Chapter 10

The uneven sound of Bou tearing off an old piece of paper filled the room. He had the thick and brittle paper in his hand, staring down at it with shaking eyes. From last night, to this morning, he had decided to try again, to take another go at something he wanted, something to prove himself. Yet, when those rules screamed at him, telling him how he HAD to try again, he couldn't help but take them down. With four stains on the wall from the corroded adhesive tape, Bou stepped over to his end table, opening the drawer, silently hiding the rules in there until . . . He didn't know the outcome, or if would ever succeed. All he would be reminded of was the messy, ugly scribbles on the paper, noting how he had courage, just not in plain sight.

Where he stood, the blonde could hear his parents' alarm clock ring throughout their room and some throughout the apartment while the front door closed; Teruki's sign to go. Discovering himself staring at his bedroom door, he sighed, shuffling over to his bed, picking up the school bag beside it then clicked off the alarm clock. "Not today," he whispered, carefully placing the strap on his shoulder, following Teruki.

Failure was just a word. Only a word for people who never had motivation to finish what they started. Or, that's what Bou kept telling himself. He needed the strength, he needed the motivation to follow behind his teasing brother who gave no mercy when they arrived home. From the Kanon who called at least ten times and from the Miku who practically rejected him the second Bou felt he was on top, the blonde needed at least one person. One in . . . How many?

"Ahh," he groaned, hearing the clinking in his bag. His eyes flashed to his side, clutching the strap on his shoulder tighter as the nerves wanted to buckle down his knees; especially as teenage voices came into the streets and the unmistakable sight of the school building. Grip tighter on the bag, he took in a deep breath, jogging up and into the building, the clinking in his bag getting worse.

After several looks from his male peers, Bou shut the bathroom door behind him, back against the dirty metal. He bowed his head, hands running through his hair. The deafening mumble behind him, he mumbled, "C'mon, you can do this." And slipped the bag onto the floor hearing the clunking he knew would follow. Putting the top down on the toilet, Bou took a seat, reaching over to his bag where he pulled out a mirror from the front pocket and several small, dark bottles from the big pocket. Thighs together, he placed everything in his lap, biting his lip, as his whole body quivered.

Mirror in one hand, the blonde boy adjusted his face in the middle as he had a sponge ready, a sponge covered in a dark substance at least four times darker than his own face. "Here it goes," he whispered, hearing more foot steps.

Silence.

Silence made Bou feel as if he were deaf.

No one spoke as they spotted overly tan skin under his blonde hair. They noticed his slightly tanned fingertips and the way he had white outlines for eyes, his lips even. Not a demeaning remark, not a kind remark… All anyone could do was stare, nudging their friends. Bou, however, ignored everyone around him. He walked on as if nothing happened one and only one thing on his mind: Miku.

Even when he reached the classroom, the boy shuffled in, the corner of his white outlined eyes spotting Kanon, Teruki and Miku. Sitting at his seat again, he gently laid down his bag beside him, looking around the room to see only a few other people who, without surprise, kept glancing at the blonde, tanned faced boy. "Never give up," he whispered, taking deep breaths to calm his furiously beating heart; standing, moving a lock of hair out of his face before, "Hello!" He exclaimed in awkward English.

Teruki, who sat on the desk, fell off, a slight scream exiting his mouth. Kanon, who stood, took a step back, blush on his cheeks, a hand grasping his arm. And, Miku, whose only opinion matter mouthed a wow with a very disgusted face. His eyes went wide, his neck leaned back and he immediately looked away. Bou's face fell, his peace sign he then noticed, fell from the air to the side of his body. "I-I…" He stuttered hearing someone laugh behind him. Hands being on his chest as they fumbled each other, Bou backed up, tears making the white outline run. "Sorry!" he said in a croaky voice, heat puffing out his cheeks.

He should have known it.

The blonde boy, without a word, gave a last look at Miku before hurrying to his desk where he fisted his bag, running out of the class, arm against his eyes.

He ran out of the school, to the outside where he slowed to a mild walk, body shaking under the humiliation. Failing a second time felt worse. It felt as if your chest had been sunk in and each breath was sharp, stinging your lungs as to say this was your punishment. And, as if the humiliation slightly faded away, the bag hit the tree in some anger Bou felt for himself… How he so easily thought this was the way to do things, this was the way to make a fool out of yourself, Miku feeling pity and then pay attention to you out of pity. "I should have known!" He growled, back slamming against the tree, palms getting that dark, gaudy make-up same as the arm.

"I should have known!" He repeated, tears creating white streams.


The school in the distance seemed peaceful within its own nature. The school seemed . . . "Unbothered," he whispered, looking down to his tan covered hands. Where did he go wrong?

"Bou!"

The blonde's eyes flashed over back to the school where a boy jogged up to him, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "Kanon?" He said loud enough for himself.

"Bou . . ." Kanon said, closing in on the slouching blonde.

"Kanon, what are you doing here?" The blonde asked, looking away.

"Bou, I - . . ." He started, standing above the boy, standing above the mess that . . . "Bou," Finally, he noticed where he stood, he noticed his friend crying over Miku. "Come on, we're going to your place." He sweetly smiled, holding out a hand to the boy who wouldn't look at him.

"Why?" Bou croaked, arms wiping off his eyes again, smearing more of the make-up around.

"We need to clean you up." Kanon chuckled, "So we can go back to school." He finished, hand still silently opened for Bou.

Bou's eyes popped opened, head flashing to his friend. "Kanon. . ." He whispered, tearing up again, this time not for Miku. "Thank you." He lifted the soggy white outlines, grabbing his bag in one hand and Kanon's hand in the other.