Flipping her hand out to smack the loud alarm, she released a long sigh as she sunk back into the warmth of her bed. Well it just wasn't the warmth of her bed. Rolling on her side, she ran her hand over his check and frowned.

He was perfect, so completely perfect and she really didn't deserve him. However, that didn't mean giving him up was easy. Everyone assumed this was easy for her. That she just went on with her day like it was nothing, but she didn't.

She didn't leave her room because she didn't want to run into their friends, she didn't eat because she really just felt sick all the time and she honestly hadn't slept in days because all she did was cry. It was confusing to her how her life was perfect, so completely perfect and overnight it flipped. Overnight her non-complicated life got so damn complicated and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know what was right anymore.

She wanted to be with him, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him but she wanted him to want that. She wanted him to make the decision that being with her was what he truly wanted. Though he said it now, in a few years was he still going to want that? Was he going to be happy where their life was? Was he going to hate that she made him stay here?

Then added to that was the fact Gina's words echoed in her head. She didn't deserve him, she knew that. However, she believed most couples swear their partner could do better. They just didn't get reminded of it all the time. And she was truly exhausted of defending herself to her.

"I love you…" she whispered, shaking her head. "I swear I do," she leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to his parted lips. The blonde stirring a bit before becoming still, his arm resting tight around her slim body and her head dropped to his chest. "I just don't know what to do anymore…" she curled into him and toyed with the necklace around his neck.

She should get up; she knew she had a lot to do today. She had class in half an hour and she had to drive back to town to see her mom for lunch to talk about stuff. Plus, she knew she had to go talk to her brother and make sure they were ok and then on top of that she had way too much backed up homework she had to get too. However, none of that seemed important. All she wanted to do was lay right there in his arms and forget the rest of the world.

"Mmm…" he stretched and her eyes slammed tight as his hand ran up under the back of her shirt. His hand, like always, causing a line of goose bumps along her skin. She swore no one ever affected her with their touch like he did. Even the simplest of touches from him sent her whole body aflame.

His eyes fluttering open, he flicked his tongue across his lips and tasted her strawberry chapstick. He swore she didn't even have to apply the red gloss anymore and that her lips just naturally tasted like it now. Like the flavor had sunk into her soft lips and he loved it. Loved if even more because he knew that the light dream he just had of her kissing him wasn't a dream.

Shifting his weight on the bed, he rolled her on her side and her eyes widened. Sucking hard on her bottom lip, her heart raced as he went to brush her hair back from her face.

"Morning…" he ran his finger down her cheek and she just added more pressure to her lip. "You sleep well?"

"Yeah…" her voice cracked a bit as she nervously ran her hand up to rest along his wrist as his finger still stroked her cheek. "You feeling ok?"

"Perfect," he gave that grin that made her heart skip a beat and she had to glance away from it. "Brooke…" he whispered out but her eyes remained locked on his collar bone. Knowing she stared into those gorgeous blue orbs to long she would crumble. "Come here," his finger curled under her chin and her body tensed up as he lifted her up for a sweet kiss she felt race through her body. Her hand planting on his chest, he gripped it tight as she sunk into the bed and he added more pressure to their kiss.

Nipping at her bottom lip, she whimpered against his lips as he curled their fingers together and brought it to rest beside her head. Rolling over on top of her, her breath caught when he rolled his hips into her.

"Lucas…" she mumbled against his lips, bringing her hands to cup his cheeks and tilt him back from her. Instantly feeling her lips turn cold missing his. "Stop…" she whispered, him shifting his weight to rest between her legs. "We can't do this," she ran her hand through his hair and he frowned.

"Yes, we can…" he ran his hand down her body and gripped onto her shorts she wore to bed making her body shiver. "Even when we were bad, we were always so good at this," he ran the tip of his tongue across her neck and she swallowed hard.

"Uhh…" her head dropped into the pillow when he nipped the sweet skin. He was right, she knew he was. Even back in high school when they had their issues, sex was something that never really changed. Even when she was mad at him, even when he was livid with her, sex…sex was something they were always really good at. Great at.

"Damn I've missed you," his hand danced across her stomach and her body cringed back into the bed.

"Lucas stop," she seemed more sure of herself as she tugged his hands away from her aching body. "Baby stop, please stop…" she begged and instantly he pulled back. The brunette never having to ask more than once for him to quit. He knew the difference in her tones, he knew when she was about to cave and when she really didn't want to and he never pushed it. He knew better.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, resting his head against hers and stroking his thumb over her soft cheek. "I just miss you, miss being with you."

