Hey guys! Sorry, but I'm going on a short vacation, but I will be back soon! Prepare for some buttkicking in this chapter!
Disclaimer: Mage of Hope doesn't own South Park series, only the OCs!
The Starfires stood in front of the school, which was being raided by the Humans and Elves, who were too busy to notice them. Ricky turned to face her army and shouted, "Alright, screw the fight speech! Are you ready?! For honor!"
"For shopping!" one of the girls shouted.
"For vengenace!"
"For revenge!"
"For everything!"
"I feel like such a homo sapien right now," muttered Michael.
"Blow our war horn, Annie the Fantastic!" commanded Ricky.
"Okay!" Annie pulled out a horn that was sparkled in pink glitters and blew a tune.
"Everyone, into the front! Goth Kids, Wendy the Warrior Princess, Bebe the Beauty, and Rebecca the Ruthful! Come with me to the back! CHARGE!"
Afterwards, everyone charged and obeyed their commands. The Humans, who were still trying to fight against the Elves who were blocking their entrance inside, stopped and saw a large horde of girls towards their way. "What the hell?"
Before they could question anything more, they were soon overrunned by the large amount of girls and many boys were defeated. A few were lucky to escape. The girls took satisfaction beating up the boys and in two minutes, some of the hallways were conquered by the girls.
Ricky was leading her group into the back and managed to sneak inside the school, where a lot of 'dead' Elves and Humans laid on the ground. Ricky had upgraded her clothing and weapons, making her wear dark blue clothing with a dark cloak, brown boots, and a brown headband with fake jewels on it, indicating it was a crown. As for her weapons, she kept her wooden dagger just in case, bought a couple of throwing knives, and even got her own crossbow.
The Goth Kids didn't wear much armors, but they did have some weapons. As for Wendy, she still kept her pink hat, but had pink armor on, a pink flower shield, and a sword.
Bebe wore a green hairband, wore a red tunic, a purple cape, and was wielding a spear for combat. Rebecca wore no helmet or hairband, but had dark armor on along with purple gloves and a sword and shield.
"King fatass and Kyle are here somewhere!" said Ricky, examining around only to spot more Elves and Humans were still fighting, but there were a few of them active right now. "Attack!"
Ricky's group charged at the other two sides, forcing them to stop and be surprised by the unexpected group. "Hey, is that your group?" asked an Elf.
"I thought they were yours!" said a Human. Then, in a matter of seconds, they were tackled and beaten to the ground by Rebecca and Wendy. "Oww..."
Ricky brought her daggers down at a long bladed Elf wielder, who had absolutely no idea what was going on. Ricky began striking at all directions at rapid speed, soon taking down the blade wielder and tiring him out. She kicked him in the stomach and proceeded to fight another Human or Elf.
Despite not having any real life fighting experience, the Goth Kids were surprisingly good at fighting, especially Firkle, who used his small size and speed to gang up on a single, big-boned Human. Pete used a hockey stick to slam the enemies' legs and feet so hard, they would fall to the ground with ease. Michael wielded a baseball bat and didn't do anything but text in his phone unless an enemy came by. Henrietta had just finished off a Human, and one of the enemies decided to fight back, despite the odds in battle, but backed away as soon as Henrietta threatened to use a flamethrower on him. How she got that, nobody knew.
Bebe finished off most of the enemy by swinging her spear around, hitting the boys with the spear in different areas, especially the part between the legs where they're most vulnerable. They were just lucky that Bebe never used the spear point...at least, not yet.
"This hallway is cleared! Let's go!" ordered Ricky as she ran forward. The others followed her after, cheering over their victory except for the goth kids. Eventually, they arrived in the basement, where there might be Elves or Humans in hiding.
"Wait, what's that?" asked Michael, pointing to a hallway monitor, who was on the ground and winching in pain with a paled look on his face.
"Help...please..." moaned the ginger kid.
"What should we do?" wondered Wendy.
"Obvious! We have to tear this kid apart!" said Bebe, getting out her weapon.
