No Ordinary Voyage, Chapter 10: Dawn
Now I understood everything. The secrets, the pain - now I knew why Peter and Felixa Helikos were barred from the Academy. Now I knew why there were so few passengers and so few merchants willing to send their goods aboard the Interloper. Now I knew why shadows dimmed Felix's bright eyes every now and then.
She continued with her story. "The Council named the ship the Interloper because that was how they saw my father: uninvited - a gatecrasher. As for Helikos, the last of that Takaran family had died out long before my father had sailed into their harbor."
"Ever since then, our family has been shuttling people and goods to and from Takara and other destinations. My father believed that he had to pay for his crimes somehow, and he chose to do it with service. That is why we continue on this route, even if there are better, richer ones in the etherium. We do it for my father."
She bit her lip, and then she surprised me and burst out crying. "I hate this! I hate it when people look at me and Peter they way they do - I know what they're thinking: The brubloo doesn't fall far from the tree. I hate being treated like I was the criminal, like I'm good for nothing!"
Instinctively, I reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, and she was racked with sobs. Soon I was cradling her, with her head by my collar. "My father may have been a criminal, but he was more honorable than most spacers I know! And I'M honorable! But no one sees it. No one sees me. All they see is an old pirate's blood running through my veins..."
I bit my lip to keep from crying, too. I knew what it was like to be judged discriminately. I knew what it was like to be called good for nothing, to be called a delinquent. It hurt to see Felix and her brother suffering from the same thing, multiplied threefold.
"Are you mad at your father?" I asked. She shook her head, but I knew she would. Captain Peter had told me that she loved their father fiercely; he was her hero. She burrowed her head deeper into my chest, and I wanted to say something to comfort her. I wanted to change everything, to wipe the hurtful past away. I couldn't stand to see anyone like my mother or like Felix and her brother in pain.
She became silent, and I took it as my cue. "I think you're honorable," I began, whispering. "When I came onboard the Interloper, I thought you and your brother had to be two of the finest spacers I had ever seen. Your men respect you, even if others don't. You have a family here that cares for you. I - I care for you..."
My voice trailed off as I looked down at her dark-brown hair. She sniffed, her eyes closed, asleep. She was tired of fighting and tired of running. Now she rested, her brow relaxed, her breathing even.
After watching her for a while, I felt my eyelids begin to droop, and I yawned. When I awoke, the sky was beginning to change color. I was alone in the crow's nest.
=*=
When I think back to that moment in the crow's nest, I try to imagine what else I could have done for her. I always remember what Ranga told me afterward.
When I came down, Baewong was waiting at the bottom. He didn't tease me about being with Felix the previous night; he didn't know. He probably guessed that after Felix took over his shift, I took over hers. Besides, everyone was still shaken by the visit of Drom Hicxon and his band. Baewong simply nodded his good morning to me and swiftly scuttled up the ladder.
I looked around. Captain Peter was still at the helm. Felix was sitting on the railing in front of him, in the same spot where we first talked. She and her brother weren't talking now, but there's communication that happens in silence. Her dark hair flowed out behind her, the bandanna lost in the fight.
As I looked up at her, I tried to will her to look at me. She did; she even gave a small, sad smile. I was about to give her a sign of acknowledgment when something banged into the backs of my legs, making me fall. I was flat on my back, the wind knocked out of me, when I saw Melissa standing over me, her pudgy face stretched into a smile and her red-and-orange eyes twinkling. "I was looking for you," she said in a singsong voice. "Mister Rang-ga's looking for you, too!"
I scrambled to my feet and turned around to see Ranga with his arms crossed, shaking his head with a smirk on his face. "I wake up to find my assistant already out of bed, and I find he's in the crow's nest," the Grahonian began. He put a silver hand to his chin. "Now, what could Hawkins be doing in the crow's nest...?"
I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck and tried to explain, but Melissa pushed me toward him. "Go, work! Now!" she squealed. Ranga laughed.
"I couldn't have said it better myself," he said. I walked with him, stretching my arms. Then Ranga said in a low voice, "Whatever it was, I don't think you could have said it better either..." I yawned as Melissa skipped behind us, singing a song. "I trust that you heard the stories I wouldn't tell?" I blinked and looked at Ranga in surprise. But I nodded. He smiled and faced the source of the spreading light.
After a while, he looked at me with a stoic gaze, and then he looked down at Melissa. Smiling, he took her hand and walked with her. "You know, Melissa, the dawn is only the beginning of the warmth a new day can bring."
I looked over my shoulder to catch a last glimpse of Felix. She was still there, and from the look on her face, I could tell that she felt much better.