"I know…I know you do but…but this doesn't change anything Luke…" she told him with a long sigh. "I'm sorry, but it won't."

"Remember…" he paused a moment and pulled in a long breath as he thought. "Remember when we went to Maui a couple years back? How we stayed in that little house on the beach and it rained the whole time…"

"Of course I remember…" she sucked her lip, unsure where he was going with this.

"It was our first time away from everyone just us and it was also the first time we had a huge blow up fight," he reminded her.

"You broke a window," she released a small laugh remembering it. She didn't know what it was; they had fought before but not like this one. The sun had shined for about an hour so they decided to go out. However, while out some girl decided to completely throw herself on Lucas and after one to many drinks a very drunk Brooke went off on a pretty sober Lucas and in that time she said things to him that to this day she regretted, not that he was to kind either.

"I know," he ran his finger along her cheek looking down at her. "But I said some things I wasn't too proud of…"

"Yeah…" she let out a dry laugh. "Recall the mentions of you telling me how sometimes you wished you weren't in a relationship because the old you would have more fun…"

"Yeah," he nodded remembering that. "But I also didn't mean it…"

"Sounded like you did at the time…"

"I called my mom," he told her and her brows creased. "I told her what happened. Told her what I had said…stuff you said and then told her how scared I was…"

"Scared?" her voice cracked and he slowly nodded.

"I thought I was going to lose you," he frowned, cupping her cheek.

"Lucas…"

"I was mad and I just…I said shit and it was stupid. However, all I thought was in the heat of being a jackass I screwed up so bad that I was going to lose you and I had no clue how to stop that from happening. I never fought with you like that; you know how shitty I am with relationships. You know I never know what is going to be the cause of one ending…"

"One stupid fight doesn't…"

"That's what my mom said," he let out a small laugh and offered a shrug. "I told her that you are the only thing in years that I did right. In high school, after the whole…Michael stuff," he flipped his hand around and she bit her lip. "I almost gave you up…I almost said, whatever. She was just a girl out of…many…I'd get over it…but while you were away all I did was think about you. Every time something would happen I wanted to call you, I wanted to just be with you…"

"Lucas…"

"And I knew, I knew then you weren't just some girl of many. You were the girl," he shrugged and her eyes closed. "We got in a big fight and we figured it out, I was a jackass and pushed you away in high school and we still figured it out. This time we didn't fight, we didn't have a big blow up and we didn't say hurtful things to each other. How am I supposed to believe if nothing like that happened we aren't together anymore?"

"I wish I could give you an answer…"

"I'm not going to push you," he promised and she bit hard on her trembling lip. "I'm not going to force you to tell me and I' m not going to push you on anything, but I'm not going to give you up either. You need time to figure something out, whatever that is I don't know, but I'm going to give it to you. I'm still going to be here but I'm going to give you some space. Figure out what you need to figure out and then come back to me," he shrugged, like it was all that simple.

"Lucas…" her voice shook as she cupped both his cheeks. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I'm not good without you," he told her honestly. "And the way I feel about you…it's too strong to just be something that one day I look back on and remember as that high school girlfriend. You're supposed to be with me. I just…I have to get you to remember why."

"I don't deserve you…" she whispered out, staring into those gorgeous blue orbs and feeling her heart tighten in her chest. "You are so amazing Lucas. The most amazing man in this world and you deserve the best. The best in everything you do and want."

"And I have the best," he gave a crocked grin and she glanced down. "Well, at least I used too. So just have to wait until you realize that again," he shrugged and pulled in a long breath, gripping her chin and lifted her for a kiss that he wanted to do the best to remember. "I'm going to go…" he whispered and she nodded. "When you figure it out, come back to me ok?" he asked, but she didn't give him an answer. Just gazed up at him and he let out a small painful laugh as he gave her one last kiss. "Bye, love," he rolled out of the bed and grabbed his clothes. Pulling them on in silence he paused at the door and his head stayed dropped as he gripped the handle. "I…I love you," he told her quickly and she heard the break in his voice as he quickly opened the door and stepped out. The door closing quickly behind him and she let out a small sob.

"Well, you look like complete shit," the older woman said as she eased down in her chair.

"Gee, thanks mom," she rolled her eyes and placed her purse on the ground. "To think I drove all this way to be told I look like shit."

