The will to live

Mikan was in complete darkness. She couldn't see anything, but she heard voices. They were whispering, but to her it sounded like they were screaming at her.

"Look, it's that decietful kitten."

"I heard she kills people."

"Don't get to close to her, who knows what kind of lies she will tell you."

"You can't trust a murderer after all."

Mikan put her hands over her ears to block out the sound and screamed:

"THAT'S NOT HOW IT IS! I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE! DON'T SAY THAT!"

Suddenly faces started to appear in front of her. The first couple of faces she didn't recognice at first, but when she heard them mumble it suddeny struck her. This was the people she had killed on her missions! They looked at her with accusing looks and mumbled:

"She killed me, that bitch."

"I had a family back home, why did I have to die?"

She fell down on her knees, still clutching her head.

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!"

Then it suddenly got really quiet and she looked up. For a minute she couldn't breath. In front of her stood Natsume and looked at her with a cold look in his crimson eyes.

"I didn't think you were that kind of person Mikan. I didn't think you were a murderer. Don't ever come near me again."

Mikan stared at him for a moment, before putting her face in her hands. She could feel the tears run down her cheeks and she was shaking uncontrolled.
"Maybe it's better for everyone if I just give up. I just have to dissapear for the world to be a better place. This world doesn't need me."

She suddenly felt pain in her left cheek and looked up. She couldn't believe her eyes.

"Hotaru?"

Hotaru was standing in front of her, and she looked furious.

"What are you doing giving up, idiot? Don't you realize that people are waiting for you to wake up? You can do that, and keep on living together with your friends. But you need to want to. Don't you want to live?"

Mikan lowered her head. And then she glanced at the image of Natsume that was still standing behind Hotaru.

"But there is noone waiting for me. Don't you see? I just scared away the one that would have waited for me."

Hotarus eyes softened as she gently put her hand on Mikans head. When she started talking Mikan looked up in surprise.

"You have really come to like that boy haven't you?"

Mikan just nodded.

"But you really are an idiot. Do you honestly believe that he would start hating you because of this? You saved his life, and he knows that. He's waiting patiently for you to wake up. Listen, can't you hear it?"

Mikan listened carefully. And sure enough, somewhere in the distance was a voice. It was calling her name. She turned her head towards the voice and started shaking again. She knew that voice. He really was waiting for her. She looked back at Hotaru.

"Thank you. I will be going then..."

"Good idiot." Hotaru smiled at her and the image dissapeared. The last thing Mikan heard from her was a distant "Goodbye Mikan." She closed her eyes.

"Goodbye Hotaru, and thank you."

Then she opened her eyes again and turned towards the voice. She started walking and after a little while she saw a light.

Natsume sat at the edge of the hospital bed, holding Mikans hand and calling her name. The doctor that got sent to her room had insisted that she was moved to the hospital. There, they had dressed her wound but they couldn't make her wake up. He remembered that the doctor said that wether she woke up or not depended on her will to live. So he stayed by her side at all times, never letting go of her hand. He hoped that he would be able to give her the strength to wake up. He had heard her mumble a few times, and he didn't like what he heard. It was like she was telling someone to shut up and stop saying something. Then she had suddenly gotten quiet and instead of mumbles, tears started to drop down on her face. They had been running the whole time since then, and he was wondering what was going on in her head. He suddenly heard her mumble again, but this time her voice was calm. "Goodbye Hotaru. And thank you." He flinched from surprise when he suddenly felt her hand twist. He quickly looked up at her face, and saw that she had opened her eyes. She was looking at him with an expression he couldn't deshipher.

"Sorry to keep you waiting kiddo."