Authors note: I'm getting great feedback from you guys and its making me want to update =] even thought I should probably be doing my history revision...ah well.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters.

Yugi had been gone all day, and the ache in my chest was becoming unbearable. It was even worse than the time when the seal of orichalcos had separated us, and that was one of my deepest moments of misery. Yugi had gone and it had been my fault. Without his light to keep me pure, I was lost, I wasn't myself. He was the other part of me and I couldn't wait for him to get home.

It hurt that Yugi still didn't forgive or trust me. But I vowed to myself that I would change that. Yugi loved me, I know he did, he didn't have to say it out loud. I could see it in his eyes, hear it when I touch him and his heart starts to pound. And even better; I could now hear his thoughts.

It was a little unfair that I could hear him but he couldn't hear me. If he could, he would understand my unwavering loyalty towards him, and how much he meant to me. How much I loved him. I just needed him to tell me, I needed him to admit it to himself, to let me in, to trust me. Fair enough that was my entire fault, but I was back now, I wasn't going anywhere, I would be with him forever. It was something I promised myself. Yugi was my reward, Yugi was my everything.

I had pretty much stayed In Yugi's bedroom all day immersing myself with everything he was. I found our deck and duel disk which brought a huge smile to my face. The cards were still the same, the same deck we had fought with all those years before. The Egyptian god cards were there. And a few of his own cards were there too. I loved how he kept the dark magician on top of his deck, our favourite card. Although those times were indeed difficult, Ra I didn't want the world to be in peril, but the adventures we got to go on were fantastic.

What startled me though was Yugi's diary. I had no idea that he had kept a diary. What was in there had shocked me and I felt huge guilt at the emotion that was poured onto the page.

Dear diary.

I miss him, I can't live without him. Yami is gone, he's never coming back and all I can think about is him. I can't move on. Every breath hurts. I miss his voice, his conversation, everything. Without Yami I feel my innocence beginning to fade. No longer do I look at the world and see goodness. No. The world is harsh and cruel. The ones you love leave you, and your friends that were already there, that stay with you, that support you, suddenly don't feel that important to me anymore. Everything is cold without Yami, and I feel myself falling into a deep pit of despair. Grandpa's history stories don't interest me anymore. Joey's jokes don't make laugh and Anzu's advice and comfort isn't working. He's in my head all the time and no matter what I try he doesn't come back. It hurts, oh god it hurts. If death is what it takes to be with you Yami then I will welcome death gladly. How can I live without the other half of me, my pharaoh, my king, my friend, my heart...Atem. I miss you, I need you, I love you, come back to me please, I can't wait till death.

Yugi

Yugi's words hurt me deep. I finally understood how he must have felt, and I realised what an arsehole I was. How could I have done this to him? He had resigned himself to the fact that I wasn't coming back and here was me sending him into even more confusion. What if he left me? What if he couldn't cope? It was obvious from that diary entry that Yugi wasn't well in the head. Ra neither was I. Watching Yugi from the afterlife living his days without me, hurt like hell, the afterlife, heaven whatever you wanted to call it, started to turn to hell, in the whiteness I saw black. I saw the blackness that was now Yugi's heart, I watched the purity of it fade. He needed me and I needed him. If he left me I was sure I would fade out of existence, and I was sure Yugi would do the same, even if he wanted to be without me. We were one body one soul, and I would make sure that we stayed together no matter what.

I turned to the clock, it was four o'clock Yugi should be home any minute. Excitement began to grow at the thought of seeing my Aibou again. I started when I heard the doorbell ring. That was odd, the shop was shut and Yugi wouldn't ring the doorbell to his own home. Maybe it was Joey coming to say hello, but surely Yugi would have come with him. I shrugged to myself and decided to go investigate.

I went down stairs and opened the front door only to find my nightmares staring back at me.

'Hey Yami'

'Anzu' I replied coldly.

She was back and looking as slutty as ever. Her blouse was undone at least four buttons down, her skirt was rolled up and her pink glossy lipstick was expertly applied.

'What are you doing here?' I asked, where was Yugi, surely he would have come with her. 'Where's Yugi?'

'Oh I'm really sorry Yami, but Yugi isn't coming home tonight' she said as if she was just commenting on the weather.

'What?' I asked startled. 'What do you mean he isn't coming home, where is he?'

'He can't cope' she said bluntly.

My worst fears were realised. Yugi couldn't cope.

'He needs a night away, you know get his head right without you crowding round him trying to force his decisions, I think he deserves that don't you?' Anzu said with a glare in her eye.

I stumbled back at her words. Were they true? Did Yugi think I was too clingy or overbearing? And what did she mean force his decisions I hadn't made him do everything.

'What do you mean force his decisions?'

'Your constant flirting Yami' she said it as if it was obvious. How did she know about that? Had Yugi told her?

'Yugi is trying to get his head together Yami, and your messing it up, he needs stability and right now you're not it.' She told me spitefully.

I was so confused, it was harmless flirting and he hadn't minded from what I had seen. The beautiful blush in his cheeks and the way he forced himself to look anywhere but at me. Those weren't signs of someone who was angry, or wanting someone to back off. But maybe I was wrong. I was wrong about the ceremonial duel, I could be wrong now. No. He had asked me to sleep with him; he had wanted me with him. Or maybe that was his way of getting his head together. I was so confused.

'Yugi is staying over at Joey's house tonight Yami' she continued on, every word she said were like spikes through my chest. 'He wanted you to know.'

'Does he want me to leave?' I whispered my heart breaking into a million pieces. Yugi didn't want me; he couldn't stand the sight of me. I had lost. Anzu had won. Yugi couldn't be with me.

Anzu paused as if she was struggling for an answer, eventually she said 'I don't think so Yami, he just needs some breathing space away from you. Right now you're messing with his head'

Messing with his head? I was struggling to breathe and my heart began to pound. I nodded my head at Anzu and began to back away.

'He said he'll see you tomorrow thought Yami' Anzu said happily as if everything was perfect.

'Well, thanks for telling me Anzu' I said.

'That's okay darling, I'll see you soon' she said sweetly.

I shut the door and made my way back upstairs to Yugi's room. I collapsed to the floor, as my heart began to come undone. I wasn't good enough for him; I hurt him, physically and mentally. I wasn't healthy for him. Maybe it would be best if I left. But then I forced myself to think. I had promised myself and him that I would never leave him no matter what. Anzu said he would see me tomorrow so I decided to sort things out then. But tomorrow was such a long way away, and the pain in my head and heart began to border on extreme. I wondered if I would survive the night without him.

'Yugi where are you!' I shouted to the room. My head was in turmoil, it hurt so much. 'Please Yugi' I whimpered again to no one in particular. 'I need you'

I sent a silent prayer to the gods that he would hear me. He had to come back. This was too much, way too much.

'I need you' I repeated again out loud. 'I love you Yugi, I love you, I love you, I love you' the words were just pouring out over and over again and I didn't realise that I had curled up in a ball and was rocking myself backwards and forwards. In that moment I was turned into a frightened child. I was no one. I had no power. No Yugi to help me, to bring me back. I was alone. Alone again, and this time there was no God to grant me my wish, my wish that Yugi would come home. Home to me, to my arms.

Hehe how much do you hate Anzu? I know it's a bit miserable and angsty but it will get better soon, promise. Please review as you now know I update a lot quicker with reviews good or bad...They motivate me. Next chapter will be Anzu's point of view probably a short one just explaining her motives. Thanks for reading guys! See you next chapter!