He could have taken a knife to her heart and it would've hurt less, she eventually found her feet and walked away. She glanced over her shoulder at Adam and Brenda who continued to suck face unaware that she had left.

She took cover in a stairwell and felt her knees buckle and she fell in a heap, tears rolled down her cheeks and her entire body trembled. She buried her face in her hands in hopes to muffle the sound of her sobs.

She was heartbroken.

She had also been given a taste of her own medicine and it was bitter.

Kim jumped up when she heard footsteps approaching, she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole when she heard him, "Ma'am, are you okay?" He asked her.

Kim cleared her throat, "Yes. Thank you. Just been a long day. I'm fine." She grabbed her purse, "excuse me." She tried to step around him.

"You don't look okay, you've been crying." He touched her elbow.

"It's nothing. Thank you." She was a bit more assertive this time and stepped around him, "Have a good one."

"You bet. I hope your day gets better."

"Me too" Kim replied on her way out.

Dick.

That was the only word that came to mind.

He was a fucking dick.

Correction two words came to mind, and it still didn't adequately describe the level of self loathing he was currently feeling.

He had done some seriously shitty things in his life but nothing came to close to what had just happened.

The walk back to his room had been agonizing but it wasn't because of his recent surgery, not in the least bit.

He wanted to puke when Brenda slipped her hand in his, he couldn't help but notice the gleam in her eye the second Kim had appeared before them. He had wanted to hurt Kim, wanted her to feel just one tenth of the hurt she had caused him.

He had done that. Kim was clearly hurt by the confrontation and it didn't feel satisfying on any level. He hated that he stood by as Brenda kept piling on, inviting her to dinner with them, then the kiss.

Fuck.

The second she slid her tongue into his mouth he knew it had gone too far but he didn't stop her, he should've stopped her. That wasn't who he was, he didn't play games with people and yet that was exactly what he was doing.

Brenda helped him into the bed, her hand on the small of his back had pulled him from his thoughts, "I'm fine." He waved her off, "I can do it myself." He was clearly agitated.

She sighed, "Why do you let her get to you?" Brenda wasn't an idiot, she had felt Adam's body tense as she kissed him, she could feel the hesitation in his kiss. She had taken an a risk, one that had a great reward but it would be crushing if it failed.

She was starting to see that it had failed.

Brenda knew she was playing with fire when she showed up at the hospital after Adam's seizure, he had made it clear he wanted nothing more from her. She couldn't resist though, and it had worked in her favor. No one else knew about their break up and everyone was concerned for Adam.

She seamlessly slipped back into the picture, she played her role perfectly. She was the terrified girlfriend, and she was scared that wasn't a lie. She was scared at how much she cared about Adam, how much she loved him.

Brenda was grasping at straws and holding on as tight as she could, and it worked. Adam had woken up and things had gone back to how they had been. He never brought up their argument, she was sure he had forgotten all about it. So she went on as if it never happened and it was smooth sailing.

She had Adam.

It wasn't perfect, but she was going to make it work. Brenda wasn't an idiot, she knew he wasn't all in like she was, he was going with the flow. She hoped in time he'd change that he'd fall in love with her. She had gone into this with no expectations, no promises of a serious commitment. That was no longer the case, she had fallen head over heels in love with him.

Then they ran into her.

It really shouldn't have surprised her, she was always with them. The elephant in the room if you will, Kim was always present.

It had smacked her in the face though, it was like having a bucket of ice dumped on your head, Adam would never really be her's.

"It's not her. It's me." Adam responded, "It was me. I fucked up, I was wrong. What we did back there was wrong." He had used her to make Kim jealous, it was obvious he had.

"Wrong?" Brenda questioned, "You did to her what she did to you. I don't think that's wrong, I think it's perfect. She deserved it. She's a bitch." She wasn't going to bite her tongue any longer, she could feel him slipping through her fingers. She knew she could lose Adam, that perhaps she already had, she had to fight for him.

"No. Don't call her names, you don't know her. Don't badmouth her" he curled his lip, "Alright? Don't even say her name." He pushed the covers off his legs, "I was pissed. I still am, but that little display was wrong. We shouldn't have done that."

Brenda felt the heat as it tore through her body, her cheeks blood red, "Do What? Kiss? Be happy? Fuck, Adam you could've died. I won't apologize for kissing you. I'm happy you're alive."

