My After Story SNAFU

Chapter 10

The autumn wind whistled through the open car park as Yui, Yukino and myself waited for the return of our esteemed former teacher. Yui looked dubiously at me, neither of us sure about Yukino's idea, but she had been so insistent that we had to simply humour her. Yukino gazed resolutely into the distance, trying not show how much the chill wind was making her shiver and tapped her foot irritably.

The plan as Yukino described it, was to corner Hiratsuka, then basically force her to accept our help. At the moment, it would mainly involve cleaning her apartment, but Yukino gave the impression that she wanted to sort out our former teacher's life too

Yukino glared at me and asked for the tenth time, "are you absolutely positive that she is on her way?"

"That's what Hiratsuka said in her message," I said irritably. Before adding, "unless you've scared her away with that death stare."

Yukino clicked her tongue in irritation, but refused to give my insubordination a response. She glanced down at the bag by her feet, checking the inventory of cleaning products and utensils again. My pride as a former husband was unnerved by how many I'd never seen before, let alone what you used them for. Both women were dressed for cleaning, though Yui's tracksuit actually looked old, as opposed to Yukino's which looked specially purchased for the purpose. My own casual clothes were the same regardless of what I was doing, since I liked to keep my wardrobe utilitarian to save on precious lazing around time.

"Do you think it might have been an idea to bring your daughter along, Hikigaya," enquired Yukino. "Hiratsuka is fond of the girl."

"No," I replied bluntly. "Homura is with Iroha today."

While that was true, it wasn't the whole truth. Seeing Yui so distressed by her brief encounter with her own daughter, had really shaken up my little girl. Homura had been quiet and unsettled for a few days after, a fact that had not gone unnoticed by her mother. Iroha had pretty much barred Homura from seeing Yui and Yukino, since it was nearly impossible for me to explain what had happened, without giving away Yui's very personal secrets.

The atmosphere on this cold morning was very quiet, with everything still feeling rather undefined between Yukino, Yui and myself. The threat of an argument seemed to loom over all of us and it felt like one wrong word would set it all off again. From their expressions, I could tell they had both been thinking about our situation as well, but I didn't know what their plans were once we had finished dealing with Hiratsuka. I for better or worse had been deep in thought on this sorry mess and had slowly come to a solution. Though how they would take it, I didn't know and there was probably no such thing as a right time to talk about it.

Another gust of wind cut into our bones, making Yui say with a hopeful grimace, "why don't we like, go and get a coffee. Then Hiratsuka can call us when she gets here and we'll come back to sort everything out."

"Yeah, a drink would be good right now," I agreed. "It'd certainly be better than just hanging around here at least."

"No, we're staying," said Yukino firmly. "If you want a warm drink, there is a thermos of tea in my bag."

I was about to argue back when a distant sound filled me dread, the roar of a high-performance sports car engine echoed down the street and made us look up in unison. It wasn't long until the bright red Aston Martin swung into the car park, filling the air with the screech of tortured rubber and the pulse of Eurobeat. Hiratsuka slid the car around the full parking spaces and untidily stopped in the space in front of us, it's engine clinking with relief.

I saw a face peering curiously through the tinted glass on the passenger side, but it was the driver's door that opened with an unhealthy creak of metal. Hiratsuka swung dramatically out with her long black hair catching in the wind, trying to look cool as she leant on the car roof.

"So, what do you three want," asked Hiratsuka casually. "Can I not enjoy a nice holiday without you lot bothering me?"

She looked at us and our awkward glances at Yukino, indicated it was her idea. Yukino coughed formally as if preparing for a speech and took a step forward. "Hiratsuka Sensei," started Yukino. Before correcting herself to, "I mean, Miss Hiratsuka."

"Please don't put so much emphasis on the Miss," cut in Hiratsuka sourly.

"My apologies," said Yukino, the correction rattling her a little. "As I was saying, we were thinking that as a thank you for all that you've done for us, over the years. We would come over and give your apartment a tidy, along with generally helping out, a little."

Yukino gave her a smile like it was the most reasonable thing in the world, but Hiratsuka just stared at her with confused incredulity. The silence was only broken by a sudden howl of laughter, the Aston Martin rocking as Hiratsuka's passenger lost themselves to hysterics. Hiratsuka gave the car's roof an irritable thump, but it had little effect. With a flick of her hair, the former teacher looked at me with narrowed eyes, like she was preparing a question. Then with a glance at the car, changed her mind and snapped her eyes towards Yui.

"Yuigahama, explain!" barked Hiratsuka. Making Yui squeak like she had just been picked out of class.

"Well like Yukino said," replied Yui nervously. "We thought it would be nice to help you out a bit, you know. You did bring us together, advised us and stuff."

Hiratsuka looked at me with a raised eyebrow, but I merely answered with a shrug. She sighed and said, "That's just my job as a teacher, you guys don't owe me anything."

"Still while we're here, we could..." started Yukino.

"I am perfectly capable of cleaning my own place, thank you very much and I did so before I left," snapped Hiratsuka. "I appreciate the offer, but frankly go away, I have things to deal with."

I looked at Yui and motioned to leave, while she shouldered her bag with a nod of agreement. But much to my exasperation, Yukino wasn't so easily dissuaded, drawing breath to prepare another offer.

"It's more than just what you did for us as a teacher, there were," Yukino paused her eyes darting towards the car. "Things I did and said a long time ago, that I still need to make amends for."

Hiratsuka rolled her eyes and said, "Yukino you were a child. You had no idea of what you were saying or consequences of your actions, so I've never blamed you for any of it."

"Does she feel that way?" Said Yukino flatly, her eyes now fixed on the car.

Hiratsuka was about to reply, but decided to give the car roof another thump instead. Demanding that the passenger, "stop giggling like a loon and get out."

The car door swung open and a woman awkwardly climbed out, struggling a little with the low height of the Aston Martin. She straightened out her long skirt and smiled at us, trying to hide the fact she'd been laughing at us a few minutes earlier. Brushing back the long brown hair that framed her pretty face, she straightened a small pair of round spectacles and smiled. Despite the mischievous glint in her eyes, she carried the unmistakable air of a teacher, though she seemed far friendlier than Hiratsuka.

She studied us curiously, giving me an amused smile, which changed to warmth when she looked at Yukino. Walking over to give her a big hug as she said, "Oh Yukino, you've grown so much. You were so little the last time I saw you, I remember when I used to stick cat ears on your head and you'd run around meowing."

As Yukino fought against the blush growing in her cheeks, the woman added conspiratorially to us, "she absolutely was adorable." Yui giggled making Yukino blush more and the woman suddenly added, "actually wait, I think I have some in my bag."

But before her friend could act, Hiratsuka pulled her away and stated, "Don't you dare."

The woman pouted and intoned sarcastically, "Yes, Hiratsuka Sensei."

"That's better, Yamanaka Sensei," snapped Hiratsuka. "Now if you'd actually start acting like one, you'll have heard that Yukinoshita has got it into her head that she is at fault for things that happened back then."

The woman looked puzzled for a moment, then waved her hand at Yukino dismissively. "Don't be ridiculous dear, if anyone is to blame it's Shizuka and myself," said Yamanaka or whatever her name was. Before adding with a wistful sigh, "we were all young, oh so young. Not to mention reckless and irresponsible, so there's no way either us would blame you, especially when you were so cute back then."

"See Yukino," said Hiratsuka. "There's nothing for you to worry or feel guilty about, so would you now just kindly leave me in peace." Yukino looked like she was about to argue back, but Hiratsuka stated firmly, "for the last time, you are absolved. If you want to do me a favour, then do it by going away."