"No, wait!" said Ricky. "First of all, I know the hallway monitors aren't part of this game! Even if he's a boy, he looks badly injured! Let's see what he has to say."
"Wait, I recognize that guy! He's Gary Nelson!' pointed out Rebecca.
"Be careful! He can still bust us for not having hall passes!" warned Bebe as Ricky helped him lean against the wall.
"Bebe, we're not in school hours! Besides, you really think this kind of situation needs hall passes?" questioned Ricky before turning to the ginger kid. "What happened?"
"We came to school the morning after the earthquake to report for duty," coughed the ginger boy. "We didn't know school had been cancelled. We heard a sound from down here, found this green goo. It was everywhere. It...changed the other hallway monitors."
Ricky knew what that meant and groaned. "Oh no! Please tell me you didn't drink it!"
"Yes...we wanted to see what it was, but it was a bad mistake!"
"Well, it kinda serves you right for being a pansy ass hallway monitor in the first place," said Bebe.
"Bebe!" scolded Ricky as the ginger boy stood up slowly and started walking away, sounds of his bones cracking were heard.
"Something in the goo...it...IT..." Then, the ginger boy turned around, his skin completely green, and he spoke angrily in German.
"AAAAAH! Somehow that green goo makes hallway monitors even lamer!" screamed Rebecca as she ran off.
"What is he?" wondered Wendy, scared.
"He's a Nazi Zombie now! He drank that green goo which turned him into this!" said Ricky, taking out her crossbow. "And now, we have no choice but to kill him. I wish there was-"
BANG! Everyone jumped in surprise and saw the Nazi Zombie dead with a bullet in his head. They all turned to Bebe, who was holding a handgun.
"Served you right for giving me a detention slip, bitch."
"...Whoa," said Pete.
"...I don't...I don't know where you got the gun, and I don't wanna know," said Ricky, shaking her head. "There might be more Nazi Zombies, so we have to be careful."
"Oh, that's easy," replied Bebe, smirking. "I can handle them with ease. Especially what they did to me."
In another hallway...
"Take that, drow elf!"
"I won't lose to you, Human!"
"Ha! Almost got you!"
"Take-" Before more of the Elves and Humans could fight anymore, a group of five girls arrived in the battlefield, wielding weapons and armor. The leader of the temporary group was Lola the Accessory Mistress. Lola happened to tie her long brown hair into a ponytail with a pink hairband holding it up, grey armor with a breastplate in the middle, a green skirt, and she wielded an axe and shield.
One of the Humans laughed and walked towards Lola. "Oh? Girls playing? Nice try! Why don't you run home to your Mommies and play d-"
Before the Human could finish, Lola angrily kicked him right between the legs and finished him off by hitting him with the back of her axe, knocking him out. "Death to all that oppose us!"
"HUZZAH!" The other four girls roared before charging towards the stunned and shocked Elves and Humans. A blond haired girl managed to tackle an Elf and punched him several times, giving him bruises on the face. Another girl tripped a few Humans with her long lance and began hitting them with it, causing them to grunt and groan in pain. The other girls used their martial arts techniques they were taught by their Empress against the boys, who had no experience in martial arts.
Lola tackled the last Elf to the ground and pinned him there with her axe. "Surrender your men, ugly!"
"Have you girls lost your minds?!"
"SURRENDER YOUR MEN, DAMNIT!"
"Alright! Alright! We surrender!" After hearing the Elf say that, the remaining Elves and even the Humans still conscious, raised their arms and dropped their weapons, surrendering under the wrath of the girls.
"We did it! We did it!" The girls cheered.
Another part of the hallways...
Milly the Fantastic Nancy Drew and her group of girls had just finished off a small group of Humans and were heading towards another hallway, which was filled of Humans fighting off the Elves. Milly, the leader of the group, wore a wizard's hat with a pink ribbon, some green robes, and a staff to complete her transformation.
"YAAAAAAAAAA!" The girls yelled, charging towards the boys. Their own battle cries were louder than the boys, making them all stop and turn to see some girls charging at them.
"Get them!"
"Stain the walls with their blood!"
