Total Mayhem Chapter 10: The Great Outdoors, a weiss kreuz fanfic

Total Mayhem: Chapter Nine – The Great Outdoors

By Ptath and Lady Raina

Beta-ed by Silver Rayne

A special thank you to our amazing, wonderful, happy, energetic, inspiring, beloved, dear dear muse Thalia. We could not do this without you. glomps Thalia

Disclaimer: We do not own Weiss. Even if we could, simple self-preservation would dictate we stay far, far away.

'This' mean thinking to one's self ('time to introduce myself')

'This' means talking telepathically ('hello, my name is George,')

"This" means talking out loud ("I like cats.")

Ken gripped his coffee mug tightly. 'Please,' he thought desperately, 'don't let today start out like it did yesterday.' Aya-chan was puttering around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on breakfast. There was no telling who would make it down in time to enjoy it, though. The previous day's fun had been caused by Aya's screaming. Schuldig seemed to be behaving himself today, so there had been no early wake-up call.

He glanced over at Crawford. He and Aya-chan were the only people up and he couldn't hear any movement from upstairs. Maybe…maybe today would be ok after all.

Farfarello straightened a few pots. Then he pushed them around. And then he straightened them a bit more. Wasn't there anything else to do in here? He'd decided the night before that Ken probably needed looking after. Anyone who was so careless about invoking Murphy clearly needed help.

Of course, it could have been a one-time event. Nothing too major had happened so far. The fangirls had made their usual stop at the Koneko on their way to school, but the appearance of a one-eyed Irish mad-man seemed to put them off a bit and they'd left quickly.

Far cast a longing glance at the clock. It was almost eleven. After that, Ken would end his shift and the Koneko would be closed for lunch. If the idiot managed to make it until lunch without incident then he would be free to go find that priest that had wandered in on the Day of Murphy…

The pattering of feet indicated the arrival of a new customer. The sound of a flower pot hitting the floor informed Berserker that Ken had noticed the customer and was not happy about it. So much for making it through the day without Murphy making an appearance.

Ken gulped when Tot's eyes focused on him.

"Konnichiwa, Ken," she exclaimed. "Tamiko would like another bouquet, please. It's for her brother. What would you recommend?"

Schuldig bit back the urge to simply throttle the other redhead. Just because Crawford said he wasn't allowed to kill him didn't mean he wasn't allowed to maim him. All he'd done was ask what Aya-chan had been talking about when she'd mentioned pink sneakers. There was no reason to keep hitting him with those damned chopsticks!

'You annoying little freak, I was just asking you a question!' he growled silently. 'So stop hitting me and finish eating! When will you get it in your head that Talents need to eat more to be able to power our abilities!'

"Nii-san, Schuldig, please stop arguing."

Both telepaths jumped at the sound of Aya-chan's voice. After a moment of silence, Aya returned to his meal, doing his best to ignore the German that was now giving him a rather curious look.

'Don't tell me you didn't hear her either?' Schuldig asked.

'No, I didn't…' Aya's eyes narrowed. 'What did you mean by that?'

'What? Oh, that. I've never been able to hear her. Not when she was in a coma and not since she woke up. I've known Talents who give up everything they had for a chance to figure out how she just flies under the radar like that.'

Ken shoved the last bit of lunch into his mouth. His brown eyes wandered over to the Irish man who had decided to join him for lunch. "So…" he finally said. "I take it you have nothing to do today?" Farfarello shook his head. "I need to buy some new soccer gear. Want to help."

"…Sure."

"Great!" Ken was practically bouncing in his seat. "We only have four hours until school gets out, so we'd better hurry!"

Ken let his eyes wander greedily over the rows and rows of soccer gear. He was in heaven. His usual Kritiker salary was on the generous side. With eight months of back-pay at his disposal…

Thwack

Ken glanced over towards the golf equipment. Farfarello had wandered over there when Ken had failed to respond after a few minutes of staring at the shiny new gear.

Thwack.

…

Glass shattering…

The sound of a golf club hitting the ground…

"You're going to have to pay for that, you know," Ken told Farfarello. The Irish madman ignored him in favor of studying the nearby soccer cleats. A distressed wail echoed from the golf section.

"Farfarello," Ken began, extending a hand towards the other assassin. Said assassin spun around, a soccer cleat on his hand, the spikes pointing outwards.

