The Burning Wing
Chapter 10: Secret love
"Understood sir," I replied back into the phone finishing a private conversation with President Snow. He approved the interview and appreciated on my performance in keeping the Star-crossed lover real. With a sigh, I set the phone back to the server. All I have to do is focus on my concerts until returning back to the District 12 for Katniss photo-shoots. Although I won't be mentoring her on that department. I'll be visiting Haymitch and check on Peeta in seeing how everything is going.
"Blaine, it's starting!" Effie called out for the public broadcasting of my interview.
"Just a moment!" I replied back.
I walked towards the desk that accommodated the room where the three sunflowers from earlier rested in a tall vase. Picking up the card again I went through company logos and insignia through the internet in search of Jabberjay or bird related foundation. This gift bugged me. Only one person I know gave me sunflowers on an off season and that was Xavier. Who is unfortunately dead as we speak! The tablet popped up with no matched to the description of the logo, dead end. Maybe I'm just paranoid? Possibly with all the stress and schedule Effie created that there was hardly enough time to concentrate outside the path. So with a deep breath I walked out of my room and sat on the couch with Effie and Portia eating chocolate covered strawberries.
The recap on the interview was a success through I pay attention to the window when the first question about the moment I became victor and the footage. Once that was out of the way, I was able to enjoy the rest of the show, until the love life. Effie tries to pry out who the guy was from me yet again. Portia giggled saying she might know. I gave her a warning to which she giggled making a zip movement with her hand over her mouth.
"I presumed it's not Augusta," Effie announced with a huff. "You two haven't been dating and such."
"Effie, I don't socialize with low life Casanova. Caesar son or not, he is the most arrogant, sexist man I ever met. He thinks he can seduce and bribe women shows he's no better than Cray." I said crossing my arms.
"Arrogant he maybe, but handsome he certainly is not?" Portia murmured.
"Don't tell me you're infatuated by him?" I asked.
"Nope, I just like the clothes on his body for other gentlemen." She defended before we all had a laugh.
The rest of Caesar show consisted with a few celebrities, of a movie star and model till the show ended. Once done Effie turned off the television and pulled out a nail file to work on her decorative nails. Portia and I randomly talked, giving ideas on clothes line for Peeta and stage outfits for later concerts. Effie yawned saying she should better get going for tomorrow was a big, big, big, day. Yeah, the first concert for the winter season with songs from Gothica and other singles. Not much a merry tune but a deep soulful night. Portia stayed a while longer when Effie left.
"It's Cinna, isn't it?" Portia announced.
"What?" I asked drinking some tea.
"Don't evade the question Blaine." She said setting her wine glass aside. "You maybe an actress when on stage, but I can see what's going on. I see how you two look at each other. So you know Cinna can do unexplainable thing."
"What do mean?"
Portia gave a sincere smile then blinked shaking her head, "Sorry, must be the alcohol. I better be going as Effie says, 'Tomorrow is a big, big, big, day!'"
I shook my head not surprised that Portia is holding back on the secret. Practically everyone has a secret to a point it could ruin everything. Katniss with her affair with Gale and temptation with rebellion, President Snow conspiracy of the Profit Circle, Cinna's mysterious behavior, and my second job as a spy. Its best things are kept a secret. Portia and I say goodbye her waltzing out of the room. I sighed taking another sip of tea when noticing Portia forgot her coat. Oops, give it three minutes and she'll come back. Four minutes later the door opens.
"Forgot something?" I asked lifting the coat up.
"That is not mine," Cinna replied.
My eyes widen as I stiffen for the sudden appearances. Shit, I knew he'll come here to talk about what happen at the Interview…..but not so soon. So I put the coat down and looked over my shoulder to see Cinna who held his typical mask. I gulped not sure in what to do or what to say in fact. Cinna sat down next to me and did the unexpected; he took my hand and kissed it.
"Cinna….I-um-"
"I know, didn't expect you to confess on live television." He said with a smile.
I scoffed picking up a pillow and smacking him with it. He laughed taking the assault as he set the pillow down. "You're doing it again."
