Hi everyone. Sorry for how long this chapter took. Please let me know what you think.

Chapter 10

Tali mumbled as she felt consciousness tug at her. She didn't want to wake up just yet. Being awake meant pain and pain was something she had had more than enough of over the past day. She tried to allow herself to drift off to sleep again but there was an annoying beeping sound in her ears that made it hard to relax. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter until an image flashed behind her eyelids; the sight of Jabez baring down on her with his hands going for his belt and his cruel laugh echoed in her ears.

Instantly she awoke with a strangled gasp sitting up sharply before she let out a cry as pain rushed round her body making her double over.

"Tali" she heard and she looked over wildly as she saw Gibbs come towards her and he instantly caught hold of her shoulders and pushed her back down against the pillows. "Easy easy" he soothed gently holding her down as she stared up at him breathing fast. "Shh sweetheart relax" he whispered "you are safe now… just relax."

Tali stared up at him with wide eyes before she realised he was right and slowly she relaxed and her breathing slowed. She realised she was wearing a breathing mask and she slowly reached up with trembling hands to pull it down under her chin as she looked around.

"W…wh…where…am I" she asked hoarsely and Gibbs turned to the table at the end of her bed and poured a glass of water. "You are in the hospital sweetheart" he whispered as he turned back to face her and he gently lifted her head to help her take a drink of the refreshingly cool drink. When she was done he set the glass back on the table and dragged the chair he had been sitting in closer to the bed as Tali looked around at the standard hospital room. But she noted a few differences this time, such as the electric blanket she was lying under. The soft long sleeve cotton pyjamas she was wearing that she recognised as her own and the machine next to the one monitoring her heart that seemed to be displaying her body temperature.

Slowly she looked back over at Gibbs shuffling further down under the blankets to conceal her body feeling relieved as well by their extra warmth.

"What happened" she asked softly as he watched her cautiously. Then slowly he sighed and dropped his head. "We found you" he said "we found you and got you out."

Slowly he looked up at her and saw that she was twisting her legs under the blankets wincing as she did so before she looked towards the window "where are my mom and dad" she asked in a whisper. "They went home an hour ago" Gibbs said gently "they had been here for days so I told them that I would stay with you whilst they went home to wash and care for AJ. He has been with Abby over the last couple of days and they needed to see him. They didn't want for you to wake up alone."

Tali frowned "how long have I been out." She asked confused.

"Honey" Gibbs said reaching out to grip her hand "you have been unconscious for three days."

Tali exhaled sharply as she stared at him. "What" she whispered and he nodded sadly "you looked a sight for sure, all these breathing masks and tubes going in and out of your arm. Then you weren't waking up… you had us all worried sweetheart."

Tali shifted under the blankets and bit her lip nervously, a movement that didn't escape Gibbs notice. "Do you want me to call your mom and dad" he asked and after a moment Tali nodded and Gibbs squeezed her hand one last time before he rose and slipped out of the room pulling his phone out as he did so.

Once he was gone Tali let out a small pained gasp and clenched her fists allowing the walls she had been keeping up to crumble. The pain she was feeling throughout her body was immense and every time she took in a breath fire surged up inside her.

She shifted again under her blankets and she felt something soft beside her and slowly she dragged it out from under the sheets to see that her old favourite toy Bernie had been placed beside her. She felt a smile slip onto her face followed by tears as she lifted the old toy to her face and breathed in the old familiar scent that clung to his fur and she felt slightly better.

"AJ put that there" Gibbs said from the doorway and Tali looked over to see him standing in the doorway. Slowly he re-entered the room and sat down once again "We didn't let him see you much but whilst you were missing and here he took to carrying that around but two days ago he put that beside you and wouldn't take it back."

Tali smiled and hugged her old toy tightly. "You're mom and dad are on their way" he added "they were very relieved to hear that you are awake."

Tali ducked her head before she coughed and bent over coughing heavily whimpering in pain. "Easy" Gibbs murmured pushing her back against the pillow "just breathe sweetheart."
Once she had finished coughing Tali rested her head back groaning "what happened to me" she asked.

Gibbs sighed "you contracted a serious case of hypothermia, you had a machine attached to you for ages." He broke off but Tali could tell that he was holding something back.

