Deeks was still hesitant of helping Kensi relive everything that happened to her father, and Kensi was determined to know her past even if it was painful. Deeks stood from the couch and walked over to the bookshelf that Kensi had in the corner near the TV. Kneeling down he retrieved a black book from the third shelf, all the way to the left. Kensi watched him as he walked back towards her. He laid the book down in her lap, and sat back down beside her on the couch. Kensi opened the book and the first page was a picture of her and her father. Kensi looked over to Deeks, a million questions plagued her mind, so many things she wanted to know, needed to know.

"Every picture of him you own is in this book except the one you have at work, and the one right there." He said pointing to a framed picture near the lamp. Kensi turned her attention to the framed picture Deeks pointed out to her. There was a man sitting on the porch swing, with a bright eyed little girl wearing a red dress. Her hair was in the two pigtails with bows on each one. She was looking up at this man loving as he had a book in his lap he appeared to be reading to her. Kensi's heart melted as she took in the scene of the picture. "You were seven." Deeks replied answering her unasked question.

Kensi looked back down the book that was resting in her lap.

"This was the last picture you have of you two together." Deeks explained.

Kensi reached out, with her finger as she traced the picture that was hidden behind the protective sleeve of her book. She was standing by a man dressed in a uniform, she was wearing a white dress. For the longest time she just stared at this photo praying like hell a memory of this man would come to her, but there was nothing. There was no clue to who he was , no memory of how much she loved him.

"How old was I when he died?" She asked looking up to Deeks.

"Fifteen."

"God, I wish I could remember him. Tell me."

"Kens, I.."

"Please Deeks, please tell me how I lost him. I have to know." She begged. Looking up from her book she caught his eyes. He had never seen her eyes so sad, so desperate as they were now. Damn, he couldn't deny her this, he couldn't deny her of her own memory.

"You were fifteen years old. You were living on the base at the time. You told him you wanted to go out at that night with your friends to see Titanic. He told you no. He left you at home that night and went out to have drinks with the men in his unit. So you snuck out and went anyways." Deeks explained. He paused looking over to Kensi. She was captivated by his story, her eyes intense on everything he was saying.

"You snuck back in that night trying to make sure he didn't catch you. He had caught you one time before sneaking back in. You went right to your room and went to bed. The next morning you woke up to a M.P at the door. He was in a car accident. That's what you were told at the time. It wasn't until recently that you found out otherwise." Deeks explained.

He didn't want to go into all the details of her father and his murder, he wanted to take this one step at a time. Deeks knew he would tell her this eventually, he knew she would have to know, but now was not that time. Now, he was just trying to give her a little glimpse into her past, a little idea of her father. Nate had told him many times not to over to do it, not to push her memories on her all at once that it could actually hurt her more then help her if he did that. The last thing in the world he ever wanted to do was hurt this woman beside him.

Deeks looked over to see Kensi in tears. He hated this, he moved over next to Kensi taking her by the shoulders, and laying her head in his lap.

"He loved you more then anything else in the world. You were his everything. He knew how much you loved him." Deeks said . He let his hand wonder underneath the back of her shirt, where he rubbed soothing circles on the bare skin of her lower back. Her body trembled as she cried for the father she had lost. She didn't know if she was crying more because she lost him or because she couldn't remember losing him.

"I wish I had some memory to hold onto, something happy."

Deeks ran his fingers through her long dark hair, "This is one of your favorite memories of him."

(Flashback Kensi is12 years old)

"Momma look." Kensi said as she walked in the front door of their house.

"What is it Kensi?" Her mother asked turning around from the sink of dishes she was washing to face her daughter.

Kensi held in her arms a tiny black and white kitten.

"You are not keeping that." Her mother said, drying her hands off on the dishtowel.

"She is not keeping what?" Donald asked as he came downstairs into the kitchen.

"Daddy, look what I found isn't he cute." Kensi said handing the little kitten to her father.

"He is the cutest." He said.

"Can I keep him please daddy?" Kensi begged.

"No." Her mother said.

"Come on Julia let her have it. Its just one tiny kitten he cant be that much trouble."

"Please momma I promise I will take care of him."

Julia sighed knowing she had lost this battle. Whenever Kensi and Donald had their minds made up there was no way in not letting them get what they wanted.

"Fine." Julia agreed.

"Yay. Thank you." Kensi squealed as she ran off with her new kitten.

(End flashback)

"You loved that cat to death. You named him Zorro, you had him almost four years you told me." Deeks explained.

With her head still resting in his lap, she looked up to Deeks, "Thank you! For giving me something to hold onto."

Deeks reached into his pocket pulling out an item that held so much value to him. He opened Kensi's hand, placed it in her palm, and closed her fingers around the object.

"Why are you giving me a knife?" Kensi asked confused.

"I am not. I'm returning it. It's yours, well its your father's. You gave it to me when I needed it the most, now I think you need it more then me." Deeks explained.

Kensi pushed herself up out of her partners lap, "I gave you my father's knife?" She questioned.

"You did."

"Wow!" Kensi said. She turned the knife she was now holding over in her hand several times, "I must really care about you if I gave you this." She said.

"Sometimes a knife is just a knife." Deeks said using Kensi's own words from that day.

Kensi stopped playing with the knife she had in her hand, she looked up to Deeks with a questioning look in her eyes. Deeks didn't say anything he just watched her as several looks danced a crossed her face at once. He saw confusion and familiarity at the same time played out on her beautiful features. She was thinking so hard Deeks could have sworn he could almost hear the pieces in her mind coming together, trying to figure out what it was that she knew.

"What is it you remember Kensalina?" He asked her, praying there was something there behind that look.

Kensi smiled, "I have a boyfriend." She replied.

Deeks returned her smile and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, "So does my girlfriend." He responded.

A/N: Here is another little piece of Kensi's memory. What do you think? Thank you so much for the reviews I cant believe how amazing you people are! In the next chapter Kensi will talk to Nate. My new story Fallen Angel has been posted. If you guys check it out, and let me know what you think I would be forever grateful.