"Uh...what are they doing?" one of them wondered. His question was answered when the girls started attacking them, taking them down one by one with ease and making the boys panic and lose their cool as they were being beaten by girls.
"Aaah! We're being attacked by girls!"
"This can't be hap-GAH!"
"Wait, is that a Raisin girl? Oh, hey-AAH!"
Princess Kenny happened to be wandering around when suddenly, one of the girls fired an arrow from her bow, hitting Kenny and making him stick to the wall as blood oozed from his head.
"Oh my God! They killed Princess Kenny!" one of the Elves pointed out.
"You bas-oh wait. I can't say that. My Mom will ground me," said an Human before both he and the Elf were taken down.
"Dude, what do we do?!" exclaimed a Human, panicking to his other friend.
"Run for your life, man!" As the two of them ran, they were confronted by two girls, who tackled them to the ground and farted on their faces, causing them to scream. Girls weren't supposed to fart on boys' faces, and if they did, well it was bad.
"We conquered this area!" announced Milly. "Let's go to the next one!"
"HUZZAH!"
A bit later...
"Take this, Butters the Merciful!" shouted Stan, clashing blades with his rival, Butters the Merciful. Both were equally skilled in battle and in skills, and now, even though there were no other Elves or Humans besides them, this battle was going to determine who was the best.
"So, we meet again, sir Stan! Let this battle determine who is the strongest out of the two of us!" said Butters, wielding his hammer before swinging it at Stan, who blocked it with his long blade. Both continued to fight each other when the doors slammed open, revealing Ricky and her group.
Butters and Stan paused their fight to stare at the group, surprised. "Wendy?!" exclaimed Stan, unable to comprehend the fact that his girlfriend was involved in this fight.
"Hi Stan!" cheered Wendy before her happy look turned into a sinister one. "Bye Stan!~"
"Charge! Show no mercy!" yelled Ricky. Both Butters and Stan were forced to take a defensive position and fend for themselves as Ricky and her group charged to fight the two warriors.
"Holy shit, dude!" cried out Stan, knocking back Michael. "Wendy! What's going on?!" He had to block a blow from Firkle and Pete.
"Step aside!" ordered Wendy, causing the Goth Kids to back away from Stan. "Sorry, Stan. This is payback for ripping my new dress that one time!"
"It was just last week! It was an accident! And I'm sorry!"
"You should have said that! You could have stopped running for a second and apologized!"
"I was chasing a Human! I didn't know you were going to be in the way!"
That caused Wendy to become angry, but she calmed down for a second. "Alright. If you're really sorry, then come here so I can give you a kiss on the peck."
"Okay." Stan walked over to Wendy and pressed his cheek forward. Unexpectedly, Wendy slapped him so hard, he fell to the ground with a large red mark and groaned in pain. She then kicked him in the stomach before planting a kiss on his cheek.
"There. Now you're forgiven."
Meanwhile, Bebe, Rebecca, and Ricky were ganging up on Butters, who was screaming and trying to defend with his hammer, not sure what was going on. "Take this! You and the other boys can go straight to Hell!" yelled Bebe, slamming her spear against the hammer.
"This is for ruining my favorite hairband you sons of bitches!" cried out Rebecca, striking with her weapon.
While Butters was defending, he got out a radio and pressed a button. "Grand Wizard! Grand Wizard! I'm-I'm being attacked!"
Cartman's voice went through the radio. "Butters, I'm sure you can handle a couple of Elves."
Ricky realized he had a radio and said, "He's got a radio! He's trying to call for backup! Destroy it!"
"You don't understand, Eric! They-" Ricky threw a throwing knife at the radio, making it stick to the wall and thus deactivating it. "WAAH!"
"Sorry for this, Butters. No offense," apologized Ricky before throwing a punch at Butters so strong, it knocked him out. "This area is cleared! Let's move!"
Wendy, who had just finished beating up her boyfriend, said, "Yes, ma'am! Sorry, Stan. We're still boyfriend and girlfriend."
After watching Wendy beat up Stan, Pete said, "Whoa. That was pretty cool."