To punctuate her words, Hiratsuka turned dramatically, her long hair flaring out around her. Rather than looking comforted by our teacher's absolution, Yukino looked distressed and confused. Her mouth moved convulsively as she tried to voice what troubled her, but I'd had enough and prepared to pull her away.

But Yukino managed to force her question out faster, asking in a high voice, "Miss Hiratsuka, please can you answer me one last thing?"

Hiratsuka turned back with a frown and snapped, "What is it?"

"Who won?" Asked Yukino. Struggling to hold on to her dignity as everyone looked at her with puzzled expressions.

"Huh, who won what?" Said Hiratsuka.

"When Hikigaya first joined the club, you said there was a competition of sorts, whoever won would be able to order the others around," stated Yukino. "Well, you never announced who the victor was."

As cobwebs blew away from ancient memories, I got a sinking feeling and glancing at Yui's troubled expression, it seemed she thought the same. Hiratsuka's memory took a little longer, but eventually, the realisation came to her. Pondering the question, she considered the three of us and a mischievous smile formed, giving me a surge of long forgotten fear. Then Hiratsuka posed dramatically and declared, "I did!"

She let loose a peal of laughter like some villainess in an old anime series. Before pointing at us and saying, "Now, I order you three to get lost."

As Hiratsuka turned away once more and Yukino looked at her, move moving silently in utter devastation. I'd expected anger or disappointment, even though I myself felt relieved. But Yukino looked like she was on the verge of tears as she tried to comprehend the teacher's answer.

Yui moved to put an arm around her friend, but stopped when she saw Hiratsuka sigh and turn back to face us. Our former teacher walked back purposefully and gently put her hands on Yukino's shoulders.

"Shizuka, remember what we promised," cut in Yamanaka flatly, looking at Hiratsuka with a frown. "We both agreed we're going to make a clean break of this."

"I know, I know, but they're such lost lambs at times. Let me just do this and then we'll be done," said Hiratsuka to her friend. "Though don't think I won't bring this up later, when we go and deal with your lot."

Yamanaka gave a dismissive wave as she rolled her eyes, leaving Hiratsuka to turn back to Yukino. "I get the feeling this has less to do with me and more to do with things between you three," asked Hiratsuka tenderly. None of us said anything, but the guilty expressions we gave each other was enough of an answer. Hiratsuka sighed and lifted Yukino's chin to meet her eyes. "I wish I had some sage advice for you guys, but honestly I'm even worse at relationships than you three."

Yamanaka made an exaggerated cough that didn't quite cover the word, "understatement."

Hiratsuka glared at her friend. "Like you're any better," she snapped. "Unless you've got something helpful to add, be quiet."

"Whatever," said Yamanaka. "I just wanted to have a shower and relax a bit before we headed to your old school. You promised me we could check out the bands, so kindly hurry up or you'll sour my mood."

"We will don't worry, though I'm sure they'll be terrible," said Hiratsuka dismissively. Then she paused for a moment's thought and her dangerous smile returned as an idea formed in her mind. "I know, why don't you three go back to school as well," she added. "The festival is on today and maybe seeing the place again will help you get some perspective on everything that's happened."

Hiratsuka struck a dramatic pose again as a big grin spread across her face. "That's it," she cried, "go back to your roots and strip the problem of all its baggage. Only then will you find the answer and be free." Then putting her hands on her hips Hiratsuka added, "how's that for sage, teacherly advice!"

Only Yui looked thoughtful, leaving me to show my disdain and Yukino to continue with being despondent. Hiratsuka was unimpressed at our less than enthusiastic response and said, "Fine then. That's all you're getting you miserable lot."

With that Hiratsuka sauntered off towards the apartment building, Yamanaka quickly joining her, glancing back at me with an amused wave. They were almost out ear shot when I heard Yamanaka giggle and say, "Oh my god, he's totally your type."

Yamanaka narrowly missed being clouted about the head by Hiratsuka and added with a laugh, "There's the old tsundere I know and love." Hiratsuka's second clout connected, as she yelled at her friend for silence. But it only made Yamanaka laugh harder as she poked Hiratsuka and said, "I least I get to see your sweeter side."

The laughing and shouting became indistinct as they headed into the apartment building. I shook my head and turned to see Yui watching the two teachers with a curious expression.

"What is it?" I asked.

Yui blinked in surprise, blushing a little. "Nothing," she said awkwardly. "I just thought it was nice seeing Hiratsuka so happy."

The distant sound of Hiratsuka yelling something made me say, "I'm not so sure about that."

Yui gave me a brief smile, before looking at the sky and saying, "Well what shall we do now?"

But neither Yukino or I answered, she seemed lost in her own little world and I simply hadn't a clue. I knew what Yui was going to say of course, but it certainly didn't fill me with excitement and really didn't want to break my vow of never stepping foot in that place again.

"I mean we could go back and see it, you never know it might be nice," said Yui warily. Then after seeing my face snapped, "Well what would you rather do Hikki and don't say go home!"

Yui turned to her friend for support asking, "Well, what do you think Yukino?"

Yukino looked confused at the question, then said in a distant voice, "I suppose we could. The school is always inviting me to these occasions, but it would be the first time I've actually been back."

"Well that makes two against one," said Yui with an unnecessary amount of triumph. "You lose Hikki."

"Whatever," I said with a shrug. It was tempting just to head home on my own, but I still needed to talk to them and my apartment wasn't the place. Yukino had already started drifting towards her car and we all climbed inside, driving off through Chiba in silence. All our minds were elsewhere, thinking of the future and the past. So we wandered aimlessly in the present, going with the flow, wherever it took us.

A feeling of dread had been building as we approached Sobu High, as if the school would loom over us like vampire's castle in an old horror movie. All our painful memories turning it into some vast shadowy monster, that would devour us the moment we stepped through the door.

But that feeling began to dissipate as I stepped under the gaudily painted banner that welcomed us to the festival, the chatter of pupils and guests filling the air. It wasn't like the place was suddenly bright and happy, it was just well, a school. Though I'd never felt any particular sense of belonging to the collection of concrete and glass buildings, I realised it didn't even remotely feel like mine anymore. It wasn't like it looked much different, a lick of paint there, some new outbuildings there. If anything, the place seemed smaller, the long trudge from the gate now taking only a moment.

We were met by pupils and staff, who all looked disturbingly young. The few old teachers that remained, were now haggard and grey, thankfully with no memory of me or Yui. But Yukino being a star pupil and now head of a major corporation was instantly recognised. They fawned over her, no doubt trying to curry favour and sponsorship, while she gritted her teeth politely. Using all her corporate experience to appear polite, despite her fatigue and disinterest.

Eventually and with a little help from Yui, Yukino extracted herself from the crowd and we began to wander through the festival. Looking at the same standard stalls, running the same games and selling the same food that school festivals always did. I tried to think back to when I was here, tried to remember whether I had been like these cheerful faces in the crowd. For a moment felt a strange warmth in my heart as I reminisced, thinking back to those halcyon days.

Then my disgust at myself hit me and I shook the thought away before it took root. Disregarding the lie of a rose tinted past, remembering hours slinking about on my own or running around after some idiot's problems. I looked at Yui and Yukino, wondering how they saw this place, were they remembering happy times or sad ones.

Yui seemed the happier amongst the bustle, occasionally greeting some parent she knew, but never stopping to chat for more than a moment. Yukino was still distant, her expression unreadable, only smiling for the odd teacher that remembered her. No one knew me of course, sometimes I'd get an odd look, but I was sure that was because of the company that I was keeping.