Ken's body went rigid as the metal tips rammed into his hand. He whimpered slightly. It wasn't his fault…

Yohji sauntered down the stairs to steal a bit of dinner before heading out. Kudoh Yohji was getting back in action.

"You do realize that you reek, don't you?"

Ah, Crawford.

"Maybe to your untrained palate, oh mighty leader, but I have received numerous compliments on my cologne," Yohji shot back.

"They must have been unduly influenced by the stench. No matter, however. Make sure you're back in time for you shift tomorrow and you won't be excused on the grounds that you're hung-over."

'Bastard,' Yohji thought.

He decided to skip tasting Aya-chan's dinner and continued down to the garage. Inside, he discovered that Ken was putting his bike away after soccer practice. Farfarello, he also noticed, appeared to have tagged along.

"Have fun playing with the midgets, Ken-Ken?"

"Oh shut up," Ken muttered. He eyed Yohji's outfit for a moment before commenting. "You look like a slut."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Yohji commented dryly. "Be good, now."

Ken glared at Yohji as he pulled the Seven out of the garage and roared away. He sighed and hitched the bag of soccer gear higher. "Let's go in," he said to Farfarello.

The Irish man nodded and followed him upstairs, getting off at the second floor. Ken continued upwards to his room. After a quick shower, he threw on fresh clothes and headed back down for dinner.

"Hello, Ken," Aya-chan said, "how was practice?"

"Ok," he replied. "It was great seeing all the kids again." A goofy smile stretched across his face as he thought back to the practice match he and the kids had played.

Aya-chan grinned at him and handed him a dish. "Could you put this on the table, Ken?" she asked.

"Of course," he said and carried it to the table. A few minutes later, Aya-chan called everyone to dinner.

Schuldig looked at Farfarello. "You seem happy," he commented.

"Soccer is fun," was the reply.

"Did you go with Ken," Aya-chan asked.

"He did," Ken replied. "The kids loved him. The parents were terrified of him, which made the kids love him even more." He paused for a moment before continuing. "They had never seen someone who could dive through the mud and get dragged along the ground as much as Farfie did. They were very impressed."

The others eyed Berserker for a moment. He didn't have a scratch on him, unlike Ken who was covered in scrapes, cuts and bruises. Despite the shower he had taken earlier, he still had a faint air around him of mud and dirt. Farfarello's white clothes were spotless, however, and he hadn't changed in three days.

'I don't think we want to know how he managed to stay clean,' Nagi murmured to Omi.

Edited July 3, 2006:

Dialogue throughout edited to match standards of later chapters as well as plot lines developed at a later date. For a further explanation, see our Live Journal.

Well folks, only one chapter left in Aya's Week of Hell! Stay tuned for chapter 10: The Final Straw.

Big thanks to rebelyell59, Sacral, Anendee, NekoHitori and Sylvirwing! Your reviews mean a lot to us and we appreciate it.

Q and A time:

"the chapter chapter 8 seemed to be more of a space-filler"

In a way, this was a space-filler. Aya's having a bad week and it just keeps getting worse. "March of the Fangirls" is part of a mini-arc that ends in chapter 10, The Final Straw. It's all heading towards one event and we're almost there.

"is it supposed to sound like Aya screams like a girl"

Wouldn't you be screaming if someone coughSchuldigcough had just whipped back the shower curtain and started snapping pictures with the intent on sharing it with everyone in the house?

"who did leave the towel"

It was Ken. He dropped it when he went to go "save" Aya. Because of everyone tripping on it, it made its way from the third floor to the second floor. Ouch.

Q: (not really…)

"that was a very thoughtful gift from Schu"

Schu does like Aya and doesn't want him to be mad at him…of course, he is hoping Aya will eventually start sleeping with him…but mostly it was to apologize for his earlier "mistake".

Q: (not really, again…)

"I like especially how you made Aya a little grumpy, over-protective big brother"

Just wait a few chapters and we'll see Crawford cowering behind Aya-chan for protection from the big, bad Aya.

Hope that answer everything! Any more questions? Just drop us a line on your way out by pushing that little button down there that says "review".

See you next week!

PS: just as a side note, if a chapter appears without section breaks, it means the network here at school as started crawling like rush-hour traffic and getting the story up to begin with was a half-hour event. We'll try to make sure they're in, but please bear with us. Thanks again!

PPS: if you like Harry Potter, we've started an HP story called Twice in a Lifetime! Feel free to check it out!