First thing, THANK YOU! I was really happy to see from the reviews that, even after all the time it took me to update, there are people who still waited for my story to go on! This really made my day!
About this next chapter... well, it was kind of difficult to write, so much that at first I decided to cut it. Then I changed my mind when I realized that I couldn't do it, because it's an important scene! But messing with a scene I already liked the way it was in the game wasn't easy. To make it more ''original'' and a little more realistic, I was forced to change it, since in the game... well, it's basically a monologue and I don't think a normal girl would stand there and listen, given the situation. So, I tried to put more dialogue in it, while trying to still follow the pattern of the original scene. I think it turned out to be a mess, with me always writing more than I should and be ironical when I should just be romantic. Still, I'll let you be the judges of that.
Also, this was supposed to be the final chapter, but as I was writing it I had the idea for a little epilogue, so I'm sorry to say that you'll have to bear with me for a little longer!
Anyway, here's the next chapter and thank you for reading.
AFTER THE CLIFFHANGER
«I can't believe it! Is it really him?»
«I don't think he has a twin brother, so I suppose it is him.»
«What is he doing here? I thought they let him graduate beforehand because of his good grades!»
«Yeah! Why is he here? And why is he running that way? Is he fleeing from someone?»
As expected, there was no way for me to run away from the other students' voices. I took the bother to wear my old school uniform, so as to pass as unnoticed as possible, but apparently it was useless. I could as well climb on the rooftop and scream I was there: the effect would have been the same.
«Do you think it has something to do with...?»
«Oh, right! There are no other explanations! That must be the reason!»
«I don't know exactly what happened between them, but I heard that...»
Normally, their insinuations would bother me, but this time I just could care less and just keep running through the courtyard, trying the reach the crowd of third years students that just came out of the auditorium after the Graduation Ceremony. I have no time to lose, because this is my last chance. If I fail now, it will be all over! If I don't see her now, then I'll lose her!
Today is the 2nd of March, the day of the Graduation Ceremony at Hanegasaki High... and a fortnight after the day I was supposed to go back in Habataki City. My intention was to go back immediately after Grandpa's phone call, but all sort of things happened. And when I say 'all sort of things', I seriously mean it!
First, that evening, when my parents got back from that dinner of theirs and found one of the windows broken and me on the door with all of my belongings already packed, my father had an heart attack... and I mean it! We had to take him to the hospital and all, where it turned out it was nothing serious: it was just because of the shock, but still enough to delay my departure for some days. When he finally got back on his feet again and I managed to explain that I had no intention of giving up on university just yet (since, let's face it, it's the most reasonable thing for me to do right now), but just choose where I was going to attend it, I managed to make it to Habataki City right on time for the graduation day. So here I am, on the verge of an heart failure, surrounded by the surprised looks and voices of the other students, trying to find Nami... who, by the way, is nowhere to be seen.
Damn it! Why? Where the heck is she? I can't be so late, right? The Ceremony can't be ended from too much time!
Right as I'm considering to call her name out loud, hoping she would hear me, I spot two familiar faces between the crowd of newly graduated students: Hariya and Nishimoto. They are talking and maybe it's just me, but their faces look somewhat dark.
I'm safe! They are Nami's friend, right? So they must know where she is!
«Hariya! ...Get out of my way, you!... HARIYAAAAAA!» I call out to him, pushing some other students out of my way to reach him.
Nothing. He didn't hear me... or is he pretending not to hear?
Ok, then: I have never thought I would go this far, but seems like I have no choice. I said I would do everything for Nami, right? Then, the time as come to prove it!
I gather all the breath I've left and call him again with all I've got.
«HARII! YOU USELESS PIECE OF SCUM! HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BECOME A ROCKSTAR, IF YOU CAN'T HEAR THE VOICE OF A FRIEND OF YOURS IN THE CROWD! I'M TALKING TO YOU, HARII!»
See, Nami? I even called him by his nickname because of you!
...Okay, I called him 'useless piece of scum' right after, but this was due: he wouldn't recognize it was me, if I didn't.
Finally, I see Hariya's expression freeze and his lips moving to form my name, even if I can't hear his voice. He starts looking around and finally spots me struggling against the crowd. Immediately, both he and Nishimoto move toward me and we finally meet halfway, all of us panting because of the struggle.
