Lost and Found:

Ten

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The Alliance thought Commander Shepard was gone. They were right. They expected to find a corpse. They were wrong. Do our memories make us who we are? Shepard/Garrus, post ME3.

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Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to Bioware.

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A/N: Hi guys, I know it's been forever. Real life got crazy busy. My husband and I bought a house! The day before we closed on the house, a fire sprinkler caused significant water damage. So when we moved out of our apartment, the house wasn't ready. We're currently in an Airbnb waiting for the repairs to be complete. Needless to say, the last couple of months have been complete insanity. I hope to be able to update regularly (about once a month) again now.

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Shepard paced the floor of the transport anxiously.

"Shepard, please," Garrus said, exasperated. "There's no need to be nervous. My family isn't going to be rude to the savior of the galaxy."

She shot him a disgruntled look. "Don't call me that. And I want them to like me, not just be nice because of what I've done."

"They will," he insisted. He stood and took her hands to stop her pacing. "They'll love you like everyone else does. Now come sit down. Please?"

Shepard sighed, but allowed him to lead her to the bench where he'd been sitting a moment before. A short time later, the landing announcement sounded and they went to gather their belongings. "Remember to turn on your radiation shield," Garrus reminded her. "Palaven radiation is no joke."

As they exited the transport, Shepard followed Garrus as he dodged around families and couples greeting one all around the platform. She smiled at the sight. Almost everyone from their transport was coming home from the war. The galaxy was still recovering—and would be for years—but things appeared to be getting back to some form of normal.

"Garrus!" They heard the cry through the crowd. Garrus took Shepard's hand and dragged her towards the sound, releasing her only when a female turian jumped forward and wrapped her arms around him.

Garrus laughed. "It's good to see you too, Solana." When she released him, he looked behind her to a taller turian with pale face plates. "Dad?"

"Garrus," his father said gruffly, reaching out to shake his hand. "It's good to have you back in one piece. And this must be Commander Shepard." His discerning eye turned on her, and she forced herself not to blush.

"It's an honor to meet you," she said. "And you too, Solana. Garrus has told me a lot about you both."

Solana's mandibles spread in a smile. "Probably not nearly as much as he's told us about you. Come on, we've got a skycar waiting."

Castis drove them the direction of the Vakarian home, on the outskirts of Cipritine, the capital city. The structure of the house had still been intact when Castis Vakarian had returned to Palaven, and it hadn't taken him too much work to return it very nearly to it's original state.

Shepard submitted herself to a polite interrogation during the ride. Castis asked about the war and her past, which Garrus helped her answer, as well as her future plans.

"So, Commander," he began, "Are you planning on returning to active duty at any point?"

"No, sir," she replied. "My injuries won't allow for it. Too much permanent damage."

"That's a shame," he said. "I heard you were one hell of a soldier. What do you intend to do now?"

She glanced at Garrus. "I'm not sure," she said. "The Alliance wants me traveling around making inspirational speeches and whatnot, but I don't really think that's for me. So far I've just been working on rebuilding what I can. I'll have to see what my options are."

Before too long, they pulled in front of a modern looking concrete house, with thick walls and deep overhangs shading the windows. It was larger than Shepard had expected from Garrus's description. His father's work had obviously paid well.

Shepard took in as much as she could while they were ushered inside. The interior seemed perfectly serviceable, if a little bare. She supposed much of their original décor and belongings had probably been destroyed during the war.

They stepped into an open living area, and Castis motioned towards a door on a short hallway. "Garrus, your room is ready for you. I've prepared our guest room for the Commander—"

Garrus cleared his throat. "Actually, Shepard will be staying with me."

His father's browplates rose. "So I see," he said deliberately. "By the way, when is the wedding going to take place? Your message suggested you planned to be married immediately after the war ended. It's been months."

Shepard nearly swayed where she stood.

Garrus glanced at her nervously, but she was in no condition to express her surprise. "There have been some… complications, Dad. We're not planning on getting married right at the moment."

Castis frowned. "So you're living together without having made any kind of commitment? That is not how I raised you, Garrus," he said warningly. "Not how a proper turian conducts themselves."

Garrus turned to Shepard, still pale with shock. "Will you give me a minute alone with my dad, please?" he asked. "I'll come talk to you after."

"Garrus—" she managed.

"Please," he said. After a moment, she obeyed, going into his bedroom and closing the door.

She sat down on the bed, her heart pounding. Why hadn't he told her? She pulled a small notebook out of her pocket and began to write.

After a few minutes, Solana entered the room. "I'm sorry my dad was such a tactless ass. Garrus didn't warn us about your memory problem." She noticed Shepard writing. "What are you working on, if you don't mind me asking?"

She looked up. "Just before we left Earth, I started writing down significant things that happen to me. I don't expect to lose my memory again, but if I do, I won't ever have to wonder what I was thinking or feeling."

Solana sat on the bed next to her. "And what are you feeling about this?" she asked carefully.

"Confused." Shepard sighed.

"Well, please don't be too hard on Garrus. He does dumb things when he's scared."

Shepard's brows shot up. "Scared? He doesn't seem the type to scare easily. He's a soldier."

Solana smiled. "A good one. He didn't hesitate a second when the reapers hit Palaven. What really scares him is this emotional stuff. He just can't help it. So please… go a little easy on him." Smiling gently at Shepard, she stood and slipped out the door.

Shepard was left alone, writing in her book, until a worried Garrus finally entered.

"So…" she said, with forced calm, "Any other big secrets you've been hiding from me? We didn't adopt a cat or a… krogan baby or something?"

Garrus sighed, sitting down on the bed beside her. "I'm sorry, Shepard," he said, looking at her with pleading eyes. "I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want you to feel pressured."

"I get it," she said. "But I don't appreciate being blindsided. Is there anything else you need to tell me?" she demanded.

Garrus thought for a moment. "You did have some pets on the Normandy, a hamster and some fish. Unfortunately, none of them survived the crash. Our plan for after the war was to retire to an obscure colony world and live off the royalties from the books and vids."

Shepard sat for a moment taking it all in. "Well, I like the retirement plan anyways. And the wedding thing?" She looked at him. "I love you, but as far as I can remember, we've only been together a few months."

Garrus's eyes widened and his mandibles fluttered wildly. "You love me?"

She tilted her head, puzzled and a little hurt. "Didn't you know that? I'm sure I must have told you… before."

Garrus pulled her tight to him, letting out a faint keening sound. "I was afraid you never would again," he got out, his voice choked.

Shepard wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into his neck to hide the tears that had formed. "Oh Garrus… of course I do," she said. "Of course I do."

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