CHAPTER 9 – I DON'T JUST SHARE WITH ANYONE
Andy sat across from Merle. The pair tore through their dinner hungrily. Andy had been eating squirrel as her only source of protein for weeks now. She bit down again in to the flesh of the rabbit, chewing slowly, savouring the flavour. She had helped Carol take Ed back to their tent earlier that afternoon. The walk had her brain whirring with mixed emotions. Hatred for Ed, pity for Carol, concern for Daryl. She had never seen the man so angry, in fact, she had never seen any man so angry. Her brow furrowed in worry as she thought about the man. He had swiftly stormed off towards the tents and she had wanted nothing more than to follow, but her friend needed her, and the other women didn't seem too eager to help. When Andy had managed to get back to the tents, a pre-prepared speech ready in her head, Daryl was nowhere to be seen. She was greeted instead, by Merle holding two fat rabbits up by their feet, a wide smile plastered across his face. She had returned the smile with difficulty, her concern for Daryl prominent in her mind.
"Ain't had rabbit in so long, I gon' forgo' wha' it taste like!" Merle exclaimed, his mouth full. Andy grinned, her mouth stuffed full of rabbit. She swallowed the mouthful, smacking her lips.
"You've got that right, Merle." She replied, "This tastes better than steak!" Merle laughed in reply.
"Don' ge' too ahead o' ya'self, girl, I'd give up ma' right hand for'a steak righ' 'bout now!" he said, still laughing. "An' thas' sayin' somethin'!" he made a jerking gesture with his right hand, making Andy choke on her food with laughter.
"Merle!" she bellowed, throwing a rabbit foot at the man. She was clutching her stomach, doubling over with laughter. Merle had a direct line to her funny bone, that much was certain.
Merle threw a pile of bones in to the fire pit and patted his stomach. "Thank'ya very much, lil' brotha" he mused. Andy immediately descended in to guilt. She had been laughing and joking with Merle, and had entirely forgotten the reason she had walked back to the tents in the first place. Daryl. And he was still nowhere to be seen.
"Where is Daryl, anyway?" she asked Merle, trying her best to remain nonchalant.
"Daryl? Wen' ta' tha' woods. Looked pissed off a' summin'. Left him to it." He said, indifferent, shrugging his shoulders.
"But it's getting dark." Andy pointed out, looking to the sky. The sun had started to set, and the light was fading quickly. "Do you think he will be back soon?"
Merle's shoulders shook as he chuckled. "Ya' don' need ta' worry 'bout Daryl, girl. He's spent more time in tha woods than anywhere else."
Andy smiled at Merle, feigning agreement. It was clear Merle knew nothing about what had happened earlier that day with Ed, and Andy worried about Daryl alone in the woods, familiar or not. Andy didn't realise how long she had been sat watching the tree line until Merle rose, grunting.
"Well, 'm gonna' call it a night, English. If ya' get cold, ya' can always snuggle on up with ol' Merle!" he told her with a wink.
Andy laughed at the man, "I'll keep that in mind, Merle!" He flashed Andy a toothy grin as he ducked in to his tent.
"Make sure ya' do!" he called as he zipped the door of his tent closed.
Andy chuckled to herself, relishing Merle's sense of humour. After a day like today, she had needed a good laugh. The jokes she'd shared with the girls that afternoon had seemed a lifetime away. Andy pulled her cigarette box from her pocket and flipped the lid. She peered inside, one cigarette left rolling around the packet. She removed it from the box and turned it in her fingers. Her last cigarette. She looked at it and resumed twirling in her fingers longingly.
A quiet groan startled her, making her look up. Her gaze met Daryl's instantly, he was looking down at her with distaste. Saying nothing, he made his way to his tent.
"Hey, Daryl!" she called softly making him turn slowly.
"Mmm?" he grumbled, annoyed. It was clear the man did not want to talk, Andy suspected he had intended to sneak back to camp unnoticed, but Andy intended to check he was alright.
"Come, sit" she told him patting the ground next to her. Daryl looked back towards his tent and began to walk towards it. Andy's shoulders drooped and she sighed in disappointment. She watched sadly as the hunter unzipped his tent and crawled inside. But her expression soon changed to a wide smile when she saw the man push the door back open. Daryl walked towards Andy gingerly, his expression quizzical.