«What the heck are you doing here, Saeki? I thought you were gone!» Hariya finally says, once he's caught his breath again.
«Change of plans!» I answer quickly. I have no time to explain. «How long ago has the Ceremony ended?»
«About twenty minutes ago. Why?» Nishimoto answers in his place, looking at the hour on her cellphone display.
Crap! I'm terribly late!
«Is everyone still here?»
Hariya understands what I'm trying to say, because his eyes narrow and he glares coldly at me like he never did before.
«If you are talking about Nami, she's already gone and I don't see why I should tell you where. After all, you treated her like crap! It's your fault if she's been on edge up to now, y'know?»
I imagined he could react like that, but I never would have guessed it could hurt so much to realize he's right. I really did treat her badly, and I have no excuses for it. Still, I don't have time to discuss about this!
«Hariya, I'm begging you! Tell me where she is!»
«What are you going to do, then? Make her suffer again? There's no way in hell I'd do that!»
«I don't want to make anyone suffer: I just have to tell her something!»
«You've already did enough, Saeki! You haven't seen her for a whole month, you've made her feel sad and lonely all the while, you never even called her! If you saw her in this days, you'd understand yourself that it's better if you stay away from her!»
...Is the situation this bad? I knew, by what Grandpa told me, that Nami looked sad lately, but... I've screwed up this badly?
There's no need for an answer. I can see the truth in Hariya's words and in Nishimoto's glare. Still, I can't give up. I've come this far and I won't go away before I see Nami.
«Listen, Hariya... I know what I did is wrong. I screwed up badly not only with Nami, but with everyone and with myself too. I'm really sorry. But please, please!, give me the possibility tell her I'm sorry! Just this once!»
He grinds his teeth and I see his hands shaking, like he's trying to keep himself from punching me.
«Give me a good reason to do it!»
Damn, damn, DAMN! This is going nowhere! He'll never tell me, and I can't even get angry, because he's right! DAMN IT!
«I'M IN LOVE WITH HER! IS THIS ENOUGH OF A REASON?»
I shouted so loud that in exasperation that, despite the chaos around us, some student turned around to look. Now both Hariya and Nishimoto are watching me with big eyes, as if they are wondering if what they saw and heard right now happened for real. Guess it's not like me. Well, lately I've been surprising myself too.
It takes a while for Hariya to recollect himself. After a couple of seconds, he opens his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but Nishimoto precedes him, cutting his words before he even starts.
«At the lighthouse.»
THE LIGHTHOUSE?
«W-what...? Are you sure?»
She shrugs.
«I can't say I am. All I know is that before the ceremony she muttered something about the lighthouse and ''make sure of something'' and, right after it ended, she said goodbye and left. That's all I know. I sort of thought she wanted to make sure that the phantom ship I told her about really existed, even if I told her not to go...»
Make sure of something? At the lighthouse? I don't want to delude myself, so maybe I should stop thinking before it happens, but if this is really the way I believe it is... If it really is...!
«I got it! Nishimoto, thank you! I owe you one! When this will be over, you can ask me anything! If it's something I can do, I'll definitely do it!»
If possible, her eyes grow even wider and she blushes slightly as she glances at Hariya.
«Okay, then... I think I'll accept your offer then...»
«HEY!»
Hariya interrupts and, before I can dash away, grabs the jacket of my uniform, forcing me to stop.
«Don't ignore me, Saeki! You can't just get away with this! It's unfair! You can mess up every time you want and people just forgive you! This is not right!»
I sigh and shake off his arm, but, despite my rush, I know I can't go just yet... at least until I'll settle things with Hariya, if only a little.
«Than make it right. Give me what I deserve.»
I open my arms, so as to show him I won't do anything to stop him. Hariya hesitates and look around, as if he was checking if someone was looking. As an answer to his behaviour, I smirk.
«What are you scared of? You graduated exactly twenty minutes ago: you can't be suspended, nor expelled, nor anything else.»
Hariya's eyes narrow and his glance become steely. With that face, he almost looks scary. Than, a lot faster than I though, his punch hits my stomach with a strength that, honestly, I didn't expect him to have. I feel like a bomb exploded in my stomach and I almost fall on my knees.
