Editing Note: This chapter was pulled in December for editing, and with it re-posted, it means that PTB is completely caught up! I changed and added a good bit to this chapter. I don't know if those of you who've read it before, remember what happened, but you might want to reread this. When I began editing, it just didn't feel right the way it was, and I've been away from Caius and Bella for too long (November, I think) that I just couldn't pick up where I left everything. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's how it is. Some details I had withheld for future chapters were just better suited in this one. Will you let me know what you think?

Also, a WARNING/SPOILER to readers who don't like stories with different POVs—there are new ones here. I have my reasons, which some are at the end of the chapter. Though I hope to see you there, please don't read this is fic if you can't stand different POVs and have nothing nice or constructive to say. I understand that you have preferences; hence, the warning.

Apologies (a.k.a. excuses): Please forgive me for how late I'm updating. I've been extremely busy with moving and selling my house, taking care of three kids, keeping a husband happy, and all the other crap life likes to dish out. I do have to be honest though, and say that I was terrified of posting this chapter. I hope I don't disappoint anyone.

A huge "Thank you" to everyone who has read this fic, and especially to those who've reviewed and added this to their favorites/alerts. You all are REALLY awesome.

Thanks to my betas, TwiMarti and DreaC. You both are more than the best betas, but awesome women as well. CareMarie and Shirley007—I heart you, babes! Thank you for the much-needed encouragement.

All right... Onward!

"The Past" by Sevendust, featuring Chris Daughtry

Chapter Ten

In Loving Memory

Previously . . .

I had to ask the red-eyed vampire, and it came out as a stutter. "M—Mrs. Bl—lack?"

She grinned. "Hello, Bella. You grew up beautifully, just as I knew you would. Although Billy and I are still good friends, I am no longer Mrs. Black. It's Sarah Aki. Mrs. Taha Aki."

ISABELLA SWAN

I stumbled back in absolute shock and disbelief, gasping and knocked to the point that I was on my ass. Although I could have righted myself, I hadn't tried; I had thrown my hands up to stave her and Caius from getting any closer. My mind screamed that this couldn't be right—that it wasn't right. Something was wrong, entirely off kilter. Over and over my mind continued to screech . . . echo . . . until it went eerily silent.

I felt something within me snap back into place as I watched the two slump in relief. Only then did I recall, with a strange and slow clarity, what had happened and what I had done. There had been a sickening crack before she and Caius were whipped back and pressed against the wall and the shroud of invisibility had veiled my vision. All without a conscious thought.

My gift was useful, but I still couldn't control it, and I began to wonder if I even could.

I shook my head. That's not the point right now. How was she here? When did this happen? What happened? Who . . .?

I rubbed my face and tried to focus on one thing. Flaming red. Mate. Erede. The Volturi. The Cullens. Doors . . . tons of them. It all began churning in my head, making me wince from the sudden onslaught of images and info; as though someone tossed burdened piles of paper in the air of a cavernous hall, and I was both helpless and entranced to watch them fall and cruelly swirl.

Mrs. Black . . . I grabbed and held onto the name that flitted through my now ever-expanding mind. I hadn't really believed it to be her and was more than surprised I had even recognized her, since I couldn't remember when I saw her last. Like an old Polaroid, the fading was of her russet skin turned softly pallid white. The shadow of an outline exactly how I pictured her: long dark hair, high cheekbones, and almond-shaped eyes. In my mind—and standing before me—was a changed snapshot of the frozen woman . . . who had died so long ago.

The still image perfectly captured a second in time.

For that was what pictures were, and what everything would be—a split second in the expanse of forever. A time . . . that already began to feel like another age, a distant and different life. It was one of simplicity and ignorance, of mud pies and fishing.

"Jake doesn't know, does he?" I sighed and shook my head. I knew the answer and tugged my hair; my hand was slightly trembling. "Of course, he doesn't. I know we talked about you—I remember it—and he never would've kept this from me if he knew."

My best friend's mother looked down, ashamed and nodding. "You're right, he doesn't know. Billy and I wanted—"

"Oh God, that's right. You said that you and Billy are still friends." I paused and then scoffed harshly. "No wonder! I remember now the elders never talked about you. They wouldn't talk about you; Billy especially wouldn't. Jake had to keep all of your photos hidden in his room, and everyone assumed it was because it was just too hard on his dad to see them around the house. It was part of the reason why Becca and Rachel left."

She was quiet and didn't offer anything else.

Now it was my turn to look down ashamed. I hadn't meant to sound so accusing. I just didn't know how to feel, even though I was feeling everything: shocked, hopeful, sad, thankful, deceived . . . angry. Jake would have a second chance to know his mother, yet the circumstances were less than ideal—beyond it, actually—and I hated the fact. I felt guilty that I started to blame her and the tribe for this situation, for allowing it to happen and putting us—me—in this position, when I was sure they couldn't help it. Not only was the pack my family, the tribe was as well; they had all been there for me. But, Jake was my best friend, and he had the right to know.

My head shot up and I searched her face. She reminded me so much of him . . .

"You're telling him, aren't you? I can't keep this from him." The very idea made my gut twist, and I gasped. "I won't."

