Keeping Secrets Hurts
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"I just don't see how this could happen" Carly whispers in the living room.
"He called me; he has to know what's going on here" Sam says.
"That's not possible; he couldn't get here without being caught. Do you think he is just trying to get into your head? I mean everything he said sounds pretty vague."
"I don't know, maybe"
"I'll call Allison and tell her it is really Chris, the house is under police watch 24/7, he can't get in here. We will find him" Carly says confidently. Sam still looks doubtful. "Sam, we will find him, I promise" She says, grabbing Sam's shoulder for assuredness.
"It's only been a few days, I am so stupid to think I didn't have to worry anymore" She whispers.
"You don't, you have us and we are not letting you go anywhere" Carly says. That didn't help me last time, Sam bitterly thinks, but quickly yells at herself for even thinking that, she is just tense, she didn't mean it.
"Yeah" Sam says.
"Sam, look at me" Carly demands, "It will be okay, I promise you on our friendship, on my life" Sam smiles a little. It's like we are children again, having a secret that we promise on our friendship. It was the most important thing to us.
"I just shouldn't have gotten so wrapped up in everything and I should have actually remembered about reality" She says.
"This is reality"
"No, it's not. I have been living this fantasy since I got back, moving in here, painting my kid's rooms, having Freddie move back_"
"That is not a fantasy, Sam. This is your life. Chris is not your life, he is not reality. This home, your kids, and Freddie, they are real and they are here. Do not let him make you believe otherwise" Carly says.
"Yeah…." Sam says looking around the room. "I don't even remember when I got so afraid of him. I just don't want to go back" She whispers.
"You won't" Carly says, grabbing her hand. "Have you told Freddie about this?"
"No I haven't"
"Maybe you should"
"No" Sam says, "I don't want to… I can't"
"I think you have to. You can't keep this from him" Carly tells her.
"Carly, what am I supposed to say? He is going to go off the edge when he hears this" Sam argues.
"He is going to off if you keep it from him"
"But if I tell him now, he will start to worry more than he should and we don't have any leads on Chris or anything about where he is" Sam defends.
"Start to worry, like how you are?" Carly asks.
"It's different for him"
"How is it different?" She asks.
"Because this whole thing has eaten away at him for years! And he blames himself for everything, he couldn't save me then and it's killing him! Now everything is starting to get back to before, if I bring this up it will destroy him" Sam says.
"You're protecting him" Carly states quietly.
"I have to"
"Sam honey" Carly starts, "You do not have to protect him. You two are together, your problems are his problems, that's what marriage is."
"Marriage?" Sam questions, startled by the mention of her and Freddie married.
"I mean…. Oh come on, you are seriously questioning my choice of words? You found the ring" She says.
"I just never really thought about it together, you know?"
"I know" Carly says, "Just tell him, okay?"
"Okay" Sam agrees.
So Freddie we need to talk, oh no there is absolutely nothing wrong with us, you are perfect. It is just that you know that guy who almost killed us by trying to ram us off the road? The one who you thought was one of your best friends? Yeah, Chris, that guy. Well I know you found me a few days ago after fourteen years and I love you and you're moving back in and we thought we were in the clear with Chris…. Well he has been calling me lately. Oh I'm sure it's him and get this he thinks I'm making a mistake, but don't worry I don't think it's a mistake, I'm just terrified something awful is going to happen, maybe not to me but to Anna or Matthew or maybe even you. I didn't want to tell you because I was trying to protect you because I couldn't survive if something ever happened to you, but Carly convinced me to tell you. So now I have, are you okay? Sam paces back and forth in the bedroom, Yeah, Sam because that would work out so well. Urrrrggghhhh, what am I supposed to say? Stupid, stupid…..
"Hey, I was thinking about making burgers for lunch. Matthew said it's his favorite. Does that sound good?" Freddie asks walking into the room, making Sam jump a little and breaking her thought process.
"Yeah fine" Sam says rushed.
"Hey, are you alright?" He asks coming closer to her.
"I'm fine" She says. Freddie just gives her a look knowing she is lying. "I'm fine" Sam says again. Freddie rests a hand on her cheek, Sam's eyes close under his touch.
"I don't want to push you, but I just want you to know, that I know something is wrong. You can't lie to me, I know you Sam" He says sincerely.
"Yeah, I know you do" Sam says. Tell him…. No I can't…. just tell him… I ca… Sam argues with herself before she says, "I'm fine and burgers sound great. I'm starving" She smiles.
"Okay, well I get started" He says. Sam kisses him.
"I love you" She says.
"Love you too" He says. What is she keeping from me? I hope she isn't getting second thoughts about us moving back together. No, she wouldn't.
"These are really good" Matthew says, biting into his double stacked cheeseburger.
"Best burger ever. You are a good cook Freddie" Anna says.
"Thanks guys" Freddie says, smiling. He is loving this, Sam thinks. God, they love him. They really do.