Wow! He must have been really angry, because it hurts like HELL! Still, despite the pain, it feels right! Yeah, it's right!
I straighten up, while everyone around us turns to look with stunned face. For a second, everyone is silent, waiting to understand what happened and what's going to happen. Then Hariya's eyes meet mine... and we both start laughing, much to everyone's surprise.
«Wow, it feels awesome! So, how is it, pal? Does it hurt?» Hariya grins, his usual smirk back at his place.
«Like hell!» I answer, laughing and coughing in the same time. «Oh, well, I deserve every second of it, so I don't mind.»
«Okay, then. For this time we are even, but try and hurt Nami again, and I'll give you the rest of these!» he shakes the fists in front of me once again and then stretches in a relaxed why. «Now go to see her. Who knows? Maybe she won't beat you up herself! Haruhi, let's go: no need to keep the 'Prince' any longer. He has his Princess to look for.»
Feeling a lot lighter despite the pain caused by the punch, I turn around, but, before dashing away, a quickly glance at him from over my shoulder.
«Mermaid.»
He frowns, perplexed.
«Eh?»
«Not Princess, but Mermaid.»
Hariya looks at me for a second, then shrugs.
«Ahh, whatever! Go! And you, what are you looking at?» he adds, seeing how everyone was still looking at us. «It was just a graduation joke between us! Nothing to worry about, so mind your own business!»
He then walks away, dragging Nishimoto with him.
«Oh, men are so stupid! You scared me there for a second!» I hear her complain, before they both disappear.
Without waiting any longer, I run out of the courtyard, the stomach still on fire, but the feet as fast as they've never been. If I had to do a 'mission report' right now, I would have to say that I'm already failing: I've missed the Ceremony and Nami and I've been beaten up by Hariya. Still, I think I won: at least I settled things with... well, the person who looks the most like a best friend for me. Anyway, this is only the first part of the game. My personal 'Final Boss', Nami, is still waiting for me at the lighthouse... or so I hope. I have no idea what will happen when I'll be there. I can hope, but nothing more than that. I don't know if everything will be fine, or if I'll lose everything, but I can't run away anymore.
The beach is not that far away from the school. I know, because I walked down that street a million times at least. Still, I feel like I've been running for hours! It's like one of those dreams where you see the destination in front of you but, no matter what, you can't reach it. I don't know how much time has passed from when I left school: could be minutes, hours or even centuries. All I know is that, when I left the gates, the sky was still blue, and now it's quickly turning orange.
''I have to be faster! Come on! Just a little more!''
But, no matter how much I want it, I can't run faster than this: my lungs are already exploding the way it is and, if I collapse out of exhaustion right now, I will never reach the lighthouse!
After what looks like an eternity, I reach the beach and the lighthouse appears in front of me like the tower of a castle against the orange sky. It's getting late... will she still be there?
I try to run a little faster, but running on the sand is not exactly easy, even if you're used to it. No matter how hard you try, you'll always end up being slower than normal.
As I run as fast as I can, my vision starts getting a little blurred because of exhaustion and, even if I keep my eyes on the lighthouse, other images start overlapping with its shadow.
They are memories. Memories from a long time ago.
«Here you are! Found you!»
I was sitting on the seashore, looking at the sea. The sun was setting and I knew it was almost time for dinner, but I didn't want to go back home yet: I wanted to stay out and play a little more, but, before I realized it, I couldn't think about any new game. So I just stayed there, waiting for Grandpa to call me, until I heard that voice.
I knew it well, even if last time I heard it, she was crying. This time it was different.
When I turned around, as I imagined, the girl called Nami was beside me. She was smiling: a really cute naughty grin she didn't have before. Somehow, she looked even prettier than the first time I saw her.
«Ah, it's you. You got lost again?» I asked, standing up as she approached.
She smirked and shook her head.
«No. I don't get lost anymore, you know?»
She frowned slightly, but it lasted only a second, and I thought it was because of the light.
«So, since I don't get lost anymore, I've come to look for you so I could tell you!»
«Tell me what?»
«That I don't get lost anymore! What else?»
