Chapter 10

Luke, Drew, Shane, Laurence, and I grouped on some cold, stone steps round the back of our school trying to avoid science as if it were the plague. This wind was bitter as it stirred amongst the fallen leaves and the crisp packets, discarded by thugs unable to use a bin. Shane popped his coat collar, to which Drew embraced him, almost immediately. He pulled his shivering friend across his legs, and stroking his blond hair. I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of their cute friendship; or was it a relationship? I hadn't ever asked, but I was definitely curious. My desire to be like them radically took control of my actions and I found myself squeezing Laurence, only to hear Shane and Drew giggling before returning back to their original spaces. Laurence pulled away from me, a little to rough for my comfort, and adjusted his back against the wall. He started talking to Luke about something uninteresting to me, as Drew and Shane gently pecked at each others lips (that confirmed my suspicions!). I peeked inside my coat to take a look at my phone, just to pass some time, when Laurence leapt onto my lap, nearly dropping him. "Payback, bitch!" he smirked, playfully nudging my shoulder.

"You can get off if you want." I half laughed, half winced, as he re-positioned himself right onto my crotch, until he was looking right into my eyes.
"No." He pouted, sticking his bottom lip out like a stubborn child, "You're comfy."
So with that he remained on top of me, talking to our friends as if nothing unusual had just occurred. I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around his waist and smother him from head to toe with my own body. I imagined what being with him would be like, being free to cuddle with him whenever I-

"Ow FUCK!" a stone had been thrown at my head. I looked round to see two figures disappearing around the corner, followed by a very original shout of "FAGS!". Laurence smiled but his eyes showed an aching sadness. He looked down at his hand and laced it into mine, whispering "They aren't wrong."

That night, I lay on my bed just staring at the ceiling, replaying that moment in my head, Friday slowly drifting towards Saturday morning. My emotions were spiraling and zigzagging, until my brain felt like it was about to implode from over-thinking. I rolled onto my side, lazily reaching for my phone and opening a blank text to Laurence. I thumbed: 'Me too... *send*', and awaited a reply for what appeared to be hours, resuming my upward-gazing stance.

Laurence: 'KIER! ITS 2AM'
he replied, quickly adding 'but im glad you like pandas too :)' What? I scrolled upwards to see my last text from him was a picture with 'I ' and a picture of a panda.
You: 'well I just thought you needed to know ;)' I sent
Laurence: 'okay. see you tomorrow... well today x'
Laurence was staying at mine for the night whilst my parents were going to see some relatives up North, and probably wouldn't be home until really late.

"Today could be my chance" I mumbled to myself, replying with a panda emoji.