"What aren't you telling me" she asked and Gibbs exhaled again.

"You died" he said softly "your heart just stopped."

He broke off remembering the moment when they had thought they had lost her; he, Tony and Ziva had been sitting at her bedside the day after they had found her when there had been a loud beeping sound that had caused all of their heads to snap up as they saw the heart monitor displaying a flat line.

"No" Ziva had whispered leaping to her feet "Tali."

They all found their eyes drawn to Tali's face as doctors and nurses came charging in and shoved them backwards. Both Tony and Ziva resisted shouting out to their daughter until they were forced out of the room and the door was slammed shut.

They instantly moved to the window staring through as the doctors brought out defibrillators and placed the pads over Tali's chest before they sent an electric shock through her making her body jerk. Still the single beep sounded showing no change in Tali.

"Come on" Ziva whispered staring through the window at her daughter. Her fists were clenched and trembling as she pleaded for her daughter not to leave her "come on Tali you can do it please keep fighting."

Again and again the doctors attempted to resuscitate Tali before to everyone's relief a new beeping sounded and waves appeared on the heart monitor as the doctors called out "it's ok she's back… she isn't done fighting yet.

Gibbs looked back up at her "your heart stopped and we thought that was it." He said "but it turns out you had a little fight left in you after all."

Tali smiled weakly before she sighed "seems like I am making dying a bit of a habit" she said softly and Gibbs looked at her questioningly. She considered him before she elaborated.

"When Jabez was… hurting me" she said delicately "he killed me." She gave a tiny laugh as she considered those words as Gibbs silently swore to kill the bastard the first opportunity he got "but he hadn't gotten what he had wanted from Amir so… he brought me back… told Amir that the next time he wouldn't save me."

She clenched her jaw as she looked back up at him blinking to prevent a few tears leaking out "I guess all these new methods of being taken down make a change from a bullet right" she said "at least Jabez tried some new tactics."

"What do you remember of what happened to you" Gibbs began but Tali cut him off "everything" she said bluntly "I remember Every. Little. Thing… that he did to me and everything he did to Amir."

She looked over at Gibbs saw the hatred in her eyes "I remember what he was going to do before you arrived and dad stopped him" She added.

Gibbs didn't know what to say to her so he remained silent but reached out and took her hand comfortingly and for a few minutes they sat in silence together.

Then Tali let out a long breath "how is Amir" she asked quietly.

"It was touch and go for a while." Gibbs said "the knife nicked his spleen and caused major internal bleeding but the doctors saved him. He awoke in the early hours of yesterday morning… he isn't allowed visitors at the moment but he has been asking after you apparently."

Tali nodded and looked away and Gibbs knew there was something on her mind. "You wanna talk about it" he asked and she looked at him "talk about what" she asked.

"I can tell there is a lot on your mind right now" he coaxed "you wanna talk about it with me."

Tali considered him before she looked away "I don't know if I can do this anymore" she said making Gibbs frown "do what" he asked.

"This" she said gesturing to the bed she was lying in as she looked over at him "surviving… I don't know how many more times I can do it… every time it gets harder… I don't want to be strong any more… I feel like all I am is strong… when can I just be normal and have normal everyday problems like other kids… when do I get that… I feel like it isn't fair."

"Shh" Gibbs said tightening his grip on her hand "It isn't fair shortcake it isn't..." he sighed "I wish there was a way I could give that too you" he murmured "you deserve it after all that has happened to you… I will do whatever it takes to make your life normal after this… we all will."

"It's too late" Tali said in a strangled voice that made it sound like she was fighting back tears and she looked at him "it's late" she repeated "how can I have a normal life after everything that has happened to me? I have been abducted more times than I can remember… I have been trained to fight and kill and kill I have done… I have been tortured by a psychopath because my best friend had something he wanted and … he tried to assault me… I don't know how much more I can take Gibbs."

Gibbs studied her for a moment before he began to speak slowly in his calm comforting voice;

"You know the first time you got taken… with your mom and dad… you were unconscious for a while… and whilst you were I came and sat beside you… listening to those machines all around you… helping you breathe… making sure you were alive… and I remember sitting beside you wondering how in hell you had managed to survive everything that you had been put through and then I spoke to you and I told you something."