She laughed, and I sighed. That girl was really strange!
«You came all the way to tell me this? You're weird, you know?»
Nami smiled with a little bit of embarrassment, admitting it was true... but then her smile turned into a serious expression and she started playing nervously with a strand of her short hair.
«Well, there's another thing I wanted to tell you. Dad said that we'll have to move in another place in a week, so I won't be coming here anymore.»
«...Is this place far?»
She nodded.
«I don't know how far, but Dad said we won't be able to come here for a while.»
Something inside of me broke and for a while I couldn't react. So she was moving away. What was so strange about it? A lot of people do this, right? After all, I barely knew her! She wasn't my friend or anything!
...Still, it hurts. I didn't want her to go away. I wanted to know her better, play with her, and maybe...
«...Why are you telling me?» I managed to say after a while.
«Well...». She thought about it for a while, then smiled sadly. «Because it's sad, right? I thought that we could be friends, play together and then , when we are older, we could get married!»
I gulped and, before I knew, I was blushing.
«G-g-g-g-g-g-get married? What are you saying? We don't even know each other! I bet you don't even remember my name!»
«Of course I remember! It's... it's...»
When I saw that she really didn't remember, I glared at her and she pouted.
«Don't look at me like that! It's not like I think about your name when I think about you: you are you even if you have no name. And when you like someone, you like someone: the rest is not important!»
«And you like me?»
Once again, she smiled like it was the most normal thing in the world.
«Yup! I like you!»
Now I was blushing wildly. What with this girl? She was crazy or what? But... it wasn't that bad. Really! It was the first time a girl told me she liked me: it was strange, but also warm. Kinda like how I felt the first time I met her.
«But now I have to move in a far place, so we can't get married anymore, right?»
Again, I felt as if someone grabbed my heart and squeezed it. Why did she have to move away? Why did she appear in front of me in the first place, if now she had to leave me?
...Yeah, maybe she was right. If you like someone, you like someone. And I liked her, even if I barely knew her.
«...Why not?»
She blinked, surprised.
«Because, if we are far away, we won't be able to get married. It's obvious, right?»
This was right, but, if there was a way...
«Come with me!»
I grabbed her wrist and took her with me toward Sangoshou, where I knew Grandpa was. At first she protested, but then curiosity won her over and she followed me.
The both of us stormed inside like two hurricane, surprising Grandpa.
«Teru, here you are! I was almost coming to call you for... but who's this cute miss? A friend of yours?»
«Pleased to meet you! My name is Nami and I'm his girlfriend!» she introduced herself without hesitation, before I could say anything.
I blushed but didn't deny it, and Grandpa just smiled.
«I see. Well, it must be something serious, if you already introduce your girlfriend to the family.»
«That's not the point!» I roared, getting angry so as to hide my embarrassment! «Grandpa, could you tell her the story you told me? The one about the Mermaid?»
Grandpa didn't answer immediately. He watched us with a mysterious look on his face, before he finally smiled again.
«Well, then. I just happen to have a few minutes to spare. Let's go to the lighthouse: that's the right place to tell you the story.»
And so he did. He led us to the lighthouse and told us the story about the Mermaid and the Young Man, the sad story without an ending that, for some reason, had been engraved in my mind ever since he first told me. While she was listening, Nami looked at first curious and fascinated, but, when it ended, she was seriously bothered.
In the end, when Grandpa finished his story, the both of us went out on the balcony, of the lighthouse, looking at the sea. The sun was setting: soon she would have to leave me, and I didn't know if I would see her again. I was sad, but didn't want to show it, because she looked sad too.
Finally, after a long silence, she spoke.
«Did the mermaid and the young man meet again?»
She was talking about the story. Was this the part that bothered her?
«Nobody knows.»
«...It's so sad, though» she sighed again, looking down.
«Well, this is how the story goes.»
«...It's not fair.»
She didn't answer, still looking down. I thought I knew what she was thinking: she thought that we would end up like the couple from the story. I knew because I thought about it too. But that wasn't the reason why I led her there and let her listen to it.
The reason was another.
«We are not like them. We'll meet again: when you'll be gone, I'll look for you and I'll find you for sure.»
She didn't raise her head, still looking down like she didn't really believe me.
«...Really?»
«Yes. So, could you raise your head?»
Right when I'm thinking I will never reach it, I find myself in front of the door of the lighthouse. My lungs are stinging and I have barely any breath left, but I'm here! Just a little effort and it's over! So, dear lungs, wait a little more before you explode: at least give me enough time to speak with Nami!
With another little effort, I run up to the door and push it. It's not locked, so it opens without any resistance. I enter inside and, at first, the only things I perceive are the sudden darkness and the smell of dust; then, as my eyes get used to the darkness, I finally see enough to find my way toward the stairway.
No one has been here for a while: I wouldn't be surprised if nobody had been here ever since Nami and I were little. This is supposed to be 'our place', in a way: after all, this is where we kisses for the first time...
The more I climb up, the more I breath hard. One could say it's because I ran for so long, but that's not it. I'm scared: scared not to see her there. If she's gone, then...
I don't want to think about it. She must be there! She MUST!
Finally, after what looked like an eternity, the stairway ends and, after all that darkness, rays of light hit my eyes like a punch, making me blink.
The door of the balcony is opened on the usual beautiful scene of the sun setting on the sea, making the water sparkle like a million rubies. And there, leaning on the railing, there is the silhouette of a girl wearing the grey and white Hanegasaki High uniform, her dark hair waving in the breeze while she looks thoughtfully at the sea.
She's beautiful; so beautiful that she doesn't even look real. She looks even more beautiful and charming than the first time I met her on the beach.
She really looks like a mermaid.
«I finally found you!» I exclaim out of relief and triumph as soon as I realize she really is there and I haven't missed my last chance.
Yes! Finally something is going the right way!
She gasps and quickly turns around, shocked. When she spots me on the door, her eyes grow wide; she opens and closes the mouth as if she was trying to say something, but words just die on her lips.
«Teru...?» she finally manages to whisper.
As soon as she calls my name, all the things I want to tell her start filling my head like the background noise of a broken television. There are so many things I need to say: that I missed her, that I'm sorry, that I love her, but they are so mixed together that I just can't say any of them in the right way. The only thing I can do is nod and step forward, as a proof that I'm there and I'm real.
«I've been looking for you at school, but when I arrived there, you were already gone» I try to explain.
Still looking as if she just saw a ghost, Nami steps toward me too and, without thinking, touches first my arms, then my shoulder. I let her, fighting against the urge to hug her. She still doesn't seem to believe I'm real: if I suddenly hugged her, I'd probably scare her.
But I missed her! I missed her so much that being in front of her again is... well, like a dream! Staying still while she's touching me is harder than I thought.
«It's really you. You're not a vision; I'm not imagining things» she murmurs, finally letting go of my shoulders.
Her features relax and she looks less spooked then before, but she still doesn't look at my face, keeping her eyes fixed somewhere around my tie.
«Why should you be imagining things?» I ask as softly as I can.
She looks like a scared puppy: it feels as if she would run away, if only I raised my voice a little more than this.
«Because lately...» she starts explaining, but suddenly stops and shakes her head violently. «...Never mind. Just tell me why are you here? You shouldn't be...»
She tries to sound normal, but her voice shakes and then breaks without ending the sentence.
«I'm here because this is where you are. I promised you I would always find you, didn't I?» I answer.
Finally Nami raises her head to look at me and I finally notice that her eyes are a little red and that she looks thinner and paler than before.
The Nami I knew never looked this pale and sad. The Nami I knew never looked at me with such a scared expression, as if I was going to hurt her any moment now. Is it my fault if she has become this way? Is it really because of me?
Seeing her like this, my heart starts aching even more and that little bit of self-control I had left melts like snow in the sun.
«Please, forgive me! I've been an idiot! I've already lost you once; I should have learned my lesson! Instead, I broke my promise and let you go again. I'm sorry!»
I'm practically begging right now. Probably I even sound pathetic enough, but I don't really care. The time when I cared it's over. What's important is that she understands. Nothing else.
Nami gasps again and the slightly scared expression in her face turns into one of surprise that makes her look a little bit more like herself.