She looked at Caius, who was obviously irritated as he turned to glare at her.

"Do not look at me," he snapped. "I wished for you to wait on revealing yourself. I have not gotten the chance to tell her a thing, for she has been awake for less than two hours. Of course, I should have expected you—" He stopped abruptly, his mouth clamping into a grim line. Then, just as suddenly, he sighed heavily and grabbed her hand.

I felt my head tilt to the side and my eyes narrow on her beautiful, yet bony hand clasping his. My muscles were twitching, bristling. I didn't like anyone else touching him, and he really shouldn't be touching her. I swallowed the growl that almost ripped from my lips, though I only half-heartedly tried to stop the rumbling in my chest.

I knew my reaction was ridiculous; there was nothing romantic between them—or us. But now, I didn't know who I was more resentful toward: them or me. Them—for their obvious closeness. Or me—for even wanting the same easy familiarity, albeit an intimate one with Caius. Yet, in turn, I resented them more, because they made me feel this, made me want something I couldn't have. I couldn't act on how I felt; even though there was no need, I couldn't claim him, for I was nowhere near ready . . . or deserving. They reminded me of that fact—that I wasn't ready and might never be.

They made me feel weak . . . and I didn't like it.

I immediately cringed from the bitterness, the clench of possessive longing, the . . . the dark thoughts ready to consume and lash out, and I looked away, realizing that none of it mattered. None of these feelings were really my own as it was instinct, and I knew nothing good would come from it.

Still, I glanced at them from the corner of my eye and saw Caius peering at me from the corner of his. Pitifully, my stomach flipped and then dropped. I ignored it.

Caius squeezed her hand and immediately let go. "I know that you were excited to see her," he said. "You know that I understand. You have not seen anyone from your old life for a long while. However, you should not have come here so soon."

He turned to look at me, and his eyes softened, though nothing else did in the stony exterior. "Let us go to your room, and we will explain everything to you there. Then afterward, you may call Jacob."

I nodded and stood up, scared but resolute to talk to Jake. Mrs. Bla—Mrs. Aki—stepped back inside the elevator.

Wait a second. Her husband's name, Taha Aki, sounds familiar. Where have I—

I groaned. I would find out soon enough.

I began to wonder if vampires could have ADHD. I knew my attention span was better than this when I was . . . when I was . . . human. It was hard to think that I was no longer one while I studied each thread of the rug as my feet shuffled across it—when my emotions made me feel undeniably human. True, I was distracted easily, but I could still process my surroundings and numerous thoughts all at once, which probably wasn't helping me in the focusing department. I felt mortally disoriented and inhumanly sharp at the same time. I felt . . . stuck.

I paused at the elevator doors and looked up expectantly at Caius. I tried to keep my face devoid of the fact that my chest felt heavy while he regarded me intently, searching. His eyes flashed with something—sorrow, maybe—and then they locked on mine. My stomach churned from the quiet intensity of his gaze before plummeting again, and I prayed it didn't show as I held firm.

After a moment, he nodded, comprehending that I wanted him to go in first.

I sighed, relaxing minutely, and then followed him inside. I didn't care about gallantry right now, and I definitely didn't trust anyone behind me.

As we rode the elevator up, I pondered how old he was and how long he had existed. I refused to glance at his reflection on the metal doors; I didn't want to meet the stare I could feel on me, and I knew I could use my perfect . . . vampire memory. He looked around 25, 26 years old. Aro had said his—part of my—own family line died before the Common Era, and it baffled me to think that Caius came from such a time. Did men of that era have good manners? For some reason, I figured them to be somewhat barbaric.

Edward had been all about being the gentleman—to a fault. I got the feeling that, because my sire was more than several centuries old, he was no longer the man he once was, that the valor was buried deep under an angry exterior and the bitterness was snuffing out the optimism of his youth. From seeing his reaction to Jake's mom, I could tell he was passionate about his principles, though he could appear cruel because of them. Nevertheless, he could be sympathetic and humane because of this fervor and would more than act on it because of his true character.

On the other hand, I didn't actually know what his principles were. There was a lot of outward animosity, and it made me question his standards.

Admittedly, I wanted to know him—his life and his story, why he was the way he was. To get to know him, learn him, was almost a need . . .

I was suddenly lanced with such overwhelming emotions that I nearly keeled over from the force. Caius was no better; he staggered forward before catching himself and stood rigidly with hands grasping his forearms behind him, his eyes squeezed shut and jaw clenched. He was gasping for air—we both were. It happened so abruptly, as if we both had been punched in the gut, and I couldn't get my bearings. Yet, it was also painstakingly warming—to the core. I was being filled with such . . . light, that it made it even harder to breathe. It was engulfing. And as another impassioned current shot through the elevator, you could hear the whoosh of the air as it seemed to be sucked out of the confined space, like the air in a raging fire.

Oh, to know him was a need all right—one as deep and hot as the fiery depths of Hell.

And it made me boil.

And I was goddamned terrified.

I stomped on and squelched the latter.