I slouched against a wall while they queued for some questionable takoyaki, leaning back to avoid a gaggle of passing school girls. I flinched at just how noisy the students were and looked away to see that I wasn't the only one giving them a disgusted look. On the steps opposite, in a place where the sea breeze ruffled his hair, a boy sat sipping from a can. He glowered at the girls, his narrow eyes filled with superiority and disgust. Watching the festival alone, he took in the frivolity of the crowd and despised it.

Just seeing him there, made me want to march over and grab him by the collar. Tell the miserable wretch to dare to enjoy himself, that no one cared how high his horse was if no knew he was riding it. That if there was anyone who cared, he would only hurt them with the arrogance that fuelled his sneer. But I knew he wouldn't listen, I was an ignorant adult now, who knew nothing of the trials of adolescent life. An old fart, doomed to watch another idiot make the same mistakes over and over.

As I sighed in despair, Yui appeared at my shoulder and said, "Have you been hiding another kid from us, Hikki?"

But Yui's chuckle died on her lips as the group of girls moved off, one holding back to give the boy a shy wave. He didn't seem to care her gesture and merely scowled at the girl, taking it as a signal to slink away in the opposite direction.

"It seems there must always be a Hachiman at Sobu High," commented Yukino. Giving me an amused smile, before watching the boy toss his can in the trash and vanish around the corner.

I frowned at her use of my name and asked, "what about a Yukino, has she always been here too?"

"A good question," said Yukino wistfully. Looking instinctively in the direction of the club rooms.

As we joined her, Yui asked warily, "shall we go and take a look?"

"I suppose we ought to," I said with a shrug. My own curiosity starting to gain ground against my sour disposition.

"It would be a shame not to see the place while we're here," added Yukino.

This seemed to be closest we'd get to a unanimous decision, so without any further comment, we walked together into the school. Again, the place felt smaller, as it didn't seem to take any time to reach the club room, with only the stairs seeming steeper. Now we stood outside the door waiting for one of us pluck up the courage to open it.

Yui looked at the sign above the door curiously, probably looking for the stickers she had left there, but they were long gone. She gave us a philosophical shrug and watched as Yukino moved to slide the door open.

"Oh my God Yukino," said Yui scandalised. Putting a hand out to stop her friend as she added, "You've got to knock first, how rude can you be."

Yukino looked confused as she slowly raised her hand and lightly tapped the door with her small knuckles. All while Yui struggled to contain her laughter as a smile tweaked my cheeks, watching until Yukino realised she was being messed with.

She narrowed her eyes at us as we both started to snigger. "Maybe I should just turn us around and drag you both back to elementary school to learn some real manners," Yukino said stiffly. Pulling the door open with her nose in the air and briskly entering our former club room.

I think we all blinked, looking about in confusion as we tried to comprehend what we saw. I leant back into the corridor to check the doors, making sure we had the right room. But there was no doubt about it, this had been the home of the Service Club, but it wasn't anymore.

I'm not sure what I'd been expecting really; photos featuring generations of loyal Service Club members or the perfectly preserved remnants of our passing. But there was nothing, instead what looked like the Literature Club had made a mess preparing for the festival. The huge stack of furniture was gone, replaced by a long bookcase and the plain walls had been covered in posters featuring various inspirational literary quotes.

Yui ambled about, looking at the junk on the tables, while Yukino made a more thorough inspection of the room. She studied the spines of the books, running her finger through the dust on the window sill and carefully examined the faded writing on the board. Once she was done, Yukino took to staring at the trees outside, perhaps trying to gauge how much they had grown.

"Are you okay Yukino," asked Yui tentatively.

Yukino sighed and said, "I know it's silly, but part of me believed there would at least be some trace of our time here."

Yui gave the room another quick search before seeing something in the corner, looking at it apprehensively before finally picking it up. "You don't suppose this is," she started with a guilty pause. "Hikki's old chair?"

I looked down and grimaced as I saw the chair's bent legs. But Yukino only gave it a quick glance and shook her head. Stating with the detached air of a great detective, "No Yui. You struck Hikigaya with the back legs, but that chair has sustained damage to the front, ergo it is not his chair. Not to mention that I don't believe you are strong enough, nor Hikigaya dense enough, to cause that degree of damage."

"Oh yeah," said Yui sheepishly as she looked at the chair again. She tried and failed to surreptitiously put the chair back, her cheeks going red as she said awkwardly, "sorry Hikki."

Feeling the discomfort of her embarrassment, I said with a dismissive wave, "Don't worry I deserved it."

"But did you Hikigaya," asked Yukino with sudden sharpness. But after seeing Yui stiffen she added, "we've blamed you for so much over the years, but did you really deserve it?"

Yukino sat down in a seat that roughly approximated her old one and stared out the window miserably. Yui sat next to her and gently stroked her arm, but after no response settled with looking glumly down. I automatically moved to sit in my old home at the far end of the table but was stopped by a loud cough.

"I think after all we've been through, you could at least sit with us," said Yukino formally.

"Yeah, it always made things so awkward with you sitting all the way up there," added Yui with a nod.

Clumsily I moved a chair to sit opposite them and sat looking at the pair, expecting them to say something else. But instead, Yukino reached to her bag and pulled out a thermos of tea along with some plastic cups, delicately pouring us each a drink.

"Sorry, if I'd known we were coming here, I would have brought our old cups," said Yukino. "Then at least there would have been something of ours here, but it really is all gone."

"Is that such a bad thing?" said Yui hesitantly.

But Yukino didn't answer, returning to staring out the window with a grim expression. Yui looked down at her tea and sipped it, watching the steam rise slowly from the cup. Feeling uncomfortable just looking at them, I tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling that was familiar, yet at the same time unfamiliar. All three of us lost in thought, no doubt thinking about the last time we had been in this room.

The start of my third year at Sobu High had been a strange time for me, with this vague feeling of listlessness casting a grey fog over my mind. Maybe it had been the start of exam stress or the knowledge that my school days would soon be over. But it felt like the story of my life had just inexplicably stopped and I had been left stumbling around, searching for a conclusion.

The issues between the three of us still remained, but they started getting pushed aside as revision and study came to the fore. At least I pretended that was the case as I waited for some spark of brilliance to tell me how to deal with the situation and leave everyone happy. But such inspiration didn't come until much later when all I had to think about, were the things I should have done.

While I was busy dodging the subject, something far more sinister began to spread through the corridors of the school. Rumours, gossip, mere idle jokes that soon became darker and more spiteful. I hadn't treated them seriously, presuming they would soon go away as another target took precedence. Even now, I wish I could have acted when it was just a minor problem and maybe then this mess would never have happened.

I'd never thought my presence within the school had been of any great note, but it seems that it had. Specifically, they had noticed me hanging out with some of the best-looking girls in the school and had wondered how such a thing was possible for the likes of me. It appeared that our pseudo dates had not gone unnoticed and during our spring break skiing trip, my close contact with them had been duly noted.

Whispers that I was dating one of them or playing both Yukino and Yui at the same time, began to spread. Then Iroha was added to the mix and before I knew it, practically every girl I had ever talked to was thrown into the constantly churning rumour mill. Even to the point where the likes of Totsuka and Hiratsuka were caught up in the sorry mess.

To the other pupils the saga of Hikigaya Hachiman the 'Harem King' was just a big joke, a good laugh to break up the mundanity of the school day. But to Yukino, Yui and myself it cut deep into our already frayed friendship, antagonising our inner doubts. Probably if we had banded together and come up with a battle plan, we could have sorted things out, but it became hard just to look them in the face.