«You remembered...? When we were kids, we...» she blurts out all of a sudden, instinctively touching her lips with the finger, before blushing wildly as soon as our eyes meet again.
This is all the confirmation I needed. She remembered...! She remembers! So she didn't completely forget about what happened between us! She just couldn't recall it, but the memory was there!
«I've never forgotten, unlike someone» I can't help but tease her, and she blushes even more, pouting and turning away for me not to see her red cheeks.
«...idiot...» she mutter angrily, and walks back toward the railing.
«Yeah, you're right. The worst idiot in the world. I knew from the very beginning, and I screwed up all the same. I've been proud and stupid, I told you some terrible things...». I follow her, but stop a few steps behind her so as to resist to the desire to touch her. «Then, when I was far away from you, all I could think about was you: I missed you, I wanted to be with you, but it was too late. Pathetic, isn't it?»
A short silence follows, as I wait for an answer that doesn't come. In the end, after waiting for a minute long like an eternity, she sighs and turn toward me once again. If before she looked a little more like the ''old'' Nami, now the sad look was back, making her look depressed and tired.
«So this is why you came back?» she says. «Because you felt guilty? Well, you don't have to. I was a little disappointed back then, when you told me our friendship was a lie, but I'll get over it. So, if you...»
What? WHAT? What is she thinking? She thinks I came back because ''I felt guilty''? Of course I felt guilty, but not in the way she means it! She's misunderstanding! Why does this girl have to be so slow?
«THAT'S NOT IT!» I blurt out quickly, interrupting her before she can say something even worse. «I feel guilty, of course! It's only fair, because the things I told you the day I left are the real lies! I was lying, Nami! I lied because I though it was for the best, but now I'm losing you because of this! Of course, I came to apologize too, but what I really wanted to tell you is that I've finally understood what's really important to me. It's you, Nami!»
...There, I said it. I thought I never would, but I did it.
Nami chokes and stare at me again as if she just saw a ghost; but this time it's different. She doesn't look sad and scared like a puppy in the rain anymore: she looks alive! Her face is a little flushed, her eyes are shining and her whole body is tense, as if she was holding back from start pacing around. Then, she suddenly let out a nervous laugh.
«What is it? A way to tell me ''let's be friends again'', or something?»
...Is she really this slow, or is she pretending to? Well, either way, let's make things clear once and for all.
I step forward, close enough to touch her if I wanted to.
«No.»
She leans back against the railing, as if she wanted to back away. But she can't.
«T-then what is it? What do you mean?»
«What I mean...». I sigh in exasperation. Apparently she's not pretending. She really is like that. «Listen, Nami... I've often behaved like a brat with you, I've never treated the way you deserved, and yet you didn't turn me down not even once. You were always there for me, and I always hurt you in return. I'm sorry if I realized how important you were to me only after I went away. But now it's different: I know I have to throw away this stupid pride of mine and... accept that you're everything to me. So... if I swear I won't leave you anymore...will you stay always by my side?»
If she doesn't get it this time, I'm seriously going to start throwing tables! I already feel like someone squeezed my entrails: if I have to say it again, I think my head will explode.
Looks like I'm not the only one, though. Nami's face is completely red and she looks like she's going to pass out any moment. Still, she doesn't look away and keep staring at my face like she's looking for some kind of confirmation.
«Is this... a confession?»
«...Something like that.»
After this, everything happens so fast that I can't understand how it happened: first, a punch hits me violently exactly in the same place where Hariya punched me before, making my stomach become numb because of pain... and immediately after, Nami is in my arms, holding onto me tightly like she never did before.
«You idiot, idiot, IDIOT! Don't ever pull a stunt like this again, understood?»
She buries her face in my chest, so I can't see her, but her back starts shaking and her voice turns into quiet sobs.
«Don't leave anymore, please! I missed you... I don't want you to leave me once again!»
Before I know, I've completely forgotten about the pain in the stomach. While I was coming here, I thought so many times about what to tell her, and now I've forgotten everything because of her tears! She never cried in front of me like that. I never thought I would have seen her this way... and I hoped I never would.
All I can do is hug her and cradle her in my arms like a little kid, hoping she'll calm down.
«I won't leave you, so don't cry. I'll always be with you.»