"What'cha' smilin' at?" he asked folding his arms across his chest. Andy felt the heat in her cheeks rise and silently pleaded that he couldn't see the blush on her face in the night.
"Nothing!" Andy exclaimed, a little too quickly, and she cursed herself with embarrassment. She patted the ground again, eager to change the conversation. "Come sit with me." Daryl grumbled something about the time of night and not even having a watch shift, yet he lowered himself next to her, crossing his legs. Andy could feel the awkwardness creeping up and racked her brain for something to say. She then realised she was still twirling her last remaining cigarette between her fingers and glanced sideways at Daryl. If anyone needed a nicotine hit today, it was him. She put the cigarette to her lips and fished in her pocket for her lighter. "Fuck" she grumbled, stuffing her hands in to her pockets, her fingers finding everything but her lighter.
"C'mere." Daryl muttered holding up a zippo. He flicked the top off the lighter and sparked the flint. He held the flame towards Andy and she leaned towards his hand, holding the cigarette between her teeth. As she pulled on the cigarette, igniting the end, she glanced up at Daryl through her fringe. He was looking down at the ground, his other hand was bundled around a clump of grass, and Andy could tell he was uncomfortable. She leant back, giving him some space. She noticed the tension body relax a little and she broke a small smile to herself, talking a long drag of her cigarette.
"Here." He said nudging Daryl with the back of her hand. She felt his body tense once more, but she ignored it and smiled at him as he looked up at her. He didn't return the smile, but looked at her with a scowl. She only smiled wider, more than used to the expression he always wore. She gestured towards him again with her hand, offering him the cigarette. Daryl shook his head at Andy.
"Nah, ya' have it. Ya' shared enough with me." He looked back down at the floor and Andy felt a wave of sadness come over her. She had an urge to reach out and comfort him, but she revaluated her thought, certain he wouldn't appreciate it.
"Don't be silly, Daryl, I don't mind sharing." She resumed smiling at him and moved to place the cigarette between his fingers. She felt embarrassed as he flinched when their fingers brushed one another. It was Andy's turn to glare at the ground as she rubbed her hand, baffled over the electricity she had felt pass between them. She stole a glance at Daryl, convinced he had felt the same judging by his facial expression that matched hers. Andy shook off the feeling at searched for a point of topic. She had planned exactly what to say to Daryl, about what had happened, but now everything she had planned as vanished from her mind, and the last thing she wanted to do was scare him away.
"So, your charming older brother offered me a spot in his sleeping bag if I got cold tonight." She told Daryl, sniggering. She turned to look at Daryl, who was still looking forward, rather than at her, but she noticed the ever so subtle smile that threatened to appear on his lips. She silently praised herself and continued.
"I mean in July? In Georgia?" she exclaimed, laughing. The corners of Daryl's mouth twitched. "At least… I think its July. Damn hot enough to be July anyway!" Daryl's mouth broke in to a smile and he chuckled shaking his head. A wide grin spread on Andy's face and a laughed bubbled in her mouth. She clapped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from waking the entire camp.
"Thas' Merle all over." Daryl said, taking another pull on the cigarette. "Always knows whatta' say ta' women." He handed the cigarette back to Andy and she thanked him taking a long drag. She exhaled and looked at Daryl, narrowing her eyes in a playful way.
"If that's what you call it." She said, still giggling, "I'd sooner camp with someone a little less… well… chatty." She said making air quotations with her fingers, winking at Daryl. Daryl's eyes widened at her comment, and he dropped his gaze to the ground once more, looking embarrassed. Andy smirked at the man. She was still in awe over the thought of Daryl being so shy around women. The rugged exterior of the man screamed lady killer, but the way he couldn't keep eye contact or the way he would tense up under the slightest touch told Andy otherwise. A part of her loved teasing the man with subtle jokes. She couldn't help but enjoy the way he froze up when she made a suggestive joke. And a joke it was, well, that is what she told herself.
"So, ya' gonna' take up Merle's offer, then?" he muttered, still casting his gaze downward, "Shack up wi' him?" he had begun plucking blades of grass from the ground, trying to give his hands something to do. He was trying to pretend he didn't care. He didn't want to care. But somewhere within him he cared, and it confused the hell out of him.
