Author's Chapter Notes:
Yay, long-ish chapter!!! Wooooooo...Okay, I'll stop and let you read.
Stephanie Meyers is rich. Stephanie Meyers is famous. Stephanie Meyers wrote Twilight.
I have fourteen dollars to my name. My friends have recently begun referring to me as Tater Tot, which is unfortunate. And I wrote...this.
Chapter Song: Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind
She said I want something else
To get me through this
Semi-charmed kind of life baby baby
I want something else
Im not listening when you say
Good-bye
Just stay calm. Deep breaths. In and out, that's it...
Wait, what the fuck am I doing? This isn't lamaze class, get it together, Leah!
This isn't that bad, I've faced the freakin' entire Volturi mafia! I can definitely handle socializing with the Cullen freaks!
Okay, note to self, stop referring to them as freaks.
Oh god, I think I look nervous...am I hyperventilating?
Okay...uh...smile, yeah, that's it, smile!
Shit! Not that much you idiot! They'll think you're bi-polar!
Shit, okay, smile slightly, try not to insult them, reign in the sarcasm, and breath as little as possible or risk puking all over their nice white furniture.
Yeah, good plan.
Internal pep talk done, I opened the door.
"You'll let me plan your wedding without a fuss, right?" The short, pixie-ish one approached me without hesitation, brandishing her finger at me like the blade of a sword. She threw a squinty-eyed glare towards Bella, who recoiled, looking guilty, before returning to me. "I mean, I'm not really sure about the whole wedding thing, the future basically just took a nose dive into oblivion, but from what Carlisle told us I just assumed..."
"Psychic with boundary issues?" Luke whispered to me as I just stared, open-mouthed at the teensy, tiny leech in front of me.
I nodded, well, I think I did. We had barely even gotten two feet in the house and she was already volunteering to be my wedding planner? Oh god, I'm definitely gonna need a drink or something...can werewolves even get drunk? Funny, I don't think any of us have ever really tried. Not much time for recreational substance abuse when you're chasin' vamps night and day.
"Actually, I prefer Alice," she smiled sweetly at Luke and extended her hand. He shook it without pause. "But your description isn't entirely off base."
Luke smiled and attempted to straighten himself in his wheelchair. He winced. My overprotective nature immediately took over.
"Okay, we're very grateful for your hospitality and understanding, but dying guy needs his beauty sleep. The rest of the intros will have to wait" I said, stepping forward to intercept the welcome wagon consisting of an absolutely beaming Esme, an amused looking Emmet, and a still apologetic looking Bella.
Yo, Edward, little help here? There are more rooms in this crypt than the Ritz. I don't know where to, uh...stash him
Edward raised his eyebrow at my choice of words, but thankfully scooped Luke into his arms and proceeded to carry him upstairs without a word. Poor Luke, I imagine being man-handled by well, another man, isn't exactly the most comfortable of situations. Or the most ego-boosting.
Carlisle cleared his throat behind me, making me jump, and then muttered something about needing to ready the dosage before disappearing...leaving me...alone...with three of my ex-arch enemies. I looked around at all of them awkwardly, gave them a shaky half smile and then hastily followed after Edward. Okay, family get-togethers are not my thing. Get over it. I told myself
I tried to follow Luke's scent, but I nearly gagged every time I took a deep breath so, I just started opening doors. Hmmm, traditional looking room with a king sized bed...Carlisle and Esme's. A library so big it should require a membership. The doc's study. Ew, kinky, Rose and Emmet's room. Moving on, please god, get those images out of my head. Okay, giant closet. Another giant closet. Seriously? Who needed that many clothes? I swear, there were enough pleated khakis in those two rooms to outfit all of Cambodia. Whatever, on with the search. Bathroom...wait, do vampires even go to the...never mind. Room with a huge three-panel mirror, lot's of fancy, expensive lookin' furniture, and an antique looking horse whip? Blech, more bad images, I don't even want to know.
"You could have just called for me," Edward said, leaning casually against the door frame of what I assumed to be Luke's room. I was only about seven doors away, but who knows what other disturbing things I would have found I those rooms.
"Snooping is fun," I shrugged and made my way towards him, "and interesting, definitely interesting. By the way, why do Emmet and Rose have so many chains? Aren't they a bit superfluous when you guys can, you know, pound boulders into dust?"
Edward shuddered. "I try not to pry."
"Yeah, that's probably the best idea," I decided and thanked my lucky stars that I couldn't read minds. Poor Ed, he must have seen some nasty stuff in his life...holy shit! Stop sympathizing for the leech!
