Quick Author's Note, before you start reading. I'd like to address Kagome's "Schizophrenia", since I noticed a few of you had questions about it. In response, I went and researched using information from a review I received. Now, keep in mind that I've made it so Kagome's... "condition" is very mild and nothing to be worried about. Schizophrenia is the closest word that would explain what she's going through with the "little voice in her head." And, the disease fits the symptoms. From what I found, Acute (or reactive) Schizophrenia can come on genetically or after a life crisis and/or tramatic event, and causes hallucinations (including the voices in the head - Kagome's issue) and mood disorders. The mood disorders include things such as lack of social activity, withdrawal from those around, depression, anxiety, etc. So, the disease fit what she was going through, so I used the word "Schizophrenia," and I used it very loosely. Now go! Enjoy the chapter... even though it's short, as always. :D
When he returned to their camp, the sun's first rays still dead behind the horizon, Rin had awoken. It took him no time to notice the absence of the wolf's corpse, and immediately his eyes picked up the drag marks upon the ground and the blood and skin beneath Kagome's fingernails. It seemed that she had dragged him away, out of sight, as to spare the young girl of such a sight.
"Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin yawned, smiling widely through the fog of sleep.
He acknowledged her with the smallest of nods before he turned his gaze to Kagome, who sat with her legs tucked to her side, her eyes drawn towards the ground as Rin leaned up against her. Her gaze didn't waver from it's spot when he spoke.
"You will take leave of my party before the sun rises, miko," he used unnecessary edge in his voice, golden eyes cutting through her body as if she were nothing more than the air.
And for a moment, silence reigned. The air crushed down on them, as his words faded into nothingness, and he watched her draw a pointless shape in the dirt with her finger. And then, after what seemed like an eternity, the sigh that slipped through her lips broke the absolute silence.
Her eyes turned up to him – distant, haunted – and she stood slowly, breaking his gaze only for a moment as she dust herself off, until finally she stood to face him completely.
"Thank you..." her voice was lost, too far away to be understood in the fullest sense, and the fake smile that graced her lips made something inside of him want to cringe away from her, "...for everything you have done for me."
Silence again. Unending, horrible silence. A silence that seemed to bring forth the souls of the dead who haunted the disturbed, who taunted the peaceful ones. Sesshomaru saw the hollow of her soul, as he stared into the blue of her eyes. And, for the smallest second, he wondered what she was thinking. He wondered what went on inside the mind that his brother had damaged and torn, he wondered of her memories. For the smallest moment, the longest hour, he was tempted. He was curious. He wanted to see, to feel, to understand what she was, from the inside...
But then he realized what he was thinking, what he wanted, and in disgust with himself he tore his eyes from hers. And finally, he heard them catch up with him.
"My promise of protection over you has ended, miko," he said coldly, refusing to look at her, "If you see this Sesshomaru, ever again, you would be wise to flee. I will kill you."
When they burst through the brush and trees of the surrounding area, her attention was diverted, and he was gone in a gust of unnatural wind.
--
When the sun began to rise from the East, she was still bedridden. She could barely remember the night, how her friends had taken her away with tears of relief in their eyes as Rin and the others went to catch up with Sesshomaru. The night's events were still pulling down on her, invisible iron bonds pulling her to the ground every time she tried to take a step, and sometimes it just felt hard to just breathe.
Koga is dead...
And then, she was mourning. When she pushed back her tears she found that she'd curled up into a ball underneath the blankets of the bed she didn't remember getting into, underneath a roof of a house that she barely remembered entering. She remembered one thing though, one thing that explained why everything was such a daze. She had gone into shock, when Sesshomaru had disappeared and her friends were there, but she didn't understand quite why. Shock followed a traumatic, horrifying event. Not... that.
Traumatic event? Her mind said, almost mockingly, You just found your friends, got threatened by a youkai lord, and found out Koga's dead and you're his heir. That classifies as traumatic.
