Tony stared at the clock on the wall, wondering how much longer it was going to be before his doctor released him. His patience was wearing as thin as the sheet that covered his body and his anger was bubbling close to the surface; he had things that he needed to do and he was wasting precious time lying in a hospital bed while Captain Waters was more than likely plotting his next move. How many other people were going to be hurt before Waters was stopped? Tony knew that if had any say in the matter, no one else would suffer because of Waters' personal vendetta against him; the only exception would be Waters himself and the detective would take great pleasure in introducing the Captain to a new definition of pain.
Disgusted, Tony sat up and pulled out his IV. If no one was going to discharge him, he was going to walk out of the hospital against medical advice; it wouldn't be the first time that he had liberated himself from the clutches of the emergency room staff and as long as he had a career in law enforcement, it probably wouldn't be the last. He slowly shifted in the bed until his legs were dangling over the side, silently hoping that they would support his weight. Tony quelled the temptation to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over his head and sleep for two weeks, but he couldn't afford that luxury; time was no longer on his side. There would be time to rest when justice had been served.
He jumped at the sound of his door opening. The detective was usually not so easily startled but the stress of the past few months had left his nerves raw and bleeding; there were times that he wasn't sure he would be able to hold everything together, but somehow, he always managed to press forward.
Quickly schooling his features, he glanced up to see Gibbs entering his room. There was no mistaking the obvious displeasure etched in the agent's normally stoic expression; he figured the Navy cop would have something to say about his imminent departure but he had already made up his mind that he was leaving and no one was going to stop him.
"What do you think you're doing?" Gibbs wanted to know.
"Getting out of here."
"Really?"
"Yeah and don't try and stop me," he warned. "I've waited long enough and I keep getting the runaround, so I'm leaving."
"Are you sure you're up to it?"
"No, but I can't just stay here while…" Tony took a deep breath and blew it out. "While that arrogant bastard is out there plotting what he's going to do next."
"A few more hours won't make a difference," the agent attempted to reason.
Tony shakily stood to his feet. "You don't know that, Gibbs! In the past twenty-four hours, my fiancée has been murdered and three more people were almost killed because of me; you of all people should know that a few hours could mean the difference between life and death and I'm not willing to take that chance! He's got to be stopped!"
He tried to push past Gibbs, but unfortunately his will was stronger than his legs. Tony began to sink to the floor but calloused hands prevented him from falling. The detective reluctantly permitted the agent to help him back to the bed, where he sat motionless, hoping that the room would stop spinning.
"Thanks." Tony closed his eyes in an effort to control the dizziness that was plaguing him. "Just give me a minute, I'll be fine."
"Right."
Tony didn't miss the sarcastic tone that Gibbs voice had taken. He would have rolled his eyes at the older man's comment but at the moment, that miniscule action would have demanded too much energy and he didn't have any to spare. "Thanks for your vote of confidence," he grunted.
"I just spent the last twenty minutes convincing your doctor that he could release you and then you try and pull a hair brained stunt like leaving AMA; you're just proving the doctor's theory that you need to stay overnight."
"Maybe if someone had told me that you were…" Tony shook his head. "Never mind," he groaned. "So when can I get out of here?"
"Soon as you can get dressed."
"Can I have my clothes?"
"I don't think you want them; the nurse is bringing some scrubs for you to wear and then we'll stop by your place so you can shower and get cleaned up."
He had to admit that a hot shower sounded like a good idea. Maybe it would help remove the cobwebs out of his mind; if he was going to take down Waters, he was going to have to have a clear head. "That sounds good," he admitted. "I'm kind of tired smelling like smoke. Are you going home to change too?"
"Nah, I've got a change of clothes at the office."
"So, we're still going to NCIS?"
"Yep. I'm getting all the evidence from the two homicides and the bombing transferred to Abby," Gibbs informed him.