So, I started making excuses and finding ways to avoid the problem, being a coward when I needed to be decisive. This mostly involved hanging out more with Iroha and the student council, losing myself in their daily problems. Gradually I stopped showing up to the club room, believing that if I wasn't around then at least there was a chance that Yukino and Yui could save their friendship. I would take any reasoning possible to convince myself that I was doing the right thing by them, even when I knew I wasn't.

When Iroha asked me out, I was so surprised that it was impossible for me to say no, mainly because I kept expecting it to be a joke or a dream. I decided to formally tell Yui and Yukino about my relationship rather than let them just hear about it. They took the news with dignity and wished us the best. Even though they were understanding when I explained that I would be spending most of my time with the student council, I should've seen how much that statement stung them.

In my foolishness, I believed that going out with Iroha would be the end of it, that the school would move on and we could go back to normal. I hoped that our friendship might mend itself now that the deeper problem had been buried, but I should have known better. Once the school knew about me and Iroha, the whispers took a nastier, more personal tone. As students with grudges against Yukino and Yui, envious of their looks, talent or popularity, began to attack.

Cruel words about how they had been cast aside by me for Iroha, that cut deep into already open wounds. Accusations of all kinds of promiscuity ranging from me sleeping with all of them, to Yui and Yukino being a couple with me as a cover story. That I had only gone out with Iroha to avoid choosing between the two, which was a chord that had dogged our relationship from beginning to end. Even now I can't deny there may have been some truth in that, but for Iroha, it cut like a knife into her own self-doubt and turned into a monster whenever the club was mentioned.

The mutterings of the school only became increasingly personal, to the point where Iroha was convinced that they were being spread by Yui and Yukino themselves. At first, I refused to believe it, but without evidence, it was difficult to give deny the possibility. If there was a singular source I never found it, but that dark seed of doubt about the two people I had considered close friends, rapidly grew into a monster inside me.

It seemed that similar thoughts had started to germinate in Yukino and Yui too, as what had once been friendly greetings in the corridor, turned into dark curses. I became angrier and angrier at them, mentally accusing them of betrayal and petty jealousy. My bitter, resentful side that had consumed me at the start of high school returned, even more wretched than before. Soon public and vicious arguments between us became a regular occurrence, all of which I blamed on them rather than daring to look in a mirror.

After another meeting between the school council and the various student bodies had been completely derailed. Iroha had been livid, convinced that Yukino and Yui had been working behind the scenes to undermine her authority. With Iroha's insistence that I do something about it, I decided it was time to put an end to it all.

The Service Club died on a wet Thursday just before our final exams started, the poor weather only amplifying my sour mood. I was angry at everything by then, the school, the club and though I wouldn't have admitted it at the time, myself. Somewhere deep in the coiled mass of rage inside me, I knew this was all my fault. But I was far too lost to anger to admit it, let alone try and do something about it. Instead, I demanded that we meet in the club room, where I would have them explain themselves and apologise for the lies that I believed they had been spreading.

I had expected Yui and Yukino to be clustered together, like witches plotting some foul deed. But they were stood at opposite sides of the room, Yui leaning on the table while Yukino was deep in thought by the window. My distorted mind saw this as part of some scheme against me, but I should have seen it as a sign of how badly fractured their friendship was.

Yui looked like hell and looking back it was clear that she'd been hit hardest by the rumours. Her high profile as a friend of Yumiko, coupled with her kind nature, had made her an easy target for the most savage of whispers. Yukino and myself were used to it to some degree, but Yui wasn't, taking every ill favoured comment deeply to heart. Since the year had begun, her emotional state had become progressively worse and she started lashing out at the people around her. Soon she had a batch of nicknames, some of which I'm ashamed to say came from my own lips. Names that called her crazy, psycho and the most common, Yui the Yandere.

But I was blind to any sympathy for her, all I saw was guilt and only heard her denials as proof. When I told them it was over, that I was leaving the club and their friendship, Yui begged me to reconsider. Desperately clinging to the idea that we could fix this somehow, a tiny sliver of hope that the club could be saved. Reminding me of the good times we'd spent together and how important the club had been to the three of us, what I myself had done for it.

But I denied it, claiming the club had just been somewhere to doss around, a task forced upon me by our teacher and nothing more. I feel sick even now remembering my cruel words, twisting like a knife in Yui's gut.

"You're a liar, Hikki," Yui had screamed. "The darkest, most filthy of liars."

Over and over Yui screamed 'liar,' until her voice was hoarse with despair. But I kept on haughtily refuting her, even when she started desperately calling to Yukino for aid. But Yukino just stood there in complete silence, barely registering us as she stared into nothing with vacant eyes.

With a final scream of anguish, Yui had swung my old chair with all her strength, smashing it against my side. Coming at me unexpectedly, the blow sent me reeling, pain surging up my arm. But before I had recovered, Yui was gone and by the time I got to the door she was already a long way down the hall. Though not out of range of the obscenities I yelled after her, as I winced through the pain. Before I stormed off, I took one final look back into the club room. There Yukino still stood with the same empty expression, frozen like an ice queen entombed for all eternity.

That was the last time I'd been in this room before today and I believe the final time for Yui as well. She had run from the school, only briefly appearing for her exams and apparently flunking most of them. Yui never attended graduation or any other school occasions, but at the time I didn't give a shit. Many people had tried to get me to go and talk to her, but I had refused. Earning me even more scorn, along with a black eye from Hiratsuka after I had laughed at our teacher's attempts at making peace.

The worst part was I knew that a tiny fragment of me did want to talk to Yui, to make what I thought would be a futile attempt to patch things up. But in those days, I hated that part of me, thinking it was weak and pathetic. That my old belief in Yui's 'nice girl' façade had been well founded and masked a crazy lunatic, just to justify my own actions. This inner turmoil only made me worse, bitter and savage, leaving a scar that never truly healed.

Bringing myself back to present, I watched as Yui slowly traced some graffiti on the desk with her fingernail. She must have noticed my gaze, looking up and giving me a small smile.

I took a deep breath and bowed until my forehead brushed the table top. "I'm sorry," I said. "You were right that day, I was lying, about the club and about us."

I felt Yui's hand gently touch mine and I looked at her. "I know Hikki," she said, her smile warming a little. "It wasn't like you were the only one, I said some horrible things to both of you. I'm glad you never heard the things I called Yukino just before you came in, they make me sick just to think about them. By the time you arrived I was so angry that your lie was all I could see, when I really should have been thinking about why you were lying."

"To be honest, I'm not sure why I was lying either," I said forlornly.

"I think you just wanted it to be over," said Yukino. "For the pain to end and maybe right then, it was best that it did."

"I could have done it in a thousand better ways though," I said.

"We all could," said Yukino. "At least you and Yui argued about it, all I did was stand there like an idiot, letting everything crumble around me." She paused to calm her rising voice and refilled our cups with tea. "Even when I thought I had found the words," Yukino added softly. "They all turned to foolish nonsense in my mouth."

Yukino sighed sadly and I gave her grim look as I remembered the last time I had spoken to her at school.

It had been the day of our graduation and I decided to slip out early, having no desire to join my fellow pupils as they waved dramatically tearful goodbyes to each other. I was so focused on avoiding Hiratsuka and her fists, that I almost walked into Yukino as she waited anxiously near the gate. I tried to stroll past her, but when she called my name my legs automatically locked up. So many times since then, I've wished I'd been able to keep walking, silence being better than what happened next.

