31 Ways to Annoy Alphonse Elric
Inform him that Ed is allergic to cats, so he can't have one.
Bring home a dog instead.
Name the aforementioned dog 'Killer'.
Buy Killer a cat plushie to play extremely violent tug-of-war with.
Tell him the SPCA's policy on animals that have not been adopted after two months.
Every time you see someone wearing fur, mutter, 'So that's what happened to Fluffy…' just loud enough for him to hear.
Then run up to the offending person and start screaming, 'No! Not Fluffy! NOOOOOOOOOOO!'
Bug Al until he helps you with this.
Wait until he starts yelling at the person wearing 'Fluffy', then loudly start telling people that no, you don't know him.
Take pictures of this and show them to Ed.
Ask him why he wears that cloth thing around his waist when there's nothing there that needs covering.
Wonder out loud why he isn't always walking into walls, since he has no eyes to speak of.
Ask him why he's afraid pf swimming, bathing, falling into rivers, etc. but walking in the rain is perfectly OK.
Wonder out loud if it's possible for suits of armor to get B.O.
Add something along the lines of, 'Is Al even old enough to get B.O.?'
Tell him that it must suck to have to constantly worry about rain.
Jokingly inform him that maybe being stuck in the suit of armor isn't such a bad thing; at least he gets to skip puberty.
Get Ed to give him 'The Talk'.
Videotape his reaction.
Use special, permanent paint to color him pink.
Call his toga-thing a skirt.
Inform him that he is the buffest girl you have ever seen.
Casually mention that he isn't very graceful, for a girl.
Send him to ballet lessons.
Make sure that the name of the ballet school has the words 'beauty and grace' somewhere in the name.
Insist he wear a tutu. Make sure it's pink.
Take pictures of him wearing the pink tutu.
Tell everyone at the school that he is a 'hot' new supermodel from Norway.
Sell the aforementioned pictures to all of his admiring fans.
Loudly mention that now, Ed isn't the only girly Elric brother.
Show him an M rated Elricest story and tell him that this is what will happen if he doesn't set his brother up with either Mustang or Envy.