Chapter 10

"I'm sorry, but can you repeat that? I'm almost certain I didn't hear you correctly."

"Leroy," Hiram warned.

"No, no." He crossed his arms and turned to Rachel. "What did you say?"

This was a bad fucking idea. Like seriously bad. On the scale of bad ideas we'd had, together and apart, telling our parents that Christmas after we'd just started dating that we were a couple was like tip the scales bad.

"I'm reasonably certain you heard me, Daddy," Rachel challenged.

I chanced a look at my mom. She was staring at her hands. She knew I was gay. It wasn't a shock for her, but… I also knew she was uncomfortable. I couldn't expect miracles.

"And I'm rather certain you said you and Ms. Fabray here are a couple." He challenged back.

Rachel crossed her arms defiantly. "I find it rather ironic that you have a problem with me being in a same-sex relationship. And disappointing," she added.

"Well then you're misunderstanding me. Because I'm not disappointed that you are in a relationship with another woman." He turned to me but then suddenly addressed my mom instead. "Mrs. Fabray, I'm going to apologize in advance if I offend you. It's not my intention."

"Daddy…" Rachel warned.

"Leroy," her father joined in.

I was looking for somewhere to hide or for a time machine so I could go back in time and smack Rachel in the back of her head when she suggested this little reveal.

I found myself looking at my mom, who waved her hand dismissively. "By all means…" She answered.

Fucking lovely.

Fuck it. "Yes," I spoke for the first time. "By all means."

"Do you find this funny?" He asked me.

I had to admit he was intimidating. But so was I when I wanted to be.

"I'm not sure how you gathered that. I'm obviously not laughing." I crossed my arms and held his stare. "Please continue."

"I'm just wondering what exactly you will gain from this?" He asked, eyeing me. "Now that you're certain Rachel will be successful… is that what's driving it? How far will you go to humiliate her?"

"Daddy!" She screamed. "That is unacceptable behavior and I will not have you…"

"No Rachel!" He yelled back. "You don't understand! You are just now able to…"

"Leroy please…" Hiram pleaded.

"How can you be okay with this? You know that she…" He asked his husband.

"Why can't you just listen to me?" Rachel's voice rose. I noticed the hysteric. "You're embarrassing me. Not to mention yourself and…"

"Embarrassing you?!" Leroy countered. "Well excuse me for being worried…"

"Leroy!"

Everyone was talking over each other and yelling and I could feel the familiar push to run the hell out of there.

I missed the person who cleared their throat the first time.

"Excuse me," my mother said. "Excuse me," she said again more forcefully.

Everyone stopped talking and turned to her.

"If I may?" She asked, quietly.

They all three nodded at her.

"Thank you," she said. She was the only one not standing. She actually stared at us until we all sat down. She nodded when everyone did. "I would like to say that I understand your reservations, Mr. Berry. I have no doubt they are not unfounded. Quinn was not what I would call kind to Rachel."

"Understatement," Leroy muttered.

"Be that as it may, I believe I may have some insight into things that you are not privy to. If I might?"

They nodded at her.

"In our family, Quinn was taught from an early age to hide her feelings. Fabrays did not show emotion. Not in public. It was a weakness." She turned to frown at me, before turning back to them. "Unfortunately, Quinnie here is a highly emotional person…"

"Mom," I warned. "Don't…"

"Oh, I think I will. Please be patient. I realize you lack that trait normally but…" She shook her head, directing her attention back to Rachel's father. "What Rachel saw… at least at first was Quinn hiding those emotions. And emulating her father, sadly. Until it got to be… well too much. Let's just leave it at that… When she told us she was homosexual," she said, the word clearly foreign on her lips, "… well, I wasn't what you could call exactly surprised. So many pieces fell into place." She sighed and smiled at them. Ever the picture of manners. "To be honest… I could really give a damn…" I hid my shock at that statement. "But Russell… he was an idiot. And gone, thank god." She shook her head again. This time to clear it. "The first time I ever saw my daughter's heart actually broken was one day I will never forget…"

Holy shit. No way. "Mom, please don't…" I begged.

"I certainly will, Quinnie," she said, not even bothering to look at me. "I'd gone out of town to visit my mother for the weekend. When I came home, I found Quinn lying on the couch, still in her pajamas. After lunch…" She shuddered, as if I'd committed some heinous crime instead of not showering that morning.

I closed my eyes.

"When I asked her what was wrong… she started crying… I had seen Quinnie cry only a handful of times since she was six years old. So you can only imagine my shock. She finally was able to tell me…"

"Mom I am honestly begging here…"

"Quinn, let her speak," Rachel interrupted.

I rolled my eyes.

"Thank you, dear," my mom smiled at her. "She asked me how it was possible to love someone so much that it physically hurt." She frowned again. "I told her I had no idea. And then she responded… and I remember it so clearly… 'every time she sings, I just want to kiss her.'" She smiled slightly. "She'd never spoken about anyone like that before." She looked sadly at me this time. "And before I could tell her I was happy for her…" she looked away for a moment before steeling herself and turning back to us. "…she said, 'do you think I'll always be in love with someone I don't deserve?"

I gulped and looked away. My mother and her moments of empathy… What the hell was she thinking?

"Please understand, gentlemen, how rare of a moment that was… We did not discuss such things in our household. My heart broke for her that night because I was unsure if I could negate her fears," She smiled at Rachel then. "And then this… I see why Quinn is so in love with her. And why she always has been. She's a perfect young woman and the two of you have done a marvelous job." She turned her attention to me for a moment. "I've made many mistakes in my day, but…" She looked back at them. "I would like to think Quinn wasn't one of them. I'm very proud of her."

I was stunned. Honestly. I almost asked if it was possible that someone had kidnapped my mother and replaced her with a pod person. Or if she had a brain tumor. I wasn't sure whom this woman was sitting here holding court with Rachel Berry's terrifying father.

"So," she finally said, clearing her throat to get our attention. "I would ask you, with all due respect, Mr. Berry, to please not insult my daughter in my presence ever again. We all have our faults. And as the good book teaches us, 'Judge not, lest ye be judged.' I think we can all agree, regardless of our religious beliefs…" she caught my eye, "…or recent lack thereof… that it's sound advice."

She stood up abruptly and turned to Rachel. "I am so glad you have come into our lives, Rachel. And thankful. Thankful is a more appropriate word. However, I will not be a party to my daughter's humiliation. So I must respectfully take my leave." She turned to me. "Quinn?"

I shook myself out of my stupor. She expected me to follow her out. I really didn't have a choice. Rachel could execute a diva storm off like a pro. But no one could leave a speechless room as gracefully as Judy Fabray.

I nodded and followed.

After my mother's abrupt departure that day, Rachel's father was nothing but kind. And it took more time than I'd like to admit… but he warmed to me. I wasn't sure I would ever call our relationship loving (it was nothing like Rachel and my mother), and though I respected him tremendously and how much he loved Rachel, I never thought it would be.

After my release from the clinic, which took a few days… well, I was ready to leave. But I was definitely not ready for what was waiting for me in New York.

"Quinnie," my mother whispered beside me. "I know you are nervous, but I wish you'd stop shaking your legs like that. It's not ladylike."

My mother and her social decorum. I almost told her where she could stick her "ladylike" but I figured now was not the time.

We were on the airplane.

For whatever reason, Rachel had bought four seats, so that she could sit by herself. Or my mom could… or I could. I wasn't sure. I just realized I was so nervous that my mother sat down beside me as soon as we boarded.

Rachel turned around and peered through the seats. "Would you like to swap seats, Judy?" She asked, studying me.

My mom shook her head. "No dear. I'm fine. She's just jittery."

Motherfucking understatement. I was nervous as hell. I hadn't been out of that clinic in over five weeks. I was afraid I would end up in New York, just to get off the plane and find Leroy ready to shoot me in the heart. I absolutely didn't put it past him.

"Your father is going to kill me," I finally muttered. I was going with the whole honesty thing. I wasn't sure how that was going to work out for me.

She rolled her eyes, catching my mother's gaze. "I'd like to see him try," she huffed.

I almost spoke again, but the flight attendant stopped by our seats. "Can I get you anything?"

"No!" My mother and Rachel both blurted out as I nodded.

"Water," I smiled softly. I turned between them. "Seriously?!"

"Sorry," Rachel muttered.

"Yes, I'm sorry too," my mom frowned.

So I guess we were all nervous.

I tried to sleep on the plane, if only to assuage my nerves. Rachel assured me her father wasn't going to be at the airport with a cadre of FBI agents looking to hogtie me and transport me to Guantanamo.

"Quinn, that is the most ridiculous scenario you could have fabricated. Of course he's not. Don't be ridiculous. I'm not sure Guantanamo Bay is even in operation anymore. So obviously he couldn't transport you there." She grinned at her logic. "So see? Nothing to worry about."

It never failed to amaze me that she thought her fallacious lines of reasoning were reassuring.

My mother agreed. "Rachel's right. You're being a bit dramatic."

Oh my god. Seriously… dramatic? I forgot how much alike they were. I realized I could never take a drink again. Every single time they said something stupid and the other one agreed… I was just going to have to nod and accept it. I may have set myself up for more than was conceivably possible.

My mom was reading a book… I couldn't see who wrote it. There was a time when I would have been interested in the fact she was reading. Now, I was distracted by the butterflies beginning to flutter in my stomach.

"What if I can't do this?"

Rachel spun around quickly because she had bat-like hearing apparently, and quirked her eyebrow at my mother, who nodded and stood silently. See? Silent communication. I sometimes found myself wondering if they practiced that when I wasn't around just to freak me out.

Rach sat down beside me. "Quinn, I am so happy you're going back to New York with me. The city has felt so empty without you. I want you know how much it means to me."

I nodded, distracted. "I'm serious. What if I can't do this? I want to… but I'm not the strong one…"

I heard my mother huff, but ignored it.

"Then who is?" Rachel asked.

"What?"

"If you aren't the strong one, who is?" She was giving me her stunning smile and it made my stomach jump. "I'm counting on you to get me through the hard parts. And you can count on me. And then we can count on each other." She nodded, completely oblivious to her circular reasoning.

"In separate beds," my mother trilled from the seat in front of us.

We both rolled our eyes at that.

"In separate beds," Rachel added, mostly for Jude's benefit.

True to their word, no one was at the airport waiting on us. I breathed a sigh of relief as we got into the cab.

"See, Miss Paranoid," Rachel smiled. "I told you, you were going to be fine."

I nodded. Now I just had to make it to the house, walk to my "new" bedroom and hide for the next three months. Hopefully by then, everyone would forget I was there.

When we pulled up to the house, I held my breath. "I wasn't sure I'd ever be walking in this house again," I muttered, grabbing our bags out of the trunk.

Both Rachel and my mother nodded. I noticed they were distracted.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Rachel shook her head. "Nothing. Come one," she smiled, opening the door.

I stopped on the stoop and studied their faces. I wasn't sure what they were hiding, but I realized it was now or never, so I silently followed them inside.

As soon as my mother shut the door, I heard voices. Several voices. All in the same room.

"Oh hell no," I said. "Tell me they are not all in there waiting for us," I asked both of them.

"Quinn," Rachel started, "Greg thought that…"

I tried to push passed her. "Greg is a moron."

"I take offense to that, Quinn," I heard, from the other room. My eyebrow shot up.

"Video conference," Rachel frowned. "He thought it would be a good idea if we…"

"Oh he did, did he?" I asked, busting into the living room. Every single one of them was in there. I ignored them all and turned to the screen in the middle of the room. "You didn't think to tell me that I was walking into a viper's nest, Gregory?"

I could see him rolling his eyes. I really thought about getting back on a plane just so I could go down there and slap the hell out of him.

"Ten minutes," he started. "And then you can run. But I'm asking you to hear them out. Just ten minutes. I knew you wouldn't be able to stay there unless your animosity was resolved. Can you give yourself ten minutes?"

I crossed my arms and huffed. I moved to stand against the far wall away from all of them. Everyone was in there. Britt and San. Mercedes and Sam. Kurt and Blaine. Puck. Rach's fathers.

"Why do I feel like this is a fucking intervention?" I growled out.

"It's not," Greg said.

"No, it's the opposite of that," Brittany offered, smiling. "It's like a…"

"Quinnervention," Puck supplied, completely proud of his moronic self.

"I don't give a damn what you call it," I grumbled. "I don't want it. I stopped drinking. So you can save your guilt trips for when I fuck up."

"And do you think you're going to?" Greg asked, in that therapist voice he has.

"Well I wasn't planning on it," I mumbled. "But I wasn't planning on this bullshit either." I finished. Quinnervention. I couldn't believe the nerve of this man. I knew I should have asked to see his diploma.

"Greg," Rachel said. "Maybe this wasn't…"

"Nah, fuck that," Santana interrupted. She caught my mom's eye. "Excuse my language, Judes… but seriously, fuck that."

My mom frowned but nodded just the same.

"Et tu, Santana?" I asked. Seriously…

"Would you listen, Q? No one is ganging up on you." She sighed. "If you'd just…"

"No one is ganging up on me? What the hell do you call this?" I asked.

Sam frowned. "We want to apologize."

Hiram nodded. "We do."

Most of the rest of them nodded their agreement as well.

"Well thanks. Apologies noted." I turned to Rachel. "Now where's my bedroom?"

"Motto, Quinn?" Greg's voice interrupted me.

How about you go fuck yourself, Gregory? I thought and was very close to voicing. And then I caught Rachel's frown.

"Ten minutes," I mumbled. I ignored the collective sigh of relief from half the room.

"So who's going to start?" Greg asked.

"Me," Santana answered.

"Good," Greg started. "If you would like to…"

"Greg, that's Santana. She's…"

"I've met them all, Rachel."

"I know. But you can't see them. I assumed if I narrated then you would be able to…"

"I can tell their voices apart," he said.

"Well now I feel useless," she huffed.

Holy shit. I couldn't believe I'd stopped drinking.

Santana was watching Rachel with a look of bewilderment. "Anyway," she started again, "I'm starting because, well… I'm fucking Santana Lopez."

I saw my mother wince.

San ignored that. "We fucked up. I know we've said that, but I am not sure you believed how much we regret it."

I shook my head. "You didn't. You…"

"Didn't come get you? Even though I knew where you were?" She asked. "I knew what you were going through… what you were doing… I should've been… I'm sorry, Q. I should've had your back. First and foremost. I fucked up. And I'm sorry. I've missed you like crazy and it's been…" she looked around the room, "no offense to anyone here or anything, but… it's been a little boring without you here. Okay, fuck it… a lot boring. I mean you're my best friend. It finally feels good to say, you know? Hi. My name is Santana Lopez, and Quinn Fabray is my best friend. It's cathartic." She smirked at me.

I tried not to roll my eyes. Good to see her sarcasm was still intact. Guess I sort of missed it. "Look San, I know that Brittany comes first and I know that Brittany was… concerned about Rachel. I've never been angry with you. You tried to help me. I get it."

She shook her head. "No you don't. Let me apologize, ho. You're killing me here."

I smiled softly at her. "By all means… apologize away. Again."

"So yeah… sorry and shit. You're my girl."

I raised my eyebrow. "Seriously? That's it?"

"Are you kidding me? That was like a years worth of lovin there, Fabray. Damn." She grimaced. "Fine… I like sorta, kinda, you know… like you a lot or whatever."

It was far more than I expected. "Ditto," I smiled.

"Oh hell, don't get sappy…"

Brittany was bouncing up and down, her hand in the air. "Permission to speak, little dude in the computer?"

I saw the puzzled look on his face. He was probably wondering why I just drank and didn't partake in other recreational activities after living with these people… I wanted to get in his face on the computer and say I told you so.

"You don't have to ask for permission, Brittany," Rachel smiled sweetly. "You can speak."

B looked at me. "Can I?"

I waved my arm in the air.

"I totally was wrong, Q. I'm sorry for everything. I was just hurting and then Rachel was sad… and you don't like for people to see you sad, but she doesn't care and…" She took a breath. "I'm embarrassed because I knew it was wrong. I just wanted Rach to not hurt anymore. I shouldn't have made you leave." She looked at me with those big blue eyes.

"It's okay, Brittany. I know you were protecting Rachel…"

"No," Greg interrupted. "Honesty, Quinn. Tell her how you feel."

Fucking A. What the hell was his deal? "There's no point."

"She's not going to break," he supplied.

That was debatable. I looked at Santana. She'd know what to do. When she nodded at me, I closed my eyes.

"Fine," I huffed. "I was angry, B. I thought we were friends. I mean I got everyone else," kind of, I thought to myself, "but not you. I just thought, out of everyone, you'd be the one to… I don't know… understand."

"It hurt me when Eva died. Not like you guys, cause I mean, I'd never say that. But it… I loved her so much. She was my little snuggle buddy. And I couldn't see what was happening really cause I was hurting. It's not an excuse. I know that. But it doesn't mater because I made the wrong decision." She shrugged at that. "I guess I'm not perfect," she smiled, more surprised by the revelation than anything. "Who knew?"

What could you even say to that? "I guess none of us are."

She nodded. "You were hurting and we blamed you… for something you didn't do. You were hurting worse than anyone… that's not fair. I'm sorry you had to be sad for us to learn a lesson, but I promise… it won't happen again. Not while I'm here." She looked around the room and crossed her arms - and just like that Scary B was out in full swing. "Next?" She dared.

Mercedes cleared her throat. "We messed up, girl. We blamed you." She winced. "It was a screwed up situation and we blamed you. I'm so sorry. I'm so mad at myself… at all of us… we could've helped but we didn't. And…" She looked at Sam.

He nodded. "I kinda caught hell cause I knew where you were and stuff," he frowned. "I should've spoken up. I was scared of what they would…"

"He doesn't always think," she interrupted. "But, he did more than most of us," she frowned again. "I wish I could go back and just do it all over again."

"Don't we all," I muttered.

She nodded sadly. "I guess. But we can promise you that we won't turn our backs on you again. We want you here. You belong here."

"Okay," I relented. I caught Sam's eye. "You did what you could…"

"Wasn't enough," he mumbled.

"Wasn't your job," I supplied.

He shook his head, but didn't answer.

"I think we all lived in this fantasy world, Quinn," Blaine said. "When it crumbled, we…" he paused. "…it's not an excuse. Nothing we can say will rectify it. But we're a family and… we let you down. It was wrong."

"I know you're all sorry," I told them. "I get it. You don't have to do this."

Rachel frowned. "We do."

"You've been doing it for over a week now, Rach. It's enough."

"Is it?" Greg asked.

I looked towards the computer screen. "Baby steps. Isn't that what you said?"

"This is baby steps, Quinn," he answered.

"Well I was a fucking tool," Puck announced. "In case anyone was wondering. I just… you were my girl, Q. And I was pissed. And you know… Rach was always the one we thought needed protecting or whatever. I just didn't see what the hell was happening until it was too late."

"We all did," Blaine added.

I sighed. "I get it. You guys are sorry. Seriously. I was the one that made those decisions. I messed up. I'm sorry it's come to this honestly, but I don't think it's completely necessary. Maybe we should…"

"Do you know how much I loved Eva," Kurt interrupted.

I held my breath. I forgot he was in here. He'd been unnaturally quiet.

"Rachel is my best friend," he sighed. "And Eva was… I can't…" he gulped and collected himself. "…I know it's selfish of me to say it… but she was one of the brightest stars in my life. And then she was just gone and… I could've stopped you that night. I almost did. I've asked myself over and over again why I let you take her. It was raining and I kept thinking… she shouldn't take her." He shuddered.

"You didn't do anything," I told him. "I mean… it wasn't your fault. I knew it was raining, Kurt."

"I'm really quite tired of death." He finally spoke. "Losing Finn was monumentally awful but… he was an adult. Eva was just… I loved her. I blamed you. For Eva's death. For Rachel. It wasn't right. But there you have it…" He waved his arm in front of him. "I am sorry. You are the only thing in this world that keeps Rachel…" he smiled at her before looking at me, "…that keeps Rachel…"

"From floating off on her self-imposed cloud of diva," San supplied. "No offense, Berry."

"Exactly." Kurt nodded at me, smiling softly. "But that's not the only reason we want you here. You're a part of our family and you can make it closer to whole if you come back. We want you here because we love you."

I smiled at him. "Thank you."

Rachel crossed her arms. "Not to interrupt your love fest, but just because you say no offense, Santana, does not mean that I don't take offense. It would be like me saying, 'No offense Satan, but your natty weave is showing."

S smirked. "I'm gonna ignore the 'natty' cause you've been through a lot lately. And you know you love me."

She sighed back. "On occasion. But only because you round out my multicultural friend circle."

"Fair," Santana answered.

Some things obviously would never change. There was a weird sort of comfort in that.

"Quinn," Hiram said, smiling at me. "We'd also like to apologize. I'm so very sorry for the way things played out this last month. Leroy's and my reaction to Rachel leaving was…" he frowned. "…unacceptable."

"You're her fathers. I expected nothing else." I tried to smile back. "I would kind of be disappointed if you just forgave me."

He nodded. "There's nothing to forgive as far as our granddaughter is concerned. You were a wonderful mother. I truly mean that. I was always so proud of the two of you and what you created. When Rachel said you were providing the egg… well, we were disappointed because we wanted another little star like her… I'm entirely too embarrassed about that now. She was an angel. More beautiful than I ever hoped to imagine. And that was because of you."

"Thank you," I whispered. I felt tears brimming. "You don't know how much that means to me."

I watched Leroy's face though. He didn't seem as happy to forgive. "You were a good mother, Quinn. I will never deny that fact."

"Daddy…" Rachel warned.

He shook his head. "Honesty, right?"

She frowned.

I nodded. "I'd prefer it, Leroy." Well, more than a bullet through the chest at any rate.

"I always did like your bluntness, Fabray."

"Same," I replied.

"I would like to apologize for my overreacting. I understand now what was happening. However, it's hard for me to get over what you did before you left."

That was fair. I didn't like to hear it, but it was fair.

"You cannot do that, Daddy. We talked about this. If you can't be supportive…"

He held up his hand. "Listen baby girl, I am being supportive. But I have a right to say it. She hurt you. I understand now at least most of her reasons, but it's hard for me to just get over it. I'm sorry if you don't want to hear that. The fact that you two are just going to jump right back into…"

"There will be no jumping," my mother said. Everyone spun to look at her. "Quinn knows this. Separate bedrooms. Where they will be sleeping separately and not together. They are going to work on healing. Are you both listening? Because I will not have you destroy your progress over these last few weeks." She eyed us both.

We both nodded like ten year olds.

"And Judy for the win," Puck whistled.

Leroy contemplated that. "You made my baby happier than she's ever been. But beside the circumstances outside of your control, which the accident was… you also hurt her worse than anyone ever could. I don't like anyone having that sort of power over her. I need you to understand where I'm coming from here."

I thought about what he said. I was a parent. Maybe not for as long as him, but… I would have done anything in my power to protect Eva. "I know how much you love Rachel. I can't fault you for protecting her. I'm glad you want to."

He nodded. "I want you to get better. I want to see you both smile again. I know that things will never be the same, but… you've both got to try. I think if you do… well, as nauseating as you two are together sometimes, you belong with each other. I will never say otherwise."

I smiled at that. "Thank you. For being honest. I thought you were going to shoot me when I got here."

He smirked. "Can't say the thought didn't cross my mind…"

"Leroy!"

"Daddy!"

He ignored Hiram and Rachel. "They were blanks," he announced, winking at me.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. It may have been the funniest, honest thing anyone had said to me today.

He started laughing as well.

The rest of them looked at us like we'd both dipped into a large vat of crazy. There were honest to god tears in my eyes.

He stood up and walked over to me. "Welcome home, Quinn," he whispered, hugging me.

I couldn't remember the last time he'd hugged me. Maybe because he had never done so. I wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you," I muttered into his chest.

I finally started crying when he kissed the side of my head.

Maybe in time this could be home.

Again.