I stared at him confused so he explained, "Avoiding the subject. Blaine, I know you're afraid of commitment and it's normal." He takes my hand again, "Remember at the Victory banquet, when we kissed in the rose garden and I told you to set the pace?" I nodded. "You still have that control."
"Why are you so….." I couldn't find the rights words to say. Cinna was practically the best man I ever met in the Capitol. Somebody who understands me and let me have control when I've been caged forever. "Why me?"
Cinna scowled for a second then leaned closer cradling my face, "There are many reasons that I can't say verbally. But I can still see the little girl who inspired me ten years ago."
"Cinna," I breathed as he leaned closer till his lips met mine.
Whatever I was about to say vanished. All the possible fears and excuses disappeared as I responded to the kiss. The kiss was soft, cautious, and gentle till he started too pulled back. I hesitated unsure what to do after this. If this was a client I would have teased, but this wasn't a client, this was Cinna. I don't want to give him the scripted session.
"Relax," Cinna whispered against my lips.
I exhaled closing my eyes as Cinna kissed me again this time more vigor. So engrossed in the kiss, not realizing Cinna pushing me against the couch while my fingers clenched onto his shoulders, bring us closer. We haven't kissed liked this since the rose garden. He pulled back resting our foreheads together panting. We looked into each other eyes seeing a cloud of lust and something more. Until the door click, somebody was coming in that Cinna and I pulled back adjusting our position pretending to watch a show.
"Sorry, I forgot my coat." Portia said.
.o0o.
Later in the day all the embarrassment disappeared after Portia barged in on us kissing. Cinna and I looked out through the balcony watching the Capitol waste everything. All the districts resources, politics, and everything on life.
"So what are we?" I asked.
"I think the term is a couple," Cinna replied.
"But what as a couple," I corrected. "A lot is happening and I don't know what to do. All my clients were thinking of themselves and to me was an act, but when I'm with you it's different. Also our status, the victor and the stylist of district twelve…."
"You're afraid of the world finding out about us." He snorted shaking his head.
"Close yet no," I said. "Not when the Star-crossed lover is at a stalemate. You know it's an act with Haymitch and I having to keep the plot going. Another distraction could lead to suspicion and that we're coworkers, and me being a singer. I don't want a derange fan go overboard on ya."
Cinna chuckled of the thought of one of my fans who is obsessed with me going to kill him. Not the reaction I was expecting then again this was Cinna. He took a deep breath and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
"We can keep our relationship a secret for the time being," he suggested. "Until things settled out with the wedding arrangement for Katniss and Peeta, and the Quells."
"That's another thing I fear," I breathed.
"Whys that?"
"First quell the tributes were voted by their own district. Second quell the amount of tributes doubled. Now the third could be anything; a complete gender game, age differences, family, anything. And I'll be here trying to save their lives each passing second while sorting out other Capitol amusement." I clenched my fist tight. "Every second of everyday is game to me. Although I'm not winning, in fact I'm folding the cards losing every single chip I have."
"I know what you mean," he murmured leaned against the ramp. "Life's a gamble. And our reputation and self is on the line."
"Sometimes the Capitol takes further the things I want." I breathed trying to prevent tears from falling. I slammed my fist to the rail. "I want a life that is mine! I want to be happy. Normal. I want to know what it's like to wake up in the morning and not feel guilty. What it is like to walk down the street and not look over my shoulder. I want that."
"Blaine," Cinna breathed standing up to embrace me in his arms. "What's keeping you from your dreams?"
"Snow," I whispered looking up to the sky and realized it was snowing. "Something that isn't red."
Cinna sighed not quite understanding the distraction I was in when it comes to snow. He stepped back heading inside while I stood out there watching snow fall. I hate the snow since the day I got out of the arena. What supposed to be pure now stained red everywhere I look? The past covered in blood on the snowy top of the mountains where twenty-three tributes died. Snow and blood should never cross paths in the opposite occupation each resigns on life. Yet the bloodbath of the seventy-first hunger games resent that. As the powder white snow sprayed red in innocent blood.
"Snow would have to do what snow does best." Cinna said returning with a blanket and wrapped it around us. "Snow would have to fall."
Snow would have to fall.