A/N: Here we go! We finally arrive in Manderley! But before I let you go there is something I want to note…

As you can see, I'm using the Rebecca characters and replacing them with their perspective Phantom counterparts. The only person I couldn't place was Madame Giry. In all of my stories, I have used Antoinette as her first name so sticking with that fashion, I decided that the Madame Giry character is going to the butler Frith, but will go by the name Anthony. Antoinette… Anthony… you see? Now, some of you might not like that, but to fit with the story that's what I decided. And the Giry character will still be a parental figure in Christine's life. That is the only character where I changed their gender.

Now, without further ado… Manderley…

Chapter 9

My stomach was full of butterflies as our destination became closer. Finally… after hearing so much of Manderley I was going to see it for myself. Erik took it upon himself to inform me of the servants would be attending me as well as those who I will have day-to-day business with. As mistress, I was responsible in making sure the household was kept in line and to make any final decisions on meals, gatherings, decorations, etc.

"I know it seems a lot, my dear, but do not fret. Mrs. Danvers will be there every step of the way to help you. She has been at Manderley for many years and she knows what needs to be done. She is a hard woman, but she has done Manderley well and she is well-respected. I'm sure the two of you will become fast friends in no time."

His assuring words did not calm my nerves. I never was in charge of a staff before, especially as large as one that Manderley required. I did not know the first thing to run a household. I was not sure if I knew how to make the right decisions.

Yet, I could not confide my fears or my insecurities to my husband, not when he was so excited to be returning home. I could only hoped that when we arrived I would feel more at ease and everything will fall into place. Perhaps with the help of Mrs. Danvers, I will know the routines of Manderley quickly and I could laugh at these doubts later. Although, for now, I could only fold my hands into my lap and wait as Erik directed the car towards the iron gate that would take us up the winding driveway to Manderley.

"Hello Mr. de Winter! It's good to have you home," the gatekeeper said, coming out to greet his master.

"Thank you Charles. I'm always happy to come back to Manderley."

Charles cocked his head at me. "Hello to you too Mrs. de Winter."

I nodded, my voice not working at the moment. Charles turned around and opened the gate to let us in. Erik started the car up again and we were on our way.

The first thing I noticed was the trees and flowers that lined the path. The leaves were brightly green; the branches intermingled with one another forming an archway as we drove. Thin rays of sunlight broke through the trees, scarcely lighting the drive, and it appeared darker despite the time of day being early. I recognized the oak trees and beeches with their white stems so close that I could almost reach out and touch them.

The road curved and we drove over a tiny bridge with a lovely stream below and I was already storing that in my memory for a place for me to sketch. Each bend of the road was twisted and it felt endless with each passing second, even the gates that we passed seemed miles long. I could not help but notice how eerily silent the woods seemed to be. There was not a wind blowing, not even the chirping of birds or the scurrying of tiny creatures. I found that very odd as we had a forest near my village where I grew up. There was always some mischievous animal that would lurk about making some kind of ruckus. Yet, I could not see or hear anything resembling life out in those dark woods.

Erik took a sharp turn and I gasped as we came towards a red wall that was on either side of us; bright crimson plants that hid any green from sight.

"Rhododendrons," Erik replied with a hint of pride. "Lovely, are they not?"

Breathlessly, I stammered out a "Yes" and sank deeper into the leather seat. Erik twisted his face to look at me and he laid his hand in my lap.

"Don't worry. I know this appears daunting, but trust me, just be yourself and they will adore you as much as I do. Of course, they will be curious, mind you. You are their new mistress and they will want to know everything there is about you. But don't let that intimidate you. My staff is harmless and will do anything to please you. All you have to do is ask."

Curious… they will be curious about me and the butterflies multiplied. Immediately, my mind was clouded with despairing thoughts of disappointment. What if they don't like me? What if I was not what they expected? What if I make a mistake and I lose any credibility and respect? I was a mere commoner, a former seamstress and paid companion… I did not have the kind of class that a mistress of Manderley should have. Mrs. Van Hopper's parting words returned to haunt me and I knew I was way over my head. She knew I could not handle this… And I was so naïve and foolish to think I could prove to her how wrong she was.

