A/N – Thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 10 - Heartfelt

Monica stepped inside and gasped when her eyes met Jason's. "Oh my God," she said as Francis steadied her.

"Mom?" Jason said.

Monica started to move towards him, but she saw his body jerk and stopped. She had thought they were beyond that so she was confused.

"I'm sorry. I have PTSD. You can hug me now," he said closing the distance between them.

She hugged him lightly not sure what had happened to him. Jason held her and closed his eyes. There was something comforting about it that made him feel good.

They pulled apart and Elizabeth stood.

"Elizabeth, how do you know my son?"

"She found me. I'll explain everything," Jason said quietly.

Elizabeth touched his arm and Jason looked at her as if he was trying to find strength and their gaze held for a long moment as Monica watched their connection.

Liz smiled at Monica and she went upstairs while Francis went back outside.

"Have a seat," Jason said motioning towards the couch.

Monica sat and wiped her face. "I thought they were going to tell me that you were dead."

Jason sighed. "Sorry we're being so covert. It's just that my return is a secret for now. You can't tell anyone."

"Not even Emily?"

Jason shook his head. "Not yet. I'll probably be here at least another week. I need to be in better shape before I go back to the penthouse."

Monica nodded. "What happened Jason?"

Jason leaned forward and covered his face with his hands for a moment. "I was kidnapped and tortured for about five months. It was pretty horrific. They broke me and then left me to die. I was in bad shape. I'm not telling a lot of people this part, but I was raped repeatedly as well."

Monica's gasped. "Oh Jason."

"She wanted to have a baby and get revenge on Sonny."

Monica was trying not to cry, but imagining what Jason was telling her was killing her.

"Over two weeks ago, Elizabeth's car broke down and she found a cabin in the woods to take shelter in. She heard my chains and found the basement and she freed me and took me upstairs and took care of me. Francis and the guys had seen her by the road and were following her and they found us. I was a complete mess. They brought us here and I've been trying to get myself together."

"Are you talking to someone?"

He nodded. "Yeah, you know him. Dr. Collins."

Monica nodded. Kevin had recently taken some emergency time off and now she knew why. "What can I do?"

"Nothing. I'm learning to deal with the flashbacks. I can calm myself pretty well now. I still don't like people touching me unless it's Elizabeth or Francis."

Monica gave him a soft smile. "She sounds like she's incredible."

"She is and she kind of knows what I've been through."

Monica knew about Elizabeth's rape. In fact, she had been in the hospital when it happened. She just didn't really know her personally.

"I'm glad that she was able to help you through this."

"Robin came and helped too. She examined me and gave me some medicine."

"That would explain why she kept bursting out in tears a few weeks ago. I thought that maybe Patrick had done something stupid."

Jason smirked. "Well, I still wouldn't put that past him."

Monica smiled. "I'm surprised Carly isn't here.

"Well, that's another thing. I've been kind of cleaning house. We're on a break."

Monica looked at him in shock. "Wow."

"Yeah, well Kevin is helping me see how I was surrounding myself with the wrong people."

"What are you going to do about Sonny?"

"I'm still going to work for him running the coffee warehouse. It's legit and that should keep me busy."

Monica nodded. It wasn't what she hoped he'd say, but it was a start. "And where does Elizabeth fit in?"

"Well, we're getting to know each other, but I want her in my life and I'm hoping that once I'm in a good place, we can date."

Monica smiled. "I'm actually glad to hear that. I think she'll be good for you."

"Me too, but I'm just scared that the more she knows about my life and who I am, the more she'll want to leave."

Monica touched his hand. "Oh Jason, regardless of all that, you have such a big heart and you're trying to move forward."

Jason grew very quiet for a minute. "I—I just want to tell you that I'm sorry."

Monica wiped a tear away. Over the last few years, Jason had been allowing her into his life, but they never had a conversation about the accident and she felt they were about to.

"I was so horrible after the accident. I was just so mixed up and I didn't know how to be what you needed. In fact, I was so angry that the more you guys reached out to me, the more I lashed out. I wanted to hurt you and I did."

"Jason , I know why you did what you did. It hurt. I'm not going to lie. We loved you so much and it was so hard for us to have you live only to lose you. Maybe we didn't handle it well and ended up doing the one thing we didn't want to which was to push you away."

"After I got involved with Sonny, I expected you to accept me for who I had become when truly I don't think I liked myself very much at all."

Tears started to form in his eyes which completely took Monica off guard. She hugged him tightly. "Oh Jason, I know you are hurting so badly right now and I'm so sorry that stupid woman hurt you. I want to be there for you. Will you let me?"

Jason pulled back and took a deep breath. "Yes."

"Thank you. Jason, I don't think I'll ever feel okay about you killing people, but just because I don't like your choices, doesn't mean that I don't love my son. I hope you can see that distinction now."

Jason nodded.

"Can I at least tell Lila?"

"How is she?"

"She has her good and bad days, but she's been healthier lately."

"I don't mind if you tell her. It might be a while before I visit, but tell her that I love her."

"Thank you. And you really should think about telling Emily. She's been miserable without you and you two were so close."

"I'll talk to her next week. I promise."

"May I hug you again?"

Jason smiled. "Yes."

