Rating: NC-17.
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell or any other character, location, or whatever is mentioned in the works of Melinda Metz or Jason Katims, FOX, WB, and UPN.
Author's Note: As apologies for giving you such a "heart wrenching/heartbreaking" chapter, as most of you said, here is a long chapter of sexy-goodness! But then again who said the drama was over? ;) I wrote this chapter all in one go and then kept going back to revise it. Hope this satisfies you all! All spellings errors in this chapter are deliberate.
Chapter Nine:
I never thought that I could be so satisfied.
Every time that I look in your angel eyes,
a shock inside me that words just can't describe
and there's no explaining.
Something in the way you move, I can't deny.
Every word from your lips is a lullaby.
A twist of fate makes life worthwhile.
You are gold and silver.
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head,
but then pop! goes my heart.
(Pop! goes my heart)
I wasn't gonna fall in love again,
but then pop! goes my heart,
(Pop! goes my heart)
and I just can't let you go.
I can't lose this feeling.
These precious moments, we have so few.
Let's go far away where there's nothing to do but play.
You show to me that my destiny's with you
and there's no explaining.
Let's fly so high.
Will you come with me tonight?
In your dress, I confess you're the sole sunlight.
The way you shine in the starry skies,
You are gold and silver.
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head,
but then pop! goes my heart.
(Pop! goes my heart)
I wasn't gonna fall in love again,
but then pop! goes my heart,
(Pop! goes my heart)
and I just can't let you go.
I can't lose this feeling.
A twist of fate makes life worthwhile.
You are gold and silver.
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head,
but then pop! goes my heart.
(Pop! goes my heart)
I wasn't gonna fall in love again,
but then pop! goes my heart.
(Pop! goes my heart)
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head,
but then pop! goes my heart.
(Pop! goes my heart)
I wasn't gonna fall in love again,
but then pop! goes my heart,
(Pop! goes my heart)
and I just can't let you go.
"Pop! Goes My Heart," PoP! (aka Hugh Grant).
December 11, 2000, Monday; New York City:
Like Present-Liz, Future-Liz was having a rough couple of days of her own—only sexually frustrated more like it. The cocky but sexy Zan happened to appear at every corner at every moment, slightly grazing himself against her. He'd whispered things into her ears that weren't necessarily sexy, such as "Pass me the butter," "You dropped your sock in the bathroom," or "Want food?" But god, the way he said them made her shiver like a young wanton woman like her husband had once done to her. Zan would breathe heavily against the side of her face, whisper his sexless sayings, and lick the outer shell of her ears. Who knew the ears were so sensitive? He'd teased her by running his lips down her neck, only every once in a while letting his hot tongue drag against her skin. He'd brush his fingers along the top of her breasts and sought out her already hard nipples. He'd too often brush his rock-like erection against her backside, letting her feel exactly what she was missing out on. And every time she'd lose self-control, overwhelmed with the want to satisfy the ache in between her legs, and was ready to attack him, he would leave her high and wanting more. She remembered trying to grasp onto his arms and his shirt, but he'd quickly maneuver himself away from her with a smirk and a wink. He would walk away, still staring at her with such lust, licking his lips as he disappeared into his bedroom with the door shut.
It would always end the same way: she would scream in frustration once he was gone that always brought a smile to Zan's face. He'd even given her a nickname—"Angel"—because apparently she looked oh so innocent to him. He said something along the lines that she was sent there for him. How can someone so cocky yet insensitive still turn her on? Max was nothing like Zan both mentally and emotionally. Max cared for her and made it known to her every day. He kissed with her with such love that she never doubted their feelings for each other. Sex wasn't just sex for him; it was making love. But with Zan, it seemed like primal lust as if they had to do it according to nature. He said nothing of his feelings for her, but only letting her know how much he wanted to fuck her. Fuck being the word, not love.
Zan knew what he was doing to her. He enjoyed seeing this strong petite girl flush when he rubbed himself against her. Watching her moan with her head thrown back in need of more turned him on like never before. Sure, he had been hard before, but not like this. The erection she gave him felt unsatisfied even when he spilled his semen. He couldn't will it away nor would it fall. It was as if he had Viagra in his system twenty-four-seven.