"...Heir." the word fell from her lips, softened by tears, and she barely realized she had said it aloud.
And then the world shattered again.
She was a heir to a demon tribe. She was a female, miko heir to a wolf tribe. God, what had she done wrong? What had she done to be cursed so, to be tortured? She couldn't take charge of a tribe she knew little about, whether or not it's members trusted her or not. She'd be a sitting duck, in the middle of the world of youkai. And now even Sesshomaru wanted her dead. There would be no surviving this.
She sat up slowly, propping herself up on an arm and running her free hand through her hair as she tried to hold herself together.
What had Koga been thinking? Why had he given her his title and lands?
She was broken out of her thoughts when a knocked echoed through the room, causing her eyes to turn towards the doors.
"Yes?" her voice was weak, still hollow with shock.
A small amount of light flooded into the room as the door slid open, the suns dim rays quickly extinguished when the door closed shut once more.
"Kagome..." Sango's voice was calm, collected, as she sat beside the miko on the futon, "...Are you feeling better now?"
"No." her voice seemed to crack and break, as if it were about to crumble away, "I'm not."
Sango draped a comforting arm around her friend, sighing, "Will you tell me about it? It helps, sometimes, to talk."
Life became unreal, as if she were dreaming, but after a moment of silence that was much longer than she intended it to be, Kagome spoke.
"Koga is dead."
She could hear everything it seemed, after those words slipped through her lips. Her heart pounded in her ears, she heard Sango's surprise, she heard the wind rustling the leaves outside of the walls of this home. She shivered, for no apparent reason, waiting for Sango to speak.
"...How?" she breathed, and Kagome shut her eyes, trying to disappear from existence.
"InuYasha killed him," it was strange, how she could just say this like nothing had ever happened, "because he was looking for me."
After the longest moment of her life, Kagome could no longer stand the silence when Sango refused to speak.
"And Koga... he appointed me, as his heir."
She heard her friend's breathing catch, felt her arm tense around her shoulder.
"What's wrong?" Why were those words coming out of her mouth, in a time where she should be the one receiving this question?
"He appointed you as his heir?" it seemed that now it was Sango who was in shock, leaving Kagome confused as to why it would mean so much, "Are you sure, Kagome?"
"That's what one of his wolves told me," she cringed away from her memory, "before he died at my feet."
"Why...?" Sango was talking to herself now, nearly ignoring Kagome's stares, "Why would Koga do that?"
"What's wrong?" For a second time those words left her mouth, as she turned her body more to face her friend.
"Kagome... You're a human leader of a demonic tribe. Can't you see what type of danger you're in?"
"Danger...?" she echoed in a breathless tone, unsure of how to take her friend's words.
"Yes, danger. Kagome, humans aren't supposed to have standing in the world of youkai. They can't. It just isn't done. If they find out about this, they'll come after you. Youkai assassins, entire tribes, daiyoukai like Sesshomaru –"
"Or Sesshomaru." Kagome interrupted, her breath catching in her throat.
He'll kill you, and you won't be able to stop him, her mind told her, a monotone whisper in her skull, and they'll die protecting you.
"Kagome..." she barely registered her friend's following words, "We'll keep you safe."
...They won't need to, will they? The voice asked, almost sadly.
No. They wouldn't have to protect her. If they tried to save her from a daiyoukai like Sesshomaru – or Sesshomaru, himself – they wouldn't survive. They'd already sacrificed enough for her. She wasn't going to let them lay down their lives for her and her mistakes. If someone came for her, she wouldn't fight. She'd just let them take her and do what they wished, and when the darkness descended maybe she'd find herself in a better place. Sango, Miroku, Shippo... they could survive without her, couldn't they? All she had caused them was pain anyways, ever since she'd broken the jewel.
We'll die soon, won't we?
She bit down on her bottom lip, closing her eyes as she leaned against her friend.
Yes.