Monica embraced him eagerly. Her son might be shattered, but he is alive and healing. That is all that mattered.

liIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

Lucky walked into the Haunted Star.

"What's up cowboy?" Luke asked. "You look a little down."

Lucky sighed and sat on a stool. "She's back."

"Helena?"

"No, Elizabeth."

Luke sat down. "Oh."

"I ran into her at Kelly's."

"And?"

"She's beautiful, but the way she looked at me made me sick to my stomach."

"Lucky, you didn't mean for her to get hurt."

"I know that dad, but she did and I've lived with that guilt for a long time."

"Maybe you and Elizabeth need to sit down and have a talk."

"Maybe, but I'll only do it if she initiates it. I'm not going to cause her more pain."

Luke nodded. "Just don't beat yourself up over something that you can't go back and change. It doesn't do anybody any good."

"Old habits are hard to break."

"Tell me something that I don't already know."

liIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

Elizabeth smiled as she ended the call.

"What's up?" Jason asked.

"I start at GH on Monday."

Jason smiled. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. I'm kind of itching to go back. I think it's the excitement."

"Are you saying that I'm not exciting enough?"

Liz chuckled. "You're never boring, Jason."

"Some would think so."

"Well, there is no accounting for people's tastes."

"We should talk about what I said earlier."

Liz sighed. "Jason, I didn't know you back then and from what you are saying, maybe I wouldn't have liked you. But, I'd also like to think that somehow maybe you would have opened up to me and I would see someone different than everyone else saw just like we are doing now. Maybe that's silly or me being naïve, but I know who you are and I know I should probably run, but for some reason, I can't. There is so much more to you then what you give yourself credit for. We are both trying to change our lives for the better and I'm not bailing on you."

"Thank you." He didn't think he deserved Elizabeth, but he was grateful that she was in his life. "I need to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"In two weeks there's a hospital charity function at the Metro Court. Apparently, Sam is going to be there."

Elizabeth frowned. "She'd come out in public?"

"She doesn't think anyone knows what she did."

"True. So, you want to go to this dinner and face her?" Elizabeth asked tentatively.

"Yes. I need to send a message."

"Jason, you will be in public. You could have a flashback when you see her."

"Kevin has been working with me about that. When he'd first hold up her picture, I'd freak out, but now I only have a slight reaction. Besides, I was hoping that you would be there with me."

Elizabeth sighed. "I'm scared for you, but of course I wouldn't let you go alone."

Jason let out the breath he was holding. He knew it was risky, but it was something he had to face.

Elizabeth smiled.

"What?"

"This means I get to shopping for a dress."

Jason chuckled. "Actually, I was hoping you'd let me take care of everything."

She gave him a look. "Really?"

"Really."

"Okay, I guess."

"You don't trust me?"

"I didn't know you had an eye for fashion."

Jason smiled. "I don't, but my lawyer does. She should be here any minute actually. One more thing..."

"Yes."

"If you're seen in public with me, it means that my enemies will know that you mean something to me. You sure you can handle that?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I understand. It was going to happen at some point. I trust you to protect me."

"Thank you."

A few minutes later Diane breezed into the room. "Hello Jason," she said smiling. Jason had given Francis permission to tell Diane what had happened and they had briefly talked as well.

"Hey Diane."

"I have the papers you need to sign. And who is this beautiful creature?"

Elizabeth blushed.

"That is Elizabeth."

Diane smiled. "Your skin is just gorgeous. I'm sure Jason has already told you that I'll be dressing you for the dinner. You just need to give me your sizes and I'll take care of everything."

Elizabeth didn't know what to say. "Okay, thanks."

Diane chuckled. She could already tell that Elizabeth was different because she seemed really uncomfortable. "Relax, you're going to look absolutely stunning."

Diane and Jason started to chat about business and Elizabeth went upstairs to give them some privacy. In two weeks, Jason was going to go back to life and she wasn't sure what that would entail. The safe house was like living in your own little world. And even though she was excited about going back to work, she would also have to face everyone. The girl who had gotten raped was back and unfortunately, that was the first thing that people would remember.

Jason watched her deep in thought from the doorway. He wasn't sure whether to interrupt or not but. then Elizabeth turned and their gaze met.

"You look like you have something on your mind."

"I was just thinking how everything is going to change."

Jason walked towards her and hugged her. "I know. I won't lie and say I'm not nervous, but it's more about flashbacks than anything. What are you scared of?"

"I feel like people will look at me and just remember the rape because that's the last time they saw me. It's hard seeing that in everyone's eyes you know?"

He sighed. "I understand. I wish I could make it better for you."

She pulled back. "Thanks, but I know it won't always be like this."

"It won't. I think when you start back at work, I'll start going to the warehouse."

"Suppose she finds out?"

"She won't. The men can be trusted and I'll mainly be in the office anyway."

She was worried for him. He could see it in her eyes. "I need you to believe in me, Elizabeth.

She looked at him with surprise. "Jason, I do believe in you, but I'm still going to worry. This is a huge step and I swear if that bitch comes near you again…"

Jason grinned.

"Don't laugh at me."

"I'm not laughing. I just like that you are defending my honor."

Liz smiled. "Always."

"You want to go for a walk?"

Liz nodded. "Sure."