Zan was a lady's man, simple as that. He fucked them with pure sexual passion and left them still high. Not that most of the women minded anyway. They enjoyed being taken passionately by some stranger and he would leave them completely and utterly satisfied. Then there were those who wanted him to commit to them, never experiencing what he gave them before, but he couldn't. No, he didn't want to. Sex was the only thing he was good for. Those women didn't care for him; they only wanted his body. There was no room in his life for emotional attachments or commitment. He was the perfect fantasy for women to curl up in bed and read about in those steamy Fabio-covered novels. He fucked them, got off, and left as if he was a figment of their horny imagination. Never had he had a feeling for the hundreds of women he slept with, but with Liz, it was different. Just watching her do the simplest things such as throwing out the garbage turned him on. When she washed the dishes, he took notice of her tight bottom that seemed like a perfect fit in his hands. When she wiped the table, he noticed how her body swayed back and forth as if she was privately dancing for him. When she watched TV, he noticed how her mouth parted open and wondered what it would feel like with his cock buried in her small hot mouth. He wanted her like he never wanted anymore before. Her constant rejection had hurt his ego a little, just slightly bruised. He had never put so much effort in trying to fuck someone before. Most of the time, the women came to him or they just melted once he took them into his arms. But Liz—she was an enigma. She put up a brick wall and many times, over and over again, spurned him, but he could see the desire in her eyes. By the heavy panting of her opened mouth, he noticed her flush, wanting him to satisfy the burning he caused in her. He knew why she resisted him. She was torn apart with the idea of being with him and cheating on her husband (who, sadly, looked like him), and that's why he wanted to break down her walls, wanted her to beg for him, wanted her to want him back. He wanted her to want him and only him. He wanted her to want Zan.
He was alarmed of the feelings she stirred inside him. He tried to ignore it, but it was hard when he was constantly hitting on her. He could pretend all he wanted, but he already knew he was falling for her—something that had never happened before to him and he hadn't even fucked her yet. He hadn't even fucked her yet! What the hell was that? How could he love someone without even knowing what she felt underneath him? What she felt around his cock? Or what she tasted like? At night, he would toss and turn, frustrated by his constant perverse dreams of taking her forcefully and marking her as his property. He had even developed a closer relationship with his hands and that disgusted him to no ends. Zan was the man. Zan does not go to his hands for comfort. Zan could have any women he wanted. Willing women would spread their legs, moaning to him to slip his cock into their hungry pussies. Zan does not go to his hands. Zan was THE man. But even Zan da Man could not ignore it all.
He knew she belonged to his double from the future. Cursing himself every night, he wished that he had met her first, that he had a different life—one that involved her. Hell, he wouldn't mind being his double in this current time because that means he would get to be with this amazing woman. He would be able to watch her grow before his eyes. He understood why his double had set his sights on her. She wasn't just beautiful. There were no words to describe just how amazing she looked. She looked oh so angelic yet the confidence in her walk and the passion in her eyes told him different. She had a small button nose, pouty lips, and cheeks that blushed whenever he was near her. She was strong yet wise and her eyes held something innocent in them. She was smart and quick on her feet, able to battle him to the end of their wits on any topic. She was small, but her curves made up for it. She wasn't overly large in the chest or ass department, but she was perfect in that she would fit in the palm of his hands. It was as if she was made deliberately for him. Yes, Zan da Man was jealous and head over heels.
Suddenly, he was elbowed on the side, snapping him out of his, once again, somewhat perverse thoughts. He brought his attention back to the group sitting around the wobbly table. He was sitting to Liz's left with Rath to her right. Lonnie to Rath's right and Ava to Lonnie's right. Their eyes all focused on him. "What?" he asked, not paying attention to what they were talking about.
"Where's yo head at? Focus man," said Rath. "We's were sayin' dat we'd leave in four days. Head up to Roswell, New Mexico. Do yer bitch's biddin' and scram."
"I'm not his bitch," angrily said Liz as she pinched Rath's arm.
"Hey!" Rath rubbed where she squeezed his flesh and pinched her back. "Don't touch me!"
"Don't touch me!" she mocked.
"Yo, King. Git yer whore under control!"
