Chapter 10 - Nothing

Kurogane leapt to his feet, letting out what sounded very much like a snarl as he looked for something to punch (not because he was jealous, he was just angry that Ashura had apparently messed Fai up in ways he hadn't known about before).

In fact, he was so angry with Ashura that he completely failed to notice that Fai had run away again until the blond was quite far from him.

"HEY! IDIOT!" He yelled, racing after him. Cursing under his breath, he increased his speed as he noticed Fai getting away.

He's too damn good at running away for his own good! Kurogane was thankful, at least, that there appeared to be nothing but snow for many miles all around. At least the idiot won't be able to slip away anywhere.

At the same time though, Kurogane knew he would never be able to catch Fai unless he stopped and allowed himself to be caught.

Needless to say, Kurogane was pretty surprised when the mage slowed down not five minutes later.

Maybe he really is a mind reader …

Panting slightly, Kurogane finally manage to reach Fai. He grabbed his arm as he arrived, shooting him an angry glare. To his minor annoyance, the other man wasn't even looking at him.

Too damn good at running …

"Don't do that again," he spat out once Fai finally glanced at him.

Fai shrugged him off and started walking away again.

Kurogane growled and followed him again. "What's up with you?"

Fai stopped and turned to face him. He studied the other's face for a long moment, those secretive blue eyes boring into Kurogane's honest red ones, before dropping his gaze and staring off into the distance somewhere.

"I want to change, I really do," Fai told him. "But …"

"You idiot," Kurogane growled. "Don't forget that no matter what you do, I'll be judging you on the present – not something that has happened in your past, or anything that you're afraid will happen in the future."

"But that's so stupid," Fai said suddenly, the frustration in his voice surprising Kurogane. "Isn't a person's past what creates his present? You can't just cast aside everything that happened because it isn't pretty or it isn't satisfying and content yourself with today, because then sometime in the future the past is going to come back because you just can't run away, no matter how hard you try."

Kurogane opened his mouth to interrupt with some dry comment about how Fai had finally come to that realization, but Fai just shot him a warning look and kept on talking. Kurogane shut his mouth again and let the mage continue.

"But don't you think, Kurogane," The ninja winced at Fai's use of his full name. "Don't you think that while we were on that journey, I tried? I tried to put it all behind me; I tried to forget what happened in my past, in Celes and in Valeria. But no matter how much I tried, no matter how much I let those smiles that used to be fake seep into my heart so that they became real, I couldn't ignore the fact that Ashura-ou was going to come looking for me. I couldn't ignore my curses, or the tattoo that used to bind my magic, or even anything as simple as the bond between Ashura and me."

"What exactly was this bond?" Kurogane asked, his eyes flat and hard.

If he says Ashura abused him, I'm going to go back in time so that I can kill that damn king all over again.

"I owe everything to Ashura." Fai seemed to have dropped the honorific for good. "He took me in, gave me a home, accepted me, raised me, and I think, he loved me. Whether or not it was love, he was kinder and more giving than anyone else had ever been, he was the first one that didn't look at me with fearful eyes or disgusted eyes or hateful eyes. He gave me another chance at life, so that I could give Fai, who shouldn't have died, another chance at life too. I was reborn in the castle of Ruval, under Ashura's care."

Kurogane remained silent, unsure what to think and what to do.

"I was reborn, because of Ashura," Fai repeated, his eyes holding so much depth with so many brutal emotions that Kurogane had to force himself not to look away. "And because of what Ashura did for me, I owe him everything. When he taught me how to smile, I made sure to smile for him all the time. When he taught me how to read, to write, I made sure to study extra hard to gain his approval. When he taught me how to cook and which alcohols he liked, I made sure to find time to make something for him once in a while, when he was tired after a long day or a long meeting."

"When … when he taught me …" Fai's voice wavered and broke off. Kurogane was alarmed to see his eyes glimmer and reached for him hesitantly, unsure what to do if he started crying. Fai stepped backwards, letting Kurogane's fingers brush the front of his fluffy white Celes coat (no doubt custom tailored for him on Ashura's orders) uselessly.

"Mage …" Kurogane started to say, and then stopped. He had nothing that he could say that would make Fai feel any better.

Fai continued on, his voice a harsh whisper that still carried easily across the plain white snow. "When he taught me how to love … when Ashura-sama taught me how to love I made sure to love him with all the bits and pieces of my broken and useless heart that weren't already beating for Fai."

"Mage," Kurogane said again, louder now. "You have got to be one of the most f*cked up people I know. Just because he did all of that for you, it doesn't mean that you had to fall in love with him. You don't have to fall in love with anyone. Even if you were 'in love' with him, that doesn't give him the right to just do to you whatever he wants."

Fai shot him another look, one that Kurogane couldn't read. "Stop being so naïve. I didn't just decide to love him. Even I know that love isn't something you can just decide to have, otherwise I would have stopped long ago." His voice drifted off quietly again. "To love is the slowest suicide."

"Then what's your point?" Kurogane snapped, aware that he was being a jerk but angry enough not to care.

"My point, Kurogane," Fai's voice drove into him like shards of glass, nearly as cold as his eyes. "Is that I love Ashura and I'd like to think he loved me back, and even if it was nothing but a fantasy, it's a fantasy that I'd like to hold on to because it's something much more real and much more substantial than anything I've ever felt around you!"

Kurogane felt like the ice residing in Fai's eyes had come out and pierced him, leaving him numb and staggering for breath as he struggled to regain control of his emotions.