She nods silently and lets out a long sigh, trying to hold back the tears. We stay like this for some minutes, while I wait for her to calm down.
I'm really sorry, Nami. Sorry if I made you feel sad, sorry if I made you cry. I won't happen again, I swear.
Finally her sobs stop and she raise her head to look up at me. Her eyes are still wet and a little red, but her usual smile is back.
«Welcome back, then!»
Seeing her usual grin, the weight I had on my heart finally lifts and I find myself smiling back.
Yeah, I'm really back! This is the place where the person I want to be with is; the place I want to be. What else there's to know? I'M HOME!
«Well, it's not that easy getting rid of me, you know? Who are you going to quarrel with, if I'm not around?»
«If you put it this way, it really can't be helped» she sighs again, pretending to be disappointed and releasing me, putting a little bit of distance between us again.
...It's weird. I didn't think it would end up this way. I'm happy, really! But... I don't know how should I behave! She has forgiven me. At least, so it seems. But did she really accept my feelings? She haven't given me a proper answer yet... and why did she get away from my arms in the first place?
It's getting awkward and, when she looks up at me with a perplexed face, I can feel myself blushing.
I hate it when it happens!
«What's up?» she asks. «You are as red as a tomato.»
«I'm not red! And I was just wondering if...». Nope, no way. It doesn't work this way. I can't say it. «Oh, what the heck! Just tell me what are we now!»
If I wanted to confuse her even more, then I managed perfectly. The only result is that she looks even more puzzled.
«''What are we''?»
«Yeah. I mean, are we...?»
«...lovers?»
Yup! That's the word!
Nami looks away briefly, as if she's considering something; then she looks at me again and smiles. Maybe it's just a trick of the light, but looks like she's blushing too.
«Well, if the one from before was a confession... I suppose we are.»
We are? We really are?
Yes! Yes! YES!
My heart starts fluttering and there's a side of me who'd want to climb on the rooftop and tell the whole word that Nami and I are lovers! Lovers, understood? I still can't believe that it's turning out this way, when I was so prepared for the worse before. I hoped she would listen to me, but I really didn't think she would accept my feelings. How lucky I am! I'm the luckiest person in the world!
I realize I'm standing there smiling like an idiot, only when I hear Nami giggling.
«You look cute when you smile like that.»
«...I think my head went blank, for a second there» I mumble, embarrassed. «It's all your fault! I thought you would say no! I thought there was no chance that you would...»
«...forgive you?» she complete the sentence when I hesitate.
No. ''...That you would be in love with me'' are the words I was looking for. Actually she didn't say it; but I haven't said it either, right?
«Would you prefer if I said no?» she asks, raising an eyebrow.
«...Idiot.»
Taking advantage of the fact that she wasn't expecting it, I quickly chop her. She jumps in surprise and then glares at me, massaging her forehead.
«Geez! I see haven't changed: you're as sadistic as ever! It hurts, you know?»
It doesn't, and you know it. I barely touched you. Also, if it did hurt, I doubt you'd look so pleased.
«That's because you were saying stupid things. Instead of speaking nonsense, give me your hand, will you?»
There is still something I have to do: something I promised I would do in case she would... you know. It's maybe the only way I can prove her that what I said is true, that I am changed.
Still a little perplexed, Nami holds out her hand. I take out of my pocket that key, the key with the shell keychain, and press it gently on her palm.
«It's for you.»
«A key?»
She carefully trace the key with her fingertip, then raise her head again to look at me, demanding and explanation.
«Not ''a key''. That's the key of Sangoshou.»
«Then, why are you giving it to me?»
«I want you to keep it until the day I'll be able to reopen Sangoshou.»
For a second her face grows pale, then she watches first the key and then me, before smiling happily.
«So you won't give up on Sangoshou!»
I raise an eyebrow and smirk.
«I hate losing, don't I? So I'm not going to lose now. It might take a while, but I'll keep doing all I can until the day we'll be able to reopen Sangoshou... together. So don't lose it, okay?»
She clutches the key with determination and nods.
«I won't lose it! I'll treasure it until then... unless you'll be the one asking me to give it back, of course» she adds with a little bit of sadness.