Edward gave me a smirk. "Does the dog like the leech now?"
"Stuff it, bat!" I spat.
"Both of you 'stuff it'!" Carlisle groaned. "I just gave Luke his pain medication and he's going to need his sleep. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going downstairs before you two give me the first supernatural aneurism!"
And with that he pushed passed us and disappeared. Edward shrugged at me and followed after him, probably to go make goo goo eyes at Bella for being away so long. Man, he sure was whipped.
"I most certainly am not," he denied as he descended the staircase.
I made a whip lash sound, then walked into Luke's room and shut the door before he could retaliate. Ha, who got the last word? That's right, me.
"You know, I resent what you said downstairs," Luke muttered, slurring some of his words.
"What? The part where I referred to you as 'the dying guy'?" I asked.
"No, the part about me needing my beauty sleep," he smirked. "Sleep ain't got nothin' to do with this beauty. It's all in the genes, baby."
I snorted. "Is humility in those genes too?"
"Maybe, why don't you take them off and find out," he said wiggling his eyebrows like a villian who just tied a screaming damsel to some train tracks.
"Okay, first of all, that's j-e-a-n-s not g-e-n-e-s. And second, you're not even wearing jeans. You're not wearing any pants at all."
"See, you already got me half naked, lucky you," he yawned and then his head drooped and fell onto his pillow with a snore. Awwwww, look at him, his mouth half open and emitting a sound comparable to a jackhammer. Actually, it was kind of cute, like a giant, hibernating teddy bear with five o'clock shadow. Wearing a hospital gown. I really needed to find him a robe or something.
Knock, knock.
Okay....who the hell was knocking? I walked to the door, feeling like some strange owner of a one room apartment, and opened it.
"Jake?"
"Hey, Leah, the doc said you were gonna need to talk to me?" he said, looking even more confused than I did.
Oh...ohhhhh. Well, I guess now was as good a time as any, what with cancer mcgee sawing wood and all.
"Yeah, there is actually something I need to talk to you about," I admitted, "but let's go someplace private."
"The only privacy your gonna get from these bloodsuckers is the rez," he laughed.
"Okay, let's go."
He stopped laughing. "W-what, are you serious?"
"No, I'm kidding, good joke." I rolled my eyes and gave him an impatient stare.
"Okay, what's going on, Leah? Why are you in the Cullen's house? And who else is in that room? I smell someone else, someone new, someone human..." He tried to crane his neck and look past me, but I pushed him out into the hall and shut the door.
"That's what I need to talk to you about, idiot!" I smacked his forehead with my hand. "Now, come on, I'll race you. And by race I mean I'll beat you so bad you'll cry big, salty tears of shame!"
"Sure, sure," he smiled and then lunged for the stairs. That's what I love about Jake, he shows no mercy. No wasting time on ladies first or holding doors, just straight, in your face competition.
I heard the front door slam and decided that I had given him enough of a head start. I ran to the end of the hall, slid back the window, and jumped. I tore off my dress and phased before it even fluttered to the ground. I didn't bother taking it with me, I'd stop home and get something more my style.
So, what exactly is this whole "talk" gonna be about, Leah? I knew the Cullens were keepin' something from me, they told me to take Nessie and stay at my house for the day, but I never dreamed the secret was about you. Jake said in his head. I could tell he was disgruntled, he was the Alpha and he didn't like not knowing what was going on with his pack.
Aw, worried about your right hand woman? I smirked. I'm flattered, can't you see me blushing?
Don't fuck with me, Leah, you hated the Cullens and now you're all good pals? You wouldn't even go near the house and now you've got your own room? Something weird is going on and I want to know. Now.
Do it, Jake, order me. MAKE me tell you right NOW. Order me because you're too impatient to wait for me to tell you like a normal human being.
Sheesh, what are you, PMS-ing? He sent me a mental picture of rolling his eyes.
Ugh, you're a sexist ass, I snarled.
And you're a stubborn bitch, he chuckled.
Meet me at my house, I need to change, I said flatly.
What about our race? He questioned.
I don't feel like racing, I responded and threw on a burst of speed. I was done messing around with this.
I phased outside my house and jumped through my bedroom window. I didn't worry about Jake seeing me, he was at least five minutes behind.