Did I really want to know him, or was it something else? I gritted my teeth angrily. I fought against the desire to know him, to touch him, as it hummed through my body, and it had nothing to do with the humming of the elevator that was moving too damn slowly.

Fucking. Hell.

Did I get a choice at all? What if I didn't want a mate? My foot began to tap incessantly. But, it wasn't just from my impatience for the doors to open, or to tame the nerves I was still keenly experiencing. It was from buzzing excitement. The light that enflamed me from within was . . . joy.

And damn it all to—

Oh, thank God!

The three of us practically stumbled into the hallway, silently and awkwardly. But we didn't run. No . . . We walked—calmly—as though none of that had happened. I would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all if I hadn't been suddenly so aware of Caius. With each purposeful stride, I could hear his clothing caress the form they covered. I could even see the brawn—how the muscles in his back rippled beneath the dark grey dress shirt. With his shoulder length hair and tall frame, he moved sinuously—all graceful strength and power. One could describe it as haughty with the edge of a predator, yet what I saw was the prowess of not a man with intent, but a resolute warrior on a mission. The image made my body tingle.

I knew what happened in that elevator; it was glaringly obvious. My soul recognized—acknowledged—his, and as it yearned to connect, so did my body.

I tried to focus on the idea of soul mates instead. Who deemed them compatible? What made Caius and me compatible? Was it destiny…fate? Or was it really the splitting of one person, as Aristophanes so presented in Plato's The Symposium? That the two halves were condemned by Zeus to search their entire lives for the other. As depressing as it was, I used to like the notion. I still did.

I stopped in my tracks, realizing then what that would mean—that a person would only have one soul mate. I thought of what that would have meant for me and Edward—if he had changed me, that is. What if we had found our mates later down the road? Was that why he wouldn't change me, because I wasn't his mate? But he made it seem like it was because of my soul. So which was it? I never did believe that vampires lost their souls; yet the belief was abruptly pushed aside, because I questioned if the others knew that we weren't fucking mates. At the very least, Edward had to, right?

I became conscious of the noise at the back of my throat; it was growling, deep seated and continuous. Sand and rubble started coming down from the ceilings as my mind ran through the possibilities.

Caius stepped toward me, but then he stopped short.

"Isabella?" he asked so damn cautiously—tenderly—that I shot him a seething glare. I was not a wounded animal.

The struts of this monstrosity of a castle began to groan. The windows and furniture rattled. I knew what was coming, and by the look on Caius's face, so did he. He met my glare with his piercing scowl, yet somehow with an expectant brow raised, but I could sense a bit of sadness and harsh disappoint as well.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to calm myself down. I couldn't destroy this place even more than I already had, and I really did need to learn how to control myself.

It was just so frustrating! All of these sudden revelations, foreign feelings, and the unfamiliar me.

I wanted to yell and thrash. Too much was happening at once.

I wanted to cry. So much was changing.

And I wished . . . I wished that Jacob were here, for he would be the only thing that could make me and everything else feel seemingly normal. I bit my lip to stop it from quivering, because I felt the back of my eyes burn and knew that I wouldn't ever shed real tears again.

I tried to quell the shaking of my body while holding in a sob, and my chest heaved.

I wouldn't ever sleep again. I wouldn't go to college. I wouldn't eat delicious food or even cook it. I actually guzzled down blood. I wouldn't be able to be in the sun without making sure that I wasn't seen. I couldn't ever see my parents again.

I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the angry and painful wail tearing up my throat.

So much was gone, and I never appreciated it as much as I should have until now—when I could never get any of it back.

My knees buckled from the weight of reality.

Before I could hit the floor and bitterly claw at it, two pairs of arms wrapped around me at the same time. Though I flinched from the contact and began to push them away, Caius and Jacob's mom only squeezed me tighter.

I trembled. It was what I needed, yet shouldn't want. To be touched . . .

But oh, his arms were so comforting, and I couldn't help but instinctively wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest. Then, I breathed in deeply. The scent of him reminded me of home, yet he smelled . . . masculine. It was refreshing cedar and clean pine. I imagined flying through the La Push forests on the back of a wolf, and a sob escaped me.

Caius's arms loosened, only for him to move my arms, and then he grasped me better—closer—lifting me because of his height. Then, I realized . . . he wasn't trying to comfort me; he was trying to hold me together—he was helping me hold myself together.

It was then that I broke.

I let myself dry sob and shook freely, openly. I let my memories and the emotions they carried wash over me. And I vowed . . . that I would remember them. No matter how long I existed.

The fact that I could count how long we were standing that way—8 minutes and 27 seconds—made me shake and sob harder, and I tried even harder not to take the rage inside of me out on the man holding me. Even though I knew I was already squeezing his neck, he didn't complain. I felt his face in my hair and near my cheek. His chest rose and fell as he breathed in deeply, calmly. The rhythm was soothing. As I focused on him and his breathing, I found myself calming down and the rage cease.

He spoke into my ear quietly and somberly. "Every single one of us experiences this soon after we wake and have our first feeding. We realize how much will never be the same, and all the changes can be overwhelming. Emotions are stronger and never settle. Thoughts become more distinct, yet are in rapid succession." He paused, letting me grasp that this was indeed normal. I nodded, affirming and grateful. Then, he breathed out passionately, "However, it will get better with time. I . . . I promise."

