2-21-17: Minor edits made, notes removed.

Challenge: Reno, Tseng, Sephiroth, Zack, War.

"I shall lead the spoon war to victory!" Zack shouts out in the middle of the mess hall, waving his spoon around and nearly hitting Reno in the face. Reno glares at him and takes a sip of his tea.

"Really? I thought my toothbrush was in charge of the spoons," Reno says thoughtfully, dodging another attempt by Zack to hit him in the face. Tseng and Sephiroth blink and look at him.

"Reno, would you kindly explain to us what in the hell is going on?" Sephiroth asks, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin before taking another bite of spaghetti. Tseng shrugs, not really caring either way so long as it didn't result in someone getting hurt.

"Apparently the spoons, my toothbrush and Zack have declared war on Hojo and the socks," Reno says, shrugging. He knew he should've checked behind the potted plant. Tseng raises an eyebrow, recognizing most of it from the random stuff Reno acts out on his desk to entertain himself.

"Let me guess, Rufus gave you a spoon too. And then Zack gave you your mated socks," Sephiroth says, puzzling it out. He too was quite aware of Reno's little entertainment. "Since he hasn't returned mine I'm guessing you have it." Reno grins.

"Actually I have a sock threesome," Reno says. Tseng and Sephiroth stare at him for a moment and raise their eyebrows, deciding not to ask. Sephiroth continues on.

"And Zack is an idiot," Sephiroth adds, swirling his fork around his plate and shoving it into his mouth. Tseng blinks and looks around.

"Where did he go?" Tseng asks, looking around for the spiky haired SOLDIER who had quite mysteriously disappeared. Reno shrugs and Sephiroth continues eating. Zack may be an idiot but he's more than capable of taking care of himself.

Hojo runs screaming past, making them all jump and turn to watch as Zack rides in on President Shinra's second chocobo, waving a spoon around and shouting something completely and totally idiotic.

Of course he's also capable of getting himself into more trouble than he can handle.

A friend of mine ships Reno/Inanimate Objects because of this fic. What's sad is, it's entirely plausible in this fic and in several others.

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing