through the city. Her thoughts were stuck in the past the whole way.

"Are you coming, Felicity?" Dean asked. He and Sam were already waiting at the front door of her building, looking at her questioningly.

"Yeah, coming," she called out, stepping out of the car, locking it, and walking over to them. On her way, she searched through her purse for her house keys. When she finally found them she unlocked the door, walking in ahead of the others to lead them to her apartment. "Please make yourselves at home," Felicity said as they stepped into the room.

Both men roamed around, checking out her place. Sam finally took the couch and turned the TV on.

"Really Sam?" Dean said harshly. Sam just gave him a look and then focused back on the TV, changing channels to find something to watch.

"Dean, let him watch TV a bit. In fact, why don't you join him? You must be tired from the long drive," Felicity said in an understanding tone. "But first I'll show you where you and Sammy can sleep, ok?" she added.

Dean nodded and followed her into a nice, big bedroom. "Wait, isn't this your bedroom, honey?" When Felicity's eyes darkened at his words he quickly added "Sorry, old habit. Won't happen again."

"Yes, it is my room, but I figure the guest room is too small for two people, so you can both sleep here and I'll take the guest room," she said. "That's if you don't mind sleeping in a big bed with your brother for one or two nights."

"Or...we could sleep here together?" He grinned at the thought, which brought back memories of the past.

Felicity shot him an angry look. "Maybe I should call Oliver and ask him if the offer for that hotel room still stands," she hissed.

"Relax, it was just a joke," Dean said, smiling. This was the Felicity he knew and loved, and had married. The same girl who had everything and everyone under control, and didn't even know it. She was the heart of the team then, like she was here and now with her new team and family.

His thoughts were interrupted as she spoke again. "Get some sleep, I'll wake you two up when we have to go. And before I forget, the bathroom is over there. There are fresh towels in the drawer, just help yourself," she said, walking out to give Dean some space and check on Sam.

"Sammy?" she said as she walked back into her living room. He didn't answer. She looked over to the sofa and saw that he'd already fallen asleep. She stepped back quietly to make sure not to wake him, and went back to her bedroom to inform Dean that his brother was sleeping and he shouldn't make too much noise.

As she opened the bedroom door, she found Dean standing in the middle of the room undressing, his shirt already on the floor. She yelped at the sight and jumped back a little.

"S- Sorry," she stuttered and was about to step out of the room when Dean responded.

"No problem, hon...Felicity," he said. It was hard at that moment to use her actual name and not one of the other terms of endearment he was used to using when he spoke to her. "It's nothing you haven't seen already." He smiled at her as her face went pink.

The deep, rough tone of his voice threw Felicity back into the past and she shivered. Unable to think straight, she started rambling without thinking. "I...yes, uh...you look great. I mean, nice abs. No...I mean yes, they are great, but you always looked great. Now and years ago, it's the same. Yes...the same." She took a deep breath and as a few seconds passed she pulled her mind together. Well, at least mostly together.

She managed to keep her voice steady as she spoke again. "Excuse me, I have to do some grocery shopping. There's nothing to eat in the house. I'll be back in a bit." With that, and before he could say something, she tore her eyes from his half-naked body and closed the door behind her. Oh my goodness, why are things like this always happening to me? she thought. All she wanted to do was get out of there and clear her head. Taking the keys for Dean's car, she left the apartment.

She got in the car and just drove, not really sure of her destination, until she reached the forest. Her mind was full with thoughts of the past, and of Oliver. She didn't get out of the car, just turned of the engine and relaxed into the seat as she tried to sort out her thoughts and feelings about everything that had happened recently.

She had to accept the fact that Oliver was in love with her. If Cas had confirmed it to Dean, then it had to be true. On one hand she was relieved, but on the other, there still was Dean, whom she was married to. She knew she was over him, but when they had met, there had been this connection between them, and from her reaction to seeing him half dressed, she knew it was still there. She loved him, but she wasn't in love with him. What was between them was respect, friendship, partnership and a shared past. And maybe some other memories that came up as she watched his body and the smile on his face. What they had before was no more, but it didn't mean Felicity was completely over him. How could she be over him after all these years? He was her first and only love before she met Oliver. In that moment, thinking about Oliver, she knew she had to go and see her lawyer.

Hell, she was in love, and it was Oliver to whom her heart belonged now. She knew that. But she and Dean had a past together, and now they had a chance to talk about it and lay their problems to rest so both of them could move forward with no regrets.

Felicity got out of the car and walked into the forest. And then she did what she always did when she was there: she changed into her wolf form and ran through the trees as fast as she could. She knew it was daytime and the sun stood high in the sky, but she didn't care. She had to run, even if just for a few minutes. She wanted to feel like she did when she was a child; she wanted to feel free and forget her problems for a while.

Thirty minutes later, she was back in her car. Well, not really her car. She liked to pretend it was hers, though. She slid behind the wheel, and pressed herself back into the leather seat. Closing here eyes to rest for a moment, she found herself remembering her first meeting with Sam and Dean Winchester.

It was a beautiful day outside, and Felicity was standing behind the counter of a Vegas diner, bagging up a to-go order for a young couple. It was one of many jobs her mother had helped her get during the holidays, to pay the bills for M.I.T. They were in the middle of the lunch rush, and a lot of people were waiting for their meals. She was in the middle of bringing an order to one of the customers when the bell over the door chimed and two men stepped in, looking around. Both of them wore suits and tie. Not exactly the type of clothes you wore to eat in a diner.