"I'm not his whore!" Liz then launched a feminine punch-slap attack on him (which she had long ago learned from Maria).
"Stop it, woman!" he said, trying to avoid her slaps, which ended with him putting Liz in a head-lock.
"Let go!" she screamed, struggling to break free.
"Say it!" he roared with a snicker.
"Get off!"
"SAY IT!"
"RATH, GET OFF NOW!"
"I ain't lettin' go till ya say it!"
"Fine, you want me to say it? RATH LOVES TO TAKE IT UP THE ASS!"
Rath sputtered with a growl. "Oh, dat's it! Ya wanna be funny? Ya wanna be funny, huh? I show ya funny!" he cried, adding a knuckle-sandwich. "How do ya like dat, ehh? How do ya like dem fruits?" he said, grinding his knuckles harder into her head.
"STOP, RATH. STOP IT! STOPPP!" Wanting to be free, Liz shrieked, "FINE, FINE! RATH IS GANGSTAAAAAAAAAA!" Then her head dislodged from Rath's arms. A little dazed, she rubbed her head and kicked him in the shin in revenge while she tried to fix her now frizzy hair.
Ava, Lonnie, and Zan stared wide-eyed in confusion. When had Rath become so chummy with Liz? It was only just last week that Rath was threatening to kill Liz and now they were friendly-attacking each other.
"Someone wanna explain what jus' happ-ed?" asked Ava.
"We bonded ova a slice," said Rath.
Rath had wanted to interrogate Liz some more, seeing as he was probably the only one in his group who truly cared about going home, about understanding where he came from, and meeting his true family. He always felt that Earth wasn't his home and right off the bat, Liz knew Rath was exactly like Michael who always searched for something more. He had cornered her outside when he went out for a smoke and saw her coming back with the pizza. She had wanted to get some fresh air so she offered to pick it up. After a few minutes of yelling at each other like a brotherly-sisterly relationship (why they were arguing in the first place, they could no longer remember), pizza became the peace offering. They bonded, sitting on the sidewalk, eating pizza slices. In the end, Rath felt nothing but brotherly love for Liz, wanting to protect her against all things evil alien. He, of course, was the General. Protection was his job; that and blowing up things.
Lonnie rolled her eyes and said, "I ain't even gonna ask," as she picked off an imaginary lint off her pants. Zan scowled at how Rath had easily placed his hands on Liz like he had claim over her.
"So we head up to New Meh-he-co and den what?" asked Ava. "I don't think they's gonna welcome us wit' open arms." She crinkled her nose and scratched her head. Her blonde and purple hair fell over her eyes and she blew it out of her face.
"The problem is," Liz bit her bottom lip and stared at the floor, "I won't be able to come with you guys."
All three heads snapped towards her directions and cried out, "WHAT?!"
"I mean, probably not the entire way. Look, a friend of mine told me that if I were to come into contact with my past self, we'll both be obliterated, so there's no way I can be in Roswell. You know, just to be safe so I don't happen to turn around the corner and bump into… myself."
"Why didn't ya tell us soon-na?" asked Zan. She knew he was angry. He practically had flames seeping out of his eyes and smoke out his ears. Not to mention, she saw his drinking cup crack from the corner of her eye, but not enough for the liquid to seep out.
"I was going to, but with everything so far, I'd figure I'd tell you later."
"Like when?"
She shrugged. "I don't know, the day we leave?"
"Wha' da hell?!" he yelled. The crack in the cup widened. Oh, Liz was pushing his buttons.
"What else ain't ya tellin' us?" asked a concerned Ava.
Liz really didn't want to tell them this part. Truthfully, she had kind of enjoyed this group. She knew that in many ways, they were similar to her group, but they were reckless and wild. They lived freely without a care of what other people thought because they knew they were special. They embraced their difference and accepted it completely. The fact that they were abandoned by absolutely everyone with no one to take them in made them tighter as a unit, tighter than her own group sadly. Where in her group, if one were to cause trouble, the group would be torn apart, where as with this group, even when they argued, they brushed it off like it was no big deal.
"If you guys successfully achieve, no… When you guys succeed in changing history, a different version of the future will take place. All the events that led to who I am fourteen years from now will be different. The woman I am now will…" Liz didn't want to say it for the thought of it was too horrible for her to want to admit. "… will cease to exist," she choked out.
