This Whole Situation is a Pain in the Ass

Nara Shikamaru

This whole situation was a pain the ass. When Yuri's neck was slashed, I was freaking out because I thought she would die. Then when she didn't, she was dumb enough to ignore her pain and worry about me feeling guilty. Now her dad is ready to kill me the first chance he can get, and even though Yuri's room is literally five steps away from mine I can't see her.

I knew being in a relationship was messy and dramatic, but I never thought it would go to this extent. Yuri didn't seem like the type of person who welcomed drama, but drama seemed to float around her regardless. How troublesome...

She came home early from the hospital about a week ago on account of the fact that she was having more panic attacks. They thought that she would recover a lot faster if she wasn't in a hospital, which knowing her, that probably won't make much of a difference. I knew not being able to see me was going to take a big toll on her. But what I didn't expect was how much not being able to see her affected me.

I can't seem to concentrate on anything else even when I really try; it's irritating that this is bothering me so much. This was probably for the best though, before Yuri and I got too involved. My mother obeyed her father and made sure that we were to be separated at any given moment. She even went to the extreme to serving Yuri's food in her room so she wouldn't sit at the dining table for Christ sakes.

But even though my mom had separated us I couldn't seem to get away from her. When I go out, everything I see or do somehow brings my thoughts back to her. When I come home, I always look at her door when I walk to my room. And when I get in bed to sleep, I swear to God it always smells like her too. But if this is what her father wants then I can't dispute it; it would be disrespectful to him if I did. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

"No! Absolutely not!" Tsunade shouted.

My jaw clenched slightly, "If we leave them out there they'll make another attempt to get the Phresdena. You know that!" I tried to reason with Tsunade.

"Shikamaru you are not going to go out there looking for Yuri's attackers, and that's final." The old hag leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. "We'll send another team to look into it, for now you need to recover."

I groaned as I realized what she was referring to. I was sent on a mission a few days after Yuri's father yelled at me, and well... Like I said before, I can't concentrate on anything but her. "I'm fine now. I can join the team that goes." Physically I was fine, some minor bruises but that was nothing I couldn't handle.

The longer we wait to send out a team, the harder it will be to find them. Now that around two weeks has past the only way we can probably catch them is to set up a trap. I'm sure by now they realize that they got a fake and are itching to their hands on the real thing.

Tsunade stood up and slammed her fists on her desk. "No you're not fine. We both know the real reason why you got injured on that last mission. Until you can sort out your feelings, you're not allowed to leave Kohona." I glared at Tsunade. As much as I didn't want to admit it, she was right. There was no reason for me to be as distracted as I was during that mission.

She sighed and sat back down, "Besides, it's not really you, or the attackers I'm worried about. It's Yuri." I took in a sharp breath as she continued, "When I released her from the hospital it was only because some moron had put her in same room her mother died in. I was able to get there before she did anything too drastic, but she left in pretty bad shape."

I cringed slightly, "Why are you telling me this? It's not like I can do anything about it now." The one thing I that annoyed me the most about this whole situation was how Yuri is in pain, and I have to stand by idly while she digs herself deeper and deeper.

The hokage paused for a moment before responding, "Because at this point I think you're the only one who can make a difference with her." I placed my hands in my pockets and looked to the ground. "Shikamaru, the only mission I'm going to be sending you on right now is to go home and recover. You're dismissed." The hokage ordered me.

I guess I really had no choice in the matter. God damn it.

On my way home, my dad had caught up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, "You look like crap." He noted as we stopped to talk to each other, "Maybe some shogi will cheer you up."

"Yeah, because being beat by you is so much fun." I scowled at the thought.

Regardless of that, I still played my dad when we got home. It just meant that I could delay heading into my room and consequently, delay sulking over Yuri. Midway in the game my dad just had to bring her up though, "Yuri doesn't seem to be doing so well."

I sighed and waited for him to continue, "Maybe you should go talk to her." My dad moved the pawn on the far left forward one square.

"Are you trying to get me killed by her father? Or worse, mom?" I mumbled as I moved one of my bishops. Why can't people just leave me alone? Back in Suna everyone gave me grief for rejecting her, and now that I can't see her, everyone is still giving me grief.