In the cold light, she looked like a wraith, her long hair whipping around her to shroud her face. Thin even by her standards, she struggled to meet my gaze with eyes shadowed by dark circles. But the black mass in my chest that served as my heart, felt nothing as I glared at her irritably. I was about to storm away when she finally asked if I'd seen Yui. I savagely said I hadn't and that I was glad, my tone making Yukino recoil back.

Yukino started rambling about her Yui, about me and about the club. Her voice so quiet and disjointed that it was bordering on gibberish, that I barely understood let alone cared about. Seeing Yukino so vulnerable should have made me feel sympathy, but my dark mood saw it as weak and disgusting. A real human being would have seen someone as broken as Yukino and offered them aid in their darkest moments.

Instead, I mocked her, openly stating her flaws and laughing at her insecurities. My own wretchedness forcing all my guilt on to Yukino's small shoulders, just so I could feel better about the mess I was in. A constant stream of bile spilling forth from the darkness inside of me, enjoying hammering her down and feeling triumphant in some horrible way.

"Is that genuine, Hikigaya?" Yukino had stammered.

At first, she quailed under my verbal assault, but with new found resolve Yukino demanded to know if the filth I'd just spouted was how I really felt or just being said in anger. I was cruel enough to say it was how I felt, that I'd never said anything truer in my life.

But that wasn't enough for Yukino, she started demanding to know what I really meant by the word, genuine. That if my hatred was genuine, then what did mean for her feelings, were they real or not. She tried to articulate the emotions about me and Yui, that rushed around inside of her like a maelstrom. Impossible to understand and even harder to express.

Yukino's confused statements began to loop in on themselves, constantly repeating questions about what was real, what was genuine. Like a mania, she had become obsessed with the concept and trying to understand it, desperate for some spark of comprehension. Not that really cared by that point, so I spitefully let Yukino know that if she didn't understand what was genuine by now, she never would. The truth of the matter was that I had no idea what was real either, but like hell was I going to let Yukino know that.

It wasn't until much later, when that moment ran through my mind for the thousandth time. That I finally realised what Yukino had been trying to express and understand, whether she realised it or not. Those were her feelings for me, her conflicting emotions about Yui and why my response had been to savagely rip her heart out.

I had laughed at Yukino's feelings when she was at her most vulnerable and somehow managed to stride away from the scene with pride. Satisfied that I would never see them or this school again, convinced that my life would be magically wiped clean as soon as I left those gates.

But of course, it hadn't, those days haunted me and probably always will. My inner demons tormenting me by replaying my darkest moments in my dreams and slowly slipping my feelings towards remorse. Though the events had brought me and Iroha closer, they forever cast a shadow over our relationship. To be honest it was a miracle that our marriage lasted as long as it did and probably owed more to her perseverance than mine. I'd loved her for putting up with my shit, but Iroha hadn't been able to do it forever.

Now she was gone, but they had returned and we were back where it all started. Only now our faces were all marked by the scars of those times and the ones that had followed. Yukino may see her last words to me as nonsense, but it wasn't like I wasn't spouting nonsense myself.

"It was wrong of me," I said awkwardly. "To ask you, both of you for something real. When I was incapable of being truthful with you and with myself for that matter. I don't think I know what genuine would look like even if you placed it in front of me and frankly I still don't."

Yukino looked at me thoughtfully, before saying, "I guess I should have known that and I don't know why I became so fixated on it. I just felt if understood it, then suddenly everything would click together and I could solve everything. Our troubles, my family issues, my own problems, everything."

"I don't think there will ever be some magical phrase that will solve all our problems," I said. "No matter how hard we search."

"I see that now," said Yukino. "But back then I was convinced it was there, just out of my reach and it was maddening."

The small laugh Yukino gave showed how literal that had been for her. With a grim expression I said, "I'm sorry that well, I was a complete and utter arsehole. You reached out to me for help and I threw it back in your face when you most needed a friend."

"I won't deny what you were that day, so don't expect me to refute it," said Yukino with a slight smile. "But I should have handled that day so much better, so maybe I will accept some of that blame."

"Don't think I won't accept some that," said Yui. "I dithered so much about going to graduation, if I'd actually had the guts to go, maybe I could have saved something."

"Or you could have made everything even worse," I said with a shrug. "It's impossible to say."

"I know, but that doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it," said Yui.

I think we all feel that regret," said Yukino. "For all the good it does for us."

The blame game goes two ways, either you're constantly trying to cast it all on someone else or attempting to absorb it all. But if you're all doing that it just ends up going in a circle, with no progression, only a slow descent. I could feel the black hole of our past starting to pull us in again and it had to be stopped before we were all dragged under.

"Not that it I'm dismissing what happened, but I think we need to draw a line," I suggested somewhat forcibly. "We are all ashamed of what happened and we're all wanting to take the blame, regardless of who deserved it. But if we don't put those days behind us, we'll never be able to move on and sort out our other problems.

There was a pause and I wondered if I had offended them. But then Yui glanced at Yukino and said, "There are still things we need to talk about though."

"I know, but..." I started. Only to stop myself so I could marshal my thoughts and prevent myself from saying anything else stupid.

It was a decision that had been rolling around in my mind for what felt like forever. It was something I should have decided a long time ago, but the truth was I had been either too stupid to see the problem or too scared to face it. Convincing myself that I was delusional, mistaken or that it would go away if I buried my head in the sand.

You think it would be easy, a simple binary choice, one or the other. I'm sure if I was watching from afar, I'd be screaming, 'pick her she's the best' or 'no, she's far better.' I could think about it with my monstrous logic, coldly balancing pros and cons, but I still wouldn't come up with an answer. My heart was a mess and I had long ago given up trusting it on matters this important, not that it stayed in one place for long.

But for me that didn't even feel like the main issue, the real issue was the friendship between Yukino and Yui. As I sat thinking they whispered to each other, leaning close as they conversed in short phrases and incomprehensible female body language. It seemed to me that they need each other far more than they needed me and that was what informed this decision the most.

I was going to refuse both of them.

It sounded so straightforward and simple, but it wouldn't be. I just had to hope that they would understand, that I could explain my reasoning in a way that would maintain our friendship. I knew there was a high chance of screwing up again, but maybe we had enough battle scars to not let emotions run away from us.

I wondered if we took this course, did it mean that we were being truly genuine with each other, probably not. It had seemed so important back then, but if it took a lie to maintain this friendship, then so be it. We would all be holding something back, but I think we all knew that and if we accepted it, everything would be okay. To me, our friendship felt more important than truth, which seemed more like a tarnished ideal these days anyway.

But still I was asking them to give up something major and it I was under no illusion that this would be easy for them. I may not understand why they both felt this way about me, because I certainly didn't deserve it. So I know worried at how cold and selfish my request sounded in my head, but it was one I had to make, I just had to hope they would understand.

I closed my eyes for a moment trying to formulate my feelings into words, attempting to...

"Hikki," said Yui in a soft, sing song voice that only just caught my attention.

"Hikigaya!" Snapped Yukino sharply. Before adding with a groan, "why do you always wander off into your own head when we want to discuss anything important?"

I looked at the pair them as they straightened up and smiled like newsreaders. Though they tried to look pleasant, the sudden formality made me feel slightly nervous and made me straighten up myself.

"Hikigaya," said Yukino. "After much discussion, Miss Yuigahama and myself have decided. That you are far too disreputable a man for us ever..."

Yukino was cut off by a whack to her shoulder. "Come on, Yukino," said Yui stifling her giggles. "You can say it properly."

Yukino blushed and it took a few attempts to marshal her words. Before deciding to instead whisper to Yui, "are you absolutely sure. I assure you that if you want to, I don't mind..."

"No, Yukino it's fine," Yui replied quietly. "As long as you're okay, you know if you really want to then I'll step back."

"No," said Yukino. "We agreed on this and that it is for the best."

Yukino tentatively put her hand on Yui's and then firmly squeezed it with a determined smile. She tried to make look more dignified, but her earlier cool was lost and Yukino's voice shook as tried to find her words.

"We have decided, Hikigaya," said Yukino. "That neither one of us will accept any romantic proposals from you, nor will we attempt to..."

Yukino's nerve went and she started stumbling over her words again.

So Yui took over with, "Yukino promises not to jump you."

"Yui!" Screeched Yukino, clouting her friend. "I would never 'jump him' regardless of the circumstances." She paused for a moment before adding in quiet indignation, "and neither can you."

"Don't worry I won't," Yui said with a sigh. Then looking at me she added, "What we're trying to say Hikki, is that for the sake of the three of us. It's best we put aside any romantic ideas, are you okay with that?"

The nervous pause grew as I realised they were expecting an answer right away. Yui was already starting to repeat herself when I let out an "okay," punctuated with a long sigh. But they still just looked at me expectantly, clearly expecting a more affirmative response. So, I added, "I was about to say pretty much the same thing."

With those simple words, I felt all the tension I'd built up, leak from my body. Slowly slouching into the chair like I'd melted and giving me a real craving for some coffee.

I felt Yui eyeing me critically as she said, "you had a big speech planned, didn't you?"

My irritated expression gave them their answer and they both sat up again. Their faces etched with amusement as they looked at me like excited children at story time.

"Come on then Hikigaya, let's hear it," said Yukino, lacing her fingers together.

I gave them a sour look and waved a hand dismissively as I said. "Nah, I'd only end up making a complete mess of it and upsetting you both."

This made Yukino and Yui both nod in unison as they giggled lightly. "Yes, that's very true," said Yukino. "Though it almost feels like our visit here is incomplete without one of your ill-considered speeches."

"It's for the best I think," said Yui. "He can be such a…"

Yui broke off as she considered her insult, leaving Yukino to add, "…a Hachiman?"

"Yes, that's it," agreed Yui.

Then they both sighed and looked at me with a hint of a despair as they said together, "such a Hachiman."

"Hey, don't use my name in vain," I snapped.

Yukino scoffed, "I always knew you were full of yourself Hikigaya, but I never thought you'd take it to the level of a god."

"Me, full of myself," I said. "That is so rich coming from you."

Yukino and I glared at each other, but the silence was filled by Yui giggling. "Stop it, guys please," Yui cried as she started to shift into full blown laughter. "You two are going to kill me with nostalgia."

"How do you kill someone with nostalgia?" I commented at the ridiculousness of the statement.

"I frankly don't understand how either," said Yukino. "But I'm sure somehow, you could manage it."

"Yui was telling you to stop too," I pointed out. "So maybe your nostalgia producing abilities are far more lethal than mine."

"Stop making up trivial competitions to make yourself feel better," stated Yukino.

"I didn't make it up, Yui did," I said waving a hand at the culprit.

But Yui didn't respond, her face buried in her crossed arms and making stupid snorts of laughter. It took her a while to get her breath back and eventually she sat up, tears running down her cheeks.

"I don't see what's so funny," I snapped, glaring at her.

But that just seemed to set Yui off again and Yukino said to me, "I know it's hard for you, but kindly stop making weird faces before our friend passes out."

"I'm so sorry," said Yui between gasps. "I've just been on edge all day and there is something about hearing you two bickering like old times again just sets me off."

"Look just turn around or something Hikigaya, your face is clearly upsetting her," Yukino said, pulling Yui close as she glared at me reproachfully. Yui started to calm as Yukino stroked her hair and added, "there, there, I've made the bad man stop."

I didn't turn around and was settled to just narrowing my eyes at the ridiculous pair in front of me. Yui was hiccupping slightly as they leant against each other with their eyes closed and the atmosphere of the room continued to relax. I felt my own mood lighten as I watched their hands find each other and squeeze together.

This is what I wanted, not just my friendship with Yui or with Yukino, but their friendship with each other. Their bond was the same, if not stronger than it was with me. One that I felt like I needed to protect, even if it came at a cost to myself. A smile crested my lips as I watched their fingers curling around each other, each digit tenderly adjusting to fit. It just felt so nice to watch this closeness between two people and brought a warmth even to my rotten heart.

Something whistled past my ear.

I looked up startled and straight into Yui's livid face. "Oh my god Hikki," she cried, her arm still raised from flinging the plastic cup. "We were having a nice moment and you have to ruin it all with that dirty, depraved mind of yours!"

"What, I never said I thing?" I proclaimed.

"No, but that lurid smile said it all," answered Yui, her face almost as pink as her hair.

"I'm amazed it still surprises you," said Yukino, shaking her head.

"Maybe we should have stuck with your original idea of calling him too disreputable," said Yui sulkily.

"I had a whole lexicon of words ready, but you were the one that wanted to be nice to him," said Yukino. "Though thinking about it now, we were right earlier and his family has been his entire life. The only word to describe him is simply…"

"Hachiman," they said together and sighed.

"Will you two stop that," I snapped. "Because otherwise, I'm just going to throw this agreement and everything else in the trash.

There was a pause as the atmosphere became more formal. "Sorry Hikki, it's like all this is much easier to deal with if we think…" started Yui.

"…We remind ourselves of your more, negative aspects," finished Yukino.

"Oh thanks," I said. "For your information, I was only thinking about how nice it was to see you two being such close friends again."

They blushed simultaneously and looked awkwardly away. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions," said Yui. "I should know by now that you're not always thinking something perverted when you smile like that."

"Well it's an easy mistake to make, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it," said Yukino.

"I see I'm not getting an apology from you," I said.

"Fine, I'm sorry," said Yukino with an overly dramatic bow.

"Whatever," I said dismissively. "Look, is there anything else you want to discuss or shall we leave this pit of nostalgia, because I could do with something to eat and drink."

"Hikki's stomach calls it seems," said Yui. But it was her own that answered and she blushed, crossing her arms over herself.

Yukino smiled and said, "actually, I did bring something. I wasn't sure if Hiratsuka would have anything other than cup ramen in her cupboards, so I made some lunches for us."

"Hey, don't dismiss cup ramen," I stated. "Japan would be lost without it."

Yukino scoffed as she reached into her bag, that I'm sure was far bigger inside than the exterior suggested. Rummaged for a while and pulled out a series of carefully wrapped bento boxes, placing them neatly on the table. Yui and I waited with a little trepidation as Yukino studied the boxes for a moment, then pushed one towards each of us.

"Don't worry they're the same," she said with a hint of nervousness and while that was technically correct in terms of the morsels on offer, each had a different design. Yui's in the likeness of her old dog Sable and mine like my old cat Kamakura, while Yukino's was like Pan-San. Yukino opened the fourth box, revealing a car design and added," I did this one for Hiratsuka, but you two might as well have it. Sorry, I was so nervous last night, I went a little overboard on them."

Yukino took a box of cookies a placed them on the table between us, carefully positioning it equidistant from me and Yui. We both watched Yukino without comment as we ate, smiling in thanks for the food. Trying to pretend the situation was a hundred percent normal.