She saw the shocked looks on their faces, but Zan's face… It was currently unreadable. Then the cup exploded into pieces. Oh, Liz had done it now. The next thing she knew was she was being lifted off her feet and plopped over Zan's shoulder. "ZAN! What are you doing?! Let me down! LET ME DOWN!" she cried as he carried her into his bedroom. The group stared at Zan's retreating back with a flailing Liz on his shoulders, rolled their eyes, and began to eat dinner with Rath fixing the broken cup as if it was a daily occurance.
Once in the bedroom, with the door slamming shut behind Zan, he dropped her down onto the bed like a heavy luggage. As soon as she came back down to Earth, she got back up on her feet and shoved him. "What the hell is your fucking problem, Zan?!"
He was taken aback by the push. No one pushed him like that, not even Rath. Once regaining his balance, he advanced on her. "What is my problem? What is your problem? How could ya not tell me?"
"I was going to!" Liz tried not to back down, but it was hard to go against a six-foot-one body made of nothing but muscle. As his face closed in on hers, she felt the back of her knees hit his bed.
"No, I mean sooner! Why didn't ya tell me sooner?!"
"I don't know!" She ran her fingers through her hair, frustrated. Walking away from him and the bed, she felt awkward that she was in his room. This was the first time she had been in his room. His bed was unmade with two pillows tossed carelessly in the middle. On either side of the bed were two drawers. The left cabinet had a lamp with a stack of worn books on top of it. The right had a box of tissues and a clock on top of it. Across the room was another drawer, but bigger; she assumed it was where he kept his clothes. To the side of the left cabinet by the bed was a closet with a mirror attached to the door.
Zan saw Liz analyzing his room, but he could care less what his room looked like to her. He was furious and he demanded some answers. He wasn't just plain angry. He was furious. He was a volcano that had already erupted and was still blowing up lava, wanting to wreck havoc on the civilization around him. "TELL ME!" he yelled. The lamp suddenly exploded due to his anger that had leaked out his powers. He grabbed her arm so she could focus on him and pushed her into the wall with his body.
Liz hated when Max cornered her with his body against the wall when they were fighting. It made her feel weak and weak she wasn't. But Zan was doing the same to her now, evoking the same weak feelings she felt with Max. He pressed her against the wall firmly and she hissed when she felt his hands grip her arms tighter. "Stop it, Zan. You're hurting me," she whimpered.
"TELL ME!" he yelled once again as he pulled her an inch away from the wall and pushed her back into it. Anything movable in the room started to shake. The light began to flicker wildly.
God, he's going to hurt me, she thought fearfully. She never had seen Max this angry before and judging from Zan's nature, there was no telling what he could do to her. Suddenly, she felt afraid for her life. This man that stood before her was not just an alien but he was definitely not human at this moment. He was an animal. She could feel the violent heat radiate off his body and the heavy breaths on her face. She had to tell him. She had to. If she didn't, he may… "I was afraid!" she admitted, tearing up.
Zan blinked. He wasn't expecting that response from Liz. He was hoping to hear some half-assed response so he could release more of his anger at her. He wondered how she could not tell him what will happen when they changed the future. He shook his head, almost in denial. How could she keep something this important from him? How could she not trust him with her thoughts and feelings? And most importantly, how could she not go to him? But upon hearing her choke back her tears and at the sight of her trembling lower lip, he suddenly regretted his brutal ways. He felt all the anger drain from his body and uneasiness took place. He didn't mean to be so rough with her. He wasn't a monster. He wasn't abusive. He never hit a woman before. He just… He couldn't control himself, especially not around Liz. Silently cursing at himself with a frown, he raised a shaky hand to the side of Liz's face and noticed her flinch. He clenched his teeth, hurt that she would think he would hit her. He would never hit her. Never. He would rather die before he hit her. He rubbed his thumb back and forth against her cheek, showing just how much he was sorry. "Afraid of what?" he asked softly, hoping to understand.