The shorter one of the two caught her attention immediately. He was very handsome, with close-cropped light brown hair, beautiful grey-green eyes, and about three days' worth of five o'clock shadow, something Felicity had a serious weakness for. It made her want to touch his face immediately. Her cheeks flushed pink as she stared at him, but she couldn't stop looking. She could see the well built body he hid under his clothes, and her mouth went dry.

He caught her staring and flashed her a panty-dropping grin. She was so shocked that a man like that would smile at her that she dropped the plate she was carrying, cursing softly as it shattered at her feet. "Joe, I'm going to need another club sandwich and chips," she called out to the kitchen.

The men walked over to her as she crouched down to clean up the mess she had made, trying not to act nervous and failing. The taller of the two took a seat on one of the stools at the counter, while the beautiful one squatted down in front of her, helping pick up the pieces of the shattered plate and putting them on her tray. He smiled at her, and at that moment she felt a change in the air.

She picked up the tray and carried it behind the counter, setting it down and wiping her hands on her apron. "Can I get you gentlemen anything?" she asked, as Beautiful sat down at the counter next to his friend.

"Yes, hi, I'm Special Agent Young and that's my partner Johnson." They showed her their IDs.

It only took Felicity one quick look to tell they were fake. She was just about to tell them that, when the bell in the kitchen rang, indicating that there was another meal ready that she needed to deliver. "Grilled cheese for table four!" the cook yelled.

"Look," she said, "If you want something to eat or drink, ask me. For anything else, my boss is over there." She nodded toward the end of the bar and then held her pen poised over her pad, looked pointedly at the man calling himself Agent Young, and his alleged partner.

"I'll take a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a coke," he said, winking at her.

"And you?" Felicity said, looking at Johnson.

"I'll take a chef's salad and water," he said.

Felicity wrote down their orders and took them to the kitchen, clipping them to the order wheel. "Bacon cheese fries, chef salad!" she called out, reaching for the plate with the grilled cheese and heading for table four. She noticed the two faux-agents at the end of the bar talking to her boss, delivered the grilled cheese, and then headed back behind the counter to get the guys' drinks.

They had moved to a booth in the corner of the room when she brought them their meals. "Thanks, sweetheart," Young said with a smile.

For the rest of her shift, Felicity kept an eye on the two men as they conversed quietly, referring often to a battered brown journal and a laptop. Occasionally, she was close enough to overhear fragments of what they said, and on one of those occasions, she heard them talking about meeting at an old roadhouse outside of town later that evening. She knew the place, and at that moment Felicity decided she was going to meet them there. Those two guys with their cheap suits and and fake IDs presented quite a mystery, and as far as Felicity Smoak was concerned mysteries needed to be solved.

They were already there when she arrived at the scene. She heard shouts and gunshots, and running around the side of the house, she saw the men being attacked by an old man whose face had a lot of scars. In his hand he held a strange blade. After a moment's hesitation, she decided to help them. She had a feeling she could trust them, and she was willing to give up her secret even though she barely knew them and they they were lying about being FBI agents. They also clearly had a secret, just like her.

Ducking behind the rusted carcass of an old pickup truck, she stripped and changed into the wolf. Jumping at the old man from behind, she took his head off in a flash and disappeared behind the pick up truck again, to change back. She barely had time to put her pants on when Special Agent Young came around the corner.

"You," he said, pointing a gun at her, "are a wolf!"

She held her shirt over her chest."Yes, I am. But I won't hurt you. I just saved your ass. And besides, you lied to me."

"I lied?" His mouth twitched.

"Yes," she said seriously. "You told me you were with the FBI, and clearly you're not. Also, Young and Johnson? As in Angus Young and Brian Johnson? As in AC/DC? Seriously?" She gave them a look. "So, what's your secret?"

"How could you know we're not FBI?" he asked as he loosened his grip around his gun.

"Your IDs are fake. You should make new ones. I could do it for you, if you don't kill me, of course. And about the secret, that clearly was something paranormal what I just killed for you. So..." She said calmly.

The other man joined them and just watched the conversation. Agent Young seemed to consider her words. "Ok. For now I'll let you live," he said. His look was intense as he studied her from head to toe.

"Dean, what the hell?" Sam said furiously. "We have to kill her!"

"No, Sam, I think she's ok. She wouldn't have saved us otherwise."

Felicity was relieved. She felt the connection between her and this Dean, and from the way he looked at her, she knew he felt it too.

"Did you burn it?" Dean asked Sam, who nodded.

Felicity looked from one to the other. "Could you give me a ride back into town?" she asked, when neither of them spoke. "After you turn around so I can put my shirt back on?"

Her phone rang, jerking her awake. She must have dozed off while thinking about the past. It was the first time in a long time that she had thought about her first meeting with Dean. Still half asleep, she had a hard time shaking off the images in her head, but after the fifth ring of her phone, she managed to answer it. "Yeah?" she said.

"Felicity, where are you? And is my car with you?" It was Dean.

"I'm, uh, I'm on my way home. What time is it? And yes, I have your car."

"It's already six o'clock, he said, sounding worried. "We have to go soon."

"On my way," she said, hanging up.

She saw that she had also gotten a text from Oliver. 'Hi Felicity, is everything alright?' She smiled. That man was always worried about her. She wrote a quick response telling him that everything was fine and then started the car.

She arrived at her building and got out out of the car. She knew she had to talk to Dean, and she would be sure to make some time for that. Maybe after they got home tonight. Felicity took a last look at the car and decided that she had to drive it as much as she possibly could while they were here. She took a deep breath, turned around and walked into the building, smiling.