A/N: TRIGGER WARNING: Rape, and explaining what's happened in the time since the rape.
Clary ignored all texts or calls from Simon. He left voicemail after voicemail, text after text, all demanding the same thing.
Why did you end things with Jace?
Clary didn't know where to begin, on how to explain why she did what she did. And there was no guarantee that Sebastian wouldn't make sure Simon stayed out, too.
Clary couldn't risk Simon, too. She'd already brought Jace in too close, almost into the line of fire. It would've burned them both.
Clary spent all weekend in her room, claiming she felt ill. And she did feel ill, and she'd thrown up seven times in the last few days.
She blamed it on how horrible she felt about what she said to Jace. Anyone would be sick over that kind of situation.
"Clarissa?"
Clary looked up from her sketchpad, charcoal coloring her hands and fingers grey. Jocelyn leaned against the doorjam, her red hair piled in a messy bun. A single lock of red hair fell along her face. Laugh lines graced her lips and eyes.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"Yeah, a little."
"You're sketching. Been awhile since I've seen you sketch."
Jocelyn dropped onto the bed by Clary, leaning back against the headboard, crossing her legs at the ankle. Clary laid her sketchpad down and leaned her head on her mother's shoulder.
"Mom, if…if I kept a secret from you, hypothetically, how angry would you be?"
"It really depends on the secret. Does it have to do with drugs or alcohol?"
"Not exactly."
Jocelyn remained quiet for a moment, rolling that answer over in her head before speaking again.
"Clary, no matter the secret, you can tell me when you're good and ready, okay, sweetie?"
Clary nodded, grateful for her mother. She was like a rock. A single tear rolled down her face. God, she was a mess. A super fucking mess.
"Maybe you can tell me why Jace hasn't been around lately? Or why you've been avoiding Simon like he's got the plague?"
"It's a really, really long story, mom. I'm not even sure where to begin. But when I know where to start, I'll get back to you on that."
"Okay, Clare-bear."
Where do I even begin?
"It's Clary. I'm probably painting and have loud music playing. Leave a message at the beep."
Simon swore and hung up. Izzy rubbed his arm, her fingers skimming over his skin.
"Is she still not answering?"
"I'm still getting her voicemail. And she's getting my voicemails, because her mailbox isn't getting full. But she's just choosing to not respond to my calls and texts."
Izzy remained quiet, turning his hand over in hers, tracing the lines that made up his palm. Simon pressed a kiss to her temple, then rested his cheek on her head.
"Simon… I need to talk to you. And you need to not freak out, okay?"
"You're not breaking up with me, are you?"
"Of course not! Dummy, we just went on our first Valentine's Day date. Why would I end things?"
"Honestly, Izzy, it was a stupid question of me to ask."
Izzy sat up, took a deep breath and braced herself for the explosion to follow.
Jace had never felt so…destroyed. It was like he'd been crushed under an elephant. He could barely breath.
He hadn't heard from Clary in days, not a single text or call. Simon's tried to get ahold of her, but to no avail. The fact that she even refused to answer Simon's calls and texts proved that she was avoiding them both.
Jace has no idea what had changed her, why she'd suddenly wanted nothing to do with him. But he hurt, bad.
"I've never seen you so… broken. Jace, what the hell happened to you?"
Alec sat in the chair in the corner of his room, legs over the arm, a book in his hands. Jace sat up against the headboard of his bed, just sitting there with his phone balanced on his knee.
Other than to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, go to school and sleep, he has not left nor moved from his room in over a week.
Alec, Izzy and Simon had been around since Clary told him that she wanted no part of their friendship anymore. Nothing they said or did helped him in the slightest.
They had been friends. She'd trusted him with her secret, the one that haunted and tormented her every day for the last two months. Whatever she did, she did for a reason.
And Jace would find out what it was.
A door slammed downstairs, and two pairs of footsteps climbed the stairs leading to Jace's room. The door was shoved open, and Simon and Izzy entered the room.
Izzy looked like she'd been crying, and Simon looked like he'd blown a gasket. Alec sat up in the chair, and Jace climbed off his bed.
"What happened? What did you do, Simon?"
"I didn't do anything! Trust me when I say I didn't. Izzy, you need to tell them what you told me."
Simon slipped his hand through hers, pressing his lips to her forehead. Her eyes closed, and she let a shaky breath out, wringing her hands together.
"I was raped at a party seven months ago. And I've struggled so much trying to stay strong. I refused to even acknowledge that I'd been raped, locking it away. But I can't stay strong like this anymore, guys."
Tears rolled down her face, and Alec stood, wrapping his arms around his sister's shoulders as she cried. Jace was stock still on the bed, a million thoughts running through his head.