She was surprised by his sudden change of tone. One minute, he was abusive and the next, he was gentle. She decided he was either bipolar or the fact that how he grew up never taught him how to be in control of his emotions. In fact, perhaps it was just in his DNA. She remembered when Max had once grabbed her as roughly as Zan did. Once their argument had calmed down, Max quickly repented. She knew Max hadn't meant to be so rough with her and in this moment, she knew Zan hadn't meant to be so violent with her either. Or was she just that easy to manipulate when it came to these two men in her life? Still unnerved yet unable to help but forgive him, she responded, "If… If I say it, then I admit it will happen. If I say I will cease, then it will happen."
In the short period of time Zan knew her, he knew nothing but her strength. It was in this moment that he truly saw how fragile she was, that she was upset with all the events that happened in her time, that she mourned for the loss of her husband, that she was afraid of disappearing. "Liz, baby," he breathed out. His hand went under her chin and tilted her head up so their eyes could meet. He sucked in his breath when he saw the tears slipping out from the corners of her eyes. He pressed his forehead against hers.
Liz tried to move her face away, trying to get away, but he only forced her to look back at him as his fingers wrapped around the back of her neck. "Don't," she pleaded, closing her eyes to avoid his gaze.
"Angel, look at me."
"I can't." She was too afraid to look at him. She was afraid because of the feelings of her impending death, but in this moment, mostly because of the feelings he stirred inside of her. She had been fighting him for so long, but now… if she were to look at him, she knew she couldn't restrain herself anymore.
"Please, Liz," said Zan, his voice turning husky. "Look at me."
Biting her lip, she opened her eyes and immediately regretted it because she couldn't tear her eyes away from his. His eyes had darkened till they were almost pure black. His breathing had quickened with his jaw clenched tightly. She could smell the spiciness in his breaths. She saw how close the mole on his upper lip was to her. Oh how she wanted to taste him. He rubbed his nose against hers, enjoying the feeling of this close proximity. His fingers trailed down her collarbone, grazing against the top of her breasts that were ready to spill out of her tank top.
"Zan," she breathed out almost in pleasure at the feather-like touch. They couldn't deny it anymore. They both wanted each other and in this moment, they both needed each other. With a growl, he went to take her lips, but stopped short. He wanted to make sure she wanted this. He didn't want to take her against her own will. He didn't want her to regret this. Suddenly feeling brave, Liz's tongue flicked at his lower lip, tasting only a small preview of Zan. That was the answer he needed. His lips quickly descended down onto hers. Their lips nipped at each other's before his tongue found its way into her mouth. Oh god, after a week of sexual frustration, she was finally given what she had been craving for. He was eating her alive. His lips were everywhere, nibbling, biting, and sucking. Her arms wrapped around his neck as his left hand slid down to her leather-covered bottom, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. His other hand tangled itself into her hair. She couldn't help but moan as his hot tongue slid against hers. He tore his lips away, trailing them down her neck while his hand kneaded her ass.
Liz rubbed herself against him, unable to control the ache in between her legs that wanted to be satisfied. He was hard against her heat and she desperately rocked herself against it. Zan growled at the friction and nipped at her jaw as she panted into his ear. His hand slid under her tank top to find she wasn't wearing a bra. With a deep growl, his fingers quickly found their way onto her nipple and pinched it, enjoying how hard it felt in between his fingers. He tugged at it, enjoying its bounce. She threw her head back and once her neck was exposed to Zan, his lips latched onto the pulse of her neck.
"Bed now," she moaned out as he cupped her breast entirely. She fidgeted in his arms as his hand softly kneaded the flesh.
That was all he needed to hear before he stumbled his way to the bed with Liz in his arms. Dropping down, he quickly dissolved their clothes with the wave of his hand. She smiled. Being an alien had some of its perks, she thought. His body was gorgeous. He was ripped in all the right places. His pecs and abs were so defined that she was sure her chest would have an imprint of his chest. The sight of the tattoos that graced his body turned her on even more. They told her the life story of Zan. They were a part of him. She felt his penis tap against her womanhood. God, he's so big, she thought. Her hand reached down and grabbed his engorged penis while she caught his bottom lip in between her teeth. He hissed in pain which quickly turned into a groan when he felt the tip of his cock rub against Liz's vagina lips. Her wetness coated the tip of his cock. He was right—she was more than beautiful. Her breasts did fit in the palm of his hands. She did have curves in all the right places. He licked at the freckles that danced across her chest, deliberately ignoring her soft mounds, and groaned when he caught sight of the triangular patch of hair in between her legs.
"Please," she whimpered, wanting to satisfy the ache. She was so far gone that she didn't care about foreplay anymore. She wanted him buried deep inside her now. She wanted to feel herself stretch to accommodate him. She wanted to feel him invade her body. She wanted to feel him slide against her walls. She wanted him to bring her to heaven and crash her back down to Earth. Zan rubbed his unshaven chin against her neck and down the valley of her breasts, finally capturing a nipple in his mouth. The scratchy feeling of his beard against her skin made Liz tingle. She let out a moan as his tongue repeatedly dabbed at her nipple. His hands then held her breasts, softly pushing them together as if she was wearing a push-up bra. His hot mouth trailed from one breast to the other, licking and sucking.
Liz pushed her heat towards his penis, managing to slip only the head inside of her. It wasn't enough, but it was a start. God, the girth of him, she thought, the girth! Zan nearly came when he felt how good she felt. He shook his head. He was barely even in her! It was just the tip. Liz mewed when he slipped out. He could hear the wet suction of her tight pussy. Unable to control himself anymore, he pressed his lips against her temple and pushed his full length into her heat. His eyes rolled back at the sudden feeling of her tight warmth completely surrounding his organ. Liz cried out loudly with her eyes clenched tight at the sudden feeling of being filled. Completion—they both were exactly where they wanted the other to be.
He couldn't believe they were finally joined. It felt like a dream to him. All the nights he had dreamed of taking her this way, of her underneath him—it was finally here. He bit his lower lip and pulled out his lower body as far as he could. His penis threatened to slip out and he quickly surged hard back inside of her. Her body jerked at invasion as she tangled her fingers into his spiky hair. She held on as his hips began a fast pace of re-joining their bodies. Her legs wrapped tighter around his waist, forcing him to go faster and deeper. "God, baby, you feel so tight," Zan panted out. Capturing her lips one more time, he lifted one of her legs over his shoulder. "Fuck!" he cried out as he sank deeper inside her.
"Oh god!" groaned Liz as she thrashed head to the side.
His grip tightened on her leg as he thrust deeply into her. Out of all the times he's had women, never had it felt this amazing. She was tight like she had never been with a man before. The walls of her vagina burned him and milked him for what he's worth. He buried himself hard into her, his balls nestled nicely against her ass cheeks. The sweat on his forehead fell onto Liz's chest, causing her breasts to glisten. He watched her body jerked as his cock reappeared and disappeared into her dark curls. Her constantly moving breasts taunted him. Panting heavily, her hands found their way to his headboard, stretching and exposing her body even more. He felt her clench around him, letting him know she wasn't going to last and neither was he. His hand dropped down from her leg to her center and his thumb found her nub. "OH GOD!" cried Liz as she sunk her nails into Zan's shoulder.
With him inside of her and the bundle of nerves attacking her body, it was too much for her to take. He dropped her leg back down onto the bed and placed both his arms on either side of her head. She curled her arms around his as his body pressed heavily against hers into the bed. He pushed inside of her, his entire body rubbing up against hers. She could feel his balls slapping against her flesh. Her legs were so wide open that she could feel his lower body hit her clit with every thrust. "Come for me, baby. You know you want to. I want to feel you come on my cock. Come on my fucking cock," he growled into her ear. As if on command, her body arched off the bed as her orgasm washed over her. She let out a yell as her walls pulsed and tightened more around him. His hips bucked against hers and with one final push, he came, coating her insides with his milky semen.
Spent, he collapsed onto her body, shivering just as much as Liz was. He nuzzled his sweaty face into her breast, enjoying the softness and the bounce. Slowly slipping out, hating to leave her body already, he wrapped her in his arms, rolled them over so she was on top. Liz rubbed her flushed cheek against his chest, trying to regain control of her body once again. They enjoyed the feeling of being in each other's arms; they didn't want to be anywhere else at the moment. As their breathing evened and their eyelids became heavy, they fell asleep in each other's arms.
To be continued.
Reviews are much appreciated.