"It's true, Bella," Mrs. Aki whispered, somewhere beside me. "Everything will be okay. You'll be okay. Please, just give us a chance to help you."

I nodded and shakily said, "I'll try."

And I would, because there was no one else to help me. I knew the Cullens couldn't—not with my diet. In fact, I didn't want their help; I didn't trust them any more than I trusted all these new vampires.

"Can I please, please call Jacob now?" I begged them. I didn't know why I even had to ask. I didn't think I was a prisoner, but it seemed like they wouldn't let me call him.

Caius leaned back and searched my eyes intensely. His garnet eyes smoldered with something I couldn't identify. I was surprised that the flame inside of me wasn't scorching, though it still blazed if not brighter than before. I felt him run his fingers through my hair, skimming the nape of my neck, down my back. I held in a shiver. Then, realizing that his other arm was still wrapped around my waist—or more precisely the thumb of his other hand was rubbing my hip—I swallowed hard, trying not to panic and squirm. He gave me a gentle squeeze, before setting me down and releasing me.

He nodded and answered, "There is something you need to know before you call Jacob. Something I need to tell you, first."

I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

He looked out the window. "I think it would be better to do this outside. The sun is beginning to set, and we could use the courtyard."

When he gazed back at me, I could see anger, sadness, and maybe a little shame etched in his perfect face. Then, it became a resolute mask.

Caius slowly reached forward and grabbed my hand. "Follow me. Be mindful of your strength while you run."

I tried and still cracked a few stairs.

SARAH AKI

Although I had come to regret making an early appearance, I was glad I didn't miss this. I had missed so much already, and there was only one moment in time when a soul found its mate.

And seeing Caius hold Bella in his arms was one remarkable sight to see.

It wasn't too often that vampires found their other half, and I had been worried—though ecstatic—for the two of them. I knew Caius and his impatient, unforgiving temper. He generally didn't like people—he downright hated them—and he was rarely affectionate because of it. Obviously, there were times he could be . . . warm, but that was only when he understood someone, and he would have to be extremely close to the person to begin with. Even then, there had to be a legitimate reason. It took me almost eight years to gain Caius's trust and friendship. It was the record for the few of us here in Volterra who actually got the opportunity to know him.

Well, it was the record when Peter wasn't here. And now, there was Bella.

If it weren't for the fact that Bella was Caius's mate, Peter would challenge her to a duel and somehow ensure he won the title, just so he could have another one. He still might, though halfheartedly. Peter would be just as excited as I was about this fast-track development and the two mates, and I wouldn't be surprised if he were already on his way here.

As the newfound mates gazed at each other, I knew that if I were human, I would have goose bumps from my own excitement and the energy that surrounded them. It might have been because of my gift, but I didn't think so. You didn't need to see auras to witness the connection, the profound need for these two to be complete.

But then, their auras did blend together beautifully and told a story all on their own.

Many were confused, but red stood for passion—not love—and these two held it in spades and shades. Mixed with their own numerous tones—orange: courage and thoughtfulness, blue: healing and compassion, violet: wisdom, indigo: highly intuitive and a seeker—it made a tapestry of light. Of course, there were dark colors here and there—muddied red for anger; black for past hurts; the dark green of insecurity; a dark gray overlay for guardedness. But, that was what made the glowing colors even more lovely—when they shone through.

What was even more captivating was that when they looked at each other, their auras almost doubled in size and depth—something I had never seen or heard of. It engulfed everything around them, even themselves. The way their auras played off each other, creating a bright white light . . . well, it was beyond glorious.

And it was even more astonishing that it was Bella Swan who was destined to join Caius. If it were not such a welcoming surprise, I would be mercilessly mocking him at this moment for thinking that he had no mate; that if he were fated to have one and meet his, he could "resist and send her away." That was Caius for you—always so presumptuous.

But then again, so was I. I thought I would make things easier on Bella if she saw someone she knew, and by no means was Bella the person I would have guessed for him, though I saw it clearly now.

And here, I had believed I would never see her again—someone from the life I no longer lived, someone who was so close to the little boy I never got to watch grow into the man he was today. Yes, I have seen the pictures the elders would send me of him along with their informative letters, but I didn't truly know Jacob.

When he had first shifted, Billy and I were mainly concerned with how and when we would tell him. We had hoped that after he graduated he would become the Alpha, that age and wisdom might help him listen and accept the circumstances given to each of us.

Although in all honesty, it was mainly fear of the unknown that held us back this past year. How do you tell a young man that the mother he believed was dead was still walking this earth and would until the end of time? That she was his supposed enemy and had red eyes? How would he cope with the fact that I looked just as I did 13 years ago—the last time he saw me—and had not aged a day? How do you tell your son that I, as his mother, was the imprint of another man—one that was not his father? Would he forgive us and Aki, especially now that they have grown closer in just a few days' time? Would Jacob be shunned by what was supposed to be his pack if he were to love me? Would he even accept me for what I was now, or would he turn me away?