"Izzy…"
Izzy peeked out from Alec's arms, her face red and puffy from all the crying she'd done between Simon's house and Jace's house.
"Yes, Jace?"
"Do you happen to know who it was?"
Izzy backed out of Alec's grasp, and looked up at Simon. He gave her an encouraging nod, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her back into him. He was lending her his strength.
"I-It… It was Sebastian, Jace. I'm so sorry. I should've said something when it happened, but he threatened Alec. He said he'd hurt him if I ever said anything."
Alec and Jace both stood there, ticking like a time bomb. Jace could see Alec getting red in the face. Jace felt the rage burning inside.
His own fucking brother, for fuck's sake.
But they've had dinner every month before and since then, and he never fucking noticed? That's why Izzy was so formal with him every time they had dinner.
"Jace, please tell me your brother isn't home."
"No, he's not."
Clary paced back and forth in her room, wiping the tears that trailed down her face. Jocelyn had left some time ago with Luke, granting Clary a much-needed reprieve to allow her to cry it out and figure out her next move.
She needed to think. She had to tell Jocelyn and Luke. They weren't as close to Sebastian as Jace was. And if he threatened them, she would kill him.
A rock hit her window, and she stopped, feeling her stomach sink unpleasantly. Sebastian had eyes everywhere. He would know where she lived.
Clary sidled up to the window, and felt her heart skip a beat. Jace's blonde halo of hair glinted in the sun, and he waved slightly. She opened the window and leaned out it.
"Jace, what on Earth are you doing here? I told you—"
"Shut up for a minute, Clary, please. I need to talk and if you could listen, that'd be great."
Clary sighed, and then nodded.
"Izzy was raped, too, Clary. And she's an absolute train wreck, and we—Alec and I—have no idea to console her. I thought you could help."
Clary was shaking her head before she even thought about it. If she got too close again, Sebastian would go after Jace. It was a risk she couldn't take.
"I can't, Jace. It'll be too much for me."
"Clary, I'm begging you."
God, how could she say no?
"Fine. But I'm only going for Izzy, okay?"
"Clary!"
Izzy looked like she'd been through hell. Her makeup was gone, and her face was red and puffy. She was holed up a guest room, but Simon was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, Izzy. Where's Simon?"
"Alec and Simon are holed up in the drawing room. They're trying to stay calm. Thankfully, Jace is being a referee. But why are you here?"
"Jace came and got me. Thought I might be of some assistance."
Clary took Izzy's hands in her own and squeezed them tightly. Izzy let out a little sob, and the flood began. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and Izzy was shaking so much.
"How could you assist me, Clary? How?"
"Because I went through the same thing you went through. I was raped, too, Izzy."
Her dark brown eyes widened, wet from the tears that fell down her face. Clary took a deep breath, wringing her hands together. She could feel the anxiety building, but she needed to keep calm, for Izzy.
"It was this past November. It was the weekend after Thanksgiving. It was a party, just a party. I had left my friends to go to the bathroom, and my rapist shoved me into a room, slapped me into submission, and raped me. I've developed an addict to cigarettes and alcohol, and I've had anxiety and PTSD ever since. Nightmares, too."
Izzy wiped the tears away, covering her face for a moment before releasing a shaky breath. Clary didn't speak, just let Izzy calm down.
"I-I have avoided everything that reminds me of that night. I hid the dress I was wearing that night from my sight, I deleted all the photos from that night. I even stopped talking to the friends and people I was with and had seen that night. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to remember the night I lost my virginity."
"I'm gonna tell you something, okay? But please keep it in strict confidence."
Izzy nodded, and Clary began with her story, retelling the worst night of her life, and the person who destroyed her.
Jace was pacing in the drawing room, waiting. The boys agreed to confront Sebastian about what he'd done to Izzy. He'd texted his brother to find out if he was on his way.
He would be home any second.
"Are you guys sure about this? Because once we do this, we can't go back."
"Of course we are. He hurt Izzy. And not only hurt Izzy, but practically lied to you as well. Who knows how long he's done this for, or who else he's done this to."
The front door opened with a loud creak, and the boys looked at each other, nodding in agreement. Jace opened the door to the drawing room and stepped out.
"Sebastian, we need to talk."
A/N # 2: Woo, long chapter. Alright, guys, so in the next chapter or maybe the one after, I might get to the end of this fanfiction. There will be an epilogue, which will help lead into the sequel! I've been very grateful for the follows, the reviews, and the favorites! I know I haven't said anything before, but that's because I've got a shitty memory and kept forgetting! Anyway, I'll see you all in the next update! Later, gators!
-MalecismyOTP17