Author's note: I'm sorry if I sounded rude in the last note concerning questions or negative comments. I had a little bit of a tough time with another fic and anons giving me negative comments without me having a chance to try to defend myself over it. I don't mind any of you being anon and asking questions about this fic. If one person is confused about something, maybe more people are and they just didn't know how to ask. In which case, I can answer in this lovely note.

Anyway, I think we're nearing the end of this. Just a few more chapters. And then I will start prep work on the new Smythofsky which won't actually start until November as I have decided it will be my National Novel Writing Month venture unless something else comes to mind.

So, happy reading!

Chapter Ten

"So, do neither of you have anything to say?" Dr. Earnest Gladstone asked after they had sat there in silence for a long time.

"I'm trying to wait Sebastian out." Laird said. "He hasn't spoken to me in days and it's because he's being petty."

"Petty? Really?" Sebastian said. He shook his head. "You're the one who still harbors delusions that my life is a phase. It's not a 'life choice' like you always seem to think it is."

"You're a teenager. You don't know what you want. You're just playing."

"And when did you go through your gay phase, Dad? Huh?"

"That's not what this is about."

"Right."

"I want you to be happy, Sebastian."

"And what does that mean to you?" Dr. Gladstone asked the young man.

"I was happy. It took me a while to get there, but I was happy." He looked down at his hands, twisting them in his lap. "I struggled for a long time to come to terms with who I am. I was a jerk to you and to a lot of people for a long time. And then I just threw myself around because I wanted to make you mad. I knew you were under the impression then as now that I was just going through a 'gay phase' so I wanted to rub your face in it.

"When I met Dave, that all changed. I started feeling for the first time that what you said wasn't true. I'm gay because that's just who I am, not because I'm trying to make you mad or embarrass you. He saved me from myself. And I love him."

Dr. Gladstone asked, "Laird, anything to say to that?"

"I had hoped that his suicide attempt would change your mind." Laird said.

Sebastian put his face in his hands. "God, why can't you get it through your head? I'm not going to change." He looked hard at his father. "And you want to know something else? I thought about killing myself before, too. Because if I couldn't please you, it wasn't worth it to live. And I know you don't, but when I thought you blamed me for Mom's death, I couldn't stand that either. Dave trying this broke everything inside me. If he hadn't made it, I don't know what I would have done." He leaned his head on the back of the couch. "I love him. And I want to be with him for as long as we work out. And I would really like it if you would at least try to accept that."

Laird sat silently, staring at his son.

"Sebastian, that was very insightful." Dr. Gladstone said.

Sebastian looked up and let out a short laugh. "Right."

"Laird?"

He looked at his son critically, "Everything you do makes me proud. I just don't understand it and I haven't for a long time. I had hoped you would be more into sports, but it's music. And being non-musical myself, I can't fully comprehend the joy you get out of it."

"But you're not proud I'm gay."

His father took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I like Dave. He's a good guy."

"Can you please work on this?"

"Yes, I'll try."

"Good! Very good!" Dr. Gladstone said. He looked at his watch. "Okay, our time is up for the week. Amazing breakthroughs today. Think about them until next time." He stood and walked them to the door. "See you next week."

Sebastian hurried out and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He tapped out a text, "Dad still being an ass." And sent it to Dave.

It took a while to get a reply. They were almost home by the time his phone went off in his pocket. "Sorry for slow response. My Dad is filtering texts for now. You're safe."

"Block all numbers but mine and his. We're the only ones who matter."

"lol. You are."

"How do you feel?"

"Better. Moving me to "behavioral" ward soon. Just being nice. Mental ward. Trying to get in my head about what happened. Make sure it won't happen again."

"I hope it doesn't. Can I come visit?"

"Please. I'm bored out of my mind."

"Not enough ESPN?"

"lol. Get your ass over here. I miss you. More visitor restriction in the other place."

"On my way, baby." He got out of his dad's car and headed to his own.

"Where are you going? It's almost time for supper."

"I need to go see my boyfriend." He got into his car and drove off without another word.

Paul looked up from his newspaper when Sebastian walked in. He stood and patted Dave's shoulder. "I'm going for coffee. You need anything?"

Dave shook his head.

He leaned down and kissed his son's forehead.

Sebastian walked in as Paul walked out. He leaned over Dave and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Hi."

He smiled. "Hi."

"You look good."

"So do you." He pulled Sebastian in for another kiss. "Tell me about your dad."

He sat down in Paul's vacated chair with a sigh. "Just being his usual close-minded self. Thinking that I'm going through a tough time. That one day I'll get married to a normal woman and have a normal life with normal kids and a normal career."

"You okay?"

He shrugged. "Did I ever tell you I thought about it too? Ending it?"

"You did?" Dave asked softly.

Sebastian nodded. "Several times. I never got up enough guts to actually try it. And I worried how the Warblers would go on without me." He attempted his cocky grin, but it was sad. "When I started dating you, I found those desires melting away. It finally felt right. And I was angry that you would ever try this."

"It was all just too much all at once. Everyone was texting and writing on my wall… And I snapped. And it was a teammate that started it. If you can't trust your team, who can you trust?"

Sebastian wiped an escaping tear from his eye. "Me. You can trust me."

"You're not there every day."

"I could be."

"No, you can't let the Warblers down for me. It's your team. They're counting on you. This is your last year anyway."

Sebastian leaned forward and grabbed Dave's hand. "Get better. I can't lose you."

"I don't want to be lost. I'm sorry I was selfish."

Sebastian kissed his hand. "I love you."

"I love you." Dave said softly.

Sebastian hung out for an hour until he was kicked out. Visiting hours were drawing to a close and there was still a lot that needed to happen before his move to the behavioral unit.

Sebastian kissed Dave softly before he left. "I'll come by tomorrow."

"Okay. I don't think they'll let me have my phone in there. Dad's going to have it though, so if you text, keep it PG."

"You know I always keep it PG."

Dave laughed. "Right. I'll make sure Dad sends you the visiting hours when we know for sure. I don't want you to come all the way here and not be able to see me."

"Okay." He kissed him again. "I love you. And I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

He squeezed Dave's hand and bid farewell to Paul. He left the hospital and drove home slowly. He didn't want to face his dad. But he knew he had to at some point.

Laird was in his office when Sebastian got home. He poked his head out when he heard his son walk by. "How is David?"

"Better. They're putting him in the behavioral unit."

He nodded. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"About earlier…I really have been trying to wrap my head around it." He swallowed and said, "I just really want grandchildren. Ever since you were born, I've envisioned a daughter-in-law and grandchildren."

"I can still give you grandchildren. It will just take some science and a lot more time than the 'conventional' way that you dreamed."

"Kids need a mother."

"You think that's what went wrong with me? You think I should have had a mother? Why didn't you ever remarry?"

"No woman has ever made me feel the way your mom did." He shrugged. "I guess as long as there are two parents in the house…I still have my dream. But I suppose you have your own. I just want you happy, like I said when we were in the session."

"I know."

He surprised his son by pulling him into his arms. "I love you, Sebastian. I have from the moment your mom told me she was pregnant. I'll try to shift my dreams for you. I want to keep mending this." He held him at arms-length. "I hope your boyfriend gets better."

"Thank you, Dad. I love you, too."