I looked at my room and couldn't help but feel like I was saying goodbye. I knew I could always come back, but it would never truly be home again. My home was wherever Luke was and Luke could never come here. I sighed, put on some cargo pants and a long-sleeved, black shirt and then grabbed a backpack and a duffle bag. I threw most of my clothes in the pack, along with some other personal stuff, and zipped it shut. I folded up the quilt on my bed and placed it in the bottom of the duffle bag. Next came my pillow, my toothbrush, my last pair of shoes, and my photo albums. I remembered what I had said earlier about getting Luke a robe and I walked to my mom's bedroom. I opened her closet and found my father's clothes exactly as they had been since the day he died. I took a robe and a few more things before carefully folding them and adding them to the bag. I don't think dad would have minded, after all, they were for the man I loved. Plus he was dead, what did he need clothes for?
"Leah, what on earth are you doing?" My mother gasped.
"M-mom," I stuttered and hastily shut the closet.
"Are you leaving?" she asked, looking at my duffle bag and then at me.
"I...no," I said lamely. "Well, sort of. Just for a little while."
She sighed and walked out of the room, motioning for me to follow her. Our walk ended in the living room.
"I think I always knew you would leave, my daughter. Reservation life was never the life for you, I could see that, you don't need boundaries nor do you like them." She laughed sadly.
"Mom, I'll come back, I'll be close by."
"Silly child," she snapped in her commanding voice, "I know that. I'm telling you not to worry about me, I can get along without you, your mother is strong. Just...just don't be a stranger, Leah." She walked over to the cabinet that held all of our tribal heirlooms and opened one of the doors. She took out a bright blue necklace made with ceramic beads and handed it to me. I think I remembered my grandmother wearing it before she passed on.
"Never forget where you came from, Leah, never forget your tribe. It is what you are, it is who you are."
I didn't know what to say to that so, I chose to hug her and try not to tear up. "Thanks, mom, I'll...uh...call."
She laughed, "I'll answer."
She released me and walked to her bedroom. Neither of us were any good at saying goodbye.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
I rolled my eyes, I guess I was taking too long, pardon me for having an emotional moment. God, forbid I keep Jacob waiting, he had important things to do: drool over Nessie, laugh with Nessie, stare at Nessie, kill little animals with Nessie, pine over how he was going to be a virgin for about eight more years, and then think about how Edward was going to decapitate him when he finally deflowered Nessie. Like I said, important things.
"I'm coming, keep your pants on. Literally. I've seen your junk more times than I can count and once was MORE than enough." I smirked and stepped out of my house the last time for...awhile.
"Yeah, yeah, tell me you're not impressed," he chuckled.
"I'm not impressed. I'm sickened actually."
"Sure, sure." He waved his hand dismissively.
"Ugh, you know, I saw this comic one time where there was this really creepy kid who said 'rape is just sex you never know you wanted'. You're that guy." I hissed.
"At least I'm pretty." He shrugged.
"You want to hear what I have to say or not?"
He made like he was zipping his lips, plopped down on the ground and patted the spot of dirt beside him. I sat on the opposite side of where his hand indicated I should-because I'm a rebel like that-and told him the whole angsty story of Luke. Everything from the disgruntled hospital greeting lady to the spur ambulance purchase.
"The stupid blood suckers actually bought an ambulance!" He laughed.
"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either," I muttered and shook my head.
Insert awkward pause where I sat sulkily and Jake tried to stop laughing like an ape.
"Sooooo," he finally said, "imprinting...kinda crazy, huh?"
"That's one way of putting it."
"You know, I have to admit I'm surprised," he chuckled again.
"And why, may I ask, is that?" I rolled my eyes. What, was my life really so sad that he thought I was destined to be alone and bitter forever?
"Well, I don't know, I always sort of thought...well, I thought you always had a thing for me. It's weird knowing that you found someone else..."
Insert awkward silence where I wait for Jake to tell me he was kidding and have a good laugh. Yeah, no laughing, he was serious.
"YOU THOUGHT WHAT!" I yelled and my eyes felt like they were about to pop out of their sockets and kick him in the face.
"I don't know," he said looking scared, "I mean, you joined my pack even though you hated the Cullens, you stayed around with me even after the whole Nessie thing was settled, and you even wanted to run away with me that one time!"
Seriously? Seriously? He thought I secretly pined for a piece of Jacob Black? Jackass.
"YOU ARE THE BIGGEST, MOST SELF CENTERED, PIG I HAVE EVER MET!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. My skin was shaking and I could feel my fists clenching, though, I was powerless to stop it.
"Calm down, Leah, my mistake!" He said with palms raised in a sign of surrender. "Really, obviously I'm no relationship guru, I messed up, please don't explode out of your clothes!"
I took a deep breath, reminded myself that it wasn't Jake's fault he was such a huge idiot, and tried my best not to "explode out of my clothes". I liked these pants.