Now I understood everything. The secrets, the pain - now I knew why Peter and Felixa Helikos were barred from the Academy. Now I knew why there were so few passengers and so few merchants willing to send their goods aboard the Interloper. Now I knew why shadows dimmed Felix's bright eyes every now and then.
She continued with her story. "The Council named the ship the Interloper because that was how they saw my father: uninvited - a gatecrasher. As for Helikos, the last of that Takaran family had died out long before my father had sailed into their harbor."
"Ever since then, our family has been shuttling people and goods to and from Takara and other destinations. My father believed that he had to pay for his crimes somehow, and he chose to do it with service. That is why we continue on this route, even if there are better, richer ones in the etherium. We do it for my father."
She bit her lip, and then she surprised me and burst out crying. "I hate this! I hate it when people look at me and Peter they way they do - I know what they're thinking: The brubloo doesn't fall far from the tree. I hate being treated like I was the criminal, like I'm good for nothing!"
Instinctively, I reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, and she was racked with sobs. Soon I was cradling her, with her head by my collar. "My father may have been a criminal, but he was more honorable than most spacers I know! And I'M honorable! But no one sees it. No one sees me. All they see is an old pirate's blood running through my veins..."
I bit my lip to keep from crying, too. I knew what it was like to be judged discriminately. I knew what it was like to be called good for nothing, to be called a delinquent. It hurt to see Felix and her brother suffering from the same thing, multiplied threefold.
"Are you mad at your father?" I asked. She shook her head, but I knew she would. Captain Peter had told me that she loved their father fiercely; he was her hero. She burrowed her head deeper into my chest, and I wanted to say something to comfort her. I wanted to change everything, to wipe the hurtful past away. I couldn't stand to see anyone like my mother or like Felix and her brother in pain.
She became silent, and I took it as my cue. "I think you're honorable," I began, whispering. "When I came onboard the Interloper, I thought you and your brother had to be two of the finest spacers I had ever seen. Your men respect you, even if others don't. You have a family here that cares for you. I - I care for you..."
My voice trailed off as I looked down at her dark-brown hair. She sniffed, her eyes closed, asleep. She was tired of fighting and tired of running. Now she rested, her brow relaxed, her breathing even.
After watching her for a while, I felt my eyelids begin to droop, and I yawned. When I awoke, the sky was beginning to change color. I was alone in the crow's nest.
=*=
When I think back to that moment in the crow's nest, I try to imagine what else I could have done for her. I always remember what Ranga told me afterward.
When I came down, Baewong was waiting at the bottom. He didn't tease me about being with Felix the previous night; he didn't know. He probably guessed that after Felix took over his shift, I took over hers. Besides, everyone was still shaken by the visit of Drom Hicxon and his band. Baewong simply nodded his good morning to me and swiftly scuttled up the ladder.
I looked around. Captain Peter was still at the helm. Felix was sitting on the railing in front of him, in the same spot where we first talked. She and her brother weren't talking now, but there's communication that happens in silence. Her dark hair flowed out behind her, the bandanna lost in the fight.
As I looked up at her, I tried to will her to look at me. She did; she even gave a small, sad smile. I was about to give her a sign of acknowledgment when something banged into the backs of my legs, making me fall. I was flat on my back, the wind knocked out of me, when I saw Melissa standing over me, her pudgy face stretched into a smile and her red-and-orange eyes twinkling. "I was looking for you," she said in a singsong voice. "Mister Rang-ga's looking for you, too!"
I scrambled to my feet and turned around to see Ranga with his arms crossed, shaking his head with a smirk on his face. "I wake up to find my assistant already out of bed, and I find he's in the crow's nest," the Grahonian began. He put a silver hand to his chin. "Now, what could Hawkins be doing in the crow's nest...?"
I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck and tried to explain, but Melissa pushed me toward him. "Go, work! Now!" she squealed. Ranga laughed.
"I couldn't have said it better myself," he said. I walked with him, stretching my arms. Then Ranga said in a low voice, "Whatever it was, I don't think you could have said it better either..." I yawned as Melissa skipped behind us, singing a song. "I trust that you heard the stories I wouldn't tell?" I blinked and looked at Ranga in surprise. But I nodded. He smiled and faced the source of the spreading light.
After a while, he looked at me with a stoic gaze, and then he looked down at Melissa. Smiling, he took her hand and walked with her. "You know, Melissa, the dawn is only the beginning of the warmth a new day can bring."
I looked over my shoulder to catch a last glimpse of Felix. She was still there, and from the look on her face, I could tell that she felt much better.