"Oh hush, it seriously takes you twenty minutes to get here and on top of that you came here to have lunch with me. Me telling you that you look like shit is just a bonus," she offered a shrug and her daughter let out a bitter laugh. "So tell me," she leaned on the table and brought her coffee to her lips. "Why do you look so rough?"

"Because…" she ran her hand through the mess of her hair and shrugged. "My heart doesn't feel good. When someone's heart doesn't feel good, they really don't care what the outside looks like…"

"Why doesn't your heart feel good?" her brows creased confused, knowing no one mentioned anything to her about something wrong with the young girl. Yes, Clay called asking if she had talked to her daughter, but he was kind of vague on it all. Just said she was stressing about school and maybe they should get together. However, stressing about school didn't make your heart hurt. "Brooke…" she reached across the table to take her hand when she noticed her eyes start to glaze over.

"Damn it," she cursed, taking her sleeve and running it under her eye. "I told myself I wasn't going to cry about this anymore. I'm so tired of crying…"

"Crying about what?"

"Lucas…Lucas and I broke up," she gave a half shrug to admit and felt her throat tightened.

"What?" her mother's eyes widened as she leaned back in the chair. "What do you mean ya'll broke up?"

"I mean we aren't together anymore mom," she repeated, swearing it hurt more every time she did. "We are done, over with."

"Brooke, I-" she opened her mouth to speak but slammed it shut when she realized she had no clue what to say. "Why? What did he do?"

"Nothing," she laughed shaking her head. "He did nothing. Why does everyone always think he did something? Why does no one ever think it was me?"

"You're my daughter and you seem to be hurting. Of course my mind jumps to him doing something wrong…"

"Well he didn't, he…he honestly doesn't want this," she explained, replaying their morning together in her head. "He wants me back…he just doesn't know what is wrong. Said he will give me space…"

"Why do you need space? What happened?"

"What happened is I'm a stupid girl. I'm just a stupid, stupid girl and I screwed up," she tossed her hands up. "I was careless and dumb and I made a stupid rash decision and I hate that decision but I can't…I can't just be like sorry and it be better."

"Why? Why can't you just be like sorry and it be better?"

"I love him," she told her after a long pause. "I swear I love him…"

"Then where is the issue?" she asked unsure of why if you loved someone you couldn't just be with them.

"Because it's complicated," the young girl gave a shrug and dropped back in her seat. "And because his family hates me and I'm so tired of explaining myself to them. Then I completely panicked and broke up with him, which was a complete rash decision and it was stupid, so stupid. However, now I've made a whole mess of everything and I've lied to him and hurt him and I can't just go back."

"What do you want to do then, Brooke?" her mother asked, honestly really not getting her daughter or her thoughts.

"I…" she pulled in a long breath to calm herself. "I want him not to hate me…" she gave a short shrug. "Or be disappointed in me or… mad at me. I don't want him to take that stupid job I keep telling him to take. Yet, I don't want him to not take it because I'm asking him not too. I honestly…I honestly want to go back to a little over a month ago when everything was perfect. Before I found that stupid email and before his Gina so kindly told me how beneath her I was and before I-" she opened her mouth but snapped it shut when she realized she didn't want to admit that part. "I just want him happy…I hate more than anything seeing him hurt."

"He's not handling things well?"

"Not at all," she frowned. "He…he keeps telling me he wants to fix it and whatever he did he was sorry for. But he doesn't have to be sorry, he didn't do anything. We are just…growing up…"

"Well he loves you Brooke…Over the last few years I've seen that young man grow and he has grown into an amazing man who is so hopelessly in love with you. He fully had the vision of marrying you and starting a family with you and spending his life with you and you admitted you overnight flipped. That's going to take a lot to understand."

"I know…" she gripped her hand in her hair and squeezed her eyes shut. "I just don't want him upset with me…"

"He seems pretty upset already, kiddo…"

"I know…but…but can I tell you something?" she asked and her mother slowly nodded. The young girl pulling in a long breath to calm herself before revealing everything.

"Luke!" the blonde glanced over his shoulder to see his friend jogging up behind him. "Wait up man…"

"Hey man," he flashed him a half smile as he pushed the key into the lock and twisted the door open. Stepping into their cool apartment and dropped his key on the counter.

"Where were you at last night?" Clay wondered in behind him and pulled out his headphones. "Lee and I feared you might have ended up in a dark alley or something with some bald guy named Clive."

"Clive?" his brow arched and he offered a shrug.