My dad looked up from the board, "Shikamaru, sometimes you need to oppose what others say to do the right thing."

He continued when he saw my sceptical face, "Yuri may be a kind person to everyone, but it's pretty obvious when it comes to you, she'll put you above everyone else. She loves you, and you should cherish that. Regardless of what her father, or what your mother thinks." My dad paused for a second to move another pawn, "And besides, she needs you now more than ever."

I knew Yuri liked me, but love? I wasn't really sure how to respond to that. We only started to spend time together about five months ago. There's no way that love could develop that quickly. I debated with myself for a minute whether or not I should ask my dad a question. In the end, I decided it was better knowing than to be oblivious. "Dad, how long were you and mom together before you realized you loved her?" How he could love her at all, I don't know.

He seemed pleased that I was continuing the conversation and thought for a moment. "Well... I realized I loved her maybe about year or so into dating." How my dad could put up with my mom for a year like that makes no sense. "But I had felt it a long time before I actually realized it." He finished and moved again.

The answer to that question doesn't help me the way I thought it would. Like I know how attached Yuri is to me. When we're together she doesn't seem to hold back her feelings at all, so it makes her really easy to read. I sighed; now all I'll be able to think about is the prospect that Yuri may love me.

After about ten minutes my dad beat me yet again. This is going to be a long day.

The next morning I woke up a little later than I usually did. I rolled over to my side and glanced over to the spot on my floor where Yuri and I kissed. What was she thinking? Running away from the hospital at 5am in the morning...

Then I remembered what my dad said last night about Yuri being in love with me. Her escaping from the hospital would make sense then. Why she so blindly ignored the fact that she was falling apart to make sure that I wasn't. I lifted my arm and shielded my eyes from the sun that now came from the window. The worse part of it all is the fact that even though I was thinking of pushing her away when she kissed me, my body reacted in the complete opposite. I actually pulled her closer to me.

Why can't I just go on with life normally? Why do I have to care about her so much?

I decided to go visit Asuma-sensei's grave today. In a situation like this he would always help me out. Although he would probably laugh and say something stupid like, "Without love there would be no King to protect."

When I arrived at his grave I yawned and looked at his name engraved in the stone. "Heh. I always figured that you would be the one I would end up going to for girl problems. I'm sorry you didn't get met Yuri; she really is a great girl. It's just... Everyone keeps pulling me in different directions and I just don't know what to do." I admitted to him.

The sun shined brightly on his grave as I stood there, waiting for something to happen. A month ago Yuri and I were fine; we would spend time together when we could. She was busy with her research and I was busy with missions. Our relationship wasn't like some couples that were with each other all the time. We both had lives outside of each other and we knew that.

How spending time with each other every now and then turned into this, I have no clue. If on the mission I had spent more time coming up with strategies Yuri would be alright and we would still be able to see each other. It was just so hard to consider all the different possibilities based off so little knowledge of the enemy. I could only account for so many variables...

"Shikamaru?" I turned back to see Kurenai, appearing to be bursting at the seams.

"Sheesh. You're huge." I commented to her as she came up beside me.

She laughed, "You sort of get big when you're eight months pregnant." The kunoichi told me as she placed some flowers onto Asuma's grave.

As I was helping her to get back up (you know, since she's gigantic with a kid), I noticed the flowers she put down, "Lilies?" I questioned.

Kurenai looked back down to the flowers and nodded, "I thought I'd get something a little bit different for him today. These lilies stood out to me in the shop."

I guess I'm going to have to figure this one out on my own. I knew Asuma wasn't going to be of much help to me.

After some talking I waved goodbye to Kurenai and decided to get something to eat. I reached into my pocket to see how much money I had in my wallet, but didn't find anything. "Ahhhh... I forgot it at home." I sighed and shook my head. I could go home and get my wallet to eat, or I could just skip lunch and sleep.

The second option sounded nice to me, but then my stomach growled. I guess I'm headed home.

When I came back the house was empty. My mom had already left to do some gossiping with the neighbours or something, content that I wasn't coming back until later. And my dad left early this morning on a mission. Forgetting my wallet has put me in a situation where I could see Yuri without anyone knowing.