I was under no illusion that everything was going to be all sunshine and roses now. That this agreement meant that the complex web of emotions between us, suddenly didn't exist. Whether the idea would stand forever or soon crumble back into dust, was something only time would tell. I think they both knew this and I had no doubt there would be times where this truce would be stretched to breaking point. But it was worth trying, I had decided that I wanted to put all my will into making it work.

If it failed, it failed, but it wouldn't be for want of trying. I had presumed too much in the past and left it to some imagine fate to pick the right course. Granted neither of us had any idea what the future held, but there was comfort in the idea that Yukino and Yui would be there to drag me out of the mud.

Of course, the situation could drastically change at any time and we'd have to reassess everything. The most obvious being that one or both of them could meet other guys. Much better guys, who would finally give them the love and life they deserved. Even if the idea gave me a pang of jealousy, it was a selfish feeling that I had no right to inflict on them.

It might take some time until we all found the equilibrium of this mess, finding our places to balance out the strange three-armed seesaw. I would have to be especially careful with how I interacted with them until things were settled. To think all our problems were now all over, just because we had made a decision, was foolhardy.

But at least we had a place to start from, a platform from where we could look to the future. I guess this mood was in the room because as she finished her lunch, Yukino tidied it away and prepared to speak. With a polite cough, she said, "I have something to ask of you. I suppose it would be appropriate since we're here, to call it a request."

She smiled at the little inside joke and Yui said gently, "go on Yukino," while I nodded.

Yukino cleared her throat again and continued, "recently I've been considering where I want to go next in my life. I've spent so much time in the shadow of my family, that now I am beginning to feel free of them, I don't know what to do with myself. Like I want to reinvent myself in some way, to find the me that I want to be, rather than what anyone else wants."

Yukino looked down at her hands as her voice cracked a little. "I'm ashamed to have to ask you, but I need your help in this. I've tried, so many times in the past, but something always goes wrong. Whether it be something going amiss, my sister messing with me or that I simply get scared and run away."

She looked at me sadly and though I hadn't thought it, Yukino said, "I know what you're going to say Hikigaya and you're still right. It's pathetic that I run a massive construction company, but don't even know who I am. I'm not asking you to tell me who to be, that would be the opposite of what I need. But I may need well, a kick in the backside if I start to flag or go astray."

"I'm not sure about all that, but kicks in the butt I can do," I said casually.

Yukino sighed and shook her head. "I guess I shouldn't ask for more, so thank you Hikigaya."

I gave Yukino a relaxed salute, but Yui looked less than impressed. "Why does he get priority," she said. "I'm perfectly capable of kicking your bum too."

"Well, I have got bigger feet for a start," I pointed out. "Along with experience in giving corrective punts to Komachi."

"Still I don't see why it should be just you that gets to do it Hikki," said Yui.

"I never said you couldn't," I said. "Feel free to give her a..."

"What are you two arguing about?" Cried Yukino in exasperation.

Yui giggled and said, "Don't worry we'll only do it if you really deserve it." Punctuating her point by poking Yukino under the table, causing the embattled woman to jump up with a yelp.

"I am trying to have a serious discussion about my future and well, our future," Yukino stammered. "But you two just want to fool around and joke about my bottom."

Seeing the hurt expression on Yukino's face, Yui's smile faded. "I'm sorry Yukino," she said guiltily. "I think I've kind of gone a bit silly, now that everything's relaxed a bit."

Yukino smiled and squeezed Yui's shoulder. "It's okay," said Yukino. "I think I'm still feeling a little on edge, so sorry for jumping down your throat."

"You're right to be thinking about the future though," said Yui in a more serious tone. "I've been putting a lot of thought into where I want to be too." She glared at me and added, "don't you dare scoff, Hikki!"

"I wasn't going to say anything," I proclaimed. But Yui still narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously.

"Anyway," said Yui, taking a moment to collect herself. "I think I want to make a new start with myself, that I've let the past dominate too much of who I am. I'd convinced myself I was over my daughter, but I really wasn't."

Yui paused for a moment while Yukino looked at her with concern. "But I need to," said Yui. "I feel like I've already wasted so many years just drifting, waiting at the window for my purpose to come to me. I get what you mean Yukino, I want to find a new direction for my life. Talking with you guys, sorting things out, heck even just sitting here again. It's helped me come to terms with what I've done, but also made me want to do something more."

"Though it's still a scary prospect," Yui continued. "So, I guess I'm going to selfish too and ask you to two to keep me on the right track. I'm so petrified of messing things up again, that I can like, lock up, so I'm going to need your help keeping going, sorry."

Yui looked down at the desk in shame, but Yukino put a hand on her arm to make her look up. "Don't worry," Hikigaya and I will keep an eye on you, though I'm sure you won't need it."

"Yui squeezed her friend's hand and smiled as she said, "thank you. I know I didn't need to ask, but still, it feels good to hear it."

"Just don't hide anywhere I can't find you and let me know when something is wrong," I said. "I'm not a psychic, I won't know if you don't tell me."

"Indeed Hikigaya," said Yukino. "Even if such abilities did exist, you would be the worst in the country, if not the world."

"I wouldn't say they don't exist Yukino," said Yui. Who then began rubbing her temples as she continued, "for example, you're thinking, Hikki is an idiot."

"When isn't she thinking that," I snapped, frowning at Yui's mischievous grin.

"I was about to ask," said Yukino. "Whether you wanted to add anything to our discussion or are perfectly happy as you are, Hikigaya?"

"Don't get him started on about how wonderful he is," said Yui. "I don't think my eyes can cope with the rolling."

"Well if you two are so enlightened why don't you tell me," I said.

"Well for starters," said Yukino. "I would frankly be rather disappointed in you if you spent the rest of your days as some peon in my office. Not that I'm not grateful for the work you've done, but I know you are capable of being much greater than that. You still have a lot of potential, which sadly you seem to squander in pursuit of an easy life and it pains me to see you waste it."

Yui was nodding as Yukino looked at me imploringly. But honestly, I had no better idea of what I wanted to do with my life now than I had when I left school. If anything, I had more options then, because I still entertained the notion of being a house husband, which had worked out so well for me. I sole long term goal in life these days was making sure Homura grew up happy and I wasn't sure how successful I'd been at that. I hadn't even thought about another purpose in life in a very long time, to the point where I couldn't remember if I'd ever had one.

I took a deep breath and said, "you're right. But I don't have a clue if there's anything I can do these days without fucking it up."

"You won't, Hikki," said Yui. "I've seen what you're capable of if you put your mind to it."

"That doesn't mean I'm not a screw-up," I said. "As everyone and their mom likes to remind me on a daily basis, especially you two."

I had meant it as an admission rather than a jab, but Yui and Yukino gave each other troubled looks, before looking away from me. "Well, that's not going to happen anymore," said Yui. "You've said you'll support us and we will do the same."

"I can't promise never to scold your mistakes, Hikigaya," said Yukino. "But I will make sure they are deserved first."

"Actually, it would probably really weird me out," I said. "If the pair of you suddenly started being nice to me all the time."

They chuckled and Yui said, "Yeah it would take some getting used to. Especially the sight of you and Yukino not bickering all the time."

"Stop implying we're like an old marr…," started Yukino, before suddenly cutting herself off. "Anyway, he's more like an errant child that needs to be corrected, actually you both are."

"No, you and Hikki are more like brothers and sisters who are constantly fighting," said Yui. Before adding with a sigh, "with me as the haggard mom, caught in the middle."

"Hardly," I said with a mocking laugh. "You two are like delinquent daughters and far more trouble than Homura will ever be. Though increasingly I beginning to think you're like two bothersome old grandmothers."