We were getting closer. The boyish glint of excitement was showing in my husband's eyes and I wondered if it was too late to ask if we could turn back. All I wanted to do was go back to Paris or even Monte Carlo. At least… I could live the fantasy and imagine what Manderley was like.

My mouth was dry and my hands were wet from perspiration. I wiped them on the folds of my dress and then ran my fingers through my hair, making sure that I did not have a loose strand in my bun. My heart pounded loudly in my ears and I swallowed hard to retain some moisture in my mouth.

I could see straight ahead the path breaking up, the trees and shrubs thinning out, as a tall structure loomed. I took a deep breath, the air now carrying a salty taste. I could hear the waves of the sea and Manderley was now coming before us.

The lawns were an emerald green that was luscious and glossy, sloping down to the gardens. We pulled along the wide stone steps as a large crowd of people were gathered in front of the open doors, trickling down the steps, and partly on the road.

I heard Erik uttered an oath and I turned to him. "Damn the infuriating woman. She knew very well I did not want this kind of thing."

"Who are they?" I asked quietly, the panic building up within my chest.

"I suppose there's no avoiding this," Erik said on a sigh. "They are my staff… now yours too. I had hoped to gradually introduce you to them so it would not be overwhelming; alas, Mrs. Danvers had other plans. Well, best to get it over done with so we can move on."

I felt incredibly sick to my stomach, but Erik was right. There was no way I could enter Manderley without avoiding all these people. My palms were sweaty once more as I fumbled for the latch on the car door, and I nearly lost my balance, when the butler came to open the door for me.

He held his hand out to steady me and I regained my composure to look at him. He had a kind face, his gray eyes warm with welcome. He looked to be in his fifties, certainly older than my husband, with dark gray hair. He had a regal stance, his posture painfully straight, and he had the sort of air that demanded everyone's attention. With one look, I knew he was a kindred spirit.

"Ah, Anthony," Erik greeted. "I thank you for catching Mrs. de Winter."

"My pleasure, sir, and its good to have you back. We have all been anxiously awaiting you and the new Mrs. de Winter."

Erik appeared at my side and shook Giry's hand. "Anthony Giry has been with my family for many years. Besides Mrs. Danvers, Anthony knows the inner workings of Manderley and will assist you if need be."

Anthony bowed before me and my shaky knees attempted to curtsey. "Hello," I said, which sounded more like a squeak. He raised a brow to me, and then looked over to my husband when Erik spoke.

"Now, who arranged this?"

"Mrs. Danvers' orders, sir," Anthony replied and Erik nodded in confirmation. "Of course she did. Thank you Anthony."

Erik took my hand and led me around the car to face Manderley and… the staff. Thank God Erik was holding my hand or I would have collapsed from fright. There were so many of them standing around, dozens and dozens and dozens of eyes all on me. I felt faint as they gazed at me with scrutinizing and curious looks. Several turned to the person beside them, their mouths silently moving at a rapid pace.

They were talking about me. They were comparing me to… her.

The color drained completely from my face and I clenched Erik's hand tighter as he moved us closer. I was trembling terribly, my heart was racing, and I knew how it must have felt to be thrown into the lions' den. Those judging expressions were to be my trial and execution. I wanted desperately to beg my husband to leave, but it tore me to pieces to see that unadulterated look of happiness on his visage. I couldn't take him away from Manderley. Not when he clearly missed his home after all these long months abroad. I couldn't be that selfish. But, oh! I was so afraid and I clung to my husband for support.

"Everyone! Let me present to you your new mistress of Manderley—Mrs. Christine de Winter. I trust you will do your best to ensure that Mrs. de Winter settles in nicely. Now… where is Mrs. Danvers?"

From above the steps, the servants parted like the Red Sea and on top, standing in the open doorway, had to be Mrs. Danvers. She was a tall, thin woman clad in a straight gown of black with a white collar and buttons down to her waist. What struck me the most about her was her features: her chin was angular, her cheekbones sharp and small, and her protruding nose had a peculiar upwards curl; her complexion was very fair, her coal-like eyes standing out below her thinly arched brows, and her black hair braided tightly in a bun.

The hairs on the back of my neck prickled as she proceeded to glide down the steps, the skirt of her dress barely ruffled with each movement. Her countenance was unreadable, her lips pressed firmly together, to avoid a trace of any emotion or betrayal to her thoughts. Her lashes flicked languidly as she looked from me to Erik.

"Mrs. Danvers when I wrote to you to tell you of our impending arrival, I was not expecting any ceremony to take place."

"I took the liberty sir," she answered, her voice cool and clipped. "I presumed the new Mrs. de Winter would want to meet her staff."

"Yes," Erik said, although his expression did not soften. "In the future, Mrs. Danvers, no more of this unless either I or Mrs. de Winter specifically say so."

At the mention of my name, her eyes landed on me and from that one piercing look, I shrunk back.

"Yes Mr. de Winter," she said, bowing her head to Erik. Mrs. Danvers stepped to the side so Erik could lead me up the stairs. Even though my back was to her and the others, I could still feel the jabbing stares.

However, all that left when I was in awestruck over Manderley's grand entrance. The foyer had checkered black and white tiles, the ceiling extending to the heavens, and a grand sweeping staircase. I remember seeing one of the doors opened that led into the gallery—the portraits of all the de Winter family members. That had been one of the first rooms Erik took me through. Each frame varied with some as long as twenty feet and some short as five feet. Every painting featured one or two of the de Winters dating far back as to Erik's great-great-great grandfather. Yet, the one portrait that caught my interest was of a woman wearing a flowing white gown; a wide, white sun hat upon her head of black coiled curls. I never seen someone so beautiful, but looking closely… I could see Erik's eyes reflecting back to me.

"Caroline de Winter," he said from behind. "She was my great-cousin."

"She has your eyes," I murmured softly.

"The de Winter eyes," Erik spoke proudly and reached for my hand. "Come. There's more to show you."

He pulled me away from the gallery and back to the foyer. The door was closed; no doubt all the servants were back to their daily chores and routines. I wondered if any felt I disturbed their timely scheduled and scolded myself that I must have. After all, it is not everyday they were gathered to greet Manderley's new mistress. Then my thoughts drifted to Mrs. Danvers. She was a queer sort of woman with her rigid stance and inscrutable hollow eyes. I don't know how Erik ever felt that we could be friends. There was not a trace of friendliness or kindness that I could have seen, but I knew her role among the staff. She was the housekeeper and manager. Everything ran smoothly due to her rule and I had to admit I could certainly learn a thing or two from her. Perhaps, her coldness was a sign of shyness? It was going to be a difficult task to thaw that frosty exterior, but for Erik… I was willing to try.

Erik showed me the library—a very impressive, large room with shelves lining every wall and filled with all kinds of books. I knew there was enough for me to read in five lifetimes!

From there, he pointed out some various rooms that were specifically for me. The morning room and sitting room were two places I could entertain guests if I so wished and he suggested that the sun room might be a good place for me to get some air and take in a sketch or two. That room overlooked the rose garden and I was already envisioning the masterpieces I could recreate.

We then traveled to the dining room, another wide and long stately room that could sit at least sixty people. This was where they held parties as it was the largest room to house that many guests. The table could be taken apart and transported elsewhere so the room could turn into a ballroom as well.

It was getting close to dinner and Erik led me to the second dining room. This one was appropriate for a small setting and where we were to have all of our meals. Tea could be taken in any room that I desired.