He looked at Tali flashing back to the sight of her so young and innocent lying in that bed unable to breathe by herself. Then he looked at her now and was struck by how different she looked. She looked tired and pained now. She had seen so much since then more than she should see in her whole life. It just wasn't fair.

"You know what I told you that night whilst you were lying there Talia Kaitlyn" he asked and slowly Tali shook her head.

He smiled gently as he reached up to brush some of her hair out of her face "I told you that you were named after two very extraordinary women. Two very strong women and that it was you who was keeping their memory alive. I told you that having those names must have seemed like big shoes to fill but that you have done so over and over again. I told you that you were named after two fighters and that was what you had to do then. Fight."

He looked at Tali who was watching him uncertainly "you have fought so hard ever since then" he said "and I know that you are going to be able to keep doing that. You are so strong Tali… you'll be able to carry on… don't give up kiddo and don't forget… you aren't alone."

Tali cocked her head to one side studying him as he smiled at her "you have all of us" he said "you have your mom and dad and AJ… they are not going anywhere and neither are Abby, McGee, or I. And there is Palmer and Ducky and of course we cannot forget Amir."

The small smile that had crept onto Tali's face as he spoke faltered at the name of her best friend and she took a slow breath considering everything he had just told her. "Ok" she whispered "thanks Gibbs."

"Anytime shortcake anytime" he said smiling as she slowly leaned forward to hug him and he wrapped his arms around her relieved that she was ok.

They remained like that for a short while. Gibbs could hear Tali sniffing gently but she didn't pull away so he continued to hold her carefully guessing she didn't want him to see her crying. It wasn't until they heard movement at the door that they pulled apart and they both looked over as Tali wiped her eyes hurriedly before she smiled as she saw her mom and dad standing in the doorway staring at her with such relief on their faces that it made Gibbs smile happy to see the relief replace the fear.

"Tali" AJ suddenly squealed from where he was sitting in his father's arms and Tali smiled as she sank back against the pillows "hey AJ" she whispered gently as her brother wriggled delighted to see that his big sister was finally awake.

Both Tony and Ziva slowly moved forward and slowly Tali reached up so that Ziva could bend over and carefully gather her daughter up into her arms letting out a relieved breath as she hugged her daughter tightly before she sank into one of the chairs beside Tali still staring at her as though unable to believe her eyes as Tony bent to press his lips to the top of her head murmuring "good to have you back ninja" before he sat down slowly both remaining quiet as they assessed their daughter. AJ on the other hand stood up on Tony's lap and reached out trying to climb onto the bed beside his big sister.

Smiling Tali reached out her hand allowing him to grab her fingers as he always did managing a small laugh as he squealed in delight. Gibbs watched the two of them interact for another minute or so before he rose "here" he said holding out his arms "I'll take him for a little bit and give you guys some privacy… and I had better call Abby and McGee. They'll also be relieved to hear you are awake."

Tali nodded but didn't look up at him as he took AJ up into his arms and ignoring his protests he carried him out of the room shutting the door quietly behind him.

Silence filled the small room for a few minutes as the three of them stared at each other before Tali ducked her head "I must look bad" she mumbled "you guys are staring at me."

"No" Ziva whispered "we just never thought we would see you again."

Tali smiled awkwardly and looked away and Tony looked his daughter up and down. In truth she did look bad. She was pale and tired with cuts all over her body. Her breathing was laboured and pained and her hands rested over her stomach and her eyes were pained. There was also a large bruise on her neck that the doctors had told them had come from a belt being wrapped around her neck and being tightened. It was startlingly obvious and he knew it would take a long while to fade. And even longer for the memory that it carried to be forgotten.

Still nobody spoke until Tali let out a small sigh and shifted under the blankets before visibly wincing.

"Are you alright Tali" Ziva instantly asked concerned.

Tali pushed a smile onto her face "yeah I am ok" she whispered "just a little pain… every time I move or take a breath."

"Take some pain medication ninja" Tony said reaching for the medication control but Tali quickly swiped it up.

"No" she said quickly "It makes me sleepy… I don't want to sleep."

"Tali" Ziva said softly "you don't have to be strong and put on a brave face anymore."