"Yeah, that was pretty cool," agreed Michael.
"Totally," said Henrietta.
"Awesome," said Firkle.
Later, in the fourth grade class...
Kyle and his own group of Elves entered the fourth grade classroom, where Cartman, Token, and Tweek were located, trying to find the Stick of Truth. "Back away from the desk, Wizard fatass!" shouted Kyle.
"The Stick doesn't belong to stupid Jews like you, Kyle!" shouted back Cartman.
"That's it! You're going down, one way or another!"
"Oh, you wanna throw down, brah? Bring it on! Let this be our final battle!" Cartman readied his staff and hat before taking a fighting position, while Kyle did the same.
Before they could charge at each other, an injured Elf and Human came rushing in, despite them being enemies. "My lord! My lord!" The Elf cried out.
"Goddamnit, what is it now?!" demanded Cartman. "What could be so goddamn important that you had to interrupt the final, epic battle between Elf and Human?!"
"It's-it's terrible! We were all fighting each other, when suddenly, a third kingdom came!" explained the Human.
"...What?" asked Kyle.
"It's true!" agreed the Elf. "And more news, they're GIRLS!"
"Girls?"
"Wait a second, the only girl in this game is Lady Whore!" said Cartman, turning to the two. "You must be mista-"
"Don't call her that, fatass!" interrupted Kyle angrily. "Her name's Frederica, or Ricky for short! Not Lady Whore!"
"Nuh uh! She belongs to my kingdom, Kyle! And since I rule over her, I get to name her!"
"No you don't, fatass!"
"That's the thing, my lord!" said the Elf. "You see, the leader-GAH!" Both he and the other Human were knocked down by Rebecca and Bebe, who entered the room afterwards. Then, Ricky entered in the center, and soon, Wendy and the Goth Kids also entered.
Kyle and Cartman were surprised to see them. "Ricky?" wondered Kyle, breaking the silence.
"That's EMPRESS Ricky to you, ugly!" shouted Rebecca.
"Oh sweet! You got the Goth Kids!" cheered Cartman. "Now, Lady Whore, go finish off Kyle, and you shall be rewarded!"
"Oh no! The Goth Kids are on my side! Isn't that right, Ricky?" asked Kyle.
"No, they belong to my kingdom!"
"No, mine!"
"Mine!"
"MINE!"
While the two of them were arguing, Ricky sighed and turned to her group. "You might want to cover your ears on this one." Once everyone put on their earplugs, Ricky went towards the chalkboard, pulled out her dagger, and started making scratches on the chalkboard, making squeaky sounds that forced everyone else besides the Starfires to cover their ears.
"Oh God! My ears!"
"Ow!"
"It hurts!"
Afterwards, Ricky said, "The Goth Kids belong to ME. As in, I have formed a new and improved kingdom which resists both the Humans, and the Elves. We call ourselves...the Starfires."
"You mean like from Teen Titan?" asked Kyle.
Cartman started laughing. "Yeah, how original of you, Lady Whore. Now just hand over the Go-"
Before Cartman could finish, Ricky kneeled him in the gut so hard, he fell to his knees, grunting in pain. "And that's another thing! My name is not 'Lady Whore!' It's Ricky! Empress Ricky to be exact! Express Ricky, Queen of Stealth!"
"Wow...she's more amazing when she's kicking fatass's butt..." sighed Kyle, completely head over heels with her. Then, he remembered what position he was in and snapped out of it. "And what is of this third kingdom?"
"It's full of girls," explained Ricky. "With a few exceptions. We vow vengeance against all the boys that have constantly beat us up before we even joined the game, and we're doing it now! And for my next victim, Wizard Fatass is next!"
"'Ey!" shouted Cartman, getting up. "Don't call me fat-"
"I'm calling you fat because it's true, fatass!"
"That is no way to address to your king, goddamnit!"
"What king? I don't serve you anymore, thus that means I can call you anything I want!"
"Goddamnit, there is no third kingdom! Now come to my side once more so that I may forgive you for your absence, peasant!" yelled Cartman.