"Lee stated that one…"

"Figures," he laughed opening the fridge and grabbing his water bottle. "But no, I went out with Haley. You knew that…"

"Yeah, but I also know Nathan left to pick her up because she drank a little too much," he pointed out and the blonde shrugged as he started to make him something to eat. "I also know he said you weren't there."

"Ok…?"

"It's not my business," Clay stated first because he knew it wasn't at all, however, even if he was annoyed with her Brooke was still his sister. His job was to look out for her. "But where were you at man?" he pushed to know and the blonde turned to face him and lean against the counter. "You look a little like shit, but not like you slept anywhere weird."

"Dude…"

"And she is being weird as shit but she is still my sister and she really does love you," he told him and the boy in front of him shook his head. "Be a real fucked up thing to do."

"And her breaking up with me isn't a fucked up thing?!" his temper rose, not getting why he was being looked at as a bad guy. "I'm not sure if you recall Clay, but I'm single. She and I aren't together anymore and I'm really free to do as I wish."

"So you did hook up with someone last night?"

"My god this is so stupid," he ran a hand over his face and groaned. "I didn't hook up with anyone last night. Why do you think I would? Why does everyone think I'm just going to fuck around because I'm not in a relationship?" he used air quotes because he didn't really consider it that. He still thought he was in one, his girl was just being nuts at this moment. "I didn't do anything wrong here."

"I know, I know you didn't man but…but you've been seeming kinda off the last few weeks and then suddenly this morning we wake up to find you…well not chipper because I don't think you get chipper but in a way better mood and then you have been. You normally don't get like that unless…" he trailed off not wanting to say it or picture the reasoning.

"Unless what?"

"Well…" he pulled in a long breath and cringed as it started to come out of his mouth. "Let's just say we can tell when you are and aren't getting some. When you aren't…you're a major ass…"

"I'm always an ass," he waved his hand at that and took a sip of his water. "But I didn't hook up with anyone last night. I…I stayed at Brooke's…"

"Seriously?" his eyes widened and the blonde offered a short shrug, him never good at this talking stuff. Especially about private things. "So, ya'll are good now?"

"No," he let out a dry laugh. "We aren't good, may not be for a little while but…"

"But what?"

"But I'm not going to give her up," he gave a shrug. "I'm not sure what is wrong with her but I'm letting her figure it out. She will come back to me, just has to figure out what she has going on."

"Luke…"

"She kissed me," he grinned a little. "And I know that's not much. I mean, it's probably not anything but she did and…and I saw it man. I know that girl, I do," he said because he swore he knew her better than anyone. "Something is really wrong, but she doesn't want this. She doesn't want us not together. You can seriously see all the pain in her and that kills me. It kills me to know she is hurting and I can't stop it."

"Stop what?" they glanced up to see their friend walking into the room.

"Nothing…" Lucas cut it off quickly, knowing he really didn't want to discuss it with Lee. He loved his best friend, they had been friends for years but it didn't change he didn't trust he didn't talk to Brooke and know more than he was telling him.

"Are you two finally coming out as a couple?" he teased and Clay rolled his eyes standing up from the stool. "How damn adorable," he pinched Lucas's cheek and he slapped it away. "But, I'm off to see my lady men," he moved toward the door and grabbed his keys. "And remember," he turned to point at them with a serious expression. "Use protection…"

"Dude, get out of here," Clay threw a towel at him and he chuckled and shut the door. "I swear that guy is half retarded…"

"More than half," he blonde grabbed his phone and slid it to see if he had any messages. Frowning a bit when it revealed none. "But I think I might go for a run, see you later?"

"Yeah, dude, I'm going to take a shower," he told him and grabbed a drink from the fridge. "But dude, seriously with Brooke, I think ya'll will be good."

"Me too," he told him, because he honestly believed that as he grabbed his iPod. "See you later," he moved toward the door and shut it behind him.

Jogging around campus, he felt the throbbing in his knee but he ignored it. Yes, it was hurting, but he was learning to work through the pain. Plus, he found the more it hurt, the less he focused on other things. Rounding the corner of the main building he placed his hands on his knees as he panted and regained his breath.

Pulling in a long one, he felt the pain rip through his body as he straightened up and clutched his sides. The pain in his knee making him want to almost vomit but again he tried to ignore it.

"Hey you," he glanced up to notice the familiar blonde in front of him.

"Oh…hey Kimber," he yanked in a sharp breath and released it. "What you up too?"