I was so dizzy from the overwhelming beauty and grandiose that Manderley provided that I found my appetite to be lacking. I practically felt guilty when I saw a fine feast already prepared for us. Erik held my chair out for me and took his seat on the other side of the table. Although it was not very long, I felt the distance between us and I did not like that he was not close by to me. I was so used to us dining close to one another, so close our shoulders could touch. But… we were at home now. And it was expected of us to sit at our respective ends of the table.

I sipped some of the soup and nibbled very little on the cold ham and cranberries and carrots. Erik frowned and said, "Don't tell me you have gone back to your old habits, Christine."

"Oh no…" I exclaimed. "I am not all that hungry." With that little blurt, I blushed scarlet. "Of course, I do not want to offend the cook. It is very delicious and I will try to eat more—"

"Christine!" Erik chided, shaking his head. "Silly thing. You are not going to offend the cook. If you're not hungry, you're not hungry. There is no need to eat yourself sick."

"But—"

"Not another word. I'm sorry I brought it up. Since you are finished, I'm sure you are exhausted from our trip and would want to retire. I will finish the tour tomorrow and I will show you the grounds of Manderley."

If there was anything about Manderley I was eager to see… it would be the grounds. That was the one particular area that people boasted about. Now that Erik mentioned, I was feeling rather fatigued. I wanted nothing more than to rest my poor head, but there was one thing that bothered me.

"What of our singing lesson?" I asked.

Erik clicked his tongue. "We will continue tomorrow evening. For now, I want my wife to go to her rooms and sleep as much as she can. You will need to replenish that energy for the rest that I have to show you."

My face was crestfallen as he referred to the rooms being my own. Was Erik not going to share a bed with me? After all those nights spent together… I assumed we would continue that in Manderley. I found myself very fond of Erik being so close and it helped make me feel safe. Oh, how I badly wanted to ask if he was going to stay with me! But I could not bring myself to ask him that and Erik guided me to the east wing.

As we approached the room, Mrs. Danvers was coming out of it. She saw us and bowed.

"Mrs. de Winter's belongings are already arranged. I have everything prepared so Mrs. de Winter can rest if she needs after a long day of traveling."

"Thank you Mrs. Danvers," Erik said. "That was very thoughtful of you, and yes, that is so true. We are both very tired from driving and turning in is certainly needed."

At his comment, I saw a sudden turn of surprise crossed over her face. "Mr. de Winter, you are not going to your room?"

"Of course I am. Mrs. de Winter's room is my room now. Go and fetch Anthony and make sure that by tomorrow night, all of my clothing and things are situated in with Mrs. de Winter."

"Yes sir." Mrs. Danvers took her leave not before she stole a glance at me. I could not make out what it was, but I did not care. No… I was too deliriously happy to know my husband was to share a room with me after all.

I did not have much of a chance to inspect our room for once our door was shut, Erik swept me up in his arms and pressed an ardent kiss on my lips. We may have been tired, but that did not stop us from reaching for one another and making love on our bed at our first night in Manderley. As we lay beneath the covers, Erik's hand curled around my waist as he held me.

The homecoming would have been perfect were it not for Erik being plagued once more of dreams of Luciana… her name an anguish cry roaring in my ears.

xxXXxx

My first morning at Manderley was a cold one as Erik was gone by the time I woke. I should have been used to it since it was not the first time Erik left me, but we were home now… Wouldn't that have changed? I sighed and pulled my knees to my chest. You silly nit. Erik hasn't been home in months and there would have to be things done that only he can oversee. How self-centered can you be?

Of course, Manderley was going to require his attention until we settle in. My remonstration thoroughly put any sadness away for the moment and I knew Erik would come back to me—he always did and I was content with that thought.