"Stop!" He threw his hands up, "Just stop it, okay? It was wrong. I wanted to make her jealous. It was a dick move. She didn't deserve it." He ran his hands over his face, "You don't either. I'm done. I can't keep doing this, I won't do this anymore. It's not fair to you. I can't do this with you, I can't be with you. I can't be with anyone."

"So that's it? We're done?" She asked him, her eyes brimming with tears, "I need you, Adam. I need us. We're good together."

She was pouring salt in a gaping wound, he had never been so disgusted with himself, "No, Brenda. We aren't. You know that. I don't love you, I will never love you. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore." He was over pretending, he was over forcing himself to move on. He didn't love the woman who had been at his side, the woman who had been helping him recover.

He was settling for her. He could never give her what she wanted and he was done pretending.

Brenda grabbed her things from the table, "You're going back to that bitch aren't you? She has your balls in her purse doesn't she? She has too, it's the only explanation for why you keeping going back to her. Why you're willing to die for her."

Adam looked at his hands, "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm not going back to Kim." He was pretty sure he had burned that bridge.

"How did she do it?" Brenda asked, absolutely bewildered by the power Kim had over Adam.

"What?"

"Your heart. How did she take hold of your heart?" Brenda wiped the lone tear from her cheek, "After all the ways she's hurt you, she still holds your heart. It's unbelievable."

"I'm sorry." Adam offered, "I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say."

"Nothing to say." Brenda glanced at him once more, "I know you'll go back to her it's just a matter of time."

Kim had doused her face with ice cold water multiple times and it made no difference her face was a mess. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, her cheeks blotchy she was an absolute mess.

Her only hope was that bullpen was empty and her colleagues were still out in the field, she didn't want to talk to anyone and she definitely didn't want to answer questions about her mood.

Sadly that wasn't the case, she could see Kevin and Jay at their desks heads down diligently working on leads.

Kim took a deep breath and took her seat, ignoring the guys as they worked. Neither seemed to notice her presence and she was thankful for that.

It had been fine and dandy until Kevin had the audacity to speak.

"Yo, Burgess. I didn't hear you come in." Kevin kicked back in his chair a file folder in his hands, it contained the mugshots of possible suspects in the case. They had a general description of a suspect leaving a bar in the wee hours of the morning.

"I am." Kim didn't lift her head to look at him, she had hoped he'd pick up on her body language and move on.

He didn't.

"We've got this description and it's so fucking generic. Half the men in Chicago fit the description. I'm hoping you got something out of the girls." Kevin tossed the file on the desk, "Maybe you could go back and talk to them. We need more to go on."

Kim massaged her temples, "No."

"No? You won't go or no you don't think they'll have anything to add. You can show them some of those" He thumbed over his shoulder at the file on his desk.

"No. Kevin. No I will not call them. No I will not go to the hospital, I spent all day there. If you wanna know, how about you take your dumbass down to the hospital and you ask them yourselves." She angrily tossed her pen in a drawer.

"Woah..someone's pissy." Kevin muttered.

"Fuck you Kevin." Kim's tone was icy and her glare left Kevin unsettled, maybe even a little scared.

She was gone in a flash.

Halstead was clearly perplexed at the exchange, "What the hell just happened?" He wasn't surprised by her display of anger, he knew she had it in her. He had seen her angry, it was always directed at a suspect.

"I don't know." Kevin turned around to face, "her face was kinda puffy, like she'd been crying. Did you see it?"

Jay shrugged, "I did. Definitely looked liked she'd been crying. You should go talk to her, she's pretty angry."

"Me?" Kevin placed his hands on his chest, "No thank you. I like my head where it is thanks. I think she needs to cool off."

Kim was searching the cabinets in the break up, her hands still trembled from the encounter. Not with Kevin, but with Adam and Brenda. Poor Kevin was in the wrong place at the wrong time and had said the wrong thing. Though she was pretty sure it didn't matter what he had said, she was going to blow her top regardless.

She needed coffee.

As she waited for the coffee to brew she was overcome with another wave of sadness, her knees buckled and she dropped down to sit on the floor.

"Fuck." Kevin groaned, "I can't wait. I need to know what's going on. Send help if I don't come out in a few minutes."

"Godspeed Kev" Jay smirked, "It was nice knowing you."

"Hey Burgess.." Kevin crouched in front of her, "I'm sorry." He hated to see her so distraught.

Kim wiped her eyes, "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Jay took advantage Kevin's absence and took a much needed break, he ran his hand across the back of his neck and groaned when his phone rang.