As I made my way up the stairs to my room I quietly walked passed her room, deciding that it would be best to just leave her alone. If she really did love me like my dad said, then a clean break is the best way for her to get over me. I opened the door to my room, and froze immediately at what I saw.

The reason why my bed always smelled like Yuri now was because she would sleep in it when I was gone. She was curled up in my bed, facing me with her eyes shut. She looked... peaceful.

I walked over to the bed and sat in the corner, making sure not to disturb her. I propped up my head with my hand by resting my elbow on my knee. I watched her silently as she laid there, content. I looked over to my nightstand where my wallet sat, and then I looked back at Yuri. I could grab the wallet and leave; she would never know I saw her.

But then my bed would still smell like her when I go to sleep tonight. And now I'll be vividly aware of the fact that it smells like her because hours before hand she had been there.

Although she looked content, she also looked very tired. If she slept during the day now, what did she do at night? Was she unable to sleep on her own? Why would my bed make any difference from hers?

I know that what I should do is leave and ignore her. Eventually I'll be able to concentrate again and Yuri and I will start to drift apart like we did when we were younger. She wasn't the type of person that would let something like this prevent her from moving forward. Yuri would eventually get over me.

My heart throbbed when I thought about that. Yuri would eventually get over me. Even if she did love me like my dad says, she would move on and meet someone else. I would meet someone else as well, and we both would be happy with them. If I knew that this was going to happen, why did I feel so opposed to it?

Stupid Asuma... Why did he have to die? I can only imagine what he would say in this type of situation; but imagining is a lot different than reality. I began to go through all the different possibilities and outcomes that could result from this; if I stayed and talked to Yuri when she woke up, or if I left with my wallet right now.

While I was thinking Yuri turned so her back was facing me, but after she did so she sat up and looked down to the corner of the bed. I guess she could tell she wasn't alone on the bed. I looked at her as she froze; her breathing immediately sped up and she jumped out of my bed. "Sorry." She whispered and ran off to her room, embarrassed that she got caught in my bed.

I took one last glance at my wallet then got up and followed behind her, "Wait." Her door was left wide open when I entered the room, but she had seemed to disappear.

I raised an eyebrow as I looked around for where she could have hidden. She couldn't have jumped out the window; it was sort of a second story fall. I looked down to the floor and saw a small space under her bed. I shook my head as I kneeled down in front of her bed and looked under it. Her back was facing me, trying to ignore me. "Yuri, could you please come out from under there?"

She shook her head, "No, I can't."

Great, she's being difficult with me. I reached under the bed grabbing onto her arm pulling her towards me. Once I got her out from under of the bed I let go, and she immediately crawled herself back under the bed. I rolled my eyes as I pulled her out again but this time placing my right hand by her side, in between her and the bed. My left hand rested on the spot beside her head and I was now on top of her, making sure she couldn't escape.

Why was I doing this? I haven't even decided whether or not talking to Yuri was worth it, and yet here I am.

After about a minute, Yuri gave up on hiding and just laid there, avoiding my gaze. She didn't have any bandages around her neck; it was lightly bruised and black stitches held the wound together. There were tears in her eyes as she clenched her hands into fists.

"Are you having nightmares?" I asked her. It was the only thing that would explain why she was sleeping in my room. It was the closest to being with me, without actually being with me.

She faintly nodded and shut her eyes as the tears in her eyes fell down to the ground. I lifted my hand that was beside her head and wiped away some of the tears on her face. She was so... broken.

Then as my hand grazed her jaw slightly, it was too close to her neck for comfort. She immediately closed her neck in her hands; her entire body was shying away from mine. I didn't say anything as I placed my hand over hers and slowly tried to release her grip. She finally looked at me when I did this. Her eyes were red from so much crying.

After she looked at me, she started to relax her hands. I sighed as I took her right hand into my left and placed it back beside her head. Her left hand was clenched on her chest.

If she really loves me like my dad says she does, does she realize it herself? She did say that I'm the one person that means the most to her, but does that mean she knows she loves me? If she even loves me at all. I just didn't get it. Ever since she moved in I've been complaining about women all the time. Besides that all I do is nap, play shogi or go, and go on missions. How could she love someone like me?

"Yuri... I..." I started unsure what I was going to say. I started to lean down towards her, getting closer.