With a laugh, Yui said, "so basically the conclusion we've come to today, is that we're like some horribly dysfunctional family?"

"I'm not so sure about that," said Yukino. "The pair of you are surprisingly, far more preferable to my actual dysfunctional family, which is truly a sad state of affairs. But maybe seeing ourselves as a family, no matter how strange is the best way to look at our situation. I certainly feel safer in the knowledge that you are looking out for me and more positive about keeping check of your prospects."

"I know what you mean," said Yui. "This is the first time I felt positive about my future in ages and I think I can finally start to move forward with my head held high."

Despite the optimistic vibe in the room, I could feel storms of cynicism and doubt rumbling inside me, eternally trying to put a stranglehold on such happy thoughts. I forced the bitter taste down, not wanting to infect them with my poison, regardless of whether it had any validity. We were making it sound easy, but it wouldn't be and I think they knew that. But now was the time for brave faces, smiling together at the sunrise on a new chapter in our lives.

"Sure," I said. "Let's try and figure out this whole 'being an adult' thing together."

Yukino laughed and looked like she was about to say a snarky comment, but stopped herself. "Being an adult," she said instead. "It's strange that if I was to quantify all the experiences and qualities that make someone an adult, you're the one that comes out on top, Hikigaya."

"Well, I certainly don't feel like one," I said with a shrug.

I guess I'd always assumed there was some magic moment where suddenly bam, you were an adult. But that had never happened, maybe it was just the slow corrosion of bitterness and cynicism that made you one or maybe just the ever-increasing pile of responsibilities. Well, I had all that in droves, but still felt no more adult than I had when I left this school.

"Well as far as the world is concerned, all three of us are," said Yukino. "So I guess we should try and start acting like it."

As if to punctuate her point, the door suddenly slid open to the sound of voices and all three of us looked over at the visitors. Two kids stood in the doorway holding parts of a costume and looking at us apprehensively. Well, I say kids, but they were the same age we had been when this was our club room. No doubt they saw themselves as mature and maybe they were, but they looked so young, closer to my daughter in age than me.

"Excuse us, this is our club room," said one of them cautiously.

"We need to get changed," added the other, hefting the head of the costume for effect.

There was a pause as they waited for a response and eventually Yukino said, "Yes, it is about time we were leaving. Sorry, we were just lost in reminiscence."

She stood, neatly packing our bento boxes away, which acted as a signal for Yui and me to stand. Collecting our things, we awkwardly walked towards the door, where the two students parted to let us pass.

"This used to be our club room too," said Yui to the pair cheerfully. But they just gave her polite smiles that made it clear they didn't give a shit. As they entered, the three of us turned for a final look at our old home, only for the door to slam shut in our faces.

"I guess that's that then," I said with a shrug.

"What shall we do now?" Asked Yui.

"Let's just get out of here and grab a coffee," I said, feeling cranky.

"I had a feeling you'd say that," replied Yui with a smile.

I suppose it must be almost time for your next dose," said Yukino. "When was your last?"

"This morning," I said. "So yes, after all that I could really do with some."

Yukino sighed as she said, "you really drink far too much of that stuff. But I agree I could do with some coffee myself, so shall we go?"

There was a nod of agreement from Yui and myself, so we worked our way back through the school to the entrance. Passing groups of wary students, while Yui whispered despairingly to Yukino about how young they all were.

We emerged back into the world with the hubbub of the school festival still in full swing and the noise was uncomfortably loud after the quiet of the club room. Also, there seemed to be some sort of commotion going on over at the main auditorium, where the wail of guitars could be heard even from here. But it wasn't our problem, so we carried on towards the entrance and freedom.

I really had spoken too soon, as our path was blocked by an old teacher and a very frazzled looking girl with a student council badge. The teacher looked relieved when he saw Yukino and motioned her to come over. She gave us a despairing look and went to them, listening to their urgent whispers. Yukino's expression grew increasingly grave, but eventually, she nodded and they bowed thankfully before scuttling away. She came back to us, looking towards the auditorium with a grim cast.

After a deep breath, Yukino said, "it would seem that our beloved former teacher and her delightful friend, have decided to take up music again." Seeing our confused expressions, she added, "they somehow snuck on to the school grounds rather, inebriated. Then proceeded to gate crash the stage and have an impromptu concert, as you can now hear."

The distant guitars seemed to get louder, to emphasise her point and I groaned. I started to slowly edge in the direction of the school gates, but Yukino stopped me with a hand to my shoulder.

"Not so fast Hikigaya," said Yukino.

"Why do we have to deal with Hiratsuka," I said. "Didn't she want us to leave her alone?"

"I know, but I feel we still have a responsibility towards her," said Yukino. "Saving her from herself was pretty much my intention this morning, it just seems to have been delayed a short while. Anyway, the school has asked me because of my past with Hiratsuka, hoping that we could deal with the situation peacefully."

"Good luck with that," I said.

"Indeed," said Yukino. "Which is why you'll be the one to deal with her.

"Why me, let the police handle it," I complained pointlessly.

"Because you already have experience of weathering Hiratsuka's outbursts," said Yukino with a smile. "Also, I rather not have the law involved, it would be bad for the school and very bad for her."

"Come on Hikki, think of it as an opportunity to be all manly and heroic," added Yui. Completely failing to hide the amusement in her voice.

I gave them a bitter look as Yukino commented, "I wouldn't be so glib Yui. You and I will be dealing with Miss Yamanaka, who despite appearances can be quite terrifying when roused."

Yui smile vanished and her eyes started to look towards the gate, occasionally darting to me as if making a suggestion. "You know, maybe it'd be better if we let someone more official deal with them," said Yui nervously.

Yukino's hand stopped Yui from moving, as she said, "it'll be fine. By the sound of their playing, they're likely far too drunk to put up much resistance."

Neither Yui or I looked entirely convinced, but it seemed Yukino had her heart set on the matter. "Fine, let's just get this over with," I said irritably. "Though you owe me a coffee when this is all over."

"And a pastry," added Yui quickly.

"Very well," said Yukino with a smile. "They'll be on me."

We smiled together and nodded as I said, "Come on then, though I'm sure I'm going to regret this."

I had made the foolish hope that once again I could exit the school gates and my past would be wiped clean. But such a thing was impossible and again the claws of history were reaching out to pull me back. But maybe this time I could see the good things I had done, the precious friends I had made and who had blessed me with the rarest of second chances. Dealing with our wayward teacher was a small price to pay for that and it felt good to working together again.

I wish I could say we looked like some noble samurai, striding together into the sunset like in an old movie. But the flow was the crowd was against us and we had to meander through the people who were wisely escaping the chaos ahead. Different routes, but with a singular goal, the Service Club riding again to save another fool from themselves.

Maybe one day we would finally figure out how to save each other, from our own foolishness.

Author's Note: Hi everyone, thank you all for sticking with me this far.

I'll admit with the ending of this chapter I've run into a bit of a problem, since I had originally intended this to be the end. Mainly because I thought Chapter 12 of Oregairu would be out and this story would now be redundant. Then I'd be stuck with the decision of either: Carrying on regardless, re-writing with the same basic story while including Chapter 12 elements or starting something completely new. As we all know Chapter 12 isn't out yet, so I'm going to take a break from this, at least until recent rumours are confirmed or denied. Though I am planning to write a little spin off story about Hiratsuka and her friend, so keep an eye out for that.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and as always feel free to leave me your thoughts.

Yours

Godric.

P.S. Happy Birthday Hikigaya!