"I NEVER thought of you as anything but a friend-slash-leader-slash-really annoying neighbor. Got it?" I pointed at him and gave him a menacing look. He nodded and I decided it was safe to sit beside him again.
Ew, Leah Black, just the sound of it made my skin crawl.
"So, I guess you want me to use my mighty Alpha authority to give you permission to turn Luke?" He sighed.
"Actually, I just wanted to tell you about my day, but I guess that works too," I half-smiled.
"Yeah, well, I give you my permission, treaty on stand-by, whatever," He sighed like he had done this one to many times and then his expression grew sad. "You know, when I did this for Bella, I never really thought I'd have to do it again."
"Sorry for ruining your expectations."
"I guess I do owe you. You've been surprisingly tolerable through this whole ordeal," he chuckled.
"Better than Paul?" I smiled.
"Definitely better than Paul," he agreed.
"Sweet, my life is complete." I patted him on the back, lifted myself off the ground, and made to leave.
"It's funny, kinda cruel even, that you and me are so alike." He sighed. I turned to see that he was on his feet too.
"What do you mean?" My eyes narrowed with the suspicion that he was about to say something stupid again.
"You and me are in like, the same boat, or whatever. Bella and Sam, Emily and Edward, Nessie and Luke. It's like some crazy, fucked up twilight zone." He shook his head and turned away. "You loved Sam and just when you thought you might have him forever, boom, Emily came and took him away. Just like what Bella did to me when Edward came back. Well, sort of. I mean, Bella wasn't exactly with me like you were with Sam, but I could see it, she was close to letting me in. A few more weeks without that leech and we would have been together. If I didn't have Nessie, I don't think I'd be able to get over it, I'm still not completely over it, but now I have Ness. That's all that really matters in the end. Just like you have Luke. He doesn't make you forget about Sam, he just makes you realize that he's not what you want anymore. There's someone more when you thought you could never find anything as good as what you had before."
I just starred at him with wide eyes. His words were...surprisingly logical. Huh, who knew Jake had it in him. Certainly not me. I had always sympathized with Bella, I always thought that me and her were like two peas in a pod. Her boy left her, my boy left her, but in reality we were nothing alike. Her story was not only separate from mine, but it was in a totally different genre! And Jake...well, Jake had been put through everything I had. We'd both had our shares of heartbreak and headaches. I guess I never saw it because I never really bothered to step back and look at the big picture. Maybe it was because his story was already done, he had his happy ending while mine was still a hundred pages away. Or maybe it was because I didn't like comparing myself to a guy, whatever. I saw it now.
"You know, if none of this existed, no vamps, no wolves, no supernatural shit, things would be different. You'd be with Bella and Sam would never have left me," I said.
"Yeah, humans have it so simple, sucks that they have a shelf life."
"At least that's one advantage of this semi-charmed kind of life, we get to live it forever." I laughed humorlessly.
"Forever young," he smirked, continuing my song quotage. Wow, I needed to get outta there before we started braiding each other's hair.
"Well, thanks. For...yeah." I said lamely.
"Off to see Sam?" He asked, handing me my duffel bag as I swung my back pack over my shoulder.
"Yup."
"Good luck," he gave me a sympathetic look, clapped me on the back, and took off into the woods.
Good luck indeed.
Chapter End Notes:
So, yeah, I decided to split the whole Sam and Jake encounter into two chapters. Sorry, but I'm sure you'll get over it. Write me somethin' and I'll write back. Until next time!
Oh, and thanks for everyone who very graciously nominated. I am your writing slave. And thanks for everyone who is first reading, continuing to read, or staring blankly at this story! You guys are sweet-tastic. (Yes, that is a made up word).
***Oh, and as for all of you who have been leaving me comments: first of all, you guys are awesome, second of all, I'm sorry I haven't responded to very many of them. On it doesn't let you see which comments you've already responded to (or if it does, I'm technologically challenged and don't know how to find out) and I don't want to send one person like 4 responses and have them thinking I'm a crazy stalker...So, if you truly want a response to your comment I would suggest leaving one at (TWILIGHTED . NET) if you have an account. If not, I can't make any guarantees, but I'll try my hardest to respond to all of your comments. I'm not just one of those authors who is like, "pshhhh, commoners who read my stories and then praise me, how dare they? Off with their heads!" Okay, I don't really know anyone who does that, but what I'm trying to say is that I do read-and appreciate-every single message I get. So, thanks again! 3 ToWriteLoveOnAPage AKA GiveYourImmortalityToMe AKA Connelly.