One of the greatest—and unknown—fears of a parent was not being forgiven by our children for the choices we have had to make, some if not most on their behalf; to have our hard decisions thrown in our face was not something we looked forward to, least of all expect. While we were not perfect, we did try our best, and it would end me if I never got to be there for my own son, now more than ever, as the dream I carried for our future burned more vividly than ever before. Finding out that Jacob wished to stay friends with Bella was a great blessing, for it gave me even the smallest bit of hope.

But I still didn't believe it was the right time to tell him.

When Caius, Bella, and I reached the courtyard behind the castle, I stood back and watched Bella's reaction. She looked in awe of the Tuscan countryside while the sun began to set, her eyes darting from one place to another.

I smiled, remembering what being a newborn was like. Oh, it was hard. It was more than troubling and disorienting. But, surprisingly, being a vampire also made things more beautiful, and again, it had nothing to do with my gift or even the supernatural abilities that came with the change. It could make things clearer, make someone more appreciative, or it could do the complete opposite as it often had. It all depended on perspective.

My smile became a grin, because of mine, because of where I was standing and what I was witnessing before me. Bella didn't know she was towing Caius along with her as she took in the view, and Caius appeared to be enjoying her stunned absorption and the contact.

Barely-there pink tinged his aura . . .

I looked away, giving them another moment to themselves. My grin dimmed. I could see dark clouds rolling in, bringing rain and the thunderstorm they carried upon us by tonight. The Great Spirit seemed to want to remind me of the hard times that would surely come. But, I was not naïve. I knew Caius and Bella had a rough road ahead of them. This stage would not last, and with their past experiences and temperaments, the two would have their work cut out for them. Yet, they would have help. I hoped my husband was prepared for the late night barrages from his best friend and not getting a good night sleep because of it. Caius really could bitch like no other.

In my peripheral, I saw Bella shake her head and slowly pulled her hand out of his. From the obvious dejection in both their eyes, they didn't like the loss and tried to hide it by looking down, except Bella seemed a little confused.

Caius looked away, and then back at her. Dipping his head, he whispered, "Yes, I feel that just as you."

I grinned. He was actually trying to be open and kind. He was already changing, and he didn't know it. And Great Spirit, help us when he does.

Bella looked up and searched his eyes; for what exactly, I had no clue. She nodded in return and then asked, "So, what exactly is it? Why can't I call Jacob now?"

"Here," Caius offered as he touched the small of her back to lead her to a stone bench.

They probably were not aware of it, but they were already in tune with each other. As I saw Bella stop herself from leaning into his hand, he too stopped himself from pressing into her. While they sat down, they turned toward each other, completely in sync and with just enough room for their knees not to touch. Both appeared to be stoic, but I knew better. The emotions raging through them could not be more obvious.

Caius looked more afraid than I had ever seen him as he tried to utter the words to her.

I knew he wouldn't tell her my story yet. For one, it was my story to tell, and he respected that. Second, Bella didn't need the details if she was already intent on calling Jacob. There was something more important for her to know at the moment anyway; no one wanted to hear or tell another that a loved one was dead over the phone.

After a few unsuccessful attempts, Caius sighed and grabbed her hand. "Do you remember that there were more vampires going to the Reservation?"

Bella's brows furrowed as she stared into his eyes. "Um . . . a little. Why?"

I saw the black and indigo color her as realization set in. She clutched his hand and arm. Gasping, she asked, "What is it? No. No! Who . . . who is it?"

Caius grabbed her quickly and pulled her into his lap. He embraced her fiercely and answered, "Sam."

Bella let out a wailing, "No!" before she and Caius disappeared.

Then, everything turned black.

JASPER WHITLOCK-HALE

Alec and Jane were amazing musicians. Whenever I came here to Volterra, I loved jamming with them. It was one of our favorite pastimes, and I really did miss it. Yet this time, we were playing in a brand new music room, and if I didn't know Caius as I did, I would have been floored to learn that he designed and built it for them.

I was playing on the badass custom drum set, Jane was playing fuck-awesome guitar riffs, and Alec was licking the shit out of bass.

We were laughing at our antics when we heard Bella scream. The three of us stopped playing and looked at each other, each bearing different faces as I caught their emotions. Mine was entirely of regret, Jane had a small pitying smirk but felt a bit remorseful, and Alec looked indifferent, yet self-loathing churned within him. Before we could pick up where we left off, the three of us passed out.

ARO VOLTURI

I was in bed, spending time with my lovely Sulpicia. We were reading between my family lineage and the vampire histories when I heard Isabella's own howl for the Alpha.

Sulpicia was alarmed and immediately stood up to go to her. I had the urge to tell my beautiful mate to wait and let Caius handle Isabella for the time being. He needed to learn. However, I stopped short, for not only would I not deny my wife anything she wanted, but I was stunned to silence as well.

I was taken off guard by the ache I felt in my own non-beating, black heart for Isabella's loss and sorrow. I have not felt such emotion since Didyme, and she was whom I bitterly and painfully thought of as I lost consciousness.