The brave look on Tali's face faltered before she shook her head "it's not that" she said but Ziva could tell that she wasn't being entirely truthful but she decided she didn't want to press her daughter just yet.

"How are you feeling" Tony asked and Tali shrugged "everything hurts" she said "but I am alive so I guess that is something."

She looked over at them both "I thought I would never see you again" she whispered and Ziva managed to give her a small smile "we feared the same my tateleh." She reached out to grip Tali's hand but Tali quickly leaned forward and fell into both Tony and Ziva's arms.

Tony felt relief course through him as he held his wife and daughter tightly in his arms and he rested his head against Tali's hair sighing in relief as he stroked her arm gently.

They remained in their small embrace for a short amount of time before they slowly pulled apart and Tali fell back against the pillows shifting carefully under the blankets. "Are you warm enough" Ziva asked "the doctors said it is important to keep you warm."

"I'm fine" Tali said quickly "don't worry I'm warm enough." She looked away and Ziva bit her lip struggling to remain composed as she watched her daughter struggling to keep herself together.

They sat in silence once again and they could all tell that Tali had no idea what to say or do. She was still scared and they didn't know how to make her feel better.

Eventually Tali looked at her father and gave him a small smile "can you do something for me" she asked and Tony nodded "anything for you my princess" he said softly and Tali smiled "can you go check on Amir for me" she asked "… I need to know that he is ok… and Gibbs said that not many people can see him. Can you tell him that I am ok but that I am not ready to see him yet."

Tony studied her before he nodded obviously understanding that she wanted just her mother right now. He placed another kiss on the top of her head as he rose before he turned and slipped out of the room closing the door behind him.

"Why don't you want to see him yet" Ziva asked as she moved into the seat closer to Tali reaching out to catch hold of her hand.

Tali didn't look at her as she shrugged "I can't" she whispered "I can't bear to see him and I don't want him to see me yet. It will hurt him."
Ziva frowned "why would it hurt him my love" she asked and Tali shifted under the blankets again.

She kept her gaze away from her mother as she considered her words before she slowly began to speak.

"As soon as Amir realised that Jabez had me… he wanted to give him what he wanted. He wanted to give him the code right then but I told him not too. I told him that I could take it. He wasn't happy but he did as I asked. Later after something happened again he told me that he wanted to give Jabez the code. I told him that as soon as he did so that he was going to kill both of us and that I didn't want to die. No matter what they did to me I told Amir not to give Jabez what he wanted."

She broke off before she looked over at her mom. "He shot me full of adrenaline and I panicked and I couldn't breathe. He managed to convince Jabez to let him come to me and he held me so carefully and helped he calm down and…" she broke off and took a shaky breath before she looked at Ziva "Amir kissed me" she whispered "he kissed me and it felt good. So much better than the last time when I was in his house in Israel. It felt so amazing and I still remember every second of it. I thought I was going to die but at that moment I didn't care."

Ziva gave her a small smile but remained quiet as she listened to what her daughter was saying as Tali continued.

"I passed out after that and Jabez was going to keep hurting me even whilst I was unconscious but Amir made him stop. He made him start hurting him instead. I woke up to see him being dunked in ice water."

She blinked a few times but couldn't stop the tears from leaking down her cheeks "he… he told me that he loved me" she burst out and Ziva started in surprise at that but didn't speak as Tali continued.

"He told me he loved me and that he had loved me all along and then Jabez started to dunk him again but every time he let him come up for air Amir looked at me and told me that he loved me."

"Oh Tali" Ziva whispered rising to her feet and moving to perch on the side of the bed wrapping her arms around Tali who leaned against her allowing the tears to fall freely. "He broke eventually" she sniffed "Jabez found Amir's weak spot… he was going to… assault me… but Amir wouldn't let him. So he gave him the code…" she looked up at Ziva as her mother gently stroked her hair "I was the code" she whispered and Ziva frowned "what do you mean" she asked and Tali ducked her head "my name unlocked the code"

Ziva gently pressed her lips to the top of Tali's head trying to figure out what to say. She had known for a long time that Amir had feelings for Tali but she had never been sure of the extent of them. She had always wondered if Amir might eventually tire of waiting for Tali who was unsure of any feelings she might have towards him. Ziva had always wondered if maybe one day he might move on.