Letting anger get the better of him at last, he narrowed his blazing eyes and glared at Fai, his fists clenched. "Who said I ever felt anything around you? Who said I ever cared what you felt about me?"

He was satisfied to see that Fai was visibly shaken, his fine hair falling forwards to obscure his eyes again.

"Well then, Kurogane, I guess you won't have any trouble letting me walk away this time." Lifting his chin up and meeting Kurogane's eyes in an almost uncharacteristic show of defiance, Fai stalked away.

Growling, Kurogane stepped after him automatically before the blond's words actually registered in his mind. He stopped and watched the way the bottom of Fai's coat trailed through the snow, effectively wiping away all his footprints.

Kurogane continued to stare after Fai until if he raised his hand, he could block out Fai's presence with his pinky.

He was shocked when Fai turned around and sprinted back to him, his mind spinning in confusion as he wondered if the mage had some other trick or hurtful thing to say or if he had been just joking and was preparing to give Kurogane what would most likely be the most painful glomp ever experienced, even with the soft snow.

What he had expected however, was for Fai to give him a rough shove in the chest and the order to run. Stumbling along beside the cursing mage until he found his rhythm and could keep up a good pace, he barked questions at Fai.

"What's going on?" He demanded, half of him not even expecting an answer.

Fai shook his head. "Something's coming. I don't know what it is, but it's really powerful and has a lot of magic. Enough to take me out easily, especially in this state." He gave a bitter chuckle.

"Enough of the I'm-not-good-for-anything shit!" Kurogane resisted the urge to tackle Fai to the ground and pound him until he acquired some sense.

"Well it's true," Fai muttered darkly. With a frightened look over his shoulder, he picked up the pace. "Come on!"

Kurogane was cursing liberally under his breath when he felt his legs being swept out from under him. Bewildered, he twisted around, wondering who had managed to approach them without his notice. He was met with the sight of tendrils of what looked very much like magic wrapped around his ankles.

It pulsed with energy the same way the sorcerers' and Fai's magic did when it was still in a primitive form and not yet shaped by a spell, however, this magic was a shifting, chaotic mess of black and red rather than a strong solid color like the others.

Kurogane flipped onto his back and reached for his sword, swearing loudly when he remembered that he had left Souhi back in the inn in his haste to chase after Fai. Voice tense, he called for Fai. "Mage!"

Fai was at his side within seconds. His eyes seemed to be strangely blank and as his indigo magic started appearing around the threads of the chaos holding onto Kurogane, he did not look at the other man.

"Mage …" Kurogane said again, stiffening as a sudden twinge of pain wracked his body. He watched Fai directing his magic, then frowning as it appeared to have no effect. "Tell me what's going on!"

"My magic isn't working," Fai explained tersely, still concentrated on the spells he was casting. "Whoever this is, he's strong enough that I have pretty much no effect on him, especially since I have so little magic right now."

"What can I do?" Kurogane demanded. Fai just shook his head impatiently and stared worryingly at Kurogane's legs.

"There's nothing I can do," he admitted at last. "Besides, I think I'm out of time." Kurogane followed his gaze, already suspecting what he would see.

It was as if the magic had torn a rift in the air, proliferating quickly in front of them until it reached roughly the size of Kurogane. A man stepped through, clothed in fairly simple scarlet robes. The very air around him seemed to scream with wrongness, and when Kurogane's eyes met him, he was shocked to see that they were a red very much like his own.

A red that speaks of the joy of watching the blood of your enemies flow.

Almost subconsciously, Kurogane looked away, breaking eye contact.

"What are you two doing here?" The man's voice was quiet and almost oscitant. "Why would two men be all the way out here?"

"We went for a walk," Fai answered stiffly, reaching out and grasping Kurogane's wrist in warning. Don't say anything stupid.

"Did you now?" The stranger mused. "I hope you enjoyed your walk then. Pardon me for asking, but are you two …" He paused and smiled endearingly at them. Kurogane thought he looked like he was assessing which one he would rather torture first. "Are you two together?"

Kurogane promptly snatched his arm out of Fai's grasp. "Absolutely not!"

"We are definitely not together," Fai agreed quickly, shuffling back a few steps.

The stranger raised an eyebrow, although his tone remained docile. "Lover's spat?"

"No," they both said firmly at the same time, avoiding eye contact with each other.

"He is nothing to me," Fai added. Kurogane glanced over at him, but Fai was looking away. Clenching his teeth, Kurogane stared in the opposite direction.

"And he is less than nothing to me," he hissed, hoping in a twisted way that it had caused the other pain.

"In that case," the stranger smiled again. "Would you, mage, please stop trying to free him? I can feel your magic working away even now. You wouldn't want to strain yourself, would you?"

Fai remained silent for a moment, although he eventually nodded his head. Kurogane narrowed his eyes in disgust. Although he supposed he shouldn't have expected anything else, he was still hit by a sense of betrayal.

We have already been through so much together. How can we turn our backs on each other like this?

Fai was talking again, his voice equally innocent sounding. "May I ask who you are?"

The man laughed, a harsh, ugly sound that fled over the snow. He swept his arm in front of him in a cruel, mocking bow. "My name is Masshiro Mamoru, King of Alancia!"

A/N - Sorry for the looong wait, but the next chapter should be up fairly quickly. Things are finally starting to move and it's all coming to a close ...

10th CHAPTER! Just wanted to throw out a huuuge thank you to all the fans and reviewers; you've helped to encourage me and it's great to know that my writing isn't so horrible that no one wants to read it :D