"Okay, let me make myself clear, fatass," said Ricky, trying to stay as calm as possible. "You're a loser. I don't mean that as a compliment, I mean that as an insult to your fat, plump face. Kyle, you're a king who's way nicer than fatass, but can't control your men when they torture their victims just for information."
"Um..."
"Cartman, you're a giant thorn in everyone's side and constantly annoys them, especially me. You'll probably end up in jail in a few years because you have no life."
"Well, you don't have to be so rude about it, Lady Who-"
"AND MY NAME IS RICKY," spoke Ricky angrily and slowly. "And one more thing, fatass. You are the single, most worthless, selfish human being I've ever met. Congrats."
Cartman was growing more and more angry with each word she said. "Why you mother f-"
"Say anything more, and I swear to God I will eat your fingers off." Ricky got into a fighting stance and faced Cartman.
"Yeah! Get him, Empress!" cheered Wendy.
"Knock his socks off!" shouted Bebe.
"Can you leave a piece of him for me?" requested Rebecca.
"Yeah! Get him!" cheered Kyle.
"You're next after him, Kyle!" said Ricky.
"What'd I do?!"
"Remember the raping part?"
"...Oh yeah."
"Oh, you mother fucker! I knew you were a whore!" shouted Cartman before foolishly charging forward. Once he got close enough, Ricky punched him straight in the face, knocking him down on the ground as everyone watched.
"Ha! I've been waiting far too long to do this!" said Ricky before kicking him in the stomach, hard. She continued kicking him over and over with her full on rage until Cartman managed to grab her leg and bring her down. Before he could get up, Ricky bit his arm as deep as she could.
"AAAAAAHHH! MY ARM! STUPID BITCH! GET OFF OF ME!" screamed Cartman, whacking her on the head with his staff. Ricky refused to let go and punched Cartman in the stomach as both were struggling.
"Yeah! Rip his arm off!" cheered Bebe. Cartman feared for that and farted so hard, it filled the entire room in a matter of seconds, causing Ricky to pull back and cover her nose.
"Ugh! Gross!" said Rebecca, covering her nose. One of the elves opened the window, causing some of the nasty stench to leave.
"Goddamnit, you are disgusting, Fatass!" cried out Ricky before she started punching him repeatedly in all directions. Cartman was forced to defend with his staff, but several of the punches got through and mostly hit his face. She then kicked him straight between the legs, causing him to fall to the ground.
"OOHHHH!" everyone cried out, winching in pain.
Cartman was laying on the ground and realized the position Ricky was in. "Oh no, not there!" Cartman quickly covered his private parts with his hands, but Ricky kicked them aside before quickly kicking him between the legs.
"Ouch. What I would give to not be him," said an Elf. Ricky kept on kicking him between the legs over and over, each blow being more powerful than the last as Cartman cried and groaned in pain. She kept on hitting, over and over, and over and over.
"Please, not-GAH! Anything-AAH!" Ricky's anger started to decrease with each kick, and soon, her kicking started to stop about a few minutes later, and Cartman was laying flat on the ground, crying in pain and unable to move for a while.
"I'm...I'm finished!" panted Ricky. "The Wizard King has been defeated!"
"HURRAY!" The Starfires cheered.
"That means the Elves win!" cheered Kyle. Ricky went over to him, punched him, then kicked him straight between the legs with all of her strength, shocking the elves.
"You didn't...you didn't think I forgot about you...didn't you...?" panted Ricky before walking towards the Starfires, who gave her a water bottle. As soon as she recovered her breath, she knew Kyle and Cartman were defeated, and the remaining enemies have been defeated. "The evil wizard and Elf king both have been defeated! Goth kids! Take the stick from Cartman's desk!"
"YAY!" cheered the girls.
"Victory is ours!"
As soon as the Goth kids reached the desk, Pete realized something. "Hey, wait a minute. Our desks don't have insides."
It was as if time stopped. "W-what?" asked Ricky.
"Desks at this school just have tabletops," explained Michael.
"But, I thought Twitter said-"
"Look over here! This desk has writing on it!" pointed out Henrietta, pointing to a broken desk next to her.