What is she implying? That I could break up with her? Of all the stupid things she could think about...!
«...Do you want me to chop you again?»
«Nonono!». She quickly cover her head with the arms. «I believe in you! I do, really! What you just told me, the reason why you gave me this key... they are enough of a proof for me. They are things you wouldn't have done before. I really think... you are growing up.»
«Then why do you think I could break up with you? We have just become... you know what... and you are already having doubts?»
«No! It's just that... I still can't believe it! You could have everyone you wanted, and yet you came back for me! It looks so much like a fairytale that I just can't believe it! In real life, princes don't fall in love with normal girls.»
She looks down at the key she's holding in her hand and, by the look in her eyes, I realize she might be thinking the same thing I thought before: she haven't told me she loves me yet, but neither did I.
«Come here.»
Nami raises her head quickly, surprised as if my request dragged her out of a dream.
«...Eh?»
«I told you to come here, idiot! And don't look at me like that: I won't bite you, you know?»
She obeys and comes closer of a few steps and I quickly drag her next to me, hugging her closely. She lets me do it and, after a second of hesitation, hugs me back, surrounding my waist with her arms.
«I'm not a prince and you're not a normal girl, got it? I'm me and you are you. And...»
I hesitate. The words I'm looking for are ''and I love you'', but somehow I just can't say it. It's not like I don't feel it or I don't want her to know; it's just hard for me to tell her. I've been waiting for three years. It's a lot of time: so much that I've kind of grown used to waiting. And now that I'm in front of her, now that my wish has come true, the words just don't come out. But...
But I don't want her to think I don't feel that way about her. I don't want her to feel sad because I can't say those words. I've already made her feel sad enough when I left her. So, if I can't say it in words...
«''And''?» she repeats, waiting for me to continue.
«...and I've been thinking about something for a while now.»
For a while? Well, three years aren't exactly ''a while'', right?
«About what?»
«On our first year, on our way back from school, at the slope... do you remember?»
She gasps and blushes furiously.
«Y-y-y-yes. I remember...»
It's nice to see her blush about that episode once in a while, since usually I'm the one getting flustered about it. Also, she looks cute when she does.
«If not for that kiss, perhaps we wouldn't end up being so close to each other. Maybe we would just keep on hating each other. So, maybe it was Fate: maybe everything was decided from the very beginning.»
Despite her flushed face, Nami smiles thoughtfully and nods.
«Yes. Maybe. But we don't know for sure, right?»
«That's right. We don't know for sure. But there's a way to confirm it.»
I don't say more than that; there's no need to, because she has understood. I can see it in her eyes, in the way her cheeks turn pink, in the way she bites her bottom lip. There's nothing more I can say or do, other than waiting for her answer. It's not up to me anymore: it's up to her.
And finally...
«Yes.»
For a second my heart stops, before starting to race again. She accepted. Then now...
I look at her and see that she's looking at me too. When our glances meet, she closes her eyes, but it doesn't look like she's waiting for a kiss: more like she's lost in thoughts.
She's beautiful.
The tension inside of my chest melts and I finally feel really happy. Only happiness, without any doubts or embarrassments.
This is what I want. She's what I want.
I draw a little closer and carefully remove a strand of hair from her face, caressing her cheek: something I've been wanting to do for a while, but never dared. She shivers but doesn't open her eyes, still waiting. Seeing her like that, I feel like I'm not scared anymore. There's no reason to be afraid, because she feels the same way. We are a couple of inexperienced idiots, after all!
I approach a little more. Our faces are so close that I can feel every breath she takes, our lips only a few inches away. Maybe I should close my eyes now; if I keep them opened, I won't do anything: I'm too busy looking at her!
Then, suddenly, her lips move.
«Teru...» she whisper so softly that I can barely hear her. It sounds almost like a prayer.
My mind turns empty again, but this time I don't do anything to get out of it. Before I know it, I close my eyes.
Thank you, Nami. Thank you for accepting me, even after what I made you go through. Thank you because you'll be by my side from now on. In return, I promise you that the story that united us when we were little will have an happy ending after the cliffhanger. I'll definitely make you happy. Because I...
«I love you.»
Then our lips finally meets and everything goes blank around us.