I wake up on Boxing Day morning feeling really happy. I reach over for the parchment on my bedside table and smile when I see that there is a lengthy letter written on it.

Dear Lily,

As promised, every day this parchment will bear a new reason to why I love you. Sirius helped me make it, he's rather good with things like this. Ok, so reason number one.

I love you because every single time I see you, whether you're in my favour or not, I smile. You make me want to drop everything, run at you, pull you into my arms, and kiss you. It makes me so happy now to know that you probably wouldn't object to me doing that, so expect it to happen once in a while!

I love you so very, very much, and I can't wait to see you this morning! Let's go for a walk into Hogsmeade, if the weather will permit it! Unless you have other ideas, of course. I feel guilty that I seem to take up most of your time.

Love, yes, true love,

James x

Now I'm even happier. I pull on some clothes, (including the sweater he bought me), and rush downstairs. He's there, as usual, grinning that wonderful perfect smile of his.

"Did you read it?"

To answer him, I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him lovingly.

"You liked it then?"

I nodded and kissed him again, melting into his arms.

"Good," he laughed, and wiped a strand of hair back from my eyes. "I do love you, you know."

"And you think I don't?" I looked up at him, still cradled in his arms, "I love you more than anyone," I whispered, hugging him tightly.

He smiled and looked down at me with affection in his eyes. "Let's go," he said, twirling me round to disentangle us and then taking my hand.

"Yes, let's," I beamed and squeezed his hand as we walked over to the portrait hole.

After a short breakfast we walked down to Hogsmeade chatting about normal things like Quidditch and school. We stopped just before entering the village and kissed tenderly.

"What a perfect morning," James smiled.

"I know, and it's not even ten yet!" I said as we walked towards the first shop, Honeydukes.

"Want anything?" asked James, jingling his pocket; I could hear several coins inside it.

"No, no, I'm fine, let's go up to the Shrieking Shack." I didn't want him to spend anymore money on me.

"Ok, sure, and then we can go to the three broomsticks after, have a butterbeer to warm us up."

"I'm already warm," I said softly, putting my arm around his waist.

He smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. I fitted snugly into the crook of his arm. "We fit," he noticed, "like two jigsaw pieces. It's like I was a nearly completed jigsaw, one piece missing, for ages, and then I found you, and you were the missing piece. I was whole again."

"Nice analogy," I laughed.

"I love your laugh. It makes me all warm inside just to hear it."

I didn't know what to say to this. I just smiled up at him.

"You're perfect, Lily, you know that?"

"It's nice of you to think so," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

In the three broomsticks James bought us two butterbeers (he insisted he paid), and we sat down with Sirius and Remus.

"Where's Peter?" asked James.

"Couldn't be bothered to come, I think," said Remus.

"I wonder why, it's a lovely day." I said.

"Lovely and cold, more like. I'm bloody freezing!" moaned Sirius, miming a shiver.

"What are you guys doing later?"

"Thought we'd merge Quidditch with a snowball fight- basically a snowball fight on brooms but with scoring, you in?" says Sirius while Remus rolls his eyes at me.

James eyes flick to me, and I smile encouragingly. "Umm, no, I'm spending the day with Lily."

"No! James, honest, you have fun. You deserve some, and I thought I might see Severus- if you don't mind, that is."

"Well…" you could see he was thinking hard, longingly of Snowball Quidditch, but also worrying about me seeing Severus.

"Honest, I'll be fine!" I say and pat his arm softly.

"Ok then," he says reluctantly.
"Wow, thanks Lily!" cries Sirius, who claps James round the shoulders. "You won't regret it, mate."

"I think I already do," he mutters softly, but I don't think anyone hears him except me.

The rest of the afternoon is passed in the Three Broomsticks, James and Sirius getting more and more excited about Snowball Quidditch, making up rules, and Remus and I talking about his transformations and how it feels to be a werewolf. Eventually we are shooed out by Madame Rosmerta and we walk back up to the castle, laughing hard at Sirius and James' jokes.

We all go up to the common room, where Sirius and James collect their broomsticks and Remus and I sit by the fire.

"Right, we're ready for off, sure you don't want to join in?" says Sirius, then laughs at the looks on our faces.

"Absolutely positive, thanks. I'm going to read the book Lily gave me yesterday, in peace, for once."

"And you're sure you're ok with me going, Lily?"