"Halstead" Jay answered it.

Adam pushed himself up further in the bed, "Hey man. It's me." He'd been on edge since the morning, he had tried to push it from his mind but it was impossible. So he caved and decided to check in with Halstead.

He wanted no part of Atwater in this situation. Kevin had been pretty neutral for the most part, but Adam knew he'd be pissed at him.

Adam didn't blame him, he was pissed with himself.

"Ruz! How's it going? Surgery go okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. I get to go home soon. I'm calling about Kim. Is she okay? I saw her this morning and it was a little ugly. She okay?" Adam rattled on. "Is she at the 21st? Is she working?"

Jay sighed, "Kim's here. She's a mess, Ruz. Bit Atwater's head off and stormed out of the bullpen. She looked like she had been crying." He got up from his desk and stuck his head in the hallway, "Kevin's with her now."

"Fuck" Adam muttered, "I was a dick." He hated that he had made her cry.

"You want me to have Kevin call you when he's done talking to her?" Jay asked.

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose, "No. I'm pretty sure he's not going to like me once Kim tells him what happened. He's gonna want to kick my ass." He sighed, "I gotta go. Keep an eye on Kim for me man. Make sure she's okay."

"Of course. You don't have to ask."

"I don't know why I'm upset." Kim allowed Kevin to pull her up from the floor and they both sat at the table, "I moved on. Twice. I shouldn't be shocked that he moved on. It's a bit hypocritical of me, isn't it? I did the same thing to him."

Kevin ran his finger over a crack in the table, "You did. It sucked too, you broke his heart. It was ugly no doubt, but that shit he pulled this morning? That was just as bad."

"Maybe, but I deserved it." Kim leaned back in the chair, "That smug look on Brenda's face will be forever ingrained in my mind's eye. I want Adam to be happy and if Brenda is the person to do it? Great. I will tell you this, if she hurts Adam I will break her legs. He's been hurt enough."

Kevin liked the fire he saw in Kim's eyes, it was clear she still had feelings for Adam. Strong ones, her hatred of Brenda was proof of that.

"If I didn't know better I'd say you were jealous, Burgess" Kevin teased, he reached across the table and grabbed her hand, "It's all going to work out. You'll see."

He pushed his dinner away from him, he was sick to his stomach. He had tried to eat it, only to gag on the first bite. His stomach was still a bit sensitive and it wasn't all that unusual for him to be left without an appetite.

He had hoped to go home in the morning only for the doctor to push it back a few days, he wanted to give it a few more days. He wanted to make sure the graft took before he sent Adam home.

Initially Adam had talked the doctor into the early release date and he was furious when the doctor reneged on the deal.

Adam groaned when he heard the door open, he had already chewed out the night nurse and he was prepared to do it again. He wanted to be left alone, yet they insisted on coming in every hour.

He was surprised to see Brenda at the foot of his bed, "Brenda..."

She held her hand up, "It's my turn to talk. I was stupid to fall in love with you. You'll never love me, I realize that now. You're carrying a torch for that bitch." She folded her arms across her chest, "you'd do anything for her, even give your life for hers" she chuckled, "it's kinda funny to be honest, you'd do all that for her and what does she do in return?"

"You done?" Adam asked her. This was ridiculous. He had no idea why she was at the foot of his bed, he had made himself clear.

He wanted nothing to do with her.

"No." Brenda snapped, "You're an idiot. You're fucking clueless. That bitch doesn't care about you, she's so gullible. It's not even funny."

Adam caught the flicker of regret as it flashed across Brenda's face, she had slipped up. Said more than she had planned on, he sat up in bed "What does that mean? What the fuck did you do?"

"Nothing." She sputtered, "Forget it" She turned to leave.

Adam jumped out of bed as quickly as he could, ignoring the searing pain in his leg as he chased after her, "What did you do?" He seethed, his jaw was clenched and his eyes dark with angry, he grabbed her wrist.

"Fuck it." Brenda spit, "I told her to get out. I told her you hated her. I told that bitch to stay away from you and guess what? She listened. She bought every word of it. It was so fucking easy."

Adam let go of her arm, "Get out! Get the fuck out."

Sorry for the delay in updating, as the story draws to an end it's becoming increasingly difficult to wrap it up. I'm not all that happy with this chapter and have gone over it more than a dozen times, hopefully it's half way decent to read.