As Erik was not here, I was able to survey our room. It was quite charming with soft pastels and floral wallpaper and long, draping curtains over the one large window. To my right was a wide, white dresser with mirrors and privacy changing wall in the far left corner. There were two small tables on either end of the window, both with a glass vase that contained a prettily arrangement of redbud blossoms, white daisies, and lavender. The flowers permeated the room with its natural perfume and it gave me a warm feeling inside. Everything about the room was inviting and full of warmth and comfort. Even the four-poster bed with its cream-colored hardwood and ivory canopy was heavenly.

The styles suited me very well, and my cruel mind conjured images of Erik and Luciana waking together in this room. However, I did pause… remembering how surprised Mrs. Danvers was that Erik chose to sleep with me in this room and not his. Did he and Luciana sleep separately? It did not paint the idea of a couple very much in love and, he, a grieving widower.

A swift knock interrupted my thoughts and the door opened, revealing Mrs. Danvers and a girl who appeared to be a few years older than me.

"I see you're awake," Mrs. Danvers said nodding, and turned to the girl beside her. "This is Alice. She is to serve as your personal maid until yours arrives."

"I… I don't have a maid," I replied, my voice quiet as I knew this revealed I was not a lady of high class. Mrs. Danvers' expression did not waver nor change at my words, almost as if she was expecting that, and I hurriedly added, "I'm sure Alice will do fine as my maid."

Mrs. Danvers raised that thin brow and lifted her chin higher. "Alice is a chambermaid, not a personal maid." She said it like there was a distinct difference, which I did not know there was. "She will do temporarily until I find you one. Or do you have someone preferably in mind?"

"No, no," I answered, feeling rather stupid for not knowing this. "I trust your expertise Mrs. Danvers. Mrs. Danvers?"

"Yes Mrs. de Winter."

"I—" I could not lose my courage now. "The room…"

"Yes. Is it to your liking?"

"Very much," I told her. "I love the colors."

"I'm pleased. It was Mr. de Winter's specific instructions that the east wing was decorated for you."

"It wasn't like this before?" I frowned. "I hope you didn't go to too much trouble."

"Not at all Madam. This room was used for an occasional guest of the de Winters."

"So… Mr. de Winter and the late Mrs. de Winter did not share this room?"

At this, Mrs. Danvers bristled. "No. They had the room in the west wing. That is the grandest room of all in Manderley and it has a very lovely view of the sea below. The east wing overlooks the rose garden."

"Oh." I was naïve to think Erik would want to share the same room with me as he did with his late wife. Of course, he wouldn't. "I can't even hear the sea."

"No you can't."

I bit my lip. The way she said it… It was evident that she thought this room was inferior and it made me wonder why Erik would want me to have this room at all.

"If that's all, then Alice will dress you. Breakfast is in the dining room. I will discuss with you later about the menus."

I meekly nodded as she left the room. I looked over to Alice who stared at me with impatience. "What would Mrs. de Winter like to wear?"

xxXXxx

Once I was dressed, I made my way down a small flight of stairs that took me to a huge door and down the hall that eventually took me into the main corridor. In a brief moment of panic, I forgot where the dining room was and all the rooms were closed and the doors all looked the same to me. A couple of maids walked past me, both stopping to wish me a good morning. I did the same and I wanted to ask where to go, but my tongue felt heavy in the mouth. How could a mistress not know where her dining room was? I was positive the late Mrs. de Winter knew exactly where to go and she would not carry the thought of asking any of the servants.

I kept my head held high as I walked down the hall with such confidence in where I was heading. Their footsteps echoed behind me and I instantly relaxed as I was now alone. I looked from door to door, wondering which one I should try first. I chose the closest one to my left and I heard Anthony saying, "That'll be the library Mrs. de Winter."

I blushed, my hand falling to my side as I turned around. Anthony then lifted his arm and pointed to an entry to another hall. "The dining room is this way." He proceeded to step in that direction and I followed, knowing I had to. Sure enough, there it was. I mumbled a thank you too embarrassed that I did in fact walked past it.

Erik was already there, reading the newspaper, and drinking his coffee. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Anthony announced in a booming voice: "Mrs. de Winter, sir."