"It's great" Sam tells him.
"So what are we going to do? Like for school and actually living here?" Matthew asks.
"You are actually asking about going to school? There is no way you can be my kid" Sam jokes.
"I'm just saying, I don't know how far behind we are in this new school and I don't know, I guess I wouldn't mind starting to meet new friends and stuff" He says.
"Good point. I haven't really thought about it that much, but I'll call the schools today and Allison and we can see about putting you guys in school as soon as things work out" Sam says.
"What needs to be worked out?" Anna asks. Finding Chris, Sam thinks.
"Just getting you guys into the new school system" Sam says.
"Freddie said you went to school to be a teacher" Matthew says.
"Yeah, I did" Sam says.
"Are you going to start teaching now, mom?" Anna asks.
"I don't think so. It has been a long time since I studied everything for teaching, I forgot a lot of it so I'm not sure, but it would definitely not be for a while." She says.
"If anyone could do it your mom can" Freddie tells them.
"Excuse me" Sam says getting up from the table. Me actually teaching again? Why does he tell them these things? I can't possibly learn everything to start teaching again, what was Freddie thinking telling them that, it's not going to happen… Okay, Sam just calm down. You're on edge and you are taking it out on everything around you. It's okay that Freddie told them about you being a teacher, I mean it's who you are, who you really are.
"Are you okay?" Freddie asks, walking to her in the hallway.
"I was just surprised you told them about me teaching and it just got me thinking about everything, that's all" She says.
"Thinking about what else Chris took from you" He says. Sam's eyebrows shoot up with surprise when hearing Freddie mention Chris. "I'm just stating the facts, we can't just ignore him, it happened, but it's over now" He says in response to Sam's expression. I so wish it was over, Sam wants to tell him, but she just thinks it instead.
"Yeah it just got me thinking about teaching and how I never really got the chance to be what I wanted" Sam says.
"You can still be a teacher now, I mean after all this settles" He says.
"Freddie, I have basically forgotten everything I learned in college, there is no way I would be able to teach"
"You can be surprised by how much you really remember and you have to take a reassessment test anyway, it wouldn't hurt to just try" He suggests. Sam knows he knows she can't say no to him and his suggestions.
"Maybe, but not until everything just calms down for a while" Sam agrees.
"Of course, that sounds like a great plan. When did you get so smart?" Freddie mocks.
"I must learn from the best" She says moving closer to him.
"You must" He replies leaning to her and kissing her.
"I love you" Sam whispers.
"Love you too" Freddie says, giving her another quick kiss, then returning to the kitchen. Sam smiles watching him. This is real. Sam is getting butterflies, like a child again, when she thinks that this is really where she is going to stay for the rest of her life with Freddie, with Matthew and Anna, in this house. It's all I ever wanted. Chris can't take it away, he won't. I'm Sam Puckett and it's my life. Sam looks around at the house, this is where Anna will leave for Prom, this is where Matthew will bring his first girlfriend, this is where Freddie will come home after work, where we will sit at the dinner table trying to get a conversation out of the kids, where Anna and Matthew will go through their rebellion teenage years, this is where everything will happen; my life, their lives, our lives. Sam can't help smiling at these thoughts. Her phone rings bringing her out of her thoughts. She panics quickly thinking it could be Chris, but sees Allison's name come across the screen.
"Hey Allison" Sam answers the phone.
"Hi Sam. How are you?" She asks.
"I'm fine"
"Okay, so I guess I'll get to the point, the calls from Chris are coming from an encrypted cell impossible to be tracked and my guess is he keeps using a different disposable cell each time. I'll keep looking into it and use all my resources to find something, but as of right now, we have nothing" Allison tells her. Of course, I should have known. He isn't that clueless. Will they even catch him? "Sam?" She asks when Sam doesn't reply.
"Hi yeah, okay. Thanks Allison, I know you are doing everything you can just keep me informed" Sam says.
"I will and call me if he contacts you again" She requests.
"Of course. Bye Allison" Sam says, hearing a goodbye from her then hanging up the phone. Sam hears running and then sees Anna go passed her with Matthew running not that far behind.
"Whoa, there. Both of you stop right there, what's with the running? You two in a hurry to go somewhere?" Sam asks. Neither one of them stops, but they shout something about the movies and Freddie and looking up show times; and they continue upstairs. "Wait, what? You guys!" Sam calls them. Freddie walks from the kitchen. "What did you do to my kids?" Sam jokes, "The movies?"
"Okay, on my defense I never said we were going to the movies, I just suggested it and then they took off before I had the chance to ask you." He says.
"Oh you never just suggest things to kids, they always hold it against you…. Forever and ever and eveeerrr" Sam teases.
"I know, I know" Freddie says, holding his hands in front of him, playing innocent.
"So you're taking us to the movies?" She asks.
"If you allow it, my treat" He says, wrapping an arm around her waist.
"You are totally trying to buy out my kids aren't you?"