Although he had only briefly met the forensic scientist, he had easily sensed that her determination was complimented her brilliance. Tony had the feeling that with her help, they would find the answers they needed to solve the murders of the Griffon and Milner families; once those families could rest in peace, he could channel all his energy into taking down Waters.
"That's good," he tiredly replied. "Maybe we can finally get some answers."
"Abby's the best; if there's a clue in the evidence, she'll find it."
"I've only talked to her a few minutes but there's not a doubt in my mind that she's up to the task."
"Like I said, she's the best."
Tony stared at the agent as Gibbs acknowledged the compliment that had been directed towards the scientist. He had a feeling that the silver haired man was up to something; there was a streak of deviousness in the man that few knew about, but somehow he had picked up on it right away. "Something on your mind, Gibbs?"
"Not really."
"Not really? So that means that something is bothering you. What is it?"
He wasn't sure that he should have asked that question. Tony had already learned that Gibbs was a man a few words, but when he did speak, the words he uttered demanded to be acted upon. The fact that he could read the older man so well that he knew that something was troubling him was unnerving; if he could read Gibbs then Gibbs could read him and Tony wasn't certain that he was prepared to let the agent see the man behind the mask.
Tony swallowed back the nausea that he had been constantly battling most of the morning as Gibbs sat down on the edge of his bed. He met Gibbs' piercing gaze, determined not to falter under the withering glare.
"I'm going to ask you something and I want an honest answer," Gibbs stated, his no nonsense tone demanding to hear the truth.
"About what?"
"What you're thinking."
He shrugged and blew out a frustrated breath. "I'm thinking about getting out of here."
"That much is obvious, but that's not what I meant and you know it."
"I'm fine, Gibbs."
"The hell you are."
The detective suddenly found the striped pattern of the wall fascinating. He had to remain focused, hiding the dark thoughts that were consuming him from the ever watchful eye of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The agent was right; he wasn't fine, but Tony was not about to let the older man pull back the curtain that would expose his warring emotions.
"I said I was fine."
"And I'm telling you that you're not fine," Gibbs continued pressed.
Tony clenched his jaw in an attempt to bite back a sharp retort; he knew that Gibbs was trying to help him and while he wanted to trust the man, he couldn't afford to let someone get that close to him again. Tony hadn't been lying when he had told Abby that it was dangerous to be his friend; he had already lost his two best friends and he couldn't stand another death on his conscience.
"What do you want from me, Gibbs?"
"I want you to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours," Gibbs tersely insisted.
"You really don't want to know," Tony tried to reason, still refusing to meet Gibbs' gaze. "Because what I'm thinking about doing will more than likely ruin my life and my career, but right now, I'm having a hard time caring about anything except trying to figure out how I'm…"
"What?"
"How I'm going to kill Waters," he blurted out. Gibbs didn't seem surprised by revelation. Is this what Gibbs had expected to hear?
"Waters is going to get what's coming to him," Gibbs vowed.
"I know he is," Tony agreed, his voice surprisingly calm but possessing a deadly undertone.
"Tony, I know how you…"
His eyes narrowed as his eyes slowly came to rest on Gibbs' face. The agent was obviously wearing his own mask because at the moment, Tony couldn't begin to fathom the meaning behind the unreadable expression plastered on Gibbs' countenance. "Please don't say you know how I feel because you don't."
"I know exactly how you feel, DiNozzo. You feel that you have to get revenge for Drew and for Wendy, not mention for what happened at the diner; you can't eat or sleep and you have no desire to eat or sleep until you get your justice. You've reached an all time low and right now, you've got so much hate in you that you don't know how to climb out of that pit. You want justice but you're torn by how to obtain it; you think it's time for you to take matters in your own hands but there's a sense of morality holding you back. How's that for not knowing how you feel?"
Tony found himself speechless. Gibbs had somehow managed to describe the emotions churning within him with amazing accuracy; the only way that the agent could understand the turmoil he was experiencing was if he had experienced it as well. Unfortunately, he had a feeling that Gibbs was not going to reveal any more personal information to him at the moment; the NCIS agent just wanted him to remind him that he wasn't in this alone.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't…I didn't mean to…" Why was it so hard to form a complete sentence? "I didn't mean to act like I was the only one who had ever lost somebody; I know I'm not. I just want this to be over and I want Waters to pay." Tony dug the palms of his hands into his eyes. "I want him to die in such a way that he's begging for mercy as he takes his last breath; mercy that Drew or Wendy didn't get and he won't get it either."
"He doesn't deserve it."
The detective was mildly surprised that Gibbs had agreed with him; this was the second cryptic remark that the other man had made, piquing Tony's curiosity about Gibbs' past. How could the agent condone or even understand the anger and the darkness that was emanating from him at the moment unless he had experienced it before. He knew that Gibbs had been married, but had there been someone else in his past that he had loved and lost? Tony doubted that he would ever find out about the Navy cop's past, especially since after the investigation, they would more than likely part ways.
Tony suddenly felt as if all the life had drained out of him. "I'm tired, Gibbs," he admitted.
"I know."
"I've got to finish this."
"We will," Gibbs promised.
"How many times are we going to have this conversation, Gibbs? Today was too close; I'm not willing to take the chance with your life. Not again."
"It's not your decision, DiNozzo. I've got your six."
"Gibbs, I…"
Tony was too tired to argue any longer. He would simply bide his time and then when the opportunity presented itself, he would give Gibbs the slip and do what he had to do.
"What were you going to say, Tony?"
"Nothing; I'm just ready to get out of here."
He was grateful that Gibbs didn't press the issue; Tony wasn't in the best frame of mind and the last thing he wanted to do was say something that he would regret. Gibbs was trying to help him and although he was still reluctant to accept it, he was appreciative of the agent's support.
"I'll go see what the hold up is."
"Thanks. Hey Gibbs," he called out.
"Yeah?"
"Is Rita already gone?"
"Yeah, I had Agent Pacci take her home; Metro is placing a cop close by, so she should be okay."
Satisfied, he nodded his thanks again as Gibbs left him alone. He was too exhausted to organize his thoughts into coherent ideas; his mind was numb and at the moment, he didn't want to think about anything. The detective barely paid attention to the instructions given to him by the nurse that had come in a few minutes later with a pair of scrubs and his release papers; Tony knew that although he probably wouldn't be able to repeat what the nurse said, Gibbs, who was once again standing by his bedside, would be able to and would make sure that he followed the doctor's orders to the letter.
"Do you have any questions, Detective DiNozzo?" the nurse sweetly asked.
"Huh?" His cheeks flushed a bright crimson when he realized that he had been caught daydreaming. Tony silently chastised himself; he couldn't afford to become so distracted and complacent. "I mean, no. I don't have any questions."
"Then sign here."
Ignoring the glare of the NCIS agent standing beside him, he took the pen and shakily placed his signature on the designated line. "Thank you," he mumbled as he picked up the pair of scrubs lying on the foot of his bed; Tony wasn't thrilled at the thought of wearing the pale green material, but beggars couldn't be choosers.
After the nurse left, he carefully stood to his feet and slowly made his way over to the bathroom. "I'll be right back," he informed Gibbs, whose steely gaze was following his sluggish movements.
"I'll be right here, DiNozzo."
Tony nodded as he pulled the door closed behind him. He braced himself against the sink and studied the reflection in the mirror; the detective barely recognized the image staring back at him. It wasn't the stubble on his face or the fine lines of exhaustion etched in his sorrowful expression that disturbed him; it was his eyes that haunted him. His eyes were barren and desolate with the exception of the glimmer of hate flickering within the iris; this was the face of a stranger who had nothing left to lose.
He didn't like the man he was becoming but he felt powerless to stop the transformation; Tony knew that Wendy would not be happy that her death had turned him into a vigilante, but Waters needed to be stopped and he was the only one who could do it. Was it worth losing himself completely? Was it worth losing what little bit of his sanity that he had left?
The answer to his self imposed questions came to him quicker than he had expected; the only problem was that he didn't like the response his conscience had given him. Standing tall, he turned his back on his reflection and began changing into his scrubs. He had a lot of work to do and he had to create a flawless plan if he was going to take down Waters; nothing else mattered until his own brand of justice had been served.
There was only one roadblock to his plan and he was standing on the other side of the door. Tony had to admit that it was a comfort to have someone watching his six; Gibbs was determined to help him but the detective was afraid. He was scared to let anyone else get too close to him; Tony was tired of losing people and the only way to ensure self preservation was to rebuild that wall around his heart that had been torn down by those few that he had allowed to breach his defenses.
Couldn't Gibbs see that he was pushing him away to protect him? Throwing the gown he had changed out of onto the floor, he decided that he was going to have to try and convince Gibbs that it was in his best interest to stay clear of him. As he opened the door and studied the lines of determination etched in Gibbs' features, he immediately realized that he was about to take on an impossible task.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Abby was counting the minutes before Gibbs and Detective Anthony DiNozzo walked through the doors of her lab. She was trying to keep herself busy by beginning to sort through the evidence that had been transferred to her but truthfully, she was more excited about getting to know the enigmatic DiNozzo. The scientist had immediately been drawn to the young man; she wasn't sure what it was about Tony that had already endeared him to her, but given time, she would find out.
Gibbs had called and said that they had just left Tony's apartment and would be at NCIS in about twenty minutes; make that nineteen minutes. Hopefully, Gibbs would bring her a Caf-Pow; she had just finished her last one and if she was going to 'Tony sit', she was going to need all the energy she could muster. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that Tony would balk when he realized what she and Gibbs were up to, but it was for his own good.
With her music blaring in the background, she removed the last of the evidence of the two homicides that Gibbs and Tony were working on. It only took her a few seconds to decide on what she needed to do first. It was obvious that Baltimore PD had yet to run the blood samples to make sure that all the blood matched their victims; she wasn't sure as to why their forensic department was so inefficient, but she planned on mentioning it to Gibbs.
As she busied herself with the blood samples, she no longer paid attention to the time so when Gibbs and DiNozzo entered the lab, she would have been startled by their arrival had her Gibbs sense not been working overtime. "Hi Gibbs!"
Gibbs kissed her on the cheek and handed her a Caf-Pow. "You are the best," she exclaimed as she took a sip of her favorite drink.
"So what do have, Abs?" the agent asked.
"Seriously, Gibbs? I just got this stuff sorted and started running some tests. Do you believe that Baltimore PD didn't even run the blood samples? What were they thinking?"
"They were following orders," Tony interjected. "It was a way to get back at me."
Her heart nearly broke when she instantly realized that things were worse for DiNozzo than she had originally thought. He definitely needed a hug and as soon as Gibbs left him in her care, she would bestow several upon him.
"A way to get back at you? I don't understand."
"Let's just say I've made some enemies at the department and leave it at that," Tony suggested.
There was no mistaking the bitterness and anger in Tony's voice; standing before her was a man who had been forced to endure a lot of pain in his life but had apparently always managed to pick himself up off the ground and move on. Whatever pain was haunting him now was managing to destroy the soul of the detective and she couldn't let that happen. He was too good of a person to head down the path of destruction that he seemed to be travelling.
"You should just forget about Baltimore and come work for Gibbs. I mean, the Director's wanting him to get a team together and you two would make a great team; you'd probably become legendary and…"
"Abs!" Gibbs growled, forcing her to stop her rambling. Abby didn't take Gibbs' gruffness personally; in her opinion, it was only one of the things that she loved about him. She did tend to get carried away at times and it wasn't her place to offer DiNozzo a job, but she would definitely bring the possibility up again when Gibbs was out of earshot.