"Nothing, just leaving my final lecture," she pointed her thumb over her shoulder and he nodded. "How are you though?" she wondered, knowing her roommate had been in their dorm way too much lately. Not that she cared, but she almost got so used to having it to herself it took a while to remember what it was like to have a roommate again.

"Fine…" he shrugged, never really knowing how to read Kimber. She reminded him a bit of Riley from high school, yet she seemed less fake. She was very up front with you and spoke her mind, but she flirted all the time, even if the guy was with someone else she didn't care. He dealt with her because she was Brooke's roommate but he still never knew if he liked her or not.

"You sure?" she pushed shuffling toward him and her brows dipped in the corners. "Brooke's seemed pretty upset lately. I just figured it was because of something with you…"

"She is fine, we are fine," he felt his jaw lock, so tired of defending his…well whatever he and Brooke were at that point. It was no one's business. He didn't have to explain anything to anyone.

"Ok…cool," she seemed unsure of the blonde just shrugged it off. "Well, I have to head home. But see you later?"

"Sure," he gave a nod, but knowing he wasn't going to go out of his way to see her.

"Cool, bye Lucas," she gave his hand a squeeze before pushing back on her feet and turning down the path. Cutting her eyes back at him, she gave a smile before rounding a corner and disappearing.

"Weird girl," he shook his head, pulling his phone from his pocket when he felt it going off. Noticing it being a reminder of a text he received almost an hour ago. A text that he really cursed not seeing sooner.

From: Brooke

'Hey, I was just checking on you. Hope you aren't feeling too sick from last night and that you got home safe.'

"Shit," he growled, hating it had been a while since she sent it. Hoping she didn't think he was ignoring her as he hit the little green button and brought the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby girl," he sunk back against the brick wall and heard her yank in a sharp breath. Hoping him calling her that didn't bother her. He didn't mean too, he really didn't think of it anymore. It was just a natural thing for him.

"Hi…"

"I umm…I saw you text me," he said and paused a moment to see if she would comment. "I went for a jog and it was in my gym pocket. I didn't feel my phone going off until I stopped running."

"Oh…" she worried on her lip and toyed with a napkin before her. "I'm sorry to have bothered you. I just…I wanted to make sure you were ok. I know you don't drink a lot…"

"I'm fine love," he promised, because he did feel fine. He was surprised this morning how well he felt, especially after he received a not so nice text from Haley telling him how much she hated him for letting her drink so much. "How are you?"

"I'm good, I didn't drink the bar…" she teased and he loved when he heard her laugh. He missed her laugh.

"That you didn't," he toyed with the necklace around his neck that she had given him awhile back. It wasn't, just some old indie kind thing but she liked it and she got it from him so he wore it. "What are you doing? Want to…I don't know…meet for some coffee…"

"Lucas…" she sighed and shook her head. "I can't…I'm at the library working on a paper."

"Oh…" he frowned, knowing he didn't hide his disappointment. "Well just call me later then."

"Ok…" she bit her lip and pulled in a long breath. "Bye…"

"Bye…" he shook his head and hung up. Dropping his head against the wall he shook his head and put his headphones back in as he started to jog. Rounding another corner he cut his eyes to the left and felt his entire body come to a stop as he glanced inside the local diner that the college kids frequented. His brows scrunching, he felt the pain rip through his chest at the girl sitting at a table and staring at her phone.

He wanted to go to her, he wanted to sit with her but he didn't want to push her. He promised he wouldn't push her, but that didn't change it hurt like hell she lied to him about where she was. Hurt to know she didn't want to be around him.

Curling his fingers in his hair and watched her and watched as she glanced up to flash a large smile as a hand held a cup of coffee. Her taking it and taking a large sip as the large body dropped beside her.

It was wrong, it couldn't be right. She wouldn't lie to him to meet someone else and the guy beside her wouldn't lie to him because he was a shitty liar. However, he didn't like how she laughed, he didn't like how she would throw her head back and laugh with him and grip his hand. How she would smile in a way he hadn't seen in weeks and he hated even more when her eyes cut up to look at his and he swore she glowed.

He hadn't seen that in weeks. He used to be the cause of that and to know someone else was doing it killed him. Gripping his hands tight, he tried to calm himself, tried to remember what they talked about earlier. That she seemed into it, she seemed to truly want him to wait and fight for her, however as he did that he also thought of one thing that happened earlier. One little thing and he felt sick.

'Well I'm going to go visit my lady…'

And then he snapped.

Well hope you enjoyed!

But hope you liked the new chapter!

Sorry you all hate Brooke!

Please review!