"Oh definitely, I have to get on their good side somehow, especially if I plan on sticking around and marrying their mom" He says, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind her ear.
"Ma- Marrying their mom?" Sam stutters.
"Yeah" He whispers.
"Are you- are you proposing?" Sam asks flustered.
"Oh no, the proposal will be much more romantic and totally cheesy" He laughs, "I'm asking for your permission"
"My permission for you to propose to me?" Sam asks.
"Exactly"
"I don't think it's just me you need permission from" She tells him.
"If you are talking about Matthew and Anna….. they already said yes" He says, smiling. "So it's just you" Sam smiles, a real genuine smile, and is speechless.
"Yes, of course, yes" Sam says breathless.
"Good" He smiles and kisses her, "I love you"
"I love you too" Sam says and kisses him again.
"Are you two done?" Matthew groans from the stairs. Sam and Freddie quickly break apart.
"Hi sweetie" Sam says.
"Don't even try to act like you just weren't totally lip locking a second ago so let's just get over that and how about we go to our movie?" Matthew suggests.
"Great idea" Sam says.
"Yup" Freddie agrees and they both get things together quickly and they all head out the door.
Sam drifts off to sleep at the end of a good day. They all had a great time at the movies and went out to dinner after. They felt like a family, Sam loved that. She can't help feeling happy lying in Freddie's arms, falling asleep, we're getting married. Sam thinks before she falls asleep.
Sam sleepily opens her eyes hearing her phone buzz on the nightstand. She glances at the clock 1:23am. She groans and grabs her phone.
"Hello?" Sam whispers.
"What do you think is going to happen?" The voice says.
"Chris" Sam says.
"Get out of bed, so we can talk" He tells her.
"Wha_"
"Now Sam" He threatens. Sam hesitates for a bit then quietly slips out of bed and walks into the bathroom.
"What do you want?" She asks, trying to sound confident.
"Do you really think this is going to work?" He asks.
"Enough with your games, you don't control me" Sam says.
"Man, I missed this side of you, all tough and feisty" He says, Sam can almost see the sly grin on his face, she wants to gag. "You are putting your children at risk Sam. Is that what you want?"
"Don't you dare threaten them" She snaps at him.
"You're the one causing this" He says, "If something happens to them or even him it's your fault." Sam holds the phone, unable to say anything. She hears Chris snicker at this. "I'm glad I have your attention"
"What do you want?" She asks again, but with no confidence at all this time.
"It's too late for what I want." He says.
"Chris" Sam pleads, her heart is racing now.
"I love it when you say my name like that" He says, sending chills down her spine. "I want you, Sam" Sam feels tears in eyes and her throat goes dry. "Now, tell me… do you want anything to happen to Matthew? Or Anna?"
"N—No" Sam whispers, blinking a few tears away.
"Well then maybe you should have thought of that before you betrayed me" He says.
"No Chris please don't…. I'm sorry" Sam says. "Please I_"
"Sam?" Sam turns around and sees Freddie standing in the doorway.
"Freddie" Sam chokes out. Freddie sees tears stream down her face then grabs her phone from her hand, "No Freddie don't!" She begs.
"Who is this?" Freddie demands, asking into the phone. He hears someone bitterly laugh on the other end.
"Freddie it's been a long time my friend" The man says.
"Chris" Freddie harshly says and looks at Sam.
"I hope you enjoy her while you can because you won't have her for much longer" He says and hangs up the phone.
"Damn it!" Freddie curses and throws the phone on the counter.
"Freddie, I can explain" Sam starts.
"Why didn't you wake me when he called you? Why did you answer the phone? We have to call Allison" He says rushing all his questions and words together.
"She already knows" Sam says.
"What? How can she_ This has happened before hasn't it?" Freddie says, "He called you before, that's why you were so distracted earlier, isn't it?" Sam wipes tears from her cheeks.
"Yeah" She quietly responds.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Freddie says, frustrated.
"I couldn't…. please Freddie, you hav_"
"Why couldn't you tell me?" He asks, cutting her off. "I'm supposed to protect you!"
"You don't have to protect me"
"But you were trying to protect me, right? You shouldn't have kept this from me! I'm your fiancé, practically your husband for God's sake!" He says angrily.
"I know, I know. I'm so sorry…. Please Freddie" Sam says, grabbing his arm.
"You knew about this when I asked you if you were okay, you lied to my face! And then I basically asked you to marry me and what, you didn't think that would be a good time to tell me? Chris is threating you" Freddie says. He wraps an arm around her; calming down a bit.
"No he's not. He is threating you" She says.
"Sam" He whispers.
"I told Allison and she said she is trying to track his calls. I wanted to tell you, I did, but I just didn't know. I can't- I can't live without you" Sam says, crying. Freddie pulls her into a tight hug.
"Shhhhhhh….. it's okay, you're okay. We are going to be okay" He whispers, holding her close.
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