Then Yuri started to panic. She pulled herself out from under me and slid back until she hit the wall, trying to get as far away from me as she could. "Shikamaru... please, don't." She pleaded, avoiding eye contact again.

I couldn't help myself now; I got closer to her and placed my hands on either side of her, locking her in. She was telling me to go away, but I just couldn't. Not when she was like this. "Why?" I questioned her, moving one of my hands to grab her chin.

I slowly turned her face to look at me. More tears came out as she said, "Because... if you do then it'll be impossible to get over you."

I took in a sharp breath. Ok, I have to make a decision now. If I stay with her now then I would be directly opposing my mom's and her father's wishes. If I go she would probably fall apart, but would eventually be able to pick the pieces back up.

I looked back down to the wound on her neck; it was there because of me. The scar she would get from it would be a constant reminder of how I failed to protect her. But then I noticed that around her neck was the necklace I gave her for her birthday. "Do you want to get over me?" I asked her.

If she really wanted to get over me she would try to get rid of everything that reminds her of me. Albeit that would be very hard when she lives in the same house as me, but at the very least she wouldn't be wearing that necklace.

She shook her head and answered with the one thing I wanted to hear the most, "No... That's the last thing in the world that I want." More tears came out of her eyes.

Fuck. She loves me. How can I respect what her father wants now when it's so obvious that neither of us wants to let go? I did say whatever happens, happens, right? So if I happen to kiss her now, and then kiss her again tomorrow and again the next day... Then I can say that it just happened right?

Well no, but whatever. Staying away from her is too troublesome; if I stay away now then I'll just regret it for the rest of my life.

"Good." I murmured as I leaned in closer to her.

She tried to pull back away, but I held her face in place. Eventually, my lips met hers. Last time when we were kissing it was more... gentle. This time it was needier, more frantic; like we couldn't stay apart anymore. Her arms moved to be around my neck as I put my arms around her waist pulling her closer.

After we got that out of our system, Yuri sighed and wiped the tears off her face. "It's not fair. You affect me so much, and yet I don't affect you at all." She murmured.

I raised an eyebrow at her, if she had no affect on me then why did I just kiss her like that...? I shook my head and took her hand, holding it to my heart. My heart had been beating hysterically ever since I saw Yuri asleep in my bed. "Does it look like you don't affect me now?" I questioned her.

Yuri looked down to my chest where my hand held hers and started to laugh. "Your heart is beating as hard as mine." She giggled slightly.

I raised one of my eyebrows. How could someone who was in such pain ten minutes ago be giggling now? Women...

Then Yuri caught me off guard and kissed me again, her arms snaking their way around my neck again. Well I really can't complain; it's not like I don't like it. I only wish she could give me a little warning now and then.

"Your neck looks like its healing." I mentioned to Yuri as she picked up a rice ball and took a bite.

After we had kissed again Yuri had broke out into tears. Obviously I comforted her, but I just don't get how someone can go from broken, to giggling and... eager, then to crying and broken again. And here I thought she was the only sane woman I knew.

Ehhh then again she did almost die two weeks ago. I suppose she's allowed to have a few weeks of insanity. All of the crying and mood swings is annoying, but worth it. I'd much rather deal with mood swings than guilt over ruining her life.

Anyways, somewhere in the crying Yuri noticed how my stomach wouldn't stop growling. I told her I could get food and come right back, but she clung to me saying she would go with me.

Yuri blushed slightly as she swallowed her food, "If it looks like its better now, I don't want to know how it looked before..." She rubbed the bandages around her neck as she said this. "What happened to your arm?"

I looked down to my arm that was covered in bandages. I shrugged, "I've been having trouble concentrating lately." I admitted to her, "On my last mission I got a little beat up."

Concern immediately came across Yuri's face. "But I'm fine now." I reassured her. She didn't need another reason to be upset.

She pouted, "If you say so..." After eating some more food Yuri continued, "Uhm... What's going to happen with us now? I mean like... your mom isn't going to let us see each other anytime soon."

I took a bite of my sushi and shrugged, "We'll figure it out."

Yuri's eyebrows creased in response, "As long as it's 'we'" she mumbled and took another bite. I laughed and shook my head.