So, let me start off with a HUGE SORRY for not updating in SO LONG but im going to start EVERY TIME I can/ whenever I have a break, like right now; SPRING BREAK :DDDD

And let say FAILLLL to myself b/c the link to my blog never posted, so I probably look pretty dumb XP so lets try again…

www. thinkingonalimb. livejournal. com/8724. html (take away the spaces…)

I do not own myspace, SWAC, all time low, etc

I opened the front door, threw my bag down and started skipping. Yes, skipping. Random? I know, but I was in a skipping mood.

"Why so happy?" I froze after hearing that voice. A voice I hadn't heard in years. Mom. I missed her, I wanted to see her again, why'd she have to leave me?

"Mom?" I questioned the room. Of course I didn't hear a response, why would she be hear? How would she be here? She left me, and not as in the 'tragic' dying way, no the way where she decided and chose to ditch me and my dad. She knew him! She knew what would happen when she left! And then her family had the nerve to call and tell me when she died! But she did it anyways. I felt like screaming my lungs out!

Deep breaths, just calm down. I reduced my breaths to soft pants, and went to the kitchen for a snack. I grabbed the first thing I saw- a granola bar and dragged my body up to my room, my happy skipping mood lost.

Instinctively I logged onto my myspace and saw that Mr. what's his name had posted a poem. I clicked to read it:

When your heart is a balloon

All it does is pop

From things like a scissor,

To things like a thumb-tack

To put it in words is yet

Too hard to describe

For all you do is tape it,

But never replace it,

Like stones in a bag

Making it heavier,

Never going away,

But pulling it down

How to describe when

Your heart's a balloon,

But just with never-ending

Holes

Man, that was deep, and I was complaining and who knows what else…

What got into him to write like that? Arghhhh, why can't he at least tell me his name, or maybe where he's from? And then he goes and stalks pictures of me? I just felt like screaming my lungs out and then doing it again. So I did a fairly good alternative, I turned my music on shuffle;

Manage me, I'm a mess

(got that right)

turn a page, I'm a book half unread

I wanna be laughed at, laughed with, just because

(haha, laughing)

I wanna feel weightless and that should be enough

but I'm stuck in this f**king rut

waiting on a second hand pick me up

and I'm over, getting older

if i could just find the time

then I would never let another day go by

I'm over, getting old!

By this point I had begun screaming along.

and maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year

and I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere

and this is my reaction to everything I fear

'cus i've been going crazy I dont wanna waste another minute here

Now while singing I was acting/dancing out the words with my AWESOME dance moves.

make believe that I impress, that every word by design turns a head

I wanna feel reckless, wanna live it up just because

I wanna feel weghtless 'cus that would be enough

if i could just find the time

then i would never let another day go by

I'm over, getting old!

and maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year!

and I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere

and this is my reaction, to everything I fear

'cus i've been going crazy I dont wanna waste another minute here

this could be all I've waited for

and this could be everything I dont wanna dream anymore

and maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year

and I've been going crazy im stuck in here

and maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year

and I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere

and this is my reaction to everything I fear

'cus I've been going crazy I dont wanna waste another minute here

Just one song and I already felt better, I decided it was time to IM or whatever mystery guy…

To: WishIWereU

From: YouDon'tScareMeX)

Seriously? You have time to update, but you don't email me?????? well, then! I just thought I'd let you know that I'm surprised! Wannabe you is ACTUALLY deep… well, not surprised but I thought I should let you know I liked you new poem a lot. Why r u so sad though? Is there anything I can do? Beat up a girl since u cant XD

~Janine (why should I hide my AWESOME name nyway if u know it)

Let's see what he has to say to that.