But now she doubted that it would happen. Amir had feared he might die and he had wanted to make sure that Tali knew how he felt about her. Those feelings weren't just something that would fade over a time. They were true. They were solid. And they were permanent.

"I don't know what to do mom" Tali whispered from where she was pressed against Ziva's chest "how do I face him again after everything we went through. After he sacrificed himself to try and keep me safe and told me how he feels. How can I look him in the face after that."

"I don't know aheva" Ziva whispered "but you shouldn't just abandon him Tali. You will need each other to get through this."

"I won't" Tali said looking up at her "every time I look at him I feel guilty. Guilty that I was the reason he ended up giving up the code. Guilty that I didn't escape when he gave me the opportunity. Guilty that he got beaten for trying to help me…" she paused before muttering so quietly that Ziva nearly missed it; "guilty that he loved me of all people."

"Oh Tali" Ziva whispered and she enveloped Tali back into her arms leaning back in the bed so that Tali lay beside her again curled up against her crying gently.

They were still like that when Tony returned and he paused when he saw them lying there with Tali burrowed tightly against Ziva's chest. He felt his heart ache at the sight of his daughter in tears and Ziva struggling to comfort her.

He looked over and saw Gibbs standing there with AJ in his arms watching him. Slowly he moved forward "She ok" he asked before he looked through the window and his eyes turned sad as he saw Tali and Ziva.

"She'll be ok" Tony said trying to sound confident but failing. He looked over at Gibbs and his confidence disappeared "right?" he questioned.

Gibbs sighed "she won't be at first" he said gently "and it might take a while but eventually she will be able to move on, but it will take time Tony. Remember that."

Tony nodded but continued to stare through the window at his struggling daughter.

"Get in there DiNozzo" Gibbs said gently "she'll need all the support you can give her."

Tony nodded before he took a deep breath and slipped into the room.

Both Tali and Ziva looked up as he entered and they both pushed small smiles onto their faces as Tali leaned back against her pillows. "Hey" she said softly "how is Amir?"

Tony smiled as he sank back into the chair beside the bed "he's ok" he reassured "very relieved to hear that you are finally awake… said he understood that you don't want to see him yet and asked me to tell you that he will wait until you are ready, for as long as it takes."

Tali nodded before she turned her head away from them.

Tony glanced over at Ziva who gave him a small sad smile making him think that there was something that he didn't know.

It was at that moment that Tali's doctor entered the room apologising for the delay. "Well I am certainly glad to see that you are finally back with us Miss DiNozzo… you had us worried a couple of times" he said as he pulled on rubbed gloves.

Tali grimaced "well I guess I am pretty glad to be back too" she said pulling down the front of her top slightly so that he could listen to her heart. The doctor listened for a minute or so before making a note on Tali's hospital record. "Any pain" he asked.

"No not really" Tali said quickly.

"Tali" Tony warned as Ziva quickly interjected with "she's lying" looking up at the doctor as Tali scowled.

The doctor nodded and looked at Tali "any reason you don't want any pain medication" he asked scribbling away on his clipboard.

"I know from experience that it gives me bad dreams" Tali said softly "very bad dreams."

"That isn't uncommon" the doctor said "I'll talk to the nurses about giving you something less prone to causing night terrors… now I just need to run a couple of tests so if your parents want to step out now would be the right time."

He looked over at Tony and Ziva who both visibly hesitated. "Go" Tali whispered "I'll be ok."

Ziva didn't look convinced but she slowly rose to her feet and squeezed Tony's shoulder encouraging him to do the same.

Slowly they headed out of the room closing the door behind them where they paused before they headed down the corridor to the waiting room where they found Gibbs sitting on the floor playing with AJ and a stack of blocks.

"Hey" he said spotting them "how is she?"

"As well as can be expected" Ziva said as she sank to the ground beside her son who giggled as he spotted her and held out one of the wooden blocks to her.

Gibbs nodded as he hauled himself up and moved over to where there were three cups of coffee and a juice box sitting on the table.

"I called Abby" he said quietly handing the cups of coffee out "McGee is driving her over and they both offered to take AJ back to your apartment and to look after him for as long as you need."

Tony nodded gratefully.

"How are you doing DiNozzo" Gibbs asked as they watched Ziva interacting with AJ.

