We got scars on our future hearts
But we never looked back

I don't wanna be the one that's left behind
Don't blame me, don't hate me

Jasper

When the bell rang, the three of us made our way to class. We sat in our seats in the back of the room and waited for the bell to ring.

"I thought it was too sunny for you to be in school." Isa signed lazily as she hopped onto my desk.

"It should've been. Clearly Forks stayed true to form and the sun went away." I answered.

She nodded and played with the ends of her hair. When the bell rang, she slid into her seat next to Ang.

Conner walked in and started to introduce our project.

The entire point of the project was to write about you and explain the hardest part of anything you go through or have went through.

This was the only class that Isa and I spoke in besides being called on. Neither of us spoke too loudly but we still had to participate in the presentations.

"Alright, Jasper you're up first."

I rolled my eyes but took my paper and walked to the front of the room. She took the paper from me and I turned towards the class.

I cleared my throat before I started to talk softly. "It's not easy writing about something that never was; a ghost if you will. The hardship extends past your emotional capabilities; past anything in your emotional capacities. Your thoughts catch up to your body and you realize, unwillingly at best, that physically you can only hold on to the memory for so long. The longer the time between the memory and reality, the more little parts start to fade, faster than you can keep up; disappearing quicker and quicker with each waking moment until it vanishes. Until it disappears without a trace; like each breath you take, slipping farther and farther away."

I took a breath and continued. "The affectations are the last to go. The memory of details start to fade right before your eyes and the big picture becomes a small illusion, leaving nothing but a small indent remaining as a permanent reminder of something you can't remember. I have all these little reminders littered all over my skin from every time a person reminds me of you. The beauty of you ran more than skin deep and even after you left, you stayed at the surface."

I sighed. The emotions in the room were confusing at best. Some were wary of the presentation. Others, such as Conner, were engrossed with the feeling I was revealing.

"It's been three times since I last saw you like this; the honesty on your too telling face. It felt like centuries when you last looked at me like this. Like we were strangers, yet we know – knew – so much about each other by chance. I ached for you with each word you said; the passion from before tattooed silently on my lips, but I kept quiet until you told me to go. That summer I spent in thought; that you'd want to try again. That you'd promise not to get heatstroke, that you'd unwrap yourself from the past that haunted you so. But you can only unwind so far before you get to the core and realize that space only extends at arms' length. You can't rebuild a complexity as such on sand."

I paused stuck in thought before a small smirk graced my face and I lifted a hand, running it through my hair and revealing my topaz eyes.

Isa had taken my hair tie during lunch and tied her hair back. She and Ang smirked in their seats and I felt their mutual amusement as the class gasped in shock.

I send back my own amusement and finished my presentation.

"I said: I never believed in love; love is not an unlimited resource. But you made me think otherwise and I would've given everything if you let me. Maybe I was right. You can put everything into love but if it's not requited you may as well have never tried form the start.

"You said: The time wasn't right.

"I said: Love would wait, and it did; but you didn't, you were already gone."

I ran my hand through my hair again as I walked back to my seat.

One by one, the rest of the class went up and Isa was the last to go.

"Isabella." Conner called.

I laughed quietly with Ang as Isa rolled her eyes and let down her hair.

She bent over, fluffing her hair in front of me before straightening up and walking to the front of the room.

I could feel the lust of the males in the room and the jealousy of the girls as she swayed her hips unintentionally, her ass and legs looking perfect in her shorts. She pulled her hair over her shoulders and let her bangs fall to cover her face as she stood in front of the class and bit her lip.

The lust in the room spiked as well as the jealousy, which jumped as soon as she opened her mouth.

"A girl who seems so happy cries on the bathroom floor. A girl who seems to cope well cuts herself every day. A girl who seems so pretty throws up in the toilet. A girl who seems perfect isn't. The good girls face their feet the wrong way in bathroom stalls, tying their sweet tongues taut to muffle the vowel sounds water-falling into the warmth over their two fingers pointed like guns to their belly. The bad girls sit alone in dark room humming softly to cover their gut wrenching sobs as they count calories and condoms; their bodies skipping periods like mistaken typewriters. Am I a good girl or a bad girl?" she pondered. "I am neither; I am worthless. Hemingway said it best. 'Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.' Maybe I am unintelligent to feel happy while I am dying slowly."

She bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair, revealing her beautiful eyes, and tapped a single finger, painted deep red, to her chin.

She sighed and ran her tongue over her lips, pulling the bottom right corner into her mouth. "I need someone to speak for me. Please?" her voice took on a hint of persuasion and I could feel the lust rise to dangerous peaks as she continued. "Someone speak for me; make them make me better, because I can't make me better and I can't make me worse. I only have the power to stare you in the face and share my riddled metaphors; to stare at myself in the mirror and hate myself, but not change it."

She pulled her forever long, thick hair over one shoulder as she spoke, the lust rising with every syllable her throat sounded and every shape her lips made.

"I feel weak because I want to. I tell myself I'm slowly dying, that I'm slowly withering away, because I wish I was. I wish to be a tiny pile of nothing as I collapse at your feet, ready to be raced to the hospital and chained to machines. Machines that fill me with the things I need; the things that caused this."

She twisted her hair in her hands before tossing it over her shoulder and letting it cascade down her back. She crossed her arms under her breast and I shared some of the lust I was feeling with her as well as a warning.

She sent back her amusement and an emotional apology before dropping her arms and finishing up her presentation.

"I want to tell you that my heart is stuttering, every night, when I lie restless listening to the sound of my empty stomach. I slide my fingers under the fabric of my shirt and feel its feeble march beneath my fingertips. I want to bend forward and show you the twists and turns of my spine and ribs and how I don't know how to navigate. Because I don't."

She made her way back to her seat and high fived Ang as she sat.

She turned to me as Conner started talking about the next project.

"I think I did better than you." she signed.

"Your essay, so violent and volatile." I signed, sharing my false concern with her.

She smiled and sent me her amusement as she signed. "Fuck you Jasper; yours wasn't any better. Did someone break your heart?"

I laughed quietly as I signed back. "How'd you know; and here I thought I was so good at hiding it."

She giggled sweetly as the bell rang.

"Are we going to Italian today?" Ang asked as we stopped at our locker.

Isa and I shared a look. "No." we said together.

"You wanna hurry up." We both turned to look at Alice when we heard her voice. "You're blocking my locker.

Isa rolled her eyes and continued brushing her hair.

I smirked and shrugged when Alice glared at me.

"It's been like four months; do you think I can get away with burning down your house and have it look like an accident?" she asked as we walked out to my truck.

"Possibly but can I move out first?" I asked helping them into the truck.

"Of course; I couldn't kill my best friend. Although Peter pushes that on the daily." She laughed.

"I'm going to kill him for you so no worries." Ang said.

"What did he do now?" I asked as I drove to my cabin.

"He wants me to move to Texas but won't move up here for a bit while I finish school." She explained. "I have no problem moving but I'm not leaving right this minute."

"Understandable. But we only have like four months left of school. Then a two week break until graduation." Isa said turning in her seat.

"That's what I said but he's not happy." Ang sighed.

"School is important. He'll get over it." Isa assured her.

She sent me a mixture of emotions that let me know it would be my job to convince Peter to chill the fuck out and move up here.

I nodded and sent back my acceptance.

Hopefully he doesn't piss me off too badly.

A/N: Another chapter is done! Hopefully this version is better and easier to keep up with.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Review please!