"Yes! You go have fun, I'll see you later." I reach up and kiss him softly, leaving a smile on both our faces.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too."

Then they head out of the portrait hole, shouldering their broomsticks with enormous grins on their faces.

Remus looks up from his book. "Are you going to see Snape?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, no reason, just wondered… is James happy about it?"

"Not really, but he's getting used to the idea of him being friends with me again."

"I see. Well, have a good time!"

"I will." I say, beaming, and walk away.

"Lily! What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, of course! I thought you'd be here."

Severus was sat under a wide tree overlooking the lake, near to the whomping willow. It was his hideout for watching James, Sirius, Remus and Peter when they were at the Whomping Willow, he had showed me a few years ago. We had spent many weekends just laid under the tree, doing homework, or talking. The ground was covered with snow, but Severus had brought down an emerald green blanket, and had charmed a fire in a jar to keep him warm.

"Can I sit down?"

He moved slightly to one side, clearing a space. I took that for a yes, and sat down.

"So, doing some more spying?" I looked over to where I could see two figures in the air, lobbing snow at each other.

"No," he said too quickly, blushing furiously.

"Have I done something wrong?" I asked, worried.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Why?"

"You just- shouldn't."

"Severus, I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Just leave it, ok?"

"Sev…"

"What? Lily, what?"

"I just wondered…"

"You're always just wondering, but never understanding!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Just leave me alone."

"I thought we were friends again…"

"Well you thought wrong!" His eyes flicked over to where the figures on brooms were dismounting. They appeared to be coming this way.

"What can I do, Sev? Please, tell me what I can do to get it back to how it was."

"It can never be how it was."

"Can it be a different way, then? Can we just start again?"

He was watching the figures avidly now. They were getting closer and closer. "There are only two ways it can be now, Lily," he said quietly.

"Then tell me! Tell me the two ways, and we can work on it! We can be friends again, I know it!"

He gave a hollow laugh. "We can never be friends again."

"Severus, please. What are the two ways?"

He held up a finger. "One- you stay with Potter and we never speak again."

I opened my mouth to speak and he silenced me with a glare.

He looked back at the figures, now distinguishable as James and Sirius.

"Go on…" I say desperately.

"Two- you leave Potter and never speak to him or his friends again. Then I'll be your friend."

"Severus… I can't… I just can't… can't do that to them," I can feel the tears welling up but I blink them away. I have to make him understand.

"Then you have chosen option one."

"No! No, I haven't, honestly! I choose option three! Where James is my boyfriend and you are my best friend! Can it not work that way?"

"Lily, I hate him more than I hate myself for doing this to you. I hate him so much it hurts. Can you not understand that?" He looked at me, pleading with his eyes. "Choose option two, Lily, please."

I stand up, wanting to be sick. "I can't make this decision. James is willing to let me see you, at least! Why can't you understand, Severus?"

"I do."

"No, you don't! You're tearing me in half! You can't love me at all, to do this to me! This is all about hate, with you, isn't it? With James it's about love, you see. He loves me, so he's willing to let me see you. You can't love me, or otherwise you'd want me to be happy. You wouldn't be making me decide between you and him all the time!" I'm shouting now, and I can't help it. I hear a distant cry of "Lily" in the distance, which means James has noticed me and is coming for me. "You know what, Severus? You're just jealous of him! It's not hate! He has everything you want! Me, good looks, Quidditch skill, good friends, talent, knowledge, a happy home, money, all the things you don't have but do want! And you can't stand it that he has them all! You're just jealous!"

"Why- what- why would I be jealous of him? Yes, he has some things I wish I- possessed, but, but he's a bully, Lily, can't you see that!?"

"Some things you wished you possessed. So I'm just something you wished you possessed, am I? A trophy prize? Well, Severus, no wonder I chose him!" With that I walk away, but a hand pulls me back, a sweaty, small hand. I whip round. "What?"

"You're not something to be possessed. I meant your heart. I wish I had your heart," he said, and then suddenly, he leant towards me, and his lips met mine, roughly pushing them apart with his tongue.

"Get away from her," someone snarled.

Wow, major event! What did you think? Please review and tell me! Also, does anyone have any ideas on how to make it better, or what to do next? All comments welcome! I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank all those people who add my story to their Story Alert subscriptions and as their favourite story! Also thank you to all those who add me to their Author Alert subscriptions and as one of their favourite authors! And to everyone who reviewed- there's a special mention coming up next time!
Much love,
Molly x