"'Check my locker,'" read Pete.
"Who's desk is that?" wondered Ricky.
"That's...that's Clyde's desk," answered Kyle, regaining conscious. As soon as Cartman and some other warriors recovered, everyone went straight to Clyde's locker, opened it, and pulled out a laptop, where the screen showed Clyde in a new dark armor.
More importantly, he was holding the Stick of Truth.
"Greetings, humans and drow elves of Zaron!" announced Clyde.
Kyle and everyone else was surprised. "Clyde!"
"Hey, he's the guy Cartman banished!" said Ricky, recognizing him.
"He took the stick!" said Cartman angrily.
"While you have all been busy fighting amongst yourselves, I have built a kingdom beyond your comprehension! I prayed for a way to destroy you all and the solution came crashing down from the heavens!" Clyde showed the kids a crate full of the green goo and a dead cat.
"Oh no, it's more of that green stuff!" complained Ricky.
"With what I have found, I will raise an army of the dead!" Clyde poured some of the green goo into the cat, who was somehow revived, and its skin turned green. It started speaking German and went away as Clyde put on a dark crown. "I shall raise an entire army of darkness and kill the Earth!"
"Clyde, but why?" wondered Stan.
"I banished him to be lost in space and time and now he's all pissed off," explained Cartman.
Ricky grew mad. "So it was your fault then!"
"So you see, fools, I control the stick AND the future of the Earth!"
"Clyde, you want a sandwich?" A man's voice called out.
"Not right now, Dad. I'm making a ruler of darkness video. Anyways, whoever controls the Stick controls the universe. And my first deed is that I herby DENOUNCE the human and the elf kingdoms! And strip BOTH kings of their power! HAHAHAHAAHA!"
As soon as the video ended, everyone was left speechless. "...MOTHER FUCKER!" yelled Cartman.
At Clyde's house...
As soon as Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Ricky, Wendy, Butters, and Kenny arrived at Clyde's house, Cartman knocked on the door. Clyde's Dad opened it and saw them. "Oh, hello kids!"
"CAN WE SPEAK TO CLYDE PLEASE?!" demanded Cartman.
"Oh, Clyde's out playing in the backyard with his little friends." After hearing him say that, everyone pushed past Clyde's Dad and entered the backyard, where they were once again, left speechless when they saw a huge tower of darkness in Clyde's backyard.
"...Holy shit, dude," spoke Ricky.
On top of the tower was Clyde, who glanced down at his enemies. "Come and get it, losers! HAHAHAHAAH!"
"You can't do that, Clyde! You're lost in time and space!" yelled Cartman.
"No I'm not!"
"YEAH YOU ARE ASSHOLE!"
"Army of Darkness, defend the fortress!" After Clyde's command was heard, a large army of kids started appearing from the fortress and covered it completely. Most were Vamp Kids, and each one of them were powerful. Heck,even Craig stood by Clyde's side.
Cartman was shocked to see one of his trusted men with Clyde and yelled, "Craig? Craig, you're on my side!"
"You don't have authority anymore. The keeper of the stick said so."
"See? This is what happens when you disrespect your allies," said Ricky.
"This can't be happening," gasped Stan.
"GODDAMNIT I HAVE FUCKING AUTHORITAH!"
"Sorry warriors and wizard!" called Clyde. "I'd love to invite you in to my fortress of darkness, but I'm afraid you're TOO LATE!"
"Too late? What do you mean we're too late?" asked Stan, confused.
"Yeah, too late for what?" wondered Ricky.
"There you are, Butters!" yelled Mr. Scotch as he and his wife came over. "Do you know what time is it, mister?! It is WAY past your bedtime!"
Everyone else remembered in realization what time it was. "Oh shit, it's past our bedtime?!"
"Dude, I'm gonna get it!" said Kyle before everyone returned home.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Clyde's Dad entered outside and called out, "Clyde, it's past your bedtime!"
"AHAHAHA! Okay, coming Dad! AHAHAHAHA!"
Whew! Well, I'll be taking my vacation soon, so until then, stay gold!