"No, Daryl." She replied to him, passing the cigarette back. He muttered a thanks as he took it from her, trying his best not to skim her fingers again. "Besides…" she said meeting Daryl's eyes, "I don't just share with anyone." Daryl brought the cigarette to his lips and took a long pull. Realisation hit him like a bus when he processed what she had just said. He took in a sharp breath and choked on the smoke, coughing as he exhaled. He glanced back towards Andy, expecting to see her mocking face as he spluttered on the smoke, but was met instead with a sweet smile. He cleared his throat once more and looked into her eyes. He could just make out the deep blue colour of them in the moonlight, and started to take in the features of her face. Her long lashes, her messy black hair draped around her shoulders. He passed his gaze over her mouth and noticed her smile, still firmly in place. His own mouth betrayed him as the left side of his lips hooked into a slanted smile. He looked back in to her eyes and noticed she was still looking back in to his. Daryl's face flushed and he pulled his eyes away, his hands tearing at the grass.
"Daryl…" Andy practically purred. Daryl dared to look back. Her smile had now turned sad, and he furrowed his brow, predicting what she way about to say.
"Don'" he told the woman, shaking his head. But Andy was persistent.
"Daryl, about this afternoon…" Daryl cut her off.
"Woman, I said don'." He grumbled. Andy shuffled closer towards the hunter, and she saw the familiar sight of his body freezing up.
"Daryl, we're doing this whether you like it or not." She told him. He opened his mouth to protest, but she held a finger up to silence him. "Daryl." She said firmly. "Thank you." Daryl began chewing on his thumbnail, unsure of what to say. He was surprised she was still even talking to him, let alone thanking him. He was expecting a speech about how everyone hated him, about how she was wrong about him and he really was a good for nothing redneck, and that she really would prefer his brother's company… "What you did today was brave. Ed was a danger to us, he is a danger to us. You did the right thing. I know the others may not think that now, but they will see. Who knows what he could have done to Carol? He could have killed her for all we know. She has been showing up with cuts and bruises for a long time now." Sighing, Daryl let his hand fall in to his lap.
"I shouldn'a hit him." He muttered quietly.
"Look." Andy said, making him meet her eyes once more, "You did what you had to do. What's done is done, there is no point in beating yourself up over it now. You did what was best for the group, and you might not think that, but I really do. He was beating his wife, Daryl. His wife! For all we know he could be doing the same to his daughter."
"Don'." He whispered. Andy watched his scowl become more serious. Her eyebrows contracted as she thought about why Daryl was so affected her mentioning of Sophia. Had something happened to him before? Did he have a child? A sister? A million questions rested on the tip of her tongue, part of her itching to ask them. Though she knew better, so instead she said, "Hey, it's getting late, we should call it a night." Daryl grumbled an inaudible reply. She smiled sadly at the man, his tough exterior almost cracking in front of her eyes. He had looked downward again and had resumed chewing on his thumbnail to avoid conversation. She immediately worried that she had made the man feel uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable in the way she had earlier enjoyed, but uncomfortable in a way that caused her stomach to flip in an unfamiliar way. Determine to deter his feelings, she lent close to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. She once again felt every muscle in his body freeze up under her un-invited contact. She pretended to remain oblivious as she leant her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes, savouring the moment. Daryl remained tense, but he did not pull away, which gave Andy comfort. She prayed that he was feeling some of that comfort, even if it didn't seem so.
They sat like that for a length of time neither Daryl nor Andy could have measured. Eventually, Andy began to nod off on Daryl's shoulder, and she snapped her eyes open, startling herself.
Daryl hadn't even felt drowsy. He could have sat there all night. Slowly, he had relaxed. He hadn't noticed, but somehow, his arm had found its way around Andy's waist. Andy jolted awake on his shoulder, making him snatch his arm away at lightning speed. He squeezed his eyes shut and had begged that she hadn't noticed where it had rested moments before.
Andy looked up at Daryl, her eyes heavy with tiredness. "Getta' bed, woman." He muttered, shrugging her off of him and standing up. Her gaze followed him as he moved his weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say. She stood up, yawning and they made their way back towards their tents. They both ducked down to unzip their tent doors and a mischievous thought went through her mind. She couldn't help but voice it.
"I'll let you know if I get cold." She told him, winking. She didn't wait to see his reaction as she crawled in to her tent, hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle.
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