My blush only deepened when Erik looked up at me. "There you are my wife! I was wondering what delayed you."

"It appears Mrs. de Winter was turned around looking for the dining room," Anthony supplied for me and I couldn't help but lower my chin. Why did Erik have to know? I heard him fold the paper as he chuckled.

"She did? Well, I suppose that was my own fault. Thank you Anthony."

The butler nodded and walked out. I continued to stand, my face too red to look at him.

"Christine?" Erik's melodic voice called to me and I couldn't help but obey as I lifted my eyes to him, finding him right in front of me. There was no teasing or mocking in his eyes and he gave me an affectionate grin. "I'm sorry for that. I should have gone up to get you, but I lost track of time. You poor dear. I bet you were quite lost."

I didn't have to say anything, my silence and red cheeks did that for me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "Good morning," he said huskily, tilting my chin to give me a kiss. I forgot why I was upset in the first place when I drew back and said the greeting back.

"You must be hungry," he said, leading me over to a long table that was covered in silver platters and trays and dishes. He lifted the lid of each one to show me the scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, French toast, assorted pastries, fresh fruit, and biscuits. "I already ate but go on and pick whatever you like."

I was baffled with the amount of food. There was enough to feed ten or more people! Surely, this could not be all for just us two!

I reached for a plate and added a scoop of eggs, a couple slices of bacon, a sausage, and some fruit. As I turned towards the table, Erik was pouring me a cup of tea. He returned to his seat when I was settled, and picked up his paper to continue to read. I picked at my eggs, my gaze flicking up to my husband. It was too quiet and I longed for his conversation, but he seemed engrossed in his paper that I could not interrupt.

The minutes ticked by as did half my eggs. I felt I couldn't stomach another bite. Another minute went by and I finally blurted, "When are we going to see more of Manderley?"

Erik glanced at me, remorse flashing in his eyes. "Oh Christine," he murmured. "I'm afraid it will have to be later. I forgot but I need to visit my tenants. I should be back before six and we can continue our lessons."

"Could I come with you?" The idea of being in Manderley alone… it was not a pleasant feeling.

"I'm afraid this is something I need to do myself. Perhaps next time you can and meet them. I know they would be interested in meeting Mrs. de Winter," Erik said gently, trying to cheer me up with the compromise. "If you need anything, you can call on Anthony or Mrs. Danvers."

I didn't want to call on them, especially not Mrs. Danvers. There was something about the woman that unnerved me, but I couldn't explain why. I didn't want to tell Erik that since she had been here at Manderley for years and he had to have good reason to keep her on. I knew I was being childish and I wanted to do better, but I could not find a decent thing about that woman.

"All right," I conceded with defeat.

"Now, now," Erik chided. "You will have a splendid time without me. There are many spots for you to draw and I know you will not find yourself bored. I must go but we will have dinner together." He kissed me and before he left, he added, "Do not starve yourself waiting for me."

I knew he meant it in jest, but I hadn't the heart to tell him that the reason for my lack of appetite was due to when I'm anxious or when I'm despaired. With Erik gone, the delicious aromas were sour to me and I could not finish what was left on my plate.

Anthony came in and he halted when he saw my plate. He went over to the table and checked the food. "Was it to your liking Madam? If not, I could see if Cook—"

"No!" I exclaimed. "No… it's all very good and there's nothing wrong. I'm… I'm full."

He gave me an odd look, and then nodded. "Would Mrs. de Winter like to go and write her letters?"

A distraction of any kind was welcomed and I eagerly responded, "Yes. Thank you Anthony." Of course, I had no one to write to and the only possible person I could think of was Mrs. Van Hopper. Anthony did not know and I was not going to volunteer that tidbit to him.

I stood and walked out to the hall. I paused, not sure where I should go, but I didn't want him to catch me in hesitation or anyone else. I wandered down and came across a door made out of shining ebony.

Intrigued, I pushed it opened and gasped.

TBC…