Tony didn't answer at first. He just switched his gaze to stare down the corridor towards Tali's hospital room.

"I keep thinking about what happened to her" he whispered "about what she went through. Part of me wants to know what happened so I have a reason to kill that son of a bitch but the other half of me doesn't want to know what happened to my daughter… to my little girl… I mean it is bad enough that every time I close my eyes… I am rushing into that basement again… throwing open that door and seeing him… pinning my daughter to the ground ready to…"

He broke off taking deep breaths before continuing "I keep thinking what would have happened if we hadn't arrived when we did" he said shakily "or if we had arrived a minute later we would have been too late to stop him."

"Hey don't think about that" Gibbs interjected "don't think about what could have happened think about how you did get there in time and you did save her. She's ok Tony. She's alive… thanks to you."

Tony nodded and ran his hand through his hair before he looked at Gibbs "So what happened to him" he asked "what happened to Jabez."

"He is currently awaiting transfer to a Maximum security prison where he will remain until the Israeli government decide if they want to have him deported home where he can serve out life imprisonment there."

"He doesn't deserve to live" Tony growled

"Tell me about it" Gibbs agreed "But it is out of our hands now."

"Hey guys" came a voice and they looked over to see Abby and McGee coming across the waiting room towards them. "Hey" Tony said managing to push a small smile onto his face.

"She's awake" Abby asked looking relieved and Tony nodded "the doctor is with her" he said. "Listen guys with everything that has been going on I realised that I never thanked you for all your help with finding Tali and caring for AJ. I really appreciate all your help. Really I do."

"You don't have to thank us" McGee said "Tali is a part of our family and we do what we have to do to protect our family."

"That should become one of the cardinal rules" came a weak voice from behind and everyone looked up and smiled as they saw Tali moving slowly towards them with the doctor. "She wanted to stretch her legs and say hello" the doctor said "she shouldn't be doing much walking at the moment but very small amounts won't hurt."

Tali smiled at everyone "hey Abby hey Tim" she said softly and they both grinned as they moved over to hug her gently.

"It is so good to see you" Abby said as she embraced Tali who hugged her back "you too" she whispered before pulling back and they saw she looked tired and drained as if that short journey from the hospital room and down the hall had exhausted her.

The doctor noticed this and instantly held out his arm "come on" he said "we should get you back into bed."

Tali shook her head "I'm fine" she insisted and took a few wobbly steps forward and sank in a chair "I'll be ok" she said to her doctor who didn't look convinced but he nodded "I need to go check on some other patients" he said "so I'll leave you with your family ok."

He looked up at Tony "don't let her do too much walking" he said "and get her back into the bed as soon as you can."

Tony nodded "thank you" he said quietly watching Tali closely as she slowly leaned forward in the chair towards AJ drawing her dressing gown tighter around herself. He knew she was feeling the cold so much more right now and from the way she was curling her toes up in her slippers she was cold but also way to stubborn to admit that to anyone.

He sighed wondering how hard it was going to be helping her heal when she wouldn't even admit how injured she was…

"How are you feeling" Abby asked Tali "is there anything we can do for you because you know we would do anything right? Even like murder Jabez. I could find I was to poison him in his jail cell you know it wouldn't be hard… all it would take would be someone on the inside and …"

"Abby" Tali interjected with a smile "please don't get yourself arrested trying to kill Jabez. I'm fine… I just really want to get out of this hospital."

"Well depending on what your doctors think that could take a while" Tony said sinking into the chair beside Tali who scowled at that news before she turned her attention back to AJ who was calling out to her eagerly holding up some wooden blocks to her.

"Are you still in pain" Ziva asked her gently. Tali shrugged "less than I was when I woke up" she said "but it still hurts when I move and breathe deeply."

Both Abby and Tim looked over at Tony questioningly obviously wondering why Tali wasn't taking any painkillers. Tony dropped his head hating how his daughter couldn't even take solace in her dreams as they continued to terrify her with the memories of what had happened and no doubt what could have happened.

Indeed this wasn't going to be an easy fix. In fact he worried there might be no fix at all. No way to repair the damage that Jabez had done. And if that was the case… what were they going to do now?

Hope you liked that.

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Mysticgirl