"Sorry, Gibbs," she mischievously grinned. "Anyway, I'm running those tests and I'm going to see what else I can do but I'm going to need some help."
She caught the tiny smile that escaped Gibbs' lips, indicating that he knew exactly what she was up to.
"DiNozzo, you help Abby while I go clean up," Gibbs ordered.
"Me?" Tony asked.
"Yep. I won't be long." Gibbs leaned over and gave her another kiss. "Keep him here," he mumbled under his breath.
"Gibbs," Tony began to protest. "I don't know anything about forensic science! I majored in physical education!"
"It's time you learned, DiNozzo."
In a couple of strides, Gibbs had left the lab, leaving the two of them alone. Abby smiled at the handsome detective as he stood there, confused as to what he should do. As he turned to follow Gibbs, Abby picked up her remote and locked the doors, effectively trapping the two of them together in the lab.
"What the…?"
Abby walked over and took Tony by the arm and escorted him back to the table the evidence was piled on. "Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly."
"For some reason, that makes me really nervous."
Abby laughed as she handed him a pair of gloves. "It should."
"Gibbs put you up to this, didn't he?" Tony challenged.
The scientist shrugged. "Does it matter? The point is that I need help and you're it."
"But…"
Abby could no longer resist the urge to hug the detective and she pulled Tony into tight embrace. She felt his whole body tense at her touch but the longer she held him, the more relaxed he became. After a few seconds, she allowed him to pull away. "You look like you needed a hug," she mused. "Besides, there's nothing wrong with a friend hugging another friend and there's nothing wrong with asking a friend for help. Keep that in mind, okay?"
"Abby, I…"
She placed her delicate fingers on his lips, silencing his protest. "We've got some work to do, DiNozzo; we better get busy."
Abby handed him her cup. "Here, you probably need this Caf-Pow more than I do."
Tony nodded his thanks and Abby leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
"Casablanca," Tony mumbled. "Nice."
"I love that movie."
"It's a classic. It was actually…" Tony swallowed hard. "It was actually Wendy's favorite movie."
"She had great taste."
"Yeah, she did."
"If you ever need to talk, I'm ready to listen. I know we just met but there are some people…"
"That you feel like you've known forever and you can tell them anything," Tony finished.
"Exactly."
"Thanks, Abby. I appreciate the offer and maybe later, I'll feel like talking; right now, I can't let myself think about her too much or I'll…"
"Fall apart?"
Tony nodded as he picked up a bag that contained a diamond ring belonging to Mrs. Griffon. Abby knew that he had to be thinking of Wendy and the wedding that never would be. She gently took it from his hands and laid it back on the table. Only time would heal a broken heart; she just hoped that DiNozzo would give himself that time. The newly proclaimed friends were interrupted by the ringing of Tony's cell phone.
She watched with interest as he glanced at the caller ID. "It's Wendy's dad," he mouthed as he answered the phone.
Abby turned off the music as she attempted to listen to the one sided conversation; it was pretty obvious by Tony's pained expression that whatever was being said was not doing anything but adding to the heavy burden that the detective was carrying. She had to do something; Abby hated to see her friend in such agony and as long as he was in her care, it was up to her to look out for him.
"What would Gibbs do?" she whispered to herself as she continued to watch Tony struggle to control his emotions.
Whatever was being said on the other end of the line was obviously tearing Tony apart, but DiNozzo had yet to shed a tear. She started to follow him as the detective entered her office but a shake of the head kept her feet planted by the evidence table. He wanted to have some privacy and he had that right; Tony had already had so much taken for him, she hated the thought of taking one more thing.
She had already decided that if he wasn't out of there in two minutes, she was going in and throwing his phone into a container of acid. It wasn't a great plan but it was the best she could come up with at the moment; besides, she knew that it was what Gibbs would do. Now that she thought about it, the agent would probably just take a hammer to the phone but the results would be the same and that's all that truly mattered.