CARLISLE CULLEN

Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and I were sitting in the spacious, elegantly decorated living room given to us. From common knowledge of the Volturi and the time I spent with them, I knew we were being treated as an exception for the crime my family and I had committed. I knew we would not escape it unscathed, but I could hope as I always had.

At the moment, we were quietly discussing what could have our other three family members in such secretive situations. Jasper explained very little to us, and we have not heard from or about Edward and Alice. The last two were surprising, and I only prayed they were not in any trouble. Jasper, on the other hand, really worried me, for I never knew he was so acquainted with Volturi, even more so than I was.

I suddenly heard a female wail and Eleazar in the room across us exclaim, "Oh!" I immediately thought of what the family and I had been prolonging to talk about, since it still pained us and we had gotten used to avoiding the topic—Bella. As guilt consumed me, I welcomed the black.

DEMETRI VOLTURI

The last two things I could remember before an unexpected wave of nothingness hit me were an agonizing cry and Felix—my cheap shot of a brother—and his gigantic fist connecting with my face. Yet, I knew that the sudden void was from more than the sense he was supposed to knocking into me.

As I awoke some time later, I heard Caius's reverberating roar. "ARO! JASPER! ELEAZAR!"

Felix and I were already up and running toward Caius's direction.

"What in the hell do you think that was, brother?" asked Felix.

While I looked through all of the corridors we passed, I answered, "I do not know. Maybe it is Bella, since she is the only one that has an uncategorized gift in Volterra. Let us hope that it is she, and not something or someone else."

I noted that many of the windows were shattered on the backside of the castle. Although I wondered why, I only wanted to reach Caius, the Kings, and Bella—for she would be with Caius. There must be something terribly wrong as he cannot only take care of himself and another, but he rarely showed so much emotion other than anger, and never so openly. From the names he called out, I gathered he was not under attack. I knew then that it had to do with Bella, and I pushed myself to run faster.

Gabriel, Heidi, and Goose were behind us. I could hear some of The Guard in the corridor to our right, each one claiming when the area was clear of any invaders.

I knew it to be true, as I did not sense anyone here. Even though I mainly tracked, I still had a deep awareness when someone was near—especially if the intruder were in my home.

My gift worked in the oddest of ways. It locked onto a person's mind, and minds were like computers. It saved experiences and left cookies or trails. Everything a person touched was left with their signature. A person's signature was utterly unique, because of their experiences—pressure, time, emotion, and everything else one would come into contact with in life. The mind would automatically continue to save every bit of it, filing it away for future use—whether he or she were conscious of the fact or not, it altered a person. Couple that with how one would use their signature—a reaction—and it was called a process: a Central Processing Unit (CPU). And once I have met a person, seen how they move, speak, react, etc., I understood—tasted—how they processed things. I anticipated what they would do because I knew what drove them to do it—their mind.

Of course, it took me months to learn Bella's. I learned that it was not exactly because her mind was closed to the world, but what drove her was not her mind. For the first month, nothing drove her at all. She processed nothing. And ironically, those were the times I knew exactly what she would do. Then, when she came out of the cave she was living in, she would not make up her damn mind! It was as though everything, along with some external force, influenced the girl. She became predictable for a while, but yet again, she would flip. It left Felix and me flailing and seething at times.

Eventually, we learned she was not only a contradiction or enigma of sorts, but an immovable one at that. It was then we began to enjoy watching over her. Her guileless countenance, with her fiery temper, was unmatched. Her loyalty and dedication to the supernatural world—to the pack and the Cullens, even though they had hurt her—rivaled The Guard's. She could be selfish in one selfless act. Perceptive but obtuse. Passive, then compassionately reprimanding, or sometimes, passionately demanding. Everything about her was both light and dark at once. Soft, but gritty. Alluring, yet painful. Strong and weak.

Now that she was one of us, I knew it would be easier—and harder—to track her. Newborns almost always acted on instinct, but knowing Bella as I did, she would and would not act on those instincts. Yet, relearning and being able to track her was only my part of my worries. What she had experienced in that cabin could very well ruin her and the progress she made. No doubt, it would change her. With Caius's history, I was worried that he would not allow himself to feel for her—that he almost could not. Even though I knew she could handle Caius, I feared him making her transition even harder than need be. Hell, I was afraid for them both. Those two might just kill each other from denial alone.

As we reached the eastern atrium not a minute later, I saw Bella for the first time as a full-fledged vampire. How odd it was not seeing her human. I had gotten used to her heartbeat and appealing blood—but not appealing enough to eat. Well, that was before, and even then, I would not have sucked her dry. I had come to care for her—a dangerous notion for a Volturi guard, let alone a vampire. I also could not believe that she was even more beautiful than before.

I felt my chest clench when I finally noticed that she was in Caius's arms—absolutely limp.

He was holding her closely, scanning his surroundings, and speaking in a barely controlled panic to Sarah. "No, I only saw you pass out and then Isabella next. I did feel something for a few seconds, but I did not pass out at all."

Sarah squeezed his arm. "Everything will be okay. Bella will be okay."

Aro, Sulpicia, and Marcus arrived, followed by their personal guards. The Denali Coven and the Cullens were alarmed as they came in from the opposite stairwell, along with Jasper, Jane, and Alec. The remainder of The Guard stood in the shadows, alert and watchful.

I looked around, receiving subtle nods of confirmation that everything was clear as I did a head count. Thirty-five, including the two clans. Everyone was accounted for.

I caught Caius's gaze and nodded. He nodded minutely and gratefully before glancing down at Bella.

Aro stepped up to Caius cautiously and touched his hand at Bella's knees. "Caius, I cannot read you. Sarah?"

She laid out her palm for the King touch.

"Neither you," he said, both intrigued and frustrated.

Everyone stepped up, taking his or her turn quickly. Aro shook his head as he became increasingly more frustrated and angry. Last, he went to Bella.

"Oh, mia cara, you are something else," Aro crooned, touching her hair. I was certain that I had briefly seen a small mournful smile before it disappeared with the shake of his head. In its place, a cold, cutting expression as he demanded, "Eleazar, enlighten us. Now."

We all turned to Eleazar, and he tilted his head from side to side. "Well, I explained before that her gift is much like an introverted energy field. I would say she inadvertently projected it—more that it burst or flipped inside out. Since it is not our gift and our minds are not used to that kind of energy, we could not handle it and we blacked out. Caius, as to it having no effect on you, it may either be because you are mates or have similar minds."

I shook my head and interjected. "They do not have similar minds. I would consider them nearly opposites." It was true . . . to a point. Where Caius mainly saw things in black and white, Bella saw in shades of grey. They reasoned and justified things differently, but both were equally passionate about their views and very strong-willed.

Eleazar nodded, thinking, before he continued. "I have also said it before that Isabella's gift is similar to gravity, and that I can only get a feel for it when she projects it. This time, I learned that it can be the utmost gravity—a black hole—but only when it bursts as it did." He paused, and he seemed to choose his next words carefully as he spoke, "Now remember, I said that she uses energy from us. When the field is a black hole, it pulls in the gifts it encounters, meaning . . . meaning that she does take our gifts from us."

Everyone sucked in a sharp breath. Did he mean take away?

Eleazar nodded slowly, confirming.

We had never come across someone with such ability. Dread bore down on me, and I inched closer to her and Caius. She would be considered the most dangerous or the most coveted by the vampire race—if they ever heard such a thing. To us, the Volturi, she could be—

Eleazar looked around. "Now, hold on a second. Though I do not exactly know how long it lasts, it is not permanent, so do not fear."

The room barely relaxed.

"Moreover, when we use a gift on her, she gains it. And just like all gifts, it is not exactly like yours," he said, before smiling. "For example, you all know my gift is reading a person's personality—personal traits that pertain and sum up your ability. Isabella reads character value and what is ingrained in you—your . . . nurtured nature. She includes Aro and Demetri's gift with that as well; she will see images or files. Not of your life, but how she views you."

Eleazar's voice became quiet. It held the tone of awe and bordered-lined sorrow. "Even though she has never met Peter, she knows things. Carlisle even said that she knew his family was not human from the very beginning. Therefore, she is highly observant—intuitive, even—and that adds to her knowledge of a person. I would like to say that she already had this aspect of her gift—that it is part of her—the reading and knowing someone. It is not multiple abilities, but more that it is one ability. Her gift is all encompassing and all interrelated."

He took a deep breath and sighed. "I know it is confusing and frightening. I did say her ability was evolving. But, there is something you should know. Because of Jasper, Isabella has empathy. Yet, she sympathized with people already, and she only has empathy to a point. She will get bits and pieces of someone's emotions, but she cannot manipulate them. And, I believe that is simply because she does not want to a—"

We were all startled by an unexpected voice mumbling, "You're damn right I don't. Why would I want to do that?"

As we all turned to look at Bella, the source of that magnificent tone, Caius surprised everyone by responding with a hearty laugh and shifting her into a cheerful hold.

Bella laughed lightly and nervously in response. "What is this for?"

He put her down and grasped her face gently with both of his hands. He gazed into her eyes, his own smoldering with not only adoration and devotion, but . . . vulnerability. And then I knew . . . he would love her. And I would continue to protect her as my charge, as my Queen, and as my best friend's mate.

"You scare me." He finally breathed out. It was lighthearted, to sound as if he were joking, but even if I had not seen the previous look, I knew he was telling the truth. Caius would not lie even to save his own life.

Bella's hands flew up to cover his hands as she threw her head back and laughed with so much joyous humor, that we all could not help but smile.

"I'd normally think that's either a joke or a lie, but I know it's not," she quipped with a smirk, making Caius and the rest of us chuckle in response.

The new couple realized that they were not alone, and Bella disappeared out of thin air. There were gasps all around. Naturally, those who were not with us in rescuing Bella were shocked.

Caius glared at us as he reached behind him. "It is all right, Isabella. No one will hurt you here."

"I know, but I can't help it," she hissed. Yet, knowing her, she was slightly embarrassed.

"Do not feel that way. You have nothing, absolutely nothing, to be ashamed of," Caius gritted out, pulling her invisible frame closer to his back.

She must have nodded because Caius nodded once and looked to Eleazar. "You were saying?"

Eleazar cleared his throat, yet could not wipe the concerned and pleased smile from his face. "She does not want to manipulate what other people are feeling, so she cannot."

"No offense, Jasper," Bella apologized quickly.

Jasper was still grinning from ear to ear. "None taken, Bella."

Eleazar carried on. "Also, this might explain why our kind was so drawn to her—and still is—because now, and even when she was human, she gives us vampires a gift."

What? Truly? I guess it was not that hard to believe.

"And that is . . ." Caius prompted Eleazar impatiently.

"The gift is a small part from our human lives—a connection to it of sorts."

We all must have looked confused, because Eleazar sighed, exasperated.

"Does she remind you of someone, Caius?" Eleazar asked and looked at him expectantly. Caius's eyes widened.

Eleazar turned to the Cullens. "Carlisle, does she not give you the utmost hope? That there is still tolerance in this world? Esme, the real motherhood you lost? Rosalie, she gave you the humanity that you wished to have back, and when you are ready, she can give you the friendship and understanding you need most. Emmett, I believe you already know. She is similar to the little sister you never saw again since you were mauled."

He turned back to us and looked to Aro. "Is she not the relative you have always longed for, Aro, even when you were human? Sulpicia, the daughter that was taken from you when you were changed? Jasper, is it not her loyalty and dedication that reminds you of your fellow men? Your own fiancé, Demetri, that you watched being . . . murdered right in front of your eyes." He paused and looked around. "The list goes on and on."

For a split second in time, we were stunned to silence. Then, the keening and growls erupted in the atrium of the Volturi home.

Long-ass Author's Note:
Aura info and colors— magicalfreedom(dot)com
Mia Cara (Italian) — My Dear

References
**"The Symposium" by Plato— A sequence of speeches made by men at drinking party on the genesis, purpose, and nature of love.
**Sarah was in Chapter 8— Caius called Sarah and told her not to expect them in her home, and then he told Jake to tell Taha Aki to call his wife. Then, Taha Aki briefly explained what happened with his imprint.
**Bella's Gift (Eleazar's 1st observation and explanation)— Chapter 7

All right, I know that some people don't like all the different POVs, but…
1) I did say there was more to this fic than Caius and Bella. This is a love story, yet it's not only about the love between mates, but also about the love of a parent, the love for your sibling, best friend, country (vampire race in this case).
2) I'm actually not doing the "Love conquers all." Not exactly. I'm trying to do it a different way. I wanted to start showing that some things—the nature of people, circumstances, principles—do overshadow or come before love, though they do not always diminish it. Like the love of someone we've lost doesn't lessen because they're gone (a loving memory–chapter title). So, I included Sarah and Demetri's POV because of what they stand for, and what they've lost because of it. Sarah is the epitome of circumstance, and Demetri is of duty. Sarah lost Jake; she encompasses not only her circumstances, but her people (Vampire and Quileute) as well—they have no control over what happened to them, what they've become, who they love—just as Demetri stands for the duty of the Volturi, of a best friend, of a man and a guard. And, Demetri…subtly lets go of Bella. But it doesn't mean they love something less, or what they stand for is less than love. I know…heavy loads of shit. But, like everyone, not just Bella, you do things because you have to, and all these characters will (or they won't, because of love).
3) I also wanted you to love and relate to these characters—not through or because of Bella. I wanted you to relate to them; I guess…be them. I didn't want there to be any doubt when it came to these two either.
4) The other POVs—I tried to show not just the effect of the event on these people, but capture the theme of time and memory while showing their personalities and past.
5) There's more, but I'm not going to list all of them and give even more away…

I hope I accomplished at least half of that in this chapter, tying in with Bella "gifting" everyone a memory. I hope I got her warring, newborn roller coaster emotions as well. So where does Bella fit into all of this? What does she stand for, if not circumstance? That's for her to find out. Go to IL&W's Forum on Twilighted (link on my profile) to ask questions or share some of your theories on Bella's gift, exactly how Sarah died, etc. It'd be fun to discuss and I'd love to hear them. You might even get some ideas or answers there.

Heads up: The next chapter will have brief glimpses of Bella's captivity. This is going to get a little darker, a little more angst-y, with a dash of fluff. Though, hopefully, the chapters aren't as loaded with themes, concepts, defensive explanations, wannabe "life speeches" (a.k.a. A/Ns.) I'd rather hear your reactions, what you got out of it or caught.

Another heads up: (Sorry.) "In Love and War" is in Project Team Beta's Poll for Best Non-Canon Pairing Fic. Don't worry, I'm not asking you to vote for me, I'm already stoked (and freaked out) to have IL&W mentioned with those fics. But, it'll be awesome if the poll gets some votes and the fics get the attention they deserve. (Link's on my profile.)

Tiny teaser: Chapter 11 — "In Not-so-loving Memory"— Sarah's story, along with… Caius's. (Oooh!) Look for teasers on IL&W's blog.

Reviews are like loving memories, they hurt